"By G.o.d, you were! By me! D'you think I'm a fool? You've been teasing that dirty old bull this month past, and I find him all but mounting you, and you expect me to believe -" My head was swimming with drink, and I lost the words. "You've dishonoured me, d.a.m.n you! You've -"

"Oh, Harry, it is not true! I vow it is not! He must have stolen in, without my hearing, and -"

"You're lying!" I shouted. "You were whoring with him!"

"Oh, that is untrue! It is unjust! How can you think such a thing? How can you say it?" There were tears in her eyes, as well there might be, and now her mouth trembled and drooped, and she turned her head away. "I can see," she sobbed, "that you merely wish to make this an excuse for a quarrel."

G.o.d knows what I said in reply to that; sounds of rupture, no doubt. I couldn't believe my ears, and then she was going on, sobbing away: "You are wicked to say such a thing! Oh, you have no thought for my feelings! Oh, Harry, to have that evil old creature steal up on me - the shock of it - oh, I thought to have died of fear and shame! And then you - you!" And she burst into tears in earnest and flung herself down on the bed.

I didn't know what to say, or do. Her behaviour, the way she had faced me, the fury of her denial - it was all unreal. I couldn't credit it, after what I'd seen. I was full of rage and hate and disbelief and misery, but in drink and bewilderment I couldn't reason straight. I tried to remember what I'd heard in the closet - had it been a giggle or a muted shriek? Could she be telling the truth? Was it possible that Cardigan had sneaked in on her, torn down his breeches in an instant, and been sounding the charge when she turned and saw him? Or had she wheedled him in, whispering lewdly, and been stripping for action when I rolled out? All this, in a confused brandy-laden haze, pa.s.sed through my mind - as you may be sure it has pa.s.sed since, in sober moments.

I was lost, standing there half-drunk. That queer mixture of shock and rage and exultation, and the vicious desire to punish her brutally, had suddenly pa.s.sed. With any of my other women, I'd not even have listened, but taken out my spite on them with a whip - except on Ranavalona, who was bigger and stronger than I. But I didn't care for the other women, you see. Brute and all that I am, I wanted to believe Elspeth.

Mind you, it was still touch and go whether I suddenly went for her or not; but for the booze I probably would have done. There was all the suspicion of the past, and the evidence of my eyes tonight. I stood, panting and glaring, and suddenly she swung up in a sitting position, like Andersen's mermaid, her eyes full of tears, and threw out her arms. "Oh, Harry! Comfort me!"

If you had seen her - aye. It's so easy, as none knows better than I, to sneer at the Pantaloons of this world, and the cheated wives, too, while the rakes and tarts make fools of them - "If only they knew, ho-ho!" Perhaps they do, or suspect, but would just rather not let on. I don't know why, but suddenly I was seated on the bed, with my arm round those white shoulders, while she sobbed and clung to me, calling me her "jo" - it was that funny Scotch word, which she hadn't used for years, since she had grown so grand, that made me believe her - almost.

"Oh, that you should think ill of me!" she sniffled. "Oh, I could die of shame!"

"Well," says I, breathing brandy everywhere, "there he was, wasn't he? By G.o.d! Well, I say!" I suddenly seized her by the shoulders at arms' length. "Do you -? No, by G.o.d! I saw him - and you - and - and -"

"Oh, you are cruel!" she cried. "Cruel, cruel!" And then her arms went round my neck, and she kissed me, and I was sure she was lying - almost sure.

She sobbed away a good deal, and protested, and 1 babbled a great amount, no doubt, and she swore her honesty, and I didn't know what to make of it. She might be true, but if she was a cheat and a liar and a wh.o.r.e, what then? Murder her? Thrash her? Divorce her? The first was lunatic, the second I couldn't do, not now, and the third was unthinkable. With the trusts that old swine Morrison had left to tie things up, she controlled all the cash, and the thought of being a known cuckold living on my pay - well, I'm fool enough for a deal, but not for that. Her voice was murmuring in my ear, and all that naked softness was in my arms, and her fondling touch was reminding me of what I'd come here for in the first place, so what the devil, thinks I, first things first, and if you don't pleasure her now till she faints, you'll look back from your grey-haired evenings and wish you had. So I did.

I still don't know - and what's more I don't care. But one thing only I was certain of that night - whoever was innocent, it wasn't James Brudenell, Earl of Cardigan. I swore then inwardly, with Elspeth moaning through her kiss, that I would get even with that one. The thought of that filthy old goat trying to board Elspeth - it brought me out in a sweat of fury and loathing. I'd kill him, somehow. I couldn't call him out - he'd hide behind the law, and refuse. Even worse, he might accept. And apart from the fact that I daren't face him, man to man, there would have been scandal for sure. But somehow, some day, I would find a way.

We went to sleep at last, with Elspeth murmuring in my ear about what a mighty lover I was, recalling me in doting detail, and how I was at my finest after a quarrel. She was giggling drowsily about how we had made up our previous tiff, with me tumbling her in the broom closet at home, and what fun it had been, and how I'd said it was the most famous place for rogering, and then suddenly she asked, quite sharp: "Harry - tonight - your great rage at my misfortune was not all a pretence, was it? You did not - you are sure? - have some . . . some female in the cupboard?"

And d.a.m.n my eyes, she absolutely got out to look. I don't suppose I've cried myself to sleep since I was an infant, but it was touch and go then.

While all these important events in my personal affairs were taking place - w.i.l.l.y and Elspeth and Cardigan and so forth - you may wonder how the war was progressing. The truth is, of course, that it wasn't, for it's a singular fact of the Great Conflict against Russia that no one - certainly no one on the Allied side - had any clear notion of how to go about it. You will think that's one of these smart remarks, but it's not; I was as close to the conduct of the war in the summer of '54 as anyone, and I can tell you truthfully that the official view of the whole thing was: "Well, here we are, the French and ourselves, at war with Russia, in order to protect Turkey. Ve-ry good. What shall we do, then? Better attack Russia, eh? H'm, yes. (Pause). Big place, ain't it?"

So they decided to concentrate our army, and the Froggies, in Bulgaria, where they might help the Turks fight the Ruskis on the Danube. But the Turks flayed the life out of the Russians without anyone's help, and neither Raglan, who was now out in Varna in command of the allies, nor our chiefs at home, could think what we might usefully do next. I had secret hopes that the whole thing might be called off; w.i.l.l.y and I were still at home, for Raglan had sent word that for safety's sake his highness should not come out until the fighting started - there was so much fever about in Bulgaria, it would not be healthy for him.

But there was never any hope of a peace being patched up, not with the mood abroad in England that summer. They were savage - they had seen their army and navy sail away with drums beating and fifes tootling, and "Rule Britannia" playing, and the press promising swift and condign punishment for the Muscovite tyrant, and street-corner orators raving about how British steel would strike oppression down, and they were like a crowd come to a prize-fight where the two pugs don't fight, but spar and weave and never come to grips. They wanted blood, gallons of it, and to read of grape-shot smashing great lanes through Russian ranks, and stern and n.o.ble Britons skewering Cossacks, and Russian towns in flames - and they would be able to shake their heads over the losses of our gallant fellows, sacrificed to stern duty, and wolf down their kidneys and m.u.f.fins in their warm break-fast rooms, saying: "Dreadful work this, but by George, England never shirked yet, whatever the price. Pa.s.s the marmalade, Amelia; I'm proud to be a Briton this day, let me tell you."10 And all they got that summer, was - nothing. It drove them mad, and they raved at the Government, and the army, and each other, l.u.s.ting for butchery, and suddenly there was a cry on every lip, a word that ran from tongue to tongue and was in every leading article - "Sevastopol!" G.o.d knows why, but suddenly that was the place. Why were we not attacking Sevastopol, to show the Russians what was what, eh? It struck me then, and still does, that attacking Sevastopol would be rather like an enemy of England investing Penzance, and then shouting towards London: "There, you insolent b.a.s.t.a.r.d, that'll teach you!" But because it was said to be a great base, and The Times was full of it, an a.s.sault on Sevastopol became the talk of the hour.

And the government dithered, the British and Russian armies rotted away in Bulgaria with dysentery and cholera, the public became hysterical, and w.i.l.l.y and I waited, with our traps packed, for word to sail.

It came one warm evening, with a summons to Richmond. Suddenly there was great bustle, and I had to ride post-haste to receive from His Grace the Duke of New-castle despatches to be carried to Raglan without delay.

I remember an English garden, and Gladstone practising croquet shots on the lawn, and dragonflies buzzing among the flowers, and over on the terrace a group of men lounging and yawning - the members of the Cabinet, no less, just finished an arduous meeting at which most of 'em had dozed off - that's a fact, too, it's in the books.11 And Newcastle's secretary, a dapper young chap with an ink smudge on the back of his hand, handing me a sealed packet with a "secret" label.

"The Centaur is waiting at Greenwich," says he. "You must be aboard tonight, and these are to Lord Raglan, from your hand into his, nothing staying. They contain the government's latest advices and instructions, and are of the first urgency."

"Very good," says I. "What's the word of mouth?" He hesitated, and I went on: "I'm on his staff, you know."

It was the practice of every staff galloper then - and for all I know, may still be - when he was given a written message, to ask if there were any verbal observations to add. (As you'll see later, it is a very vital practice.) He frowned, and then, bidding me wait, went into the house, and came out with that tall grey figure that everyone in England knew, and the mobs used to cheer and laugh at and say, what a h.e.l.l of an old fellow he was: Palmerston.

"Flashman, ain't it?" says he, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Thought you had gone out with Raglan." I told him about w.i.l.l.y, and he chuckled. "Oh, aye, our aspiring Frederick the Great. Well, you may take him with you, for depend upon it, the war is now under way. You have the despatches? Well, now, I think you may tell his lordship, when he has digested them - I daresay Newcastle has made it plain enough - that the capture of Sevastopol is held by Her Majesty's Government as being an enterprise that cannot but be seen as signally advancing the success of Allied arms. Hum? But that it will be a d.a.m.ned serious business to undertake. You see?"

I nodded, looking knowing, and he grunted and squinted across the lawn, watching Gladstone trying to knock a ball through a hoop. He missed, and Pam grunted again. "Off you go then, Flashman," says he. "Good luck to you. Come and see me when you return. My respects to his lordship." And as I saluted and departed, he hobbled stiffly out on to the lawn, and I watched him say something to Gladstone, and take his mallet from him. And that was all.

We sailed that night, myself after a hasty but pa.s.sionate farewell with Elspeth, and w.i.l.l.y after a frantic foray to St John's Wood for a final gallop at his blonde. I was, beginning to feel that old queasy rumbling in my belly that comes with any departure, and it wasn't improved by w.i.l.l.y's chatter as we stood on deck, watching the forest of shipping slip by in the dusk, and the lights twinkling on the banks.

"Off to the war!" exclaimed the little idiot. "Isn't it capital, Harry? Of course, it is nothing new to you, but for me, it is the most exciting thing I have ever known! Did you not feel, setting out on your first campaign, like some knight in the old time, going out to win a great name, oh, for the honour of your house and the love of your fair lady?"

I hadn't, in fact - and if I had, it wouldn't have been for a wh.o.r.e in St John's Wood. So I just grunted, a la Pam, and let him prattle.

It was a voyage, like any other, but faster and pleasanter than most, and I won't bore you with it. In fact, I won't deal at any great length at all with those things which other Crimean writers go on about - the fearful state of the army at Varna, the boozing and whoring at Scutari, the way the Varna sickness and the cholera swept through our forces in that long boiling summer, the mismanagement of an untrained commissariat and inexperienced regimental officers, the endless bickering among commanders - like Cardigan for instance. He had left England for Paris within two days of our encounter in Elspeth's bedroom, and on arrival in Bulgaria had killed a hundred horses with an ill-judged patrol in the direction of the distant Russians. All this the misery and the sickness and the bad leadership and the rest - you can read if you wish elsewhere; Billy Russell of The Times gives as good a picture as any, although you have to be wary of him. He was a good fellow, Billy, and we got on well, but he always had an eye c.o.c.ked towards his readers, and the worse he could make out a case, the better they liked it. He set half England in a pa.s.sion against Raglan, you remember, because Raglan wouldn't let the army grow beards. "I like an Englishman to look like an Englishman," says Raglan, "and beards are foreign, and breed vermin. Also, depend upon it, they will lead to filthy habits." He was dead right about the vermin, but Russell wouldn't have it; he claimed this was just stiff-necked parade-ground nonsense and red tape on Raglan's part, and wrote as much. (You may note that Billy Russell himself had a beard like a quickset hedge, and I reckon he took Raglan's order as a personal insult.) In any event, this memorial isn't about the history of the war, but about me, so I'll confine myself to that all-important subject, and let the war take its chance, jugst the way the government did.

We got to Varna, and the stink was h.e.l.lish. The streets were filthy, there were stretcher-parties everywhere, ferrying fever cases from the camps outside town to the sewers they called hospitals, there was no order about anything, and I thought, well, we'll make our quarters on board until we can find decent lodgings at leisure. So leaving w.i.l.l.y, I went off to report myself to Raglan.

He was full of affability and good nature, as always, shook hands warmly, called for refreshment for me, inquired at great length about w.i.l.l.y's health and spirits, and then settled down to read the despatches I'd brought. It was close and warm in his office, even with the verandah doors wide and a n.i.g.g.e.r working a fan; Raglan was sweating in his shirt-sleeves, and as I drank my whistle-belly at a side-table and studied him, I could see that even a couple of months out east had aged him. His hair was snow-white, the lines on his face were deeper than ever, the flesh was all fallen in on his skinny wrist - he was an old man, and he looked and sounded it. And his face grew tireder as he read; when he had done he summoned George Brown, who had the Light Division, and was his bosom pal. Brown read the despatch, and they looked at each other.

"It is to be Sevastopol," says Raglan. "The government's direction seems quite clear to me."

"Provided," says Brown, "both you and the French commander believe the matter can be carried through successfully. In effect, they leave the decision to you, and to St Arnaud."

"Hardly," says Raglan, and picked up a paper. "New-castle includes a personal aide memoire in which he emphasizes the wishes of the Ministers - it is all Sevastopol, you see."

"What do we know about Sevastopol - its defences, its garrison? How many men can the Russians oppose to us if we invade Crimea?"

"Well, my dear Sir George," says Raglan, "we know very little, you see. There are no reconnaissance reports, but we believe the defences to be strong. On the other hand, I know St Arnaud thinks it unlikely there can be more than 70,000 Russians mustered in the Crimean peninsula."

"About our own numbers," says Brown.

"Precisely, but that is only conjecture. There may be fewer, there may well be more. It is all so uncertain." He sighed, and kneaded his brow with his left hand, rather abstracted. "I cannot say for sure that they might not field 100,000 men, you know. There has been no blockade, and nothing to prevent their troop movements."

"And we would have to invade across the Black Sea, make a foothold, perhaps face odds of four to three, invest Sevastopol, reduce it speedily - or else carry on a siege through a Russian winter - and all this while relying solely on our fleet for supply, while the Russians may send into the Crimea what strength they choose."

"Exactly, Sir George. Meanwhile, only one fourth of our siege equipment has arrived. Nor is the army in the best of health, and I believe the French to be rather worse."

I listened to this with mounting horror - not so much at what they were saying, but how they said it. Perfectly calmly, reasonably, and without visible emotion, they were rehearsing a formula which even I, ignorant staff-walloper that I was, could see was one for disaster. But I could only keep mum, clutching my pot of beer and listening.

"I should welcome your observations, my dear Sir George," says Raglan.

Brown's face was a study. He was an old Scotch war horse this, and n.o.body's fool, but he knew Raglan, and he knew something of the politics of power and warfare. He put the despatch back on the table.

"As to the enterprise of Sevastopol which the ministers appear to be suggesting," says he, "I ask myself how our old master the Duke would have seen it. I believe he would have turned it down flat - there is not enough information about the Crimea and the Russians, and our armies are reduced to the point where we have no leeway to work on. He would not have taken the terrible responsibility of launching such a campaign. "12 You could see the relief spreading over Raglan's old face like water.

"I concur exactly in what you say, Sir George," says he, "in which case -"

"On the other hand," says Brown, "I judge from this despatch that the government are determined on Sevastopol. They have made up their minds at home. Now, if you decline to accept the responsibility, what will they do?

In my opinion, they will recall you; in fine, if you will not do the job, they'll send out someone who will."

Raglan's face lengthened, and I saw an almost pettish set to his mouth as he said: "Dear me, that is to be very precise, Sir George. Do you really think so?"

"I do, sir. As I see it, things have reached a pa.s.s where they will have action, whatever it may be." He was breathing heavy, I noticed. "And I believe that with them, one place is as good as another."

Raglan sighed. "It may be as you say; it may be. Sevastopol. Sevastopol. I wonder why? Why that, rather than the Danube or the Caucasus?" He glanced round, as though he expected to see the answer on the wall, and noticed me. "Ah, Colonel Flashman, perhaps you can enlighten us a little in this. Are you aware of any factor in affairs at home that may have-determined the government on this especial venture?"

I told him what I knew - that the Press was yelping Sevastopol right and left, and that everyone had it on the brain.

"Do they know where it is?" says Brown.

I wasn't too sure myself where it was, but I said I supposed they did. Raglan tapped his lip, looking at the despatch as though he hoped it would go away.

"Did you see anyone when the despatch was delivered to you - Newcastle, or Argyll, perhaps?"

"I saw Lord Palmerston, sir. He remarked that the government were confident that the occupation of Sevastopol would be an excellent thing, but that it would be a d.a.m.ned serious business. Those were his words, sir."

Brown gave a bark of disgust, and Raglan laughed. "We may agree with him, I think. Well, we must see what our Gallic allies think, I suppose, before we can reach a fruitful conclusion."

So they did - all the chattering Frogs of the day, with St Arnaud, the little mountebank from the Foreign Legion, who had once earned his living on the stage and looked like an ice-cream vendor, with his perky moustache, at their head. He had the feverish look of a dying man - which he was - and Canrobert, with his long hair and ridiculous curling moustaches, wasn't one to inspire confidence either. Not that they were worse than our own crew - the a.s.s Cambridge, and Evans snorting and growling, and old England burbling, and Raglan sitting at the table head, like a vicar at a prize-giving, being polite and expressing gratified pleasure at every opinion, no matter what it was.

And there was no lack of opinions. Raglan thought an invasion might well come off - given luck - Brown was dead against it, but at first the Frogs were all for it, and St Arnaud said we should be in Sevastopol by Christmas, death of his life and sacred blue. Our navy people opposed the thing, and Raglan got peevish, and then the Frogs began to have their doubts, and everything fell into confusion. They had another meeting, at which I wasn't present, and then the word came out: the Frogs and Raglan were in agreement again, Brown was over-ruled and the navy with him, we were to go to the Crimea.

"I dare say the sea air will do us good and raise every-one's spirits," says Raglan, and by G.o.d, he didn't raise mine, I've wondered since, if I could have done anything about it, and decided I could. But what? If Otto Bismarck had been in my boots and uniform, I daresay he could have steered them away, as even a junior man can, if he goes about it right. But I've never meddled if I could avoid it, where great affairs are concerned; it's too chancy. Mind you, if I could have seen ahead I'd have sneaked into Raglan's 'tent one night and brained the old fool, but I didn't know, you see.

So there was tremendous sound and fury for the next month, with everyone preparing for the great invasion. w.i.l.l.y and I had established ourselves snugly in a cottage outside the town, and with all our provisions and gear we did comfortably enough, but being staff men we couldn't shirk too much, although Raglan worked w.i.l.l.y lightly, and was forever encouraging him to go riding and shooting and taking it easy. For the rest, it was touch and go, so far as I could see, whether the army, which was still full of fever and confusion, would ever be well enough to crawl on the transports, but as you know, the thing was done in the end. I've written about it at length elsewhere - the fearful havoc of embarking, with ships full of spewing soldiers rocking at anchor for days on end, the weeping women who were ordered to stay behind (although my little pal, Fan Duberly,13 sneaked aboard disguised as a washerwoman), the horses fighting and smashing in their cramped stalls, the hideous stink, the cholera corpses floating in the bay, Billy Russell standing on the quay with his note-book d.a.m.ning Lord Lucan's eyes - "I have my duty, too, my lord, which is to inform my readers, and if you don't like what you're doing being reported, why then, don't do it! And that's my advice to you!" Of course he was daft and Irish, was Billy, but so was Lucan, and they stood and cussed each other like Mississippi pilots.

I had my work cut out latterly in bagging a berth on the Caradoc, which was Raglan's flagship, and managed to get not a bad billet for w.i.l.l.y and myself and Lew Nolan, who was galloper to Airey, the new chief of staff. He was another Irish, with a touch of dago or something, this Nolan, a cavalry maniac who held every-body in contempt, and let 'em feel it, too, although he was a long way junior. Mind you, he came no snuff with me, because I was a better horseman, and he knew it. We three bunked in together, while major-generals and the like had to make do with hammocks - I played w.i.l.l.y's royalty for all it was worth, you may be sure. And then, heigh-ho, we were off on our balmy cruise across the Black Sea, a huge fleet of sixty thousand soldiers, only half of'em rotten with sickness, British, Frogs, Turks, a few Bashi-bazooks, not enough heavy guns to fire more than a salute or two, and old General Scarlett sitting on top of a crate of hens learning the words of command for manoeuvring a cavalry brigade, closing his book on his finger, shutting his boozy old eyes, and shouting, "Walk, march, trot. Damme, what comes next?"

The only thing was - no one knew where we were going. We ploughed about the Black Sea, while Raglan and the Frogs wondered where we should land, and sailed up and down the Russian coast looking for a likely spot. We found one, and Raglan stood there smiling and saying what a capital beach it was. "Do you smell the lavender?" says he. "Ah, Prince William, you may think you are back in Kew Gardens."

Well, it may have smelled like it at first, but by the time we had spent five days crawling ash.o.r.e, with everyone spewing and soiling themselves in the pouring rain, and great piles of stores and guns and rubbish growing on the beach, and the sea getting fouler and fouler with the dirt of sixty thousand men - well, you may imagine what it was like. The army's health was perhaps a little better than it had been on the voyage, but not much, and when we finally set off down the coast, and I watched the heavy, plodding tread of the infantry, and saw the stretched look of the cavalry mounts - I thought, how far will this crowd go, on a few handfuls of pork and biscuit, no tents, devil a bottle of jallop, and the cholera, the invisible dragon, humming in the air as they marched?

Mind you, from a distance it looked well. When that whole army was formed up, it stretched four miles by four, a great glittering host from the Zouaves on the beach, in their red caps and blue coats, to the shakos of the 44th on the far horizon of the plain - and they were a sight of omen to me, for the last time I'd seen them they'd been standing back to back in the bloodied snow of Gandamack, with the Ghazi knives whittling 'em down, and Souter with the flag wrapped round his belly. I never see those 44th facings but I think of the army of Afghanistan dying in the ice-hills, and shudder.

I was privileged, if that is the word, to give the word that started the whole march, for Raglan sent me and w.i.l.l.y to gallop first to the rear guard and then to the advance guard with the order to march. In fact, I let w.i.l.l.y deliver the second message, for the advance guard was led by none other than Cardigan, and it was more than I could bear to look at the swine. We cantered through the army, and the fleeting pictures are in my mind still - the little French canteen tarts sitting laughing on the gun limbers, the scarlet stillness of the Guards, rank on rank, the bearded French faces with their kepis, and Bosquet balancing his belly above a horse too small for him, the sing-song chatter of the Highlanders in their dark green tartans, the sombre jackets of the Light Division, the red yokel faces burning in the heat, the smell of sweat and oil and hot serge, the creak of leather and the jingle of bits, the glittering points of the lances where the 17th sat waiting - and w.i.l.l.y burst out in excitement: "Our regiment, Harry! See how grand they look! What n.o.ble fellows they are!" - Billy Russell sitting athwart his mule and shouting "What is it, Flash? Are we off at last?", and I turned away to talk to him while w.i.l.l.y galloped ahead to where the long pink and blue line of the 11th marked the van of the army.

"I haven't seen our friends so close before," says Billy. "Look yonder." And following his pointing finger, far out to the left flank, with the sun behind them, I saw the long silent line of hors.e.m.e.n on the crest, the lances like twigs in the hands of pygmies.

"Cossacks," says Billy. We'd seen 'em before, of course, the first night, scouting our landing, and I'd thought then, it's well seen you ain't Ghazis, my lads, or you'd pitch our whole force back into the sea before we're right ash.o.r.e. And as the advance was sounded, and the whole great army lumbered forward into the heat haze, with a band lilting "Garryowen", and the chargers of the 17th snorting and fidgeting at the sound, I saw to my horror that w.i.l.l.y, having delivered his message, was not riding back towards me, but was moving off at a smart gallop towards the left flank.

I cut out at once, to head him off, but he was light and his horse was fast, and he was a good three hundred yards clear of the left flank before I came up with him. He was cantering on, his eyes fixed on the distant ridge - and it was none so distant now; as I came up roaring at him, he turned and pointed: "Look, Harry - the enemy!"

"You little duffer, what are you about?" cries I. "D'you want to get your head blown off?"

"They are some way off," says he, laughing, and indeed they were - but close enough to be able to see the blue and white stripes of the lance, and make out the s.h.a.ggy fur caps. They sat immovable while we stared at them, and I felt the sweat turn icy on my spine in spite of the heat. These were the famous savages of Tartary, watching, waiting - and G.o.d knew how many of them there might be, in great hordes advancing on our pathetic little army, as it tootled along with its gay colours by the sea. I pulled w.i.l.l.y's bridle round.

"Out of this, my lad," says I, "and don't stray again without my leave, d'ye hear?"

"Why, it is safe enough. None of them is advancing, or even looking like it. What a bore it is! If this were - oh, the Middle Ages, one of them would ride out and challenge us, and we could have a set-to while the army watched!" He was actually sitting there, with his eyes shining, and his hand twitching at his sabre-hilt, wanting a fight! A fine credit to me he was, you'll agree. And before I could rebuke him, there was the boom of gunfire, beyond the ridge, and boom-boom-boom, and the whistle of shot ahead, and a little cloud of pink-panted Hussars broke away and went dashing over towards the ridge, sabres out. There were cries and orders, and a troop of horse artillery came thundering out towards us, and I had to shout at w.i.l.l.y to get him trotting back towards the army, while the horse artillery unlimbered, and wheeled their pieces, and crashed their reply to the Russian guns.

He wanted to stay, but I wouldn't have it. "Gallopers can get killed," says I, "but not sitting with their mouths open staring at a peep-show." To tell truth, the sound of those b.l.o.o.d.y guns had set my innards quaking again, in the old style. "Now - gallop!" says I.

"Oh, very well," says he. "But you need not be so careful of me, you know - I don't mean to go astray just yet." And seeing my expression, he burst out laughing: "My word, what a cautious old stick you are, Harry - you are getting as bad as Dr Winter!"

And I wish I were with Dr Winter this minute, thinks I, whatever the old wh.o.r.eson's doing. But I was to remember what w.i.l.l.y had said - and in the next day or so, too, when the army had rolled on down the coast, choking with heat by day and shivering by the fires at night, and we had come at last to the long slope that runs down to a red-banked river with great bluffs and gullies beyond. Just a little Russian creek, and today in any English parish church you may see its name on stone memorials, on old tattered flags in cathedrals, in the metalwork of badges, and on the nameplates of grimy back streets beside the factories. Alma.

You have seen the fine oil-paintings, I dare say - the perfect lines of guardsmen and Highlanders fronting up the hill towards the Russian batteries, with here and there a chap lying looking thoughtful with his hat on the ground beside him, and in the distance fine silvery clouds of cannon smoke, and the colours to the fore, and fellows in c.o.c.ked hats waving their swords. I dare say some people saw and remember the Battle of the Alma like that, but Flashy is not among them. And I was in the middle of it, too, all on account of a commander who hadn't the sense to realize that generals ought to stay in the rear, directing matters.

It was b.l.o.o.d.y lunacy, from the start, and b.l.o.o.d.y carnage, too. You may know what the position was - the Russians, forty thousand strong, on the bluffs south of the Alma, with artillery positions dug on the forward slopes above the river, and our chaps, with the Frogs on the right, advancing over the river and up the slopes to drive the Ruskis out. If Menschikoff had known his work, or our troops had had less blind courage, they'd have ma.s.sacred the whole allied army there and then. But the Russians fought as badly and stupidly as they nearly always do, and by sheer blind luck on Raglan's part, and idiot bravery among our fellows, the thing went otherwise.

You may read detailed accounts of the slaughter, if you wish, in any military history, but you may take my word for it that the battle was for all practical purposes divided into four parts, as follows. One, Flashy observes preliminary bombardment from his post in the middle of Raglan's staff, consoling himself that there are about twenty thousand other fellows between him and the enemy. Two, Flashy is engaged in what seem like hours of frantic galloping behind the lines of the Frog battalions on the right, keeping as far from the firing as he decently can, and inquiring on Lord Raglan's behalf why the h.e.l.l the Frogs are not driving the seaward flank of the Russian position before them? Three, Flashy is involved in the battle with Lord Raglan. Four, Flashy reaps the fruits of allied victory, and bitter they were.

It was supposed to begin, you see, with the Frogs turning the Ruskis' flank, and then our chaps would roll over the river and finish the job. So for hours we sat there, sweating in the heat, and watching the powder-puff clouds of smoke popping out of the Russian batteries, and peppering our men in the left and centre. But the Frogs made nothing of their part of the business, and Nolan and I were to and fro like shuttlec.o.c.ks to St Arnaud; he was looking like death, and jabbering like fury, while a bare half-mile away his little blue-coats were swarming up the ridges, and being battered, and the smoke was rolling back over the river in long grey wreaths.

"Tell milor it will take a little longer," he kept saying, and back we would gallop to Raglan. "We shall never beat the French at this rate," says he, and when he was reminded that the enemy were the Russians, not the French, he would correct himself hurriedly, and glance round to see that no Frog gallopers were near to overhear. And at last, seeing our silent columns being pounded by the Russian shot as they lay waiting for the advance, he gave the word, and the long red lines began rolling down the slope to the river.

There was a great reek of black smoke drifting along the banks from a burning hamlet right before us, and the white discharge of the Russian batteries rolled down in great clouds to meet it. The huge wavering lines of infantry vanished into it, and through gaps we could see them plunging into the river, their pieces above their heads, while the crash-crash-crash of the Russian guns reverberated down from the bluffs, and the tiny white spots of musket-fire began to snap like fire-crackers along the lips of the Russian trenches. And then the ragged lines of our infantry appeared beyond the smoke, clambering up the foot of the bluffs, and we could see the shot ploughing through them, tearing up the ground, and our guns were thundering in reply, throwing great fountains of earth up round the Russian batteries. w.i.l.l.y beside me was squirming in his saddle, yelling his head off with excitement, the little fool; it made no odds, for the din was deafening.

And Raglan looked round, and seeing the boy, smiled, and beckoned to me. He had to shout. "Keep him close, Flashman!" cries he. "We are going across the river presently," which was the worst news I had heard in weeks. Our attack was coming to a standstill; as the Russian firing redoubled, you could see our men milling anywhere at the foot of the bluffs, and the ground already thick with still bodies, in little heaps where the cannon had caught them, or singly where they had gone down before the muskets.

Then Nolan comes galloping up, full of zeal and gallantry, d.a.m.n him, and shouted a message from the Frogs, and I saw Raglan shake his head, and then he trotted off towards the river, with the rest of us dutifully tailing on behind. w.i.l.l.y had his sabre out, G.o.d knows why, for all we had to worry about just then was the Russian shot, which was bad enough. We spurred down to the river, myself keeping w.i.l.l.y at the tail of the group, and I saw Airey throw aside his plumed hat just as we took the water. There were bodies floating in the stream, which was churned up with mud, and the smoke was billowing down and catching at our throats, making the horses rear and plunge - I had to grip w.i.l.l.y's bridle to prevent his being thrown. On our left men of the 2nd Division were crowded on the bank, waiting to go forward; they were retching and coughing in the smoke, and the small shot and b.a.l.l.s were whizzing and whining by in a hideously frightening way. I just kept my head down, praying feverishly, as is my wont, and then I saw one of the other gallopers, just ahead of me, go reeling out of his saddle with the blood spouting from his sleeve. He staggered up, clutching at my stirrup, and bawling, "I am perfectly well, my lord, I a.s.sure you!" and then he rolled away, and someone else jumped down to see to him.

Raglan halted, cool as you like, glancing right and left, and then summoned two of the gallopers and sent them pounding away along the bank to find Evans and Brown, whose divisions were being smashed to pieces at the foot of the bluffs. Then he says, "Come along, gentlemen. We shall find a vantage point," and cantered up the gully that opened up before us just there in the bluff-face. For a won-der it seemed empty, all the Ruskis being on the heights to either side, and the smoke was hanging above our heads in such clouds you couldn't see more than twenty yards up the hill. A h.e.l.l of a fine position for a general to be in, you may think, and Raglan must have thought so, too, for suddenly he spurred his horse at the hill to the left, and we all ploughed up behind him, scrambling on the shale and rough tufts, through the reeking smoke, until suddenly we were through it, and on the top of a little knoll at the bluff foot.

I'll never forget that sight. Ahead and to our left rose the bluffs, bare steep hillside for five hundred feet. We could see the Russian positions clear as day, the plumes of musket smoke spouting down from the trenches, and the bearded faces behind them. Directly to our left was a huge redoubt, packed with enemy guns and infantry; there were other great batteries above and beyond. In front of the big redoubt the ground was thick with the bodies of our men, but they were still swarming up from the river, under a hail of firing. And beyond, along the bluffs, they were still advancing, a great sprawling ma.s.s of scarlet coats and white cross belts, clawing their way up, falling, scattering, reforming and pressing on. For a mile, as far as one could see, they were surging up, over that h.e.l.lish slope with the dead scattered before them, towards the smoking positions of the enemy.

Better here than there, thinks I, until I realized that we were sitting up in full view, unprotected, with the Ruski infantry not a hundred yards away. We were absolutely ahead of our own infantry, thanks to that fool Raglan - and he was sitting there, with his blue coat flapping round him, and his plumed hat on his head, as calm as if it were a review, clinging to his saddle with his knees alone, while he steadied his gla.s.s with his single arm. There was so much shot whistling overhead, you couldn't be sure whether they were firing on us with intent or not.

And then right up on the crest, above the batteries, we saw the Russian infantry coming down the slope - a great brown ma.s.s, packed like sardines, rank after rank of them. They came clumping slowly, inexorably down towards the batteries, obviously intent on rolling into our infantry below. They looked unstoppable, and Raglan whistled through his teeth as he watched them.

"Too good to miss, by George!" cries he, and turning, caught my eye. "Down with you, Flashman! Guns, at once!" and you may understand that I didn't need telling twice. "Stay there!" shouts I to w.i.l.l.y, and then had my charger down that slope like a jack-rabbit. There were gun-teams labouring and splashing up the bank, and I bawled to them to make haste to the ridge. The horses were lashed up the muddy slope, the guns swinging wildly behind them; one of our gallopers got them positioned, with the gunners hauling them round by main force, and as I came back up the hill - none too swiftly - the first salvoes were screaming away to crash into the flank of the Russian columns.

It was havoc all along the bluffs, and smoking h.e.l.l on that little hill. There were infantry pouring past us now, sweating, panting, smoke-blackened faces, and bayonets thrust out ahead as they surged by and upwards towards the Russian positions. They were shrieking and bawling like madmen, heedless apparently of the b.l.o.o.d.y holes torn in their ranks by the Russian firing; I saw two of them suddenly turn into pulp as a fusillade struck them, and another lying screaming with a thigh shot away. I looked for Raglan, and saw him with a couple of gallopers preparing to descend the hill; I looked for w.i.l.l.y, and there he was, his hat gone, shouting like a madman at the pa.s.sing infantry.

And then, by G.o.d, he whirled up his sabre, and went flying along with them, across the face of the slope towards the nearest battery. His horse stumbled and recovered, and he waved his sword and huzza'd. "Come back, you German lunatic!" I yelled, and Raglan must have heard me, for he checked his horse and turned. Even with the shot flying and the screaming and the thunder of the guns, with the fate of the battle in his hands, those ears which were normally deaf to sense caught my words. He saw me, he saw w.i.l.l.y, careering away along the bluffs among the infantry, and he sang out: "After him, Flashman!"

Probably, addressed to any other man in the army, that order would have evoked an immediate response. The Eye of the Chief, and all that. But I took one look along that sh.e.l.l-swept slope, with the bodies thick on it, and that young idiot riding through the blood and bullets, and I thought, by G.o.d, let him go for me. I hesitated, and Raglan shouted again, angrily, so I set my charger towards him, cupping a hand behind my ear, and yelling: "What's that, my lord?" He shouted and pointed again, stabbing with his finger, and then a shot mercifully ploughed up the ground between us, and as the dirt showered over me I took the opportunity to roll nimbly out of the saddle.

I clambered up again, like a man dazed, and rot him, he was still there, and looking thoroughly agitated. "The Prince, Flashman!" he bawls, and then one of the gallopers plucked at his coat, and pointed to the right, and off they went, leaving me clutching at my horse's head, and w.i.l.l.y a hundred yards away, in the thick of the advancing infantry, setting his horse to the breastwork of the battery. It baulked, and he reeled in the saddle, his sabre falling, and then he pitched straight back, losing his grip, and went down before the feet of the infantry. I saw him roll a yard or two, and then he lay still, as the advance pa.s.sed over him.

Christ, I thought, he's done for, and as our fellows surged into the battery, and the firing from above slackened, I picked my way cautiously along, through those dreadful heaps of dead and dying and wounded, with the stink of blood and powder everywhere, and the chorus of shrieks and moans of agony in my ears. I dropped on one knee beside the little blue-clad figure among the crimson; he was lying face down. I turned him over, and vomited. He had half a face - one glazed eye, and brow, and cheek, and on the other side, just a gory mash, with his brains running out of it.

I don't know how long I crouched there, staring at him, horror-struck. Above me, I could hear all h.e.l.l of firing and shouting still going on as the battle surged up the slope, and I shook with fear at it. I wasn't going near that again, not for a pension, but as I forced myself to look at what was left of w.i.l.l.y, I found myself babbling aloud: "Jesus, what'll Raglan say? I've lost w.i.l.l.y - my G.o.d, what will they say?" And I began cursing and sobbing - not for w.i.l.l.y, but out of shock and for the folly and ill-luck that had brought me to this slaughterhouse and had killed this brainless brat, this pathetic princeling who thought war was great sport, and had been entrusted to my safe-keeping. By G.o.d, his death could be the ruin of me! So I swore and wept, crouched beside his corpse.

"Of all the fearful sights I have seen on this day, none has so wrung my heart as this." That's what Airey told Raglan, when he described how he had found me with w.i.l.l.y's body above the Alma. "Poor Flashman, I believe his heart is broken. But to see the bravest blade on your staff, an officer whose courage is a byword in the army, weeping like a child beside his fallen comrade - it is a terrible thing. He would have given his own life a hundred times, I know, to preserve that boy."

I was listening outside the tent-flap, you see, stricken dumb with manly grief. Well, I thought, that's none so bad; crying with funk and shock has its uses, provided it's mistaken for n.o.ble tears. Raglan couldn't blame me, after all; I hadn't shot the poor little fool, or been able to stop him throwing his life away. Anyway, Raglan had a victory to satisfy him, and even the loss of a royal galloper couldn't sour that, you'd think. Aye, but it could.