HELEN. Yes.

GERARDO. Helen!

HELEN. Yes. What else do you want? I will promise anything.

GERARDO. And now may I go away in peace?

HELEN [_rising_]. Yes.

GERARDO. A last kiss?

HELEN. Yes, yes, yes. [_They kiss pa.s.sionately._]

GERARDO. In a year I am booked again to sing here, Helen.

HELEN. In a year! Oh, I am glad!

GERARDO [_tenderly_]. Helen!

[_Helen presses his hand, takes a revolver out of her m.u.f.f, shoots herself and falls._]

GERARDO. Helen! [_He totters and collapses in an armchair._]

BELL BOY [_rushing in_]. My G.o.d! Mr. Gerardo! [_Gerardo remains motionless; the Bell Boy rushes toward Helen._]

GERARDO [_jumping up, running to the door and colliding with the manager of the hotel_]. Send for the police! I must be arrested! If I went away now I should be a brute, and if I stay I break my contract. I still have [_looking at his watch_] one minute and ten seconds.

MANAGER. Fred, run and get a policeman.

BELL BOY. All right, sir.

MANAGER. Be quick about it. [_To Gerardo._] Don't take it too hard, sir.

Those things happen once in a while.

GERARDO [_kneeling before Helen's body and taking her hand_]. Helen!...

She still lives--she still lives! If I am arrested I am not wilfully breaking my contract.... And my trunks? Is the carriage at the door?

MANAGER. It has been waiting twenty minutes, Mr. Gerardo. [_He opens the door for the porter, who takes down one of the trunks._]

GERARDO [_bending over her_]. Helen! [_To himself._] Well, after all....

[_To Muller._] Have you called a doctor?

MANAGER. Yes, we had the doctor called at once. He will be here at any minute.

GERARDO [_holding her under the arms_]. Helen! Don't you know me any more? Helen! The doctor will be here right away, Helen. This is your Oscar.

BELL BOY [_appearing in the door at the center_]. Can't find any policeman, sir.

GERARDO [_letting Helen's body drop back_]. Well, if I can't get arrested, that settles it. I must catch that train and sing in Brussels to-morrow night. [_He takes up his score and runs out through the center door, b.u.mping against several chairs._]

[_Curtain._]

A GOOD WOMAN

A FARCE

BY ARNOLD BENNETT

CHARACTERS

JAMES BRETT [_a Clerk in the War Office_, 33].

GERALD O'MARA [_a Civil Engineer_, 24].

ROSAMUND FIFE [_a Spinster and a Lecturer on Cookery_, 28].

Reprinted from "Polite Farces," published by George H. Doran Company, by special arrangement with Mr. Arnold Bennett.

A GOOD WOMAN

A FARCE BY ARNOLD BENNETT

[SCENE: _Rosamund's Flat; the drawing-room. The apartment is plainly furnished. There is a screen in the corner of the room furthest from the door. It is 9 A. M. Rosamund is seated alone at a table. She wears a neat travelling-dress, with a plain straw hat. Her gloves lie on a chair. A small portable desk full of papers is open before her. She gazes straight in front of her, smiling vaguely. With a start she recovers from her daydreams, and rushing to the looking-gla.s.s, inspects her features therein. Then she looks at her watch._]

ROSAMUND. Three hours yet! I'm a fool [_with decision. She sits down again, and idly picks up a paper out of the desk. The door opens, unceremoniously but quietly, and James enters. The two stare at each other, James wearing a conciliatory smile_].

ROSAMUND. You appalling creature!

JAMES. I couldn't help it, I simply couldn't help it.

ROSAMUND. Do you know this is the very height and summit of indelicacy?

JAMES. I was obliged to come.

ROSAMUND. If I had any relations--

JAMES. Which you haven't.

ROSAMUND. I say _if_ I had any relations--

JAMES. I say _which_ you haven't.