Dave let out a breath of frustration.

"Well, you can tell Alex he doesn't have a thing to worry about. I mean, a little hot s.e.x between friends hardly translates to a ring and a wedding date, now does it?"

Dave turned slowly to face her. "Is that all this is to you, Lisa? Hot s.e.x between friends?"

He looked at her without blinking, and in the dim light of the bedroom his eyes looked dark as coal. Finally she tore her gaze away. She arranged the sheets and blankets mindlessly, then settled back against the pillow again, never meeting his eyes.

"Come on, Dave. Let's face it. I'm not Carla. I could never be anything like Carla."

He looked at her with surprise. "Is that what you think? That I want you to be like Carla?"

"That's the kind of woman you want, isn't it?"

"Don't do that," he said sharply.

"What?"

"Don't tell me what I want. For G.o.d's sake, Lisa, the whole d.a.m.ned world thinks they know what I want, and I'm sick to death of it."

He exhaled sharply, staring at the ceiling. She could see the accelerated rise and fall of his chest, as if he was taking angry breaths, but she didn't know why.

Yes, she did. She'd mentioned Carla again.

Lisa said nothing for a long time, letting the silence settle the air between them. Finally she turned to him and spoke quietly.

"Then what do you want?"

A minute pa.s.sed, maybe more. Finally he let out a heavy sigh, then slowly turned to her, his face a spa.r.s.e silhouette in the dim moonlight. Rising on one elbow, he moved in close and spoke softly.

"I want you to be exactly who you are," he said. "I want you to do outrageous, spontaneous things. I want you to keep me on my toes. I want you to take charge of your own life. I want you to be tough and resilient and think nothing about standing up to the devil himself."

He stroked his hand through her hair, slowly, thoughtfully. "But when you hit those places in your life when you just can't handle things yourself, I want you to come to me."

The sincerity in his voice and the burning look in his eyes took her breath away. All she could do was stare at him, a sudden surge of awareness sweeping through her, the most secure feeling that with Dave in her life it wasn't all up to her anymore.

As he slid back down to his pillow, taking her hand in his, it struck her that she'd never actually slept with a man in her own bed. If she went to his house, she could make a quick escape afterward so there was none of that morning-after awkwardness. But there would be no awkwardness tomorrow morning. They'd rise at dawn, and once more Dave would do everything he could to help her.

What the future would bring, she had no idea. But for now, this was exactly where she wanted him to be.

chapter seventeen.

Until Adam heard Lisa's voice on the telephone, he hadn't allowed himself to believe that she really was alive. They'd survived. Both of them had actually survived. And if anyone could persuade Gabrio to come with them, it was Lisa. Never in his life had Adam met anyone as strong-willed, as decisive, as determined as she was. He smiled to himself. If she was driving toward a goal, G.o.d help any person who got in her way.

For the first time since he woke in Sera's bed, his headache had begun to subside, which was a good indicator against the possibility of ongoing complications. His muscles were still stiff and achy, but his bruises from the fall down that hillside had begun to fade to pale purple and yellow rather than black and blue. Pain still shot through his bullet wound every time he moved, but so far there was no evidence of infection.

He sat up and eased his legs over the side of the bed with a soft groan. He paused a moment for the little stars dancing in his head to disappear, then rose and took the two impossibly long steps to Sera's overstuffed chair. He sank into it gently, his muscles first crying out in pain, then relaxing against the new surface. Sera would object-strenuously-but d.a.m.n, it felt good to be out of that bed.

It was nearing nine o'clock. Looking out the window, he saw the barn in the distance, lit by flood lamps, where Sera kept her two Shetland ponies. They were all that was left from what had once been a farm full of livestock. More like house pets than horses, they trailed after her like a pair of puppies looking for attention. She'd gone outside to feed them, and he watched her now as she opened the corral and slipped inside. The dappled ponies approached her immediately, sniffing her pockets. She pulled out a carrot, broke off pieces of it, and fed it to them on the flat of her hand.

Adam had been at Sera's house many times over the past few years, and more than once he'd gone out to the barn with her to feed the ponies. One night in particular, he remembered standing in the corral with her near dusk, listening to the crickets chirping and the swish of the ponies' tails as they swept away flies. She mentioned that when she eventually moved back to the U.S. she was going to bring the ponies with her. He told her that she'd better get ready to pay one h.e.l.l of a big pet deposit.

She'd laughed a little, then turned to face him. In that moment, something shifted between them. They stared at each other a long time. Too long. She dropped her lashes for a moment, and when she looked back up at him again something had entered her eyes that hadn't been there before. A knowing expression. A flicker of desire.

An invitation.

He'd never in his life wanted to kiss a woman more.

Instead, he'd turned away, saying something about the ponies or the weather. . . . h.e.l.l, he didn't remember what he'd said. But from that moment on, he'd stopped looking at her as a colleague or even a friend. That was the moment he started looking at her as a woman.

He watched out the window as Sera went into the barn, and a moment later she emerged with buckets full of grain. She set them down on the ground and the ponies attacked them. With a last pat for each of them, she headed back to the house.

He heard her come back inside, then her footsteps on the stairs. The shower ran for a while, then fell silent. A few minutes later, she came to the door of the bedroom wearing a robe and slippers. Her eyes widened.

"Adam! What are you doing up?"

She hurried into the room, closed the window and pulled the curtains, then turned to face him. "Back to bed."

"I'm sick of that bed."

"It's where you belong. Right now."

"d.a.m.n, you're bossy."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm in charge here, Doctor, not you. Give me your hand."

She helped him back into bed, then gently pulled the covers up to his waist. She sat down beside him, tucking the covers around him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"Headache?"

"Actually, it's a little better."

She took his vital signs and found them to be normal, then checked his pupils. "That was a nasty contusion. There's still the chance of delayed hematoma. You could have a slow intracranial bleed as we speak."

"Yes, I could. But we're going to be out of here tomorrow. I'll have a CT scan the minute we hit Monterrey."

"Do you really think Gabrio will listen to Lisa?"

"She's our best shot," Adam said. "As long as he lets her in the door."

"That's where Lisa's friend comes in. He's a cop. She says he'll find a way into that house."

"So who is this man she's bringing with her, anyway?"

"I have no idea. She says he's just a friend."

"Must be a good one," Adam said. "She calls him in the middle of the night, and he drops everything and comes seven hundred miles into Mexico to help her. Is there something she's not telling us?"

"I guess we'll find out." Sera sighed. "Tell me this is going to be over with soon."

"You sound as if you want to get rid of me. Have I been such a bad houseguest?"

Sera smiled softly. "I've wanted you in my bed, Adam. I just wish it were under different circ.u.mstances."

Adam shook his head. Was there anything this woman thought that she didn't say? "That's what I like about you, Sera. I never have to wonder what you're thinking."

"But I have to wonder constantly what you're thinking." She paused. "How do you feel about me?"

Loaded question. And one he didn't want to answer.

"You know how I feel about you. I think you're smart, you're beautiful-"

"You know what I mean."

He turned away. "This isn't a good time to talk about this."

"No, it's the very best time. You can't walk away from me."

"You're taking advantage of my condition."

"Yes, I am."

"Come on, Sera. I'm practically old enough to be your father."

"So that's how you think of me? Like a daughter?"

Not a chance. If he thought about a daughter the way he thought about Sera, they'd haul him off to jail.

"I think you know better than that," he told her.

"Then don't tell me it's an age thing between us, because I'll know you're lying."

Adam was silent.

"You never told me why you're going to Chicago."

"To take a new job. You know that."

"No. I mean, why are you taking a new job?"

"It's a good opportunity."

"Right. Chief of staff." She shook her head. "Sorry. I just can't see it."

"You don't think I can handle it?"

"Oh, you can handle it, all right. I just think you'll be miserable. How many babies do you suppose you'll be able to deliver while you're shoveling through a mountain of paperwork?"

None. Thank G.o.d.

"It's a small hospital," he said, "but it's growing, so a lot of prestige will eventually be a.s.sociated with the position. In a few years-"

"You don't care about prestige."

He stopped short, letting out a breath of frustration.

"You do, however, care about your patients, your friends, your family." She paused. "And unless I'm mistaken, you also care about me."

What could he say to that? The worst thing he could do was try to deny it. She'd see in a heartbeat just how big a liar he really was.

"I know I'm pushing here, Adam. But I don't have the luxury of mincing words. Time isn't on my side."

"Sera-"

"Tell me you don't love me."

He looked away. Stop it, Sera. Please don't do this to me. Stop it, Sera. Please don't do this to me. Please don't make me lie to you. Please don't make me lie to you.

"Say it, Adam. Say you don't love me and I'll never bring it up again."

He started to say it. The words were on the very tip of his tongue, poised to come out of his mouth. But he was tired of lying. Tired of lying to himself, tired of lying to her. So d.a.m.ned tired of denying what he'd felt for her all this time that he just couldn't do it anymore. Words tumbled out of his mouth that had been bottled up for two long years.

"Of course I love you," he said. "How the h.e.l.l could I not love you? You're an incredible woman, so much so that sometimes it's all I can do to keep my hands off you, to keep from telling the whole world that I'm in love with you, to keep from stopping people on the street and telling them-"

"Why didn't you say say something?" something?"

"Because you need another man, Sera. One who can give you what I can't."

"You have everything I want, Adam. Don't you know that? You're the most caring, compa.s.sionate man I know. You have a kind word for everyone. You're lying here, wounded and in pain, refusing to get help for yourself for the sake of somebody else. It's why I love you."

He turned away. "You don't know everything about me."

"Of course not. That's what a lifetime together is for."

A lifetime together. She was killing him. Word by word, she was killing him. If only she knew how desperately he wanted that. And how impossible it was for him even to think about.

"Sera? Do you remember what you said to me the very first time I met you? About the reason you became a midwife?"

"What?"

"You told me that watching a man and his wife holding that new baby, knowing it was something they created together, was the most beautiful thing in the world."