Falling For the Ghost of You.

By Nicole Christie.

Chapter 1.

"I can't believe you're still unpacking, Violet," Lauren says, shaking her head.

She's judging me from her lofty perch on my desk. I don't know if she realizes, but I'm pretty sure she's sitting on a Ho Ho I had left on there last night. Good news for her, though-I never got a chance to unwrap it.

My method of unpacking involves transferring my clothes from the suitcases lying on my bed to the big square hamper I had dragged in from my bathroom. Most of the clothes weren't dirty, but they all smelled like oregano for some reason. I glare at the growing pile in horror. I guess I know what I'm going to be doing all day.

To Lauren, I say, "Well, we just got back last night, and some of us aren't that a.n.a.l. I barely had the energy to shower. Besides, my mom talked my ear off all night about her new fiancee."

"Did they really meet in an elevator?"

"I know, it sounds so fake. Trapped for two hours when the power went out in her doctor's building."

Lauren arches a blonde eyebrow in that way that I wish I could copy. "Hmm. Have you met him yet?"

"No, we're meeting him for dinner tonight. Did I tell you he has a son? He'll be there, too."

"You're going to have a stepbrother." She smiles when I make a face at her. "I still can't believe your mom got engaged to someone she met in the two months that we were in Hawaii. That doesn't seem like her at all."

"I know," I agree, flopping down onto my bed. "But she says she fell in love with him in that elevator. I don't know. She's happy, that's all I care about. As long as he treats her good, I'll play nice."

Lauren seems to be impressed with my accommodating att.i.tude. Either that, or she's shocked. "Are you guys really moving in with him?"

"Yup," I say. "It's weird, but it's only for a year, then I'm off to college." I pause and roll over onto my stomach to look at her. "He moved here from L.A. He just bought a house in Emerald Point."

Her eyes widen. "He's that rich? Wow."

Emerald Point is the really fancy section of Hidden Cove. I've only been in that part of town once, for a sleepover at Summer Rosen's mansion. Her father owns two hotels in Vegas. Yeah, they have a theater room. And an indoor tennis court. Just to give you an idea.

Lauren and I are strictly lower middle cla.s.s girls. We live in the same apartment complex, which is fortunate for Lauren, since I drive her b.u.t.t to school every morning. We aren't exactly ghetto here, but we're more likely to be the maids, than to have them.

"You think the sn.o.bs who live there will be able to tell I don't belong in that neighborhood?" I ask, half-jokingly.

Lauren shrugs. "Maybe they'll think you're the really young trophy wife of an old perv. You've kind of got that look about you."

"Do I really?" I say, and present her with not one, but two upraised middle fingers.

She just laughs. "Does Matt even know you're moving?"

"Nope." I sit up, and rummage around in one of my suitcases until I find the small package I'm looking for. "We've hardly talked all summer. I'm meeting him at Taco Bill's in a couple of hours, so I guess I'll tell him then. Do you think he'll like the shark's tooth necklace I got him?"

"I can see him wearing it. He'll probably tell everyone he caught the shark, himself." Lauren shifts awkwardly on my desk. "What am I sitting on?"

"Ooh, you're right. And he'd say it in that fake accent he swears is Australian." I point at her, ignoring her question.

She removes the smashed up Ho Ho from under her rear and stares at it. "I'd better go. I have to pick up some stuff for dinner. I'm making sweet potato soup."

Lauren likes trying out new recipes. That's not always a good thing. "The twins won't eat it," I predict. Her little sisters were picky eaters, but what can you expect of pre-teens?

"Probably not." Lauren shrugs indifferently. She hops off my desk in a quick efficient move, "Let me know how it goes tonight."

"Sure," I say. "Or, you could come with."

"Not even if you paid me," she says over her shoulder as she practically runs out the door. "Text me!"

Shoot. I should have tricked her into saying yes. Lauren hates social situations more than I do, but if she accidentally agreed to go, she would have gone through with it. I know what I'm talking about, I've done it to her before.

Lauren and I met back in kindergarten. We sat next to each other in most of our cla.s.ses, but by the end of the first week, the teachers had us separated for talking too much. We had bonded over our mutual dislike of public speaking. We're both quiet and shy, sharing a love of reading and writing. When I first saw her, I knew we were going to be best friends. She had me at her pirate stickers collection. We've been attached at the hip ever since.

In sixth grade, I became convinced Lauren suffered from Asperger syndrome. She made me look it up, and to my disappointment, she only had two or three of the traits, and they weren't severe enough to qualify. Not that I wanted there to be something wrong with her, but the girl is even more socially dysfunctional than I am. It's weird, but that's one of the things I like best about her. Lauren doesn't give a d.a.m.n what anyone thinks of her, and she'll usually just say whatever's on her mind. Best of all, she never lies. Even when sometimes, you prefer she did.

I've tried to look at Lauren objectively, and I've decided that she's more cute than pretty, with her tiny build, huge brown eyes, and wispy blonde hair. She kind of reminds me of a fuzzy little kitten, the runt of the litter. The one who always has its back turned on everyone, with its tail curled protectively around its body.

In retaliation, Lauren always tells me I look like every guy's p.o.r.nographic fantasy. Since I've heard some version of this from not a few people when I lost all the weight, it irritates the c.r.a.p out of me.

I used to be fat. Really fat. I was an emotional eater. I mistook Twinkies for love. Common mistake. I blame it on my dad. When he left my mom for some woman he found on the internet, I stopped overeating. I'm not going to say that my overeating was entirely his fault. But it was.

My poor mom. She never really got over what that loser did to her (until now, that is). A few years after he left, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. What a horrible, horrible disease it is. It devastates the lives of the person who has it, as well as everyone who cares for her. My mom had to quit her job as a school counselor. She lost thirty pounds in two months, and when she started chemo, she lost most of her hair-including her eyelashes and eyebrows! She was so self-conscious about that, I remember. My pretty vivacious mother...she became this shrunken pain-filled shriveled thing I didn't recognize. A shadow who lived on the couch for almost a year, and needed help with the most basic of tasks.

It sounds weird, but the scariest thing for me was that she wouldn't tell me anything. She wouldn't admit to being in pain, or tell me just how bad her prognosis was. Had the cancer spread? What did the doctors think of her chances? She wouldn't say, insisting that she was fine and was feeling stronger-when clearly, she wasn't. And I was too much of a coward to come out and ask her, "Are you going to die?" I wanted to believe her, I wanted to pretend with her, but every night I lost sleep to check on her, and make sure she was still breathing. My secret fear was that I would wake up one morning and touch her cold lifeless body. No warning, no goodbyes.

It's hard to think about those days. I try to forget them, and it's almost easy to when I look at my mother now. Cheerful and pretty, with a head full of pale blonde hair and a smile full of love and rainbows. I try not to remember how ravaged by the disease she was just a couple of years ago, and I try not to think about how it could come back again at any time.

Wow, I really don't want to talk about that. She's doing so much better now. Mom couldn't return back to her job at the school, but she has a better set up now, maintaining her best friend Jane's "Healing Lotions" website-which she can do from home. So, yes, my mom's home all the time, and yes, I consider it a good thing.

So that's why I don't begrudge my mother finding herself a fiancee while I was away for the summer. h.e.l.l, I'm thrilled he's apparently loaded. If anyone deserves to be lavished with expensive gifts, it's Mom. I'll even call him Daddy if he keeps her happy.

No, I won't. That's just weird.

Chapter 2.

I have to meet Matt in less than an hour. What should I wear? Normally, I don't put too much thought into my outfit, being a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. But I haven't seen my boyfriend in two months, so I should make some kind of effort, right? I bought a shirt in Hawaii, a hot pink tee with a giant glittery Hibiscus flower on it. I should have tried it on before I bought it because, d.a.m.n, I did not realize it would make my b.o.o.bs look so huge and...bouncy.

Oh, who cares. I never show them off, and today is a special occasion. But if I wear a nice top, does that mean I can wear my grungy black shorts with the elastic waistband? I've been told before that I should never wear them out of the house, and that was by my own mother. Maybe she's right. I decide to go with my favorite pair of old jeans instead, and congratulate myself on the effort.

Aw, c.r.a.p, they're kind of tight. I blame it on working in my grandmother's bakery over the summer. I didn't even have to eat anything to gain weight-just breathing in that wonderful freshly baked pastries smell was enough to put on the pounds. But Lauren didn't gain any weight, and she was right there behind the counter with me, selling baked good for minimum wage. Must be nice to have a bird's metabolism.

I wonder what Matt will think of my new hair color. My long dark brown curls are now a golden brown, closer to my real hair color, which is blonde, like my mother's. I've always thought my light hair didn't match my naturally tan skin and almond-shaped eyes, so I've been dyeing it since I was fifteen. I feel like a brunette trapped in a blonde's body. Is that weird?

I've spent too much time worrying about my appearance, and now I'm going to be late. I grab my bag and dash out the door-but then I have to come back in for Matt's souvenir necklace-and also I decide to put my hair up in a clip, because I hate the weight of my heavy hair on my back on a hot day like today.

Wow, it's really hot. I hope the air conditioning in my old Toyota works today. It blows air, just not very cool air. I think I'd be better off rolling the windows down. Ha, good thing I put my hair up. I start the car and pull out of the carport in a hurry, eager to get some air moving around in the car's stiflingly hot interior.

Despite the brain melting heat, it's a nice day. The sky is a bright shade of blue, with fluffy cotton candy clouds drifting lazily around. I live in Hidden Cove, a small-ish coastal town in southern California. Because of the beautiful beaches and perfect weather, we're kind of considered a party town, and we seem to attract more than our fair share of drunk college kids. Now some people may think that makes Hidden Cove sound like a fun place to live, but not me. It gets really irritating. I hate being hit on by obnoxious frat boys who have vomit breath and grabby hands. And ladies, do not flash me your b.o.o.bs. I have a pair of my own, and I have absolutely no desire to see yours. Really, put some clothes on, girls.

As I'm speeding toward Taco Bill's, I feel excited b.u.t.terflies fluttering around in my stomach. I missed Matt! I didn't realize I did until just now. Isn't that weird? Okay, I sort of missed him. I think. But to be honest, I didn't really think about him, uh, at all when I was in Hawaii.

Matt and I have been together just over a year, but we've known each other since middle school, having shared several AP cla.s.ses together. I've always thought he was funny, cute, and smart, but we really bonded when we were partnered together for a history a.s.signment on the Hundred Years War. He impulsively kissed me during a study session, and it would have been a nice surprise had my mouth not been full of pizza at the time.

So the first kiss was kinda gross, but we improved after that. Kind of. The truth is...I don't like kissing! It's so messy, and awkward, and...I don't know! Smothering. I don't know if that's the right word. I just don't like kissing, okay? Ugh! Sorry, Matt. Not that I'd ever admit it to him.

Kissing aversions aside, I can't wait to see my boyfriend. As I park in front of the sombrero shaped Mexican restaurant, I suddenly feel self conscious and weirdly shy. What will he think of my hair? Will he notice the five pounds I've gained? I feel tired and jaded, like I've just come back from a war.

The parking lot is crowded at Taco Bill's, which I expected since it's lunchtime and just a few days before school starts up again. When I'm getting out of the car, I notice a bunch of tween girls standing in front of the restaurant, gawking at a sleek foreign-looking sports car. No, they're staring at the guy leaning against it.

Okay, wow. He just turned around, and I can't help the little gasp that escapes me. Um. Wow. This guy is incredibly gorgeous! No wonder those poor girls seem awestruck.

Tall and muscular, with a lean build and impressive broad shoulders, Mr. Gorgeous exudes s.e.x and danger-even from where I'm standing. He's turned sideways, so I can only see his profile, but what I can see is sculpted perfection. Short dark hair, carelessly tousled, an intense brow, the elegant sharp planes of his bone structure...wow, lips so clearly defined and sensual that I get embarra.s.sed just looking at them.

Mr. Gorgeous turns away again, breaking my l.u.s.t-filled trance, and the world abruptly tips back into perspective. Still, I can't look away-out of curiosity. Who is he? He looks a bit older than high school, and he's wearing a long-sleeved dress shirt, almost in defiance of the heat. A businessman? He's talking on his phone and seems oblivious of the attention he's getting, his sungla.s.ses covered eyes focused on the pa.s.sing cars zooming by in the street.

I shake my head slightly. It's not like me to ogle guys that are just standing there, minding their own business. Not that I've ever seen a guy this hot, like, ever. So I excuse myself, because someone who looks like that...how can you not stare? And drool. At least I'm not surrept.i.tiously taking pics of him with my phone like the junior misses are doing over there.

I put Hot Guy out of my head as I open the door to Taco Bill's. Ahh, the salsa and cooking ground beef hits me like a savory slap to the face. I look around the brightly colored restaurant and note that it is indeed crowded. d.a.m.n, looks like all the booths are taken. I wonder if Matt is here yet?

I exchange quick h.e.l.los with a few people from school while I look for my boyfriend. Some of the guys give me overly enthusiastic greetings, and I attribute this to the pink shirt. I shouldn't have worn it. I hate when people look at me, and I know they're looking at me because I see them out of the corner of my eye. I never know what to do with my hands when I'm the center of attention. I end up clasping them nervously in front of me. I know not to fold my arms over my chest because that just brings more interest to where I don't want it.

"Violet!"

I hear Matt's voice calling me. Relieved, I head toward the back of Taco Bill's, toward his voice. There he is, and yes, he has a booth!

"Hi," I say gratefully, sliding into the bench opposite of him.

Wait, should I have hugged him? I half stand uncertainly, but Matt makes no move towards me, so I just sit back down again.

He looks good, cuter than I remember. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder? Oh, look at that. He's wearing his holey pirate shirt and faded cargo shorts. I guess some of us didn't feel the need to dress up for our reunion.

Matt is no Mr. Gorgeous, but he's cute in his own normal boy way, with his wavy auburn hair, sparkling blue eyes, and laidback grin. Matt is one of those guys that everyone likes because he's so easygoing and funny, always ready with a joke and a smile.

He's not smiling now. "Wow, Violet, you look really great," he says, staring at my b.o.o.bs.

Huh. I bet he won't notice my hair color change. "Thanks," I say. I put his gift box on the table and reach for a menu. I always read the menu, though I don't know why. I order the same enchilada dish I do every time I come here. "Did you order yet?"

"Nah, I'm just going to have a c.o.ke." He gestures to the half empty drink in front of him. "Is that a present for me? Looks too small to be a hula girl," he jokes.

"I thought about getting you one of those things for your dashboard, but I thought it might distract too much from driving."

Something's not quite right here. There's a funny tension to Matt, and when he's not looking at my chest, he's looking out the window, or scanning the restaurant as if searching for someone.

"How was your summer?" I ask carefully.

He shrugs slightly and plays with the straw in his c.o.ke, stirring it around a little before taking a drink. "Same old thing. I was stuck here, and nothing much was going on. But what about you? You're the one that was in freaking Hawaii. How was it? I mean, you weren't stuck working in your grandma's bakery all summer, were you?"

It's my turn to shrug. "We went to the beach, did some hiking. It was fun, but we were mostly busy working. So nothing too exciting."

"Huh." He makes a funny chuckling sound and runs a hand through his wavy hair. "You didn't get together with some hot surfer dude, did you?"

I stare at him. He has a funny pained smirk on his face. A huge pit of dread opens up in my stomach. Oh, my G.o.d. He hooked up with some college s.k.a.n.k. Look at his face. The guilty sign is flashing in neon on his forehead.

"What's going on, Matt?" I say, and I'm fighting hard to make my voice stay casual and composed.

Matt fidgets in his seat and flicks a quick glance at my face. "What do you mean?"

I don't say anything for a moment. I have to work up the courage to ask this next question, because once it's out there, it will change everything, I just know it.

"Did you hook up with someone?"

Long silence. In that moment, my heart falls off a cliff because I know it's true. I don't even need to look into his guilty b.a.s.t.a.r.d eyes for confirmation. I can't breathe. I'm in shock. I can't believe this is happening. How could I not be prepared for something like this? When the mice are away, the cats will play, right? Did I get that backwards? Oh, who cares.

"It's not what you think." Matt suddenly rushes to fill the silence. "It's...let me explain..."

He reaches out to grab my hand, but I yank it away with a violence that startles the both of us. I'm shaking. I stare blindly out the window, willing myself not to break down and cry. Or punch him in the junk. I also want to stab that straw through his forehead. Maybe later.

"How did it happen?" I finally look at his cheating flushed face. "Who is she?"

"I..."

Matt trails off as his gaze moves past me to something behind me.

I turn to see what he's looking at. Rachel Ward, one of our friends, is slowly approaching our booth. She probably wants to just say hi and ask how my summer was. I like her well enough, but I want to scream at her to get the h.e.l.l away.

"Hi, V," Rachel says in a small voice. But her big hazel eyes are trained on Matt.

Oh. Duh.

I whip my head back and pin Matt with my evil glazed eyes. "What! Really?! You and Rachel?!"

To my complete and utter astonishment, that lying a.s.s slides over and beckons for Rachel to sit down next to him.

Are you kidding me?!