"Well, it's too late now." Gin gave an unrepentant shrug.

"I'll call and apologize later. I'm not even sure why she wanted to see me."

"Maybe she didn't paw you enough this morning."

Gin grimaced. "She seems determined to fan the rumors about our supposed lesbian affair. To be honest, I don't trust her. She's a real media s.l.u.t."

She relaxed in Solley's arms once more, and they lay in silence watching the early evening shadows creep across the wall.

"Tell me about your child," Solley asked after a while.

"Did you have a boy or a girl?"

"A boy, Miki. He was born with a congenital heart defect.

They tried surgery, so he spent a lot of time in pain, in the hospital. He died just before his second birthday."

The words came out fl at and even. Her face was calm and composed, but Solley knew currents of deep pain ran underneath the still surface, turbulent and sucking. Clutching at the living. Dragging the sufferer down into dark, airless depths. Solley couldn't imagine coping with such a loss. She was scared to imagine it, to place herself in Gin's shoes and picture one of her children gone.

"I'm so sorry, Gin."

"Thank you." Gin's eyes seemed to swallow all the shadows in the room. "He was gorgeous, and so brave. He a 99 a had the most wonderful smile." She broke off abruptly. "See what happens? Sometimes it feels like yesterday, but it's been almost four years. I should be coping better. But it fl oods back like a big black wave, crushing me, squashing all the air and light out of my life, and I get scared I'll never surface again."

"Isn't that natural?" Solley said carefully. "You're still in a grieving process."

"I don't know. Every time I start to feel as though I'm fi nally getting through it, I seem to end up in another deep depression. There's no pattern to it, no trigger that I can see, except for his birthday and the day he died. This summer began like that. I just fell into a black hole. Knowing I was going to be working here at La Sirena Verde was the only thing that got me through."

Solley hesitated. Should she ask? But she was burning to know. "How do you feel now?"

"Right now?" Gin smiled broadly. "Lighter. Happier.

Looking forward to tomorrow. Meeting you and the kids sort of lifted me out of that hole. It's hard to be in a funk when they're around. And this." She tightened her arm around Solley. "This, today was...perfect." Her words slipped away into an intimate silence. She wanted to say more but needed time to process the roller coaster she'd been on since the moment they'd met.

"Who was his father?" Solley hoped she didn't sound too inquisitive.

"Someone who helped me when I decided I wanted a child, no strings attached. We're not in touch."

Solley was familiar with the situation. She and Dan had conceived the twins that way, and Janie and Marsha now had the same plan.

"I'm a very private person," Gin said. "Hardly anyone I work with even knows about Miki, apart from Marsha."

"She and Janie never said a word to me." Solley respected a 100 a the strong bond between the three women and was in awe of the painful secret they'd all carried.

"That's why I trust them. Marsha got me through. It's amazing, I know she hides behind this big, dumb, softy front, but when the chips are down she is there." Urgency entered Gin's voice, as if she had to get the whole story out. "He was so ill, I just walked away from everything so I could spend every minute with him. That's why there are rumors, I suppose."

Solley felt incredibly out of touch. All it had taken was three kids, and eight years as a mom, and she'd lost her grip on popular culture. She wondered which rumors Gin was talking about. Maybe Kelly Rose wasn't the only actress she was involved with, according to the media.

Gin must have sensed her uncertainty. With a wry grimace, she said, "I mysteriously disappeared, then returned without explanation, and I wasn't in rehab. There's bound to be speculation."

"But you're not an actress. It seems bizarre that you can't have a private life."

"The media follows me because they think I'm the key to outing an actress. There's enough gossip about my s.e.xuality to make stories like that sell."

Solley thought of the two silly women she'd overheard.

They didn't know Gin but had drawn the obvious conclusions.

Frowning, she recognized that after hearing them for the fi rst time, she'd seen Gin differently. Not just as a generous, friendly woman, but a s.e.xual being.

"I fell for the idle chatter myself," she confessed. "I thought you were the s.e.xiest lesbian on the planet. I couldn't believe you had any interest in me. In fact, I still can't."

Gin's hand found hers. "You're beautiful to me, Solley.

Inside and out. Don't ever doubt that, or forget... this."

Perfectly sated, they lay quietly in a calm, luxuriant a 101 a afterglow until Solley asked in a small voice, "Sat.u.r.day night...why did you stop me?"

Gin paused, calling upon her courage. "Because, despite all the rumors, as I said...I don't sleep around. I didn't want to be a summer distraction."

She swallowed a procession of silent pleas, alarmed by a reckless impulse to let them spill out. Please don't let me be a distraction. Please let me be real to you, because I'm falling for you, and I need you, and because I can't believe this could happen so quickly.

Maybe her powerful attraction to Solley was a trick of the heart to quiet the desperate, ugly neediness inside her. Or maybe she simply needed to feel something, anything, after years of numbness. Whatever the basis of her feelings, Gin was shaken by the certainty that she would turn her world around to have Solley in it. But her world was an empty place, and Solley's was full of people she loved and who loved her.

Although her life was a struggle, she was trying not to let it all fall apart through her divorce. And at least she lived it, in all its pain and pleasure.

"Oh, Gin, you drive me to distraction. Don't you know I'm now your alpha groupie? You make me feel so G.o.dd.a.m.n good, and that's offi cial." Solley gave her a big hug, and Gin's heart fell twice: fi rst in love, then into another abyss.

a 102 a

CHAPTER NINE.

Early the next morning, Solley and Janie took their coffee out to the deck to sit and watch Gin bodyboarding with the kids in the surf.

"Ah, this is what vacationing is all about." Solley leaned back, contentedly watching her hot, secret lover splashing about in red bikini trunks and a tight navy blue T-shirt. Hey, look at me. I've got a hot, secret lover! She was glad her sungla.s.ses hid the l.u.s.t she knew was burning in her eyes.

"You're in good form today." As usual, Janie's snoop-ometer had picked up on the emotional vibe. Her intuition was an uncanny gift, but one she never used in the fi ght against evil. Rather, it was employed for gossip, rumor, innuendo, and Janie's vicarious thrill-seeking through the s.e.xploits of others.

"I slept well," Solley said. It helped that she'd had hot s.e.x all afternoon and most of the night with her new lover, but she wasn't going to share that salient fact with her sister.

"Uh-huh." Janie eyed her suspiciously, the super-senses on alert. She knew something was up, and given a little time she'd get her answers. Solley was just too easy to play. With an innocent air, she remarked, "Kelly Rose is looking for Gin."

"She's here?"

a 103 a Janie gave a vague, uninterested nod. "Marsha says Sniper was fl oating around on the dunes yesterday. She's a paparazzi, a real stalker."

"What do you think she wants?" Solley tried to sound nonchalant.

"What do you think?" Janie rolled her eyes. "She's trying to catch Gin and that tramp with her pants down. If Kelly has any say in the matter, she won't have to wait long."

"Are you saying Kelly wants to be outed?"

"Who knows what goes on in the mind of a publicity junkie with the IQ of a gnat? Sniper may as well be her private photographer."

Solley glanced toward the dunes. If Kelly was hanging around, Sniper probably wasn't far away. "Well, if they think they're going to get her in a sleazy pose with Gin, they're kidding themselves." She got to her feet. "Where did you say Kelly was?"

"She could be down at the jetty." Janie poured herself another cup of coffee. As Solley started walking, she called after her, "When I said she wants to be outed, I didn't mean she hopes just anyone will jump her."

In a fl ashback to their adolescence, Solley fl ipped her sister the bird and casually exited the deck. She circled the dunes without seeing Sniper, then headed down to the old jetty. At a glance, the place seemed deserted, but then a fi gure moved into view and Solley found herself alone with the blond and beautiful Kelly Rose. Wrapped in a silk shawl, Kelly gazed moodily out to the horizon as though stood up by a movie hero.

Ah, this must be The Rendezvous That Will Never Happen , Solley thought smugly. Or perhaps The Trap That Will Never Snare , or The Tramp Who Will Never Be a Lady . Y ou won't be able to set Gin up for your paparazzi buddy today.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" She couldn't help but speak up a 104 a for the beauty of the place, and for some reason she couldn't quite fathom, she wanted this tramp to register her presence.

Kelly immediately swung around, but her welcoming smile stiffened and disappeared when she didn't recognize Solley. "Are you supposed to be here? This is private property, you know. Not open to the public."

Annoyed, Solley moved further onto the jetty until she faced the haughty star. "As a matter of fact, I do know. My sister owns this part of Topaz Bay."

Something registered in Kelly's icy blue eyes, which immediately sparkled with malice. "Ah, your sister's the one who sleeps with Marsha Bren?"

"Actually, she's Marsha's partner, not her concubine,"

Solley retorted, her dislike for this woman going all the way down to her taproot.

"Honey, in this business they're all concubines." Kelly smirked coolly, starting to turn away with a show of boredom.

"Rich or poor, they're all alike, all whoring for a piece of Hollywood a.s.s."

"Well, you can vouch for that better than me. I mean, what with you having your nose up against it all the time." Solley smiled sweetly. Don't you badmouth my sister, you studio wh.o.r.e.

"Why, you ignorant n.o.body," Kelly spat, not fooled by the clumsy innuendo for one moment. "I should get security to remove you."

"What's security gonna do, throw me off my sister's property?"

Even as Solley retorted, Kelly tried to swoosh indignantly away, but the narrow jetty inhibited her angry movements.

Spitefully, she elbowed Solley in the midsection, trying to lever more room as she pa.s.sed.

Swearing inwardly at the sharp dig in the ribs, Solley responded with the slightest, itty-bitty b.u.mp of her hip. But a 105 a with her being a big-boned, bad-tempered gal, even the tiniest nudge managed to totally unbalance the strident star. Kelly Rose tottered for one frozen moment, then windmilled franticly before spinning off the edge of the jetty in a graceful arc of silk and squeals.

Solley knew the water was warm and barely waist deep.

Even so, she momentarily considered hauling the actress out of her predicament and apologizing. After a nanosecond of soul-searching, she decided karmic justice had prevailed and spun on her heel, leaving the howling actress splashing and cursing behind her.

As she strolled away, she yelled, "Welcome to the Rayners, b.i.t.c.h!"

By midmorning, Gin and Marsha had been summoned back to the movie camp. It seemed Kelly Rose had departed abruptly, b.u.mping the schedule forward by a few hours. Still twitching with guilt at dunking a minor celebrity, and struggling to hide an overabundance of pent-up s.e.xual energy, Solley went for a short stroll to the rise overlooking the expanse of Topaz Bay. She needed time alone to go over every detailed minute of the past twenty-four hours.

She had barely taken in the spectacular view, when she heard her name hissed from one of the nearby dunes. Grinning, she mounted the crest to meet the impish gaze of Kelly Rose's pet paparazzi.

"Hey, Sniper. You're way too easy to fi nd. You need some twigs in your hair and boot polish on your face."

"I don't need the combat gunk, thank you. I got skill, sweetie." She grinned cheekily, her eyes roaming Solley's curves.

a 106 a "Too much skill, from what I've heard." Solley wondered how much she could learn if she could make this woman lower her guard, not that she doubted Gin's word about Kelly Rose.

But after Dan, it was hard to trust anyone completely. A part of her seemed to crave extra rea.s.surance. In a light, teasing tone, she said, "I've been warned to keep away from you. It seems you take no prisoners."

"Oh, it's the total opposite. I've been told I'm very captivating."

"I have no problem believing that. I bet you're honeyed fl ypaper."

Sniper shrugged. "I'd rather be a Venus fl ytrap. One step outta place and...snap." She swung her camera around, aimed it at Solley, and shot off a series of pics in quick succession.

"Hey, quit that."

"They're for my personal catalog. Keeps me warm on cold winter nights." Sniper grinned. "Don't suppose you'd contemplate taking your top off?" She raised her eyebrows hopefully.

"Do you want a slap?" Solley was not as annoyed as she pretended. She wasn't used to overt s.e.xual attention and found it more fl attering than perhaps she should.

"Okay, Sparky." Sniper fl ung her hands up in a conciliatory gesture. "Look, come here. Let me show you something."

Returning to her belly, she waved Solley over to join her.

"Here." The camera landed in Solley's hands as she stretched out beside the photographer. "Look out there, across the bay." Sniper leveled Solley's head and adjusted her angle.

The telephoto lens zoomed in on the waves in amazing detail.

"Wow, this lens is powerful. What am I meant to be looking at?"

"To the left a little." Sniper's body pressed full length along her back. The brown head rested beside hers. Sniper's a 107 a breath brushed past her ear as a smooth, tanned hand directed the camera. "See, a little ways out...dolphins."

"Oh, yes, I see them." Solley felt Sniper's weight push gently down onto her b.u.t.tocks. Then a very slow, undulating grind into her behind. She lowered the camera and growled, "Sniper, get off my a.s.s or I'll shove this lens where your fl ash don't shine."

"What the h.e.l.l is going on here?" Janie's indignant voice boomed from directly behind them.

They both jumped guiltily. Sniper fl ew off Solley's p.r.o.ne body, grabbing for her precious camera.

"Brilliant. While you're up here with your dirty little peep show, your daughter has just drifted out to sea on a bodyboard,"

Janie barked out.