A hauntingly sad smile pa.s.sed across Gin's face and for a moment it seemed she was going to speak, but she shielded her eyes and looked out at the orange-hazed horizon. Watching her, Solley was perplexed. In profi le, Gin's face seemed serene, yet Solley was certain she could detect a current of a 55 a deep emotion just beneath the tranquil surface. She almost asked what was wrong, then bit back the question. Perhaps the answer was obvious. She'd made it pretty clear that she didn't trust Gin with her children and, at the same time, Gin genuinely seemed to like them. Most adults wouldn't even try to handle the Rayner brood, but Gin actually initiated play.

And the kids loved her.

Solley pondered that fact and realized she was bothered by her children's instant adoration of Gin. They were wildly impressed with an adult they'd just met. They saw Gin as a hero, yet Solley was the one who weathered the daily challenges of motherhood. Their adulation had triggered something in her, an emotion that made her feel small and petty. Jealousy. With a stab of guilt, Solley saw that she'd blown today's events out of proportion to justify keeping her kids at a distance from Gin. How pathetic. Apparently she was more emotionally vulnerable than she'd thought.

Trying to backtrack a little, she adopted a conciliatory tone. "It's not your fault I'm a wreck, Gin. I feel like my whole life is balanced on a knife edge. Still, that's no excuse for behaving like a b.i.t.c.h to you."

Gin's expression changed as if she'd resolved something deep inside. Renewed energy literally pulsed from her and her whole face lightened. "I have an idea. What if maybe I gave you a trip round the bay in one of the power boats?"

It wasn't at all what Solley had expected her to say, but her dark eyes shone with excitement and promise and Solley was drawn to the idea. To the woman. But almost as soon as she recognized the fun, hope, and positivism of the suggestion, she heard herself squelch it. "No way, we'd lose everyone overboard."

"I meant just you and me." Gin refused to give up. "Things are sort of tense between us and I'd hate if we started avoiding a 56 a each other. It might be nice for us to get a little s.p.a.ce alone and maybe start again."

Was she talking about a date? Solley's throat clamped closed over a weird giggle.

Gin shuffl ed a little when there was no answer. "What I mean is, I really want to contribute to your family vacation, but now I feel like I'm detracting from it. I just want to do something nice for you. I know where some harbor seals sun themselves."

So, it wasn't a date, just a nice gesture. A reasonable, mature human being would say yes. Solley took a deep breath.

"Thank you. I'd love to go look at the seals."

A blazing smile split Gin's face. "I'll catch you tomorrow afternoon, then?"

"Okay, it's a date." Solley's mouth dried as soon as the words spilled out. A date? "I mean, I'll see you tomorrow."

She didn't wait for a reply. Mumbling something about the children's bedtime, she strode off down the beach, disturbed by her own amazing emotional shifts. One minute she was mad at Gin, the next she was agreeing to a nature expedition.

In all honesty, she didn't know what she felt and her confusion was worrisome. She needed to be making plans and getting her head clear so she could return home with some confi dence in herself. She couldn't afford distractions, and that's exactly what Gin Ito was.

Solley stopped to retrieve pairs of discarded sandals and rinse them in the surf. Her kids gathered around and Nelson bounded up, all tail and wet coat. Everyone cl.u.s.tered close together, covering their faces as he shook himself free of sand and water.

Observing the small tableau from her vantage point, Gin felt her heart squeeze, as if in a vise, at the simple domesticity of Solley and her children. She felt curiously drawn to this a 57 a young family in a way she didn't fully understand. Granted, she genuinely cared for them and ached for everything in their world to be all right. They deserved happiness. But she also had the bizarre sense that her fortunes were somehow tied to them.

Her gaze shifted to Solley. Her hair shone, haloed in the setting sun. Tall and tanned, she glowed with heat and pa.s.sion.

But sorrow and despair also weighed on her. Perhaps that explained the connection Gin felt. Supposedly misery loved company. She struggled to process her thoughts. Before she'd arrived at La Sirena Verde, she had spent several months in a state of bleak torpitude, unable to face work, people, life in general. Her depression had been so deep this time, all she could think about was the child whose warm body she no longer cradled. Her son, Miki.

Gin breathed the name, unwilling to lend her voice to it and hear the familiar sound fl oat away. Like everything else of her son's, she held the name close and could not let go. Filled with grief, she returned her attention to the Rayners once more.

She knew she was using them to salve her pain, but it was hard not to.

All the same, they were dangerously vulnerable and Solley didn't need anything else complicating her custody problems.

If Gin really cared about them, she needed to leave Solley alone, not take her out on a boat so they could have private time away from the children, just the two of them. What was that about?

Forcing herself to turn away from the small family group, Gin walked into the darkness, mulling over the answer to that question. She wanted to be with Solley because she was attracted to her, and suddenly she wanted so many things back in her life. Love and laughter. Caring and commitment. In fact, a 58 a she wanted a whole new life. And someone special to share it with.

Did these new urges mean her heart was fi nally healing?

And if so, was she ready?

a 59 a a 60 a

CHAPTER FIVE.

Janie decided to take things into her own hands the next morning. No more beating round the bush. There was l.u.s.tiness in the air, she could sense it, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. There was only one way to fi nd out if her sister was truly abreast of the situation, and no more thinking in puns either. She poured coffee and waited for the aroma to lure Solley into the kitchen.

"So, what's going on between you and Ms. Small-Dark-and-Plummeting?" she demanded as soon as her sister showed her face. "Don't think I haven't noticed."

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?" Solley glared at her.

"You've got the hots for her. I recognize that aChase Me, Charlie' look in your eyes."

"Rubbish. Where Gin Ito's concerned it's more like aKill Me, Charlie.'"

"You'd jump off that balcony yourself if you thought you'd land on her."

Solley groaned. "You are so off line about this."

"I am never off line about you, sister dear." Janie renewed her head-on a.s.sault. "I can read you like a book, and at the moment that book is a well thumbed copy of The Joy of a 61 a Lesbian s.e.x. You're harboring torrid thoughts for her, and if you want my opinion-"

"I don't," Solley cut in. "Trust me, I can see where you're going with this."

"Then admit it, you need to have a fl ing," Janie said briskly. "It's time to move on and have yourself a little fun.

You've been miserable for way too long. Years, in fact."

"That may be so, but a quick screw on the eve of my divorce is not going to help me one little bit. Dan may not give a fl ying f.u.c.k, but I do. And please, no more of your love advice. It stinks."

"If anyone deserves a fl ying f.u.c.k, it's you. And believe me, if anyone can give you one, it's a stuntwoman," Janie threw back. "You haven't been serviced in years. If you were a car you'd be illegal."

"Well, excuse me." Solley sprang up. "I have neither the wish or need for a f.u.c.k. Flying, stationary, or otherwise.

I'm here with my children for a family holiday of rest and recuperation, and that is all I need. That woman will be the death of us. Everything she touches turns to Neosporin."

Solley scowled before coming up with yet another defense.

"And I've heard of her reputation. The last thing I need is to be another notch on some super d.y.k.e's bedpost."

"That gossip about groupies and affairs with actresses is just industry spiel and tabloid c.r.a.p. Marsha says she likes you, and I agree. So go for it, Solley." Janie leaned forward, softening her voice. "Two can play Dan's game. Let her see that. Have a fl ing and be happy."

"You're wrong, so drop it. I don't think about Gin that way," Solley lied. "I think of her more as a land mine."

Janie merely wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Explosive, eh?"

"Oh, wake up and smell the java," Solley huffed back.

Aggravated, she stomped off, taking her coffee with her.

a 62 a "Oh, wake up and smell your knickers." Her sister's parting shot scorched her ears.

The lazy morning matured into a particularly hot afternoon and Solley slid into the veranda hammock, still bristling from her sister's insensitivity. Swaying gently in the breeze, observing the kids splashing in the surf with Nelson, she allowed the soft swing to soothe her frayed nerves. Gradually she drifted off to the lullaby of surf, gull song, and the happy voices of her children.

A fl ash of heat raced through her. It felt like a blaze of strong sunshine burning her up. She looked down past her marvelously fl at belly to fi nd its source. A dark head was buried between her thighs. A mouth sucked on her, the thick tongue occasionally breaking away to lap at her, encouraging her fl ow. And fl ow she did, sweet and moist. She was saturated.

Hot and fl uid. She was water.

Without warning, her mysterious lover's eyes opened and locked with hers. She found herself falling into the endless midnight of Gin's inky irises, drawn down into infi nite darkness. Deep bliss. She was melting away in surrender...

Solley started awake with a befuddled o.r.g.a.s.mic moan.

Blurry and blissed out, she blinked directly into Gin's curious gaze. She froze, trying to focus. What just happened? What had she done?

"Are you okay?" Gin was sitting on the nearby deck chair with a newspaper and cool drink, one eye on the playing children. "You were moaning a lot. I changed the parasol angle in case you were overheating. It's a really warm day."

Totally fl ustered, Solley sat up. She knew her face was scarlet. "What time is it?"

"You've been sleeping for nearly an hour." Gin smiled a 63 a across at her. "Are you sure you're all right? You look a little s.p.a.cey. Did you have a bad dream?" She sounded genuinely concerned.

Solley was speechless, jerked from the physical immediacy of her dream and rolling back down to earth on the soft breeze and the sound of Gin's voice. Her shorts were glued to her inner thighs. She needed to change her clothes.

"Still on for the boat trip?" Gin asked.

Solley searched her face but found no hidden intent; the question was innocent. Still dazed and disconcerted, she eased out of the hammock. "Yes. Do I have time for a quick shower?"

"Sure. The breeze is cooling now, so the wind on the water will be lovely. But bring a shirt, just in case."

"Okay." Solley brushed rapidly past Gin and practically ran from the deck.

What was wrong with her? It had to be hormones Yes, hormones. Even her dirtiest dreams could be explained in the light of her nonexistent s.e.x life and reawakening libido. She cursed her sister's subliminal manipulation. With Janie rushing her toward a fl ing, she now felt embarra.s.sed about the boat jaunt. And despite her physical urges, she was uncomfortable with the entire concept of s.e.x with another woman. It seemed she still had a period of adjustment to go through. It was true that she had a tentative attraction to Gin, but that was as far as it went. Solley was content just to feel attraction for another woman again, any woman. For too long that part of her had been frozen. She'd given all her love and devotion to her children, slowly and systematically closing down the pa.s.sion and desire her partner no longer wanted from her. It was strange; no, it was frankly terrifying, to feel that fl uttering in her stomach when Gin smiled at her, to watch her hand gestures while she talked, and to be unable to look away from her graceful, athletic body when she moved.

a 64 a So what, if Janie had a point? Solley couldn't see herself having a fl ing just for the short-lived satisfaction of s.e.x and maybe a trace of revenge. Dan had written her off, but a lithe, hot stuntwoman like Gin could have anyone. If she was interested in Solley, what would Dan think of that? Solley immediately dismissed the idea. She wasn't in high school anymore. Trying to make Dan jealous was stupid. If Dan cared, she wouldn't have hooked up with her latest trashy bimbo, one in a long line of "lingerie models." If lingerie was French for "cheap tramp,"

that is. Younger, thinner, and stupider, Trixie had Solley beat on so many levels, but being bitter wasn't going to resolve the current dilemma. She didn't want to sleep with Gin just to prove something to Dan, or herself.

As she reached her bedroom, she resolved to put Gin to the back of her mind, treat her as a friend and nothing more, and concentrate on the kids. It was their vacation, after all. Later, when her world was safe and ordered again, she could pull her Gin fantasy out and examine it like a holiday photograph.

Until then it would stay safely tucked away in her wallet.

Gin was right, it was much cooler on the water. As they bounced across the bay, skimming over the topaz-etched waves to Seal Rock on the far western edge of La Sirena Verde, Solley even managed not to think about the kids more than once or twice. Truth be told, she was fi nally relaxing into the idea of letting them go off without her. Janie and Marsha had taken them to the cheesecake store in town. The worst thing that could happen was a stomachache.

The visit to the seals was great fun. The smelly beasts twisted and glided and played, in the hope of being fed. Solley was disappointed that she hadn't thought to bring anything for them to eat, but Gin said, "If they get lazy and expect food a 65 a from every pa.s.sing tourist craft, they'll come in too close and get cut by the propellers."

They spent over half an hour idling, watching the young pups play and talking about Gin's work.

"Did you always want a big family?" Gin asked, after they'd been silent for a while.

"I guess I did," Solley said. "It's great being one of three sisters, and I didn't want Jed to be an only child. I had him from a heteros.e.xual relationship before I met Dan."

"So you two had the twins together?"

"Yes, we used a donor." Sensing an unasked question, Solley said, "Dan liked the idea of kids. The reality was less exciting."

"She's an idiot."

"Thank you, that's what I think, too. Unfortunately she's found another idiot. Younger, no kids, will never ruin her perfect body by having kids, but likes the idea of playing dollhouse with mine. So I'm about to start a very bitter custody battle. Dan wants the children fi fty percent of the time, but she's planning to move to the other side of the country. If she gets her way, the kids will be out there for half the year. It's stupid, disruptive, and impractical, but what does she care?"

"What will you do?"

"Well, I'll probably relocate. I can't have the kids split across an entire country, it'd never work. I work in human resources, part-time at the moment, but I should be able to pick up another admin job easily enough."

"But your family and friends are here. How can she be so selfi sh to you and the kids? They need their family, too."

Surprised by Gin's vehemence, Solley said, "Yes, they do. It's not easy having same-s.e.x parents. We have them in a liberal school, and we're not around bigoted people, but they a 66 a don't live in a bubble. They need the validation they get from family and the people closest to them. Dan just doesn't see it. She wants her new life along with the best bits of the old one."

"Discarding the diffi cult stuff?" Gin mused softly.

With a dry little laugh, Solley said, "It must be nice to be able to shed her old skin and crawl away, like the snake she is."

"I can see why you're so careful about their safety." Easing away from Seal Rock, avoiding its lethargic inhabitants, Gin gradually opened the throttle until they were heading out to sea again.

"Well, I'm the birth mother, so she'll have to get down and dirty to persuade a court to grant shared custody. But she has a killer attorney. That's why I'm freaking out."

"Does Dan really know what she's asking for, wanting custody for half the time?"

"Oh, she has no idea, and neither does that airhead she's s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g. Della will have them both catatonic within two weeks. It's almost worth letting Dan have her, just to see it happen. That would teach the b.i.t.c.hes a lesson."

Solley stole a sideways glance from behind her shades at the woman expertly maneuvering their power boat. Strong brown hands held the wheel. Sunlight molded the well-toned contours of shoulders and biceps. Gin's scarlet bikini, and the white shirt fl apping casually in the breeze, displayed her muscled yet feminine body.

Solley guarded her appreciative gaze. She was enjoying their outing so much she didn't want to unsettle the comfortable rapport between them. Still, there was no reason she couldn't fl ex a little oomph muscle. It's not like I'm tempting f.u.c.kicide or anything, just seeing if the ole girl's still got s.e.x appeal left.

a 67 a She lounged back, the warm wind whipping through her hair.

Gracefully, she extended her long tanned legs, her best a.s.set, and curved her bikinied body into a sensual stretch, together with a pretend yawn.

The boat bounced hard over a large wave, and Solley's a.s.s left the seat and came thumping back down with a decidedly uns.e.xy whack.

"Sorry, didn't see that one coming." Gin glanced at her apologetically. "It caught you good, huh?"