Out of the corner of his eye he saw her turn to him with that sweet expression of love and concern that went straight to his heart.

"Don't worry, Sera. I'll be fine. Really. Just get me to Monterrey, and everything will be fine."

But he wasn't completely sure of that. He just didn't know. Sometimes he thought he'd reached the point where he was sure it wasn't going to bother him anymore, and then something like this would happen and he'd fall apart all over again.

It was never going to end.

Never.

chapter twenty-one.

Lisa came out the back door of Sera's house and sat down on the porch swing beside Dave. She handed him a beer, then popped the top on one herself. They swung gently, watching Sera's ponies in the pasture to the east of the barn. The moon had risen to a small half circle of pale amber high in the sky, and warm night air swirled around them, the temperature a good ten degrees higher than normal for this time of year.

"I had my hopes up," Lisa said. "Sera had all the ingredients for margaritas. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any tequila."

"Beer's fine."

"Actually, I was kind of hoping for something stronger."

Dave nodded. "h.e.l.l of a day, huh?"

"I've said that every day for the past four days. Is there any end to this?"

"Yes. Alex will call tomorrow and tell us he's got an informant, which means that when Robert crosses the border again he's toast."

"Will Alex be able to pull it off?"

"If anybody can, he can. Once he gets his teeth into something, he doesn't let go."

"Especially if he's helping his brother."

Dave smiled a little. "Yeah."

"You've got a good family, don't you?"

He nodded. "The best."

"You're a lucky man."

Dave turned to Lisa. "Just because you struck out on one family doesn't mean you can't start one of your own."

"It's the kind of life that works for you," she said. "But not for me."

"You need to think twice about that."

"We've talked about this, Dave. I know where I'm going. And that's not it."

Dave nodded and took a sip of beer, staring out into the night. "Have you thought about where this is going?"

"Where what is going?"

"The situation between the two of us."

"Situation?"

"If you hadn't noticed, we've been relatively unable to keep our hands off each other for the past few days."

She turned away. "Just think of it as one extended adrenaline rush. Once that goes away, the rest will go away, too."

"I don't think so."

"Come on, Dave. You and I both know this is a short-term thing. Let's not go looking for any deep meaning here, okay?"

"You mean let's keep it hot and mindless and try really hard not to think about it?"

"I haven't met a man yet who objected to that."

"You've met one now."

For some reason, Lisa suddenly felt hot. Uncomfortable. Still Dave's eyes were on her, probing and insistent, and she countered by replacing the frown she wore with a seductive smile. "So you don't want to have hot s.e.x with me on the back porch?"

"No, I don't." He leaned in, kissed her gently on the lips and whispered, "I'd rather make love to you in the bedroom."

The sensual way the words rolled right off his tongue sent warm shivers down Lisa's spine. For maybe the first time in her life, she sat within kissing distance of a man and had no idea what to say.

Dave set his beer down, then stood up and held out his hand. "What?" she asked.

"Come with me."

"But-"

"Don't argue."

She opened her mouth to say something. Nothing came out. Her heart had started to thump a little harder right about the time he kissed her, and it was really gearing up now.

She set her beer down, took his hand, and he led her into the house. But as they walked through the living room she had a sudden uneasy closed-in feeling, as if a touch of claustrophobia had swept over her. When they pa.s.sed the sofa she stopped him suddenly, circled her arms around his neck, and kissed him deeply.

"Sofas are nice," she whispered against his lips, stroking the back of his neck with her fingertips. "You can do all kinds of things on a sofa."

"Yes. I suppose you can."

He reached up, disengaged her hands from around his neck, and led her up the stairs. Halfway to the second floor, she turned him around and rose to the same step where he stood, inching closer and splaying her palms over his chest. "Ever had s.e.x on a staircase?"

"Can't say that I have."

"It's . . . interesting."

"I'll take your word for that."

He took her hand and continued up the stairs, dragging her right along behind him. They reached the landing and started down the hall.

"Dave-"

"The hall has hardwood floors," he said. "That would be painful."

"There's a rug-"

"Wool. I'm allergic."

"The bathroom-"

"I've already showered today."

He led her into Sera's guest bedroom. The lamp was switched on low, bathing the room in a warm yellow glow. To her surprise, he walked over to where his bag rested on the floor, knelt down, unzipped it, and pulled something out. With a flick of his wrist he tossed a handful of condoms onto the bed.

Lisa stared at them, swallowing hard. "Optimistic, aren't you?"

"I was a Boy Scout."

He took her hand again and pulled her around to face him. He buried his fingers in her hair, pulled her to him, and kissed her deeply. Slowly. Sensually. Moving with the speed of gra.s.s growing.

Faster. Faster. Come on. Let's go!

She reached for his shirt b.u.t.tons. He put his hands against hers, stilled them, then returned them to her sides. She countered by grabbing his belt buckle. He took her hands again, held them at her sides, then inched so close that she had to take a step backward. She b.u.mped into the wall, then looked up to find him staring at her intently. Just the sight of those dark, watchful eyes focused solely on her made her heart leap wildly.

"You know, Lisa, you've given me a h.e.l.l of a ride over the past couple of days."

She curled her lips into a seductive smile. "Why, thank you. Glad you enjoyed it."

"Trouble is, you didn't come along for the ride, did you?"

She frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

She swallowed hard and turned away. "Of course I did."

He took her chin in his hand and turned her back. The moment she met his eyes, she looked away again.

"My G.o.d," Dave said. "I'm right."

She slipped away from him, putting some much-needed distance between them, then turned back with a defiant expression. "Well, so what?" She made a scoffing noise. "Men. Jeez. Jeez. Their egos are so fragile. They come all unglued if they think they haven't-" Their egos are so fragile. They come all unglued if they think they haven't-"

"This has nothing to do with my fragile ego. It's hard to give somebody something when she refuses to take it."

"It's not important."

He inched close to her again, tucked his hand behind her neck, pulled her toward him, and kissed the spot just beneath her left ear. Warm shivers spread all the way to her toes.

"Tell me, Lisa. Have you ever felt the thing that you're so absolutely sure is unimportant to you?"

"Of course I have."

"With a man?"

She pulled away again. "Will you stop asking stupid questions?"

"Sure. Just as soon as I think you're telling me the truth."

"Please. You're acting like I'm some silly little virgin who doesn't know the meaning of the word s.e.x s.e.x."

"Nope. I can pretty much attest to the fact that you're not one of those. I just think that up to now it's been all give and no take."

"Come on, Dave. Do I strike you as somebody who wouldn't insist on having everything everything I thought I had coming to me?" I thought I had coming to me?"

"You'd have to want it first."

"And what woman in her right mind wouldn't?"

"One who can't bear the thought of not being in control of every single aspect of her life."

"So now I'm a control freak."

"You said it yourself. That's one reason you like to fly."

"But that doesn't mean I can't ever ever let go." let go."

"Prove it."

"What?"

"Lie down."

"What?"

"Do as I tell you to. Lie down on the bed."

She had no idea what he was going for, but at least being on the bed meant they were that much closer to getting down to business.

She sat on one side of the bed, and Dave pressed her gently down to her back. Then, to her surprise, he took her wrists and lifted her hands over her head until her fingertips brushed the vertical spindles of the headboard.

"Take hold of these," he said, wrapping her fingers around them, "and don't let go."