He'd accepted that she was "the one". He'd been around the block enough times to leave ruts in theasphalt, and he had no doubts that these emotions he felt when he was with her were the real thing.But...there was a distinct chance he'd lose it all-and her-when she found out the truth.It wasn't a picture he liked looking at.Jack closed his mental folder and slammed the drawer shut on the filing cabinet.Therehad to be a way. And dammit, he'd find it. Daphne was too important to him now for it to be otherwise.

With that resolve uppermost in his mind, Jack headed out for the studio, determined to find a solution-not only for the sake of his relationship with Daphne, but for his own future.He didn't want to be Big John anymore.Big John would have to die.* * * * *Daphne was hoa.r.s.e.Mondays were "Mom's Hour" in the Children's section of the library, and featured a guest storyteller surrounded by what seemed like hordes of colorful munchkins. All talking at once. As were their weary moms, who seized the opportunity to plunk Junior down on his or her b.u.t.t in a circle with twenty other "Juniors" in front of an amazingly loud-voiced volunteer. The storyteller held the kids in thrall for anywhere up to an hour, and the moms could kick back and breathe a bit, without having to do much more than detach one kid's hands from another's hair, or make frequent potty trips to the little bathroom. It was a very popular feature, and usually afforded Daphne a great deal of satisfaction, since she'd inaugurated the program in the first place.

But today was one of those days when every child seemed to have its volume control cranked up to "

high", and she'd been shouting over the cacophony for so darn long her throat ached.

Fortunately, it was also the day that included not only the a.s.sistant Librarian, but also two more

volunteers. A bunch of kids in the right mood could wreak more havoc in a library than two divisions of

armored marines.

As a lull fell over the building, and the storyteller droned soothingly to her motley audience, Daphne felt safe enough to take a quick break.

"I'm gonna go grab a coffee, Shel...want anything?"a.s.sistant Librarian Sh.e.l.ly Miles glanced up with a grimace. "Vodka and tonic? Double?"Daphne grinned. "Too early."Sh.e.l.ly grinned back. "It's gotta be five o'clock somewhere in the world.""I know what you mean."The other woman sighed. "I'll pa.s.s, honey, thanks. Any more coffee and you'll have to peel me off the ceiling along with the kids. I'm starting to think there must be caffeine in that apple juice they bring withthem. They're cranked today, for sure."

Daphne nodded. "Yeah. You're right. I'll be ten minutes at most, okay?"Sh.e.l.ly waved her off. "Go...relax. Breathe. Strangle a munchkin. Make it two...one for me." She gazedat the returns cart, which now tilted at a drunken angle and had burped books all over the floor. "Thelollipop league struck again."

Daphne smothered a laugh and slunk out the side entrance, heading for her favorite bookstore less than a block away. They served great coffee, and also offered great deals on older t.i.tles. Daphne was a regular shopper, drinker, and browser.

The soothing beverage eased her throat, the quiet of the store calmed her thoughts, and for the first time

that morning she felt free enough to allow the warmth that was Jack to creep into her mind.

Thinking about him while trying to work had resulted in some appallingly awful mis-filings, a couple of lost returns and a patron who couldn't understand why the book he'd put on reserve for his research into the mating habits of the Canadian goose had suddenly turned into an erotic romance.

Daphne shook her head to clear it of all but those thoughts she wanted to enjoy, and strolled the aisles.

Jack. Always Jack. He was so comfortably settled into her brain she had a hard time recalling her life

before he arrived. It was like she'd known him forever, had reserved a place in her heart for him, andhad just been waiting for him to come along and fill it.He had. He'd filled a few other places with perfect precision, too.She felt a blush heating her cheeks, and sternly told herself to focus on the books,not the s.e.x.Idly scanning the bargain table, a large volume tucked beneath caught her eye, and she balanced her coffee carefully as she knelt down to take a closer look.

"The Best Movies Ever Made." It was huge, with a glossy cover featuring a cla.s.sic movie-poster graphic that reminded her of the film noir ads from the nineteen-thirties. She pulled it out with difficulty and rested it on an empty stand.

Ooooh. It was, in a word, gorgeous.

Carefully turning the pages, Daphne lost herself in the beautiful color stills from some of the finest movies ever made. The darn thing lived up to its t.i.tle. She smiled at a black-and-white full size photo of Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart sharing "that" look.Casablanca , of course.

There was plenty of narrative, quotes from some of the best directors, from D.W. Griffith to Martin Scorsese, and a mammoth amount of information about dozens of fabulous films.

It was the "coffee table" book to end all coffee table books for movie fans, and Daphne knew just the coffee table it belonged on.

Jack's.

Nervously she opened the flyleaf and checked the price.Okay. Not cheap . But marked down... Not surprising, really, since this was a book for celluloid aficionados, not someone looking to fill an empty s.p.a.ce in their decorating scheme. A much cheaper volume on Renoir or Monet would serve that purpose.

This one was a treasure trove of information, photography and movie lore, and Daphne was convinced after only a few pages that Jack would love it. He was so knowledgeable about film, especially the cla.s.sics, that this would only enhance his collection.

She had a vision of them snuggled in front of his couch on the floor, turning the pages and discussing the movies featured in the book.

It was an image that brought a lump to her throat. It was one from a future she so hoped would come to pa.s.s. They'd gotten hot and heavy with each other, become s.e.xually involved so quickly, and then...in a backwards reversal of everything she'd a.s.sumed was right, they'd gotten to know each other.

And how she loved what she'd found.

Closing the book, she hefted it under her arm, grabbed her coffee with the other hand, and headed for the checkout aisle. This book was a sign. An omen. She'd buy it, give it to Jack and flat out tell him how she felt.

The h.e.l.l with the rules on this sort of thing. She couldn't live another day without releasing a lot of emotional stuff, whether he wanted to hear it or not. It was time.

Time to say a few words that could make or break her future. Not three little words, but four. "I love you,Jack."

She couldn't wait.

Of course the library had other ideas.

As soon as she got back and tucked her purchase safely into a desk drawer, her phone started ringing. And it rang, continually, for much of the rest of the day. Annoyingly demanding calls, pleasantly soliciting calls, calls from callers Daphne could willingly have shot point blank at the end of the afternoon.

When the final call came in, it was truly the last straw."Good afternoon, Miss Littlewood, I'm sorry to bother you..."Why? Everybody else and their brother has today..."I was in this morning for Mom's Hour, and just now I found..."What? A book? Your kid stole a book? Ripped off a first edition? Used Webster's as a teething ring?

What?"Spots."Daphne blinked. "Spots?""Yep. Spots. All over Jessica.""Uh..." Daphne's brain struggled."It's been confirmed by our pediatrician. It's chicken pox.""Oh lord." Daphne rested her forehead on her hand and closed her eyes."I'm awfully sorry. But I thought you should know. The children who were with Jessica this morning- they've all been exposed..."

"Yes...yes, I see the problem." What Daphnesaw was another round of phone calls alerting mothers tothe possibility of more spots."So I was hoping you could make a few quick phone calls? I've alerted my friends, of course, but there were lots of people there I didn't recognize. I'm not sure if you keep a list of kids attending...?"The woman's voice trailed off hopefully.Daphne straightened her shoulders. "I can check the library cards for books taken out after story hour.

Most of the children take one home with them afterwards, so it'll just be a matter of sorting the records."

"Bless you, Miss Littlewood-Jessie...don't scratch, darling-well, I must go. So sorry again for thebother.""Oh no bother. I hope Jessica feels better soon. Thanks for calling."And killing another two hours I could've spent telling the man I love that I love him. Aaargh.

Chapter Fifteen.

Unaware that Daphne was dealing with a.s.sorted public health issues, irate mothers and chicken pox, Jack had troubles of his own at the studio.

"Up the a.s.s, Ch-Ch-Ch-Chase, I want it up the a.s.s...c-c-c-c-come in m-m-my a.s.s...ohhhh."Jack pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed, and then clicked the switch on his small desk mike. "Oncemore, Donna honey..."

For some totally unknown reason, Donna Childs could spout dialogue with no hesitation while getting

thoroughly f.u.c.ked. But put her in a sound studio to re-record any lines that hadn't come through clearly,

and she stuttered.

Thanks to the odd sound glitch, Jack had found it necessary to get Donna to redo a page or so of her dialogue. And it had taken many long, looooong hours to get them out of the way.

Donna pouted on the other side of the sound booth gla.s.s. "But Big John! That was fine, wasn't it?"He bit the inside of his mouth, and held back his response.Sure, babe. If you want people to think you're a terrified virgin begging for a.n.a.l s.e.x. "Let's try it once more." He sighed again. "I'm sorry, Donna. But you know I think this is your best performance ever. I just wanna make sure all the rest of this film is as fine as your a.s.s."

Donna preened, thrust her huge b.r.e.a.s.t.s out nearly knocking over her mike, and smiled. She was tall,

blonde and gorgeous, f.u.c.ked like a rabbit on command and enjoyed every minute of it. And right now, Jack could cheerfully have strangled her.

"Lemme get a drink of water, okay, Big John?"

He nodded and leaned back in his chair, ignoring the hiss of exasperation from Chuck who had sat next to him and shared the entire miserable experience.

"Maybe if we get Brad in here, strip him and have him jerk off in front of her, it'll distract her enough to

get those d.a.m.n lines on tape." He drummed his fingers on the sound control panel."Not a bad idea, but let's hold it in reserve. We're nearly there. It's only taken, what...five hours to getten minutes of dialogue redone. And it's Donna. We knew it wasn't going to be a cakewalk."

Chuck snorted and watched Donna as she slurped down half a bottle of water. "Betcha five bucks she'l have to pee now."

"No bet." Jack grinned."Uh...Big John?" Donna tentatively tapped a finger on her mike. "Mind if I take a quick bathroombreak?"

Jack and Chuck exchanged glances.

Yeah, it had been a h.e.l.luva long day, and a difficult one for Jack. Almost bittersweet. He knew, without a

doubt, that this was going to be his last film. He was happy about it, and excited about the future, but ithad been his life up to now and there was a certain amount of nervousness involved.His future was uncertain. What it held, he had no clue. Just that Big John wasn't going to be a part of it."So." Chuck looked at him. "When are you going to make the announcement?"Jack's head jerked up and he stared at his friend. "What announcement?"Chuck smiled. "Jack, we go back more years than I can remember. I've seen you drunk, h.o.r.n.y, madder'

n a wet hen, and h.o.r.n.y. Did I mention h.o.r.n.y?"Jack chuckled. "Your point?""I've never seen you in love."

Jack blinked. "What?""You're the best director there is. It's been an honor to work alongside you and count you as my buddy.

But recently, it's been pretty d.a.m.n clear your heart wasn't in it so much. And over these last few days...well h.e.l.l, dude. She's on your mind, isn't she?" Chuck punched him in the shoulder. "You smile at the oddest times, take Donna's c.r.a.p without losing your temper, make phone calls that are longer than any I've ever known you to make, and don't put in eighteen hour days any more. You show up to handle a crisis with a pair of white lace undies in your pocket, which is so totally out of character for you, it's equivalent to Britney Spears joining a convent, and you ask me how I know?"

He grinned. "I'm a lot of things, but I ain't no fool, Jack."There was a long moment of silence."You want to take over the studio?" The words fell from Jack's lips as naturally as if he'd planned them.

He hadn't, but all of a sudden he knew they were the only ones he could have said."Huh?" Chuck gaped at him."You're right. I'm done. Finito. End of story. This is Big John's last movie. But Big John isn't real. I am, and yeah, there's someone special now. Real special. And I want a life with her that doesn't include spending my working days watching other people f.u.c.king their brains out."

"You'd rather be f.u.c.king your own brains out?" Chuck raised an eyebrow."Well, yeah, that too. But..." He ran a hand through his hair. "It's different with her, Chuck. Honest toG.o.d. Sounds stupid, but...it's just...different. That's all I can say."

He swallowed. "So here's the deal. Big John Johnson is a name not a real person. Sure, people knowme. But they know you too. You've just said how many years we've worked together. You know asmuch about this s.h.i.t as I do-more, in some ways."

He paused, collecting his thoughts. "So you're gonna take over Big John Johnson productions.""Just like that?""Yeah. Just like that."A clearing throat recalled both men to the buxom woman standing impatiently at the microphone in front of the sound booth. "You sure I have to do this once more, Big John?"Jack turned to Chuck and grinned at him, tilting his head toward Donna.Chuck heaved in a lungful of air and reached for the mike. "Just once more, baby. But this time, close your eyes, ignore all the sound stuff, and just think of Brad Marshall's d.i.c.k, okay?"

"Oooh." Donna giggled. "Okay, Chuck. That won't be hard. Or maybe I should say thatwill be hard."She giggled again and closed her eyes."See?" Jack mouthed the words to Chuck. "Nice going...Big John.""Up the a.s.s, Chase, I want it up the a.s.s...come in m-m-m-y a.s.s...ooooh..."

s.h.i.t.Jack and Chuck exchanged grimaces."h.e.l.l, it almost worked." Jack shrugged. "But see how easily you took over?"Chuck sighed. "It'll take some getting used to." He leaned back to the mike. "That was d.a.m.n near perfect, Donna honey. Just keep thinking of Brad's d.i.c.k, okay? Once more please..."He flicked switches and within half an hour they'd completed the re-record.And Chuck had himself a promotion.* * * * *"You'rewhere ?" Daphne stared at the phone in her hand."I'm at the studio...remember? The one I took you to...Sat.u.r.day night..."Oh yes, as if she could forgetthat !"Idon't understand Jack. What are you doing there?""It's a long story, babe, and I want to tell you all about it. Can you find your way here? I'll arrange for the guard to let you through and you can park where we did the other night. Okay?"Daphne gulped. "Uh...sure. I guess. Jack, are you all right? You sound a bit funny...""I've never been better, babe. Honest. Some stuff happened today that was...destined, I suppose. I need to see you-talk to you about it. How soon can you be here?"Daphne glanced at her watch. "Um...about half an hour or so, I guess?""Too long. But I'll manage to survive. See you then."The dial tone echoed in her hand as Daphne frowned at the now-dead phone. She'd called Jack's cellular as he'd instructed, so that they could make plans for the evening. She had no idea that they'd include another trip to the p.o.r.n studio. Or even if she wanted them to.

But if that was where Jack was, then that was where she would be.She wondered what it'd look like in the daylight. Probably seedy. Or maybe not...it hadn't been nearlyas bad as she'd expected on Sat.u.r.day night. And she'd been twice as bad as she'd ever imagined shecould be.

A blush spread over her cheeks as she gathered her things together, picked up the heavy book in itswrapping-thank G.o.d the store had offered gift wrap because she'd never have had time to do thatherself-and got ready to quit for the day.