There are striking similarities between Linda Eastman and Yoko Ono, two strong women who now stride into the Beatles story, elbowing aside the loyal, sweet-natured Englishwomen John and Paul had been with for so long, and taking their places as consorts. Yoko was eight years older than Linda, considerably older than all four members of the Beatles, with a complex background. Born in j.a.pan in 1933, Yoko came to America as a girl, was educated in the USA and made the United States her permanent home, becoming almost as American as Linda herself, though Yoko never relinquished j.a.panese nationality. Like Linda's father, Yoko's daddy was a man of wealth, a financier who managed the Bank of Tokyo in New York after the war. The Ono family lived in Scarsdale, the same upstate town Linda grew up in. Even more remarkably, Linda and Yoko both attended, then dropped out of, Sarah Lawrence College. Both women then drifted into bohemian New York City, to the disapproval of their parents. As Linda became a Manhattan press photographer, with friends on the arts scene, Yoko became a conceptual artist in the city's Fluxus movement (artists who staged happenings, concerts and other free-form events). So Linda and Yoko were still swimming in the same pool. Furthermore, both were now divorcees with young daughters. Yoko married first a j.a.panese composer named Toshi Ichiyanagi; second, American film-maker Tony c.o.x, with whom she had a child, Kyoko, eight months younger than Linda's daughter Heather See.

In 1966 Yoko came to London and, like Linda, made a beeline for the Beatles, specifically Paul, coming to Cavendish Avenue to ask McCartney to donate Beatles sheet music as a birthday gift for her composer friend John Cage. Paul referred Yoko to John Lennon, whom she first met at the Indica Gallery in November when she staged an art show, Unfinished Paintings and Objects Unfinished Paintings and Objects. The work consisted of absurdist and humorous works in the tradition of Marcel Duchamp, including Ladder Piece. Ladder Piece. John gamely climbed a ladder to peer through a magnifying gla.s.s at a sign on the ceiling. It read 'YES'. John laughed. He was also amused by an apple Yoko had on sale for the mad price of 200. 'I thought, "f.u.c.k, I can make that. I can put an apple on a stand. I want more."' Yoko sent John an enigmatic little book she'd written ent.i.tled John gamely climbed a ladder to peer through a magnifying gla.s.s at a sign on the ceiling. It read 'YES'. John laughed. He was also amused by an apple Yoko had on sale for the mad price of 200. 'I thought, "f.u.c.k, I can make that. I can put an apple on a stand. I want more."' Yoko sent John an enigmatic little book she'd written ent.i.tled Grapefruit Grapefruit, in which were printed such gnomic sentences as 'Listen to the sound of the Earth turning'. John, with his weakness for twaddle, invited Yoko to lunch at Kenwood, after which she deluged him with invitations to her events, one of which he was persuaded to finance. John invited Yoko in return to a Beatles session, and made a clumsy initial pa.s.s, which she rebuffed. But when John went to Rishikesh, Yoko wrote to him regularly. Cynthia Lennon became sick of Yoko's missives and what she saw as the woman's 'determined pursuit' of her husband. Poor Cyn still loved John.

After India, Cynthia wanted to go to New York with John and Paul, but John wouldn't allow it, so she went instead on holiday to Greece with a group of friends including Pattie Harrison and Magic Alex, leaving four-year-old Julian with a babysitter. When John returned home from New York, and found he had Kenwood to himself briefly, he lost no time in asking Yoko over. So it was that Cynthia came home to find her husband and his j.a.panese lover sitting in bathrobes in her sunroom, having been up all night making music and making love. Shocked and confused, Cynthia blurted out that she was going for lunch. Would anybody like to join her? John and Yoko declined. 'The stupidity of that question has haunted me ever since,' says Cynthia, who fled by taxi.

A Beatle had fallen in love with a strong-minded divorcee of moneyed American background, not a cla.s.sical beauty, but a tough, worldly woman who would make a formidable life partner. That describes John Lennon and Yoko Ono as it does Paul McCartney and Linda Eastman. Two men who had been like brothers since school days were falling for almost identical women.

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Born in 1942, Paul (left) around the age of seven, with his mother Mary and younger brother Michael, born in 1944.

In the mid-1950s the McCartneys moved to 20 Forthlin Road in the Liverpool suburb of Allerton, a council or 'corpy' house where the family was very happy until Paul's mother fell ill with cancer.

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Paul was nine when he posed for this school picture. He remains recognisable as the confident, happy child he was at Joseph Williams Primary School in Liverpool.

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John Lennon (centre) aged 16 with his school skiffle band, the Quarry Men, playing at St Peter's Church Fete, Woolton, on 6 July 1957, the day he met Paul McCartney.

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This fascinating 1959 picture shows Paul and John as teenagers performing together at the Casbah, a youth club set up by Liverpool housewife Mona Best in the bas.e.m.e.nt of her home. Her son Pete became the Beatles' drummer.

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In 1960 the Beatles went to Hamburg, Germany, where they met new friends including Astrid Kirchherr, who took this iconic photograph of the band's first line-up. Left to right are Pete Best, George Harrison, John Lennon, Paul McCartney and Stuart Sutcliffe.

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The Beatles playing the Cavern, Liverpool, February 1961, between their first and second trip to Hamburg.

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Although he had a girlfriend at home, Paul spent much of his time in Hamburg with German barmaid Ruth Lallemann.

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A fussy young man with little experience of show business, Brian Epstein was running the family record shop in Liverpool when he became the Beatles' manager.

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In 1962 the Beatles, with their new drummer Ringo Starr, began recording with George Martin at EMI in London. Paul learned to trust the producer, whom he remained close to into his solo career.

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In the early days the Beatles were part of mainstream light entertainment, obliged to act the fool on TV and on stage. Here they are dressed up for the first of two runs of Beatles Christmas shows, London, December 1963.

The Beatles' first visit to the United States was a sensation. Here they are on the Ed Sullivan Show Ed Sullivan Show, February 1964.

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The Beatles' first feature film, A Hard Day's Night A Hard Day's Night (1964), was their best, with all the band members acquitting themselves reasonably well on screen. Here McCartney is seen with actor Wilfrid Brambell, who played his grandfather. (1964), was their best, with all the band members acquitting themselves reasonably well on screen. Here McCartney is seen with actor Wilfrid Brambell, who played his grandfather.

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Paul met the teenage actress Jane Asher in 1963. By 1965, when this picture was taken, he was lodging with her wealthy and sophisticated family in London's Wimpole Street.

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The Beatles at Shea Stadium, New York, on 15 August 1965. The band was playing the first ever stadium rock concert to an audience of 55,600 people.

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Paul and Jane Asher had an open relationship, with Paul seeing other women, including Maggie McGivern, who worked as a nanny for Marianne Faithfull. Paul is seen here in 1966 with Maggie as he accepts a light from mutual friend Barry Miles.

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Another attractive young woman linked with Paul was Marijke Koger of the hippie art group the Fool, which created the genie mural for the Apple shop.

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Paul is seen here with his father Jim outside the star's new London home, 7 Cavendish Avenue, a short walk from EMI's Abbey Road studios.

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Paul and Linda Eastman gaze into each other's eyes at a press reception for Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band at Brian Epstein's London home, May 1967. at Brian Epstein's London home, May 1967.

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The Beatles' concert on the roof of the Apple building on 30 January 1969 was their last public performance. Apple executive Peter Brown is seen (with beard) between Paul and John.

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Paul married Linda Eastman at Marylebone Register Office, London, on 12 March 1969, just before the Beatles recorded their last LP. It was to be a very successful marriage.

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As the Beatles fell apart, Paul and Linda retreated to their remote Scottish farm, High Park. They are seen here on the property in 1971, with their pet dog Martha.

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Visitors to Paul and Linda's Scottish farm were often surprised by how small and basic it was - just a little stone house with an iron roof. The location was, however, private and beautiful, with an ancient standing stone directly in front of the cottage.

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In 1971, Paul launched his new band, Wings, featuring (clockwise from top) guitarists Denny Laine and Henry McCullough, Paul and Linda and drummer Denny Seiwell.

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. Paul and Linda bought Waterfall, a rotunda hidden in woodland near the village of Peasmarsh, East Suss.e.x, as a second country retreat in 1973. They subsequently made the house their princ.i.p.al home.

12.

WEIRD VIBES.

THE BEATLES AT WAR.

Shortly after returning home from India, in May 1968, the Beatles convened at George Harrison's home in Esher to run through 23 new songs that became the basis of their next alb.u.m, The Beatles The Beatles, better known as the White Alb.u.m White Alb.u.m (and hereafter referred to as such) because it was packaged in a plain white sleeve. John brought the largest number of songs to the demo session including 'The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill', 'Dear Prudence', 'Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey', 'I'm So Tired', 'Julia', 'Revolution', 'Yer Blues' and 's.e.xy Sadie', the last being a swipe at the randy Maharishi. George's contributions were notably 'Piggies' and 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps', while Paul demonstrated 'Back in the USSR', 'Blackbird', 'Honey Pie', 'Junk,' 'Mother Nature's Son', 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da' and the delightfully silly 'Rocky Racc.o.o.n'. (and hereafter referred to as such) because it was packaged in a plain white sleeve. John brought the largest number of songs to the demo session including 'The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill', 'Dear Prudence', 'Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey', 'I'm So Tired', 'Julia', 'Revolution', 'Yer Blues' and 's.e.xy Sadie', the last being a swipe at the randy Maharishi. George's contributions were notably 'Piggies' and 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps', while Paul demonstrated 'Back in the USSR', 'Blackbird', 'Honey Pie', 'Junk,' 'Mother Nature's Son', 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da' and the delightfully silly 'Rocky Racc.o.o.n'.

Here then was the backbone of the only double studio alb.u.m the Beatles recorded, a relative rarity in the music industry at the time, with songs to spare. Moreover, here was a wide range of musical styles, from the country sound of 'Rocky Racc.o.o.n' via Paul's Beach Boys-on-the-Volga pastiche ('Back in the USSR') to the experimentation of 'Revolution 9', together with more traditional songs of love and regret, graced by some of the best lyrics the boys ever penned.

The White Alb.u.m White Alb.u.m is a boldly, unapologetically ambitious and arty record. Gone are the corny songs of Beatlemania. The Beatles were now men making mature, reflective music, the quant.i.ty and variety of which sets the is a boldly, unapologetically ambitious and arty record. Gone are the corny songs of Beatlemania. The Beatles were now men making mature, reflective music, the quant.i.ty and variety of which sets the White Alb.u.m White Alb.u.m apart as one of their greatest achievements. This important and welcome musical variety - the variety of a box of Good News chocolates, which George references on another of his songs, 'Savoy Truffle'- is partly a result of the fact the Beatles were no longer a harmonious team. They were increasingly at war with one another, often working individually on their own songs, sniping at each other and at odds with the studio staff who'd served them for years, which had an unexpectedly positive result in that the set-up changed; old faces left, new people and new studios were used. The format was shaken up, the Beatles getting away from making the self-consciously clever alb.u.ms of the mid-1960s, culminating in apart as one of their greatest achievements. This important and welcome musical variety - the variety of a box of Good News chocolates, which George references on another of his songs, 'Savoy Truffle'- is partly a result of the fact the Beatles were no longer a harmonious team. They were increasingly at war with one another, often working individually on their own songs, sniping at each other and at odds with the studio staff who'd served them for years, which had an unexpectedly positive result in that the set-up changed; old faces left, new people and new studios were used. The format was shaken up, the Beatles getting away from making the self-consciously clever alb.u.ms of the mid-1960s, culminating in Sgt. Pepper Sgt. Pepper, allowing themselves instead to spread out and do as they pleased, however wild the music sounded, and indeed the wilder the better. It is when the Beatles seem to go too far that the White Alb.u.m White Alb.u.m is most interesting. is most interesting.

In a way Yoko Ono is to be thanked for this shake-up in the Beatles' working methods, even if her presence ultimately proved toxic. Having usurped Cynthia and moved into Kenwood, Yoko went everywhere with John nowadays, including attending the opening of the Beatles' new King's Road tailoring shop on 23 May. It soon became clear Yoko was not a docile Beatles partner in the mould of Cyn, Mo and Pattie. Yoko was also unlike Jane Asher, who had a career of her own but was a.s.siduous in not getting mixed up in Paul's work. 'She was great because she didn't interfere with anything, she had her own life to lead,' Measles Bramwell says approvingly. In contrast Yoko interfered constantly.

When the band a.s.sembled in Studio Two at EMI to begin their new alb.u.m, on Thursday 30 May 1968, Paul, George and Ringo were flabbergasted to find Yoko sitting with John, apparently intending to stay there while they recorded. In the past the Beatles hadn't even liked Brian in the studio. Select friends were invited to watch sessions, it was true, and occasionally guests were asked to sing a backing vocal or shake a tambourine at a special event like Our World Our World, but the Beatles' day-to-day studio work was, in the union language of the day, a closed shop. Yoko broke the rules. She intruded, sitting with the boys among the mike stands and baffles, and when they began John's 'Revolution', a blues that referenced the revolutions and uprisings sweeping the world, from Mao Tse-tung's Cultural Revolution to the student protests in Paris, Yoko started contributing vocals - one couldn't say singing singing - rather she yelped, moaned and squawked along with her lover. - rather she yelped, moaned and squawked along with her lover.

John then decided he might get a better vocal if he lay down on the floor to sing this strange new song, to which he devoted the following two weeks. Ultimately, there were three versions of 'Revolution', or perhaps better to say variations on the theme: a blues crawl, 'Revolution 1', with s...o...b..-doo-wah s...o...b..-doo-wah backing vocals; a faster hard-rock version that would appear on the flip-side of the Beatles' next single; and the radically different 'Revolution 9', a sound collage in the backing vocals; a faster hard-rock version that would appear on the flip-side of the Beatles' next single; and the radically different 'Revolution 9', a sound collage in the musique concrete musique concrete style; that is music created by combining a variety of recorded sounds, as Stockhausen did in 1956 with style; that is music created by combining a variety of recorded sounds, as Stockhausen did in 1956 with Gesang der Junglinge Gesang der Junglinge. Although the form had been around for a decade, it was new to rock.

Then John suggested Yoko dub a backing vocal - instead of Paul. McCartney 'gave John a look of disbelief and then walked away in disgust', recalls studio engineer Geoff Emerick, who'd worked on every Beatles alb.u.m since Revolver Revolver, but wasn't enjoying this one. Before long, Yoko was in the control room, venting her opinion on what they'd recorded so far. 'Well, it's pretty good,' she told George Martin of one take of 'Revolution', 'but I think it should be played a bit faster.' A line had been crossed. John was allowing this strange little woman, with whom he'd become infatuated, to enter into and meddle with a band that, aside from small disagreements, had hitherto been four friends united against the world. It was a shocking breach of etiquette. 'It just spoiled everything,' laments Tony Bramwell, who blames Yoko ultimately for the break-up of the band. 'Yoko was the acerbation (sic) in the studio that caused the split between all of them. George called her the witch; Ringo hated her; Paul couldn't understand why somebody would bring their wife to work.'31 There was some s.e.xism in the att.i.tude to Yoko, even a touch of xenophobia. Unkind remarks were made about 'the j.a.p'. But one can see why Paul, George and Ringo were irritated. Yoko wasn't a musician, at least not as they were, but the latest flaky character to have taken John's fancy. At the same time, she was a catalyst for change. There was some s.e.xism in the att.i.tude to Yoko, even a touch of xenophobia. Unkind remarks were made about 'the j.a.p'. But one can see why Paul, George and Ringo were irritated. Yoko wasn't a musician, at least not as they were, but the latest flaky character to have taken John's fancy. At the same time, she was a catalyst for change.

When the Beatles were recording, they normally started with a John song, then a Paul song. This time they went straight from 'Revolution' (not that it was finished) to a Ringo song, 'Don't Pa.s.s Me By', which showed how strange things had become. Stranger followed. It was unheard of for band members to leave London while an alb.u.m was in production. Yet Paul, George and Ringo now left John and Yoko to fiddle with 'Revolution', and amused themselves elsewhere: George travelling to California to take part in a doc.u.mentary about Ravi Shankar, Ringo going with him for company; while Paul went up north to be best man at his brother's wedding.

Mike McCartney married his fiancee Angela Fishwick on Sat.u.r.day 7 June 1968 in North Wales, the service conducted by Buddy Bevan, the relation who'd married Jim and Ange four years earlier. Mike's show business career had taken off in recent months, the Scaffold scoring a novelty hit with 'Thank U Very Much', making Paul's brother a celebrity in his own right under the stage name of Mike McGear. Mike deported himself like an archetypal Sixties' dandy, coming to his wedding in a flamboyant white suit, black shirt and groovy white neckerchief. In contrast, Paul wore a conservative suit and tie to the wedding. Jane was also simply dressed. The couple posed obligingly for pictures with the bride and groom after the service, then everybody went back to Rembrandt to celebrate the union, Paul reading out the congratulatory telegrams. He and Jane seemed happy. 'They could not have been more lovey-dovey and it was in very private circ.u.mstances where they didn't have to put anything on for the press,' recalls Tony Barrow, who was present. Yet as soon as he got back to London, Paul took another woman to bed.

When Paul went on American television asking the public to send Apple their ideas, Francie Schwartz was one of those viewers who took the star at his word. A 24-year-old advertising agency worker from New York, Francie bought a plane ticket to London and presented herself at the Apple office with a movie script she wanted produced. She persuaded Tony Bramwell to let her see Paul. 'I only introduced them because she had this strange film idea which I thought would appeal to him,' recalls Bramwell. It wasn't actually that difficult to meet Paul in this way. Unlike his fellow Beatles, Paul came into the Apple office most days, and made the time to listen to at least some of the new ideas that came in. Anybody who was personable and persistent had a chance of having a word with the star. It helped if you were an attractive young woman. In fact, Francie was a rather plain woman, with prematurely grey hair. Yet Paul found her pretty enough. 'Am I impressing you now, with my feet up on this big desk?' he asked, as they flirted in his office.

Nothing happened between them until after Mike's wedding, when Jane had gone back to the Bristol Old Vic. With Jane out of the way, Paul came over to Francie's Chelsea flat, with Martha the dog, and jumped into bed. 'The sheepdog followed us into the bedroom to watch,' Francie wrote in her candid memoir, Body Count Body Count. She called Paul Mr Plump, for reasons unexplained. Likewise, he called her Clancy. It was clear to Clancy that, despite being engaged to be married, and putting on such a good show at his brother's wedding, Mr Plump and his fiancee were not getting along. Paul seemed to think Jane had a boyfriend in Bristol, and rather than try and win her back he chose to get even with her, allowing Francie to move into Cavendish with him while Jane was away, also getting his new girlfriend a job in the Apple press office. He even invited Francie along to EMI recording sessions - surely a touch of t.i.t for tat. While John and Yoko worked together on 'Revolution 9' in Studio Three at Abbey Road, Paul took Francie next door to watch him record 'Blackbird' in Studio Two. A greater contrast to 'Revolution 9' is hard to imagine than this pretty, guitar-picking tune, the melody based on a Bach bourree, while the lyric, recorded shortly after the a.s.sa.s.sination of Dr Martin Luther King Jr, was meant as a metaphor for the American Civil Rights struggle. 'As is often the case with my things, a veiling took place, so, rather than say "Black woman living in Little Rock" and be very specific, she became a bird, became symbolic ...'

Paul then left Francie and the difficult White Alb.u.m White Alb.u.m sessions to go on a business trip to Los Angeles with Apple staff men Ron Ka.s.s and Tony Bramwell, plus his school friend Ivan Vaughan. The threesome flew to LA via New York where, in the transit lounge at JFK, Paul called and left a message with Linda Eastman's answering service, saying he was on his way to the West Coast and could be reached at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Arriving in LA several hours later, Paul checked into the pink hotel on Sunset Boulevard, taking Bungalow Number Five, which was favoured by Howard Hughes, then hit the clubs. Word soon got around that Paul was in town. 'He pulled a few slappers [and] by the time we got back to the Beverly Hills Hotel there was queues around the block of girls trying to get in,' says Bramwell. sessions to go on a business trip to Los Angeles with Apple staff men Ron Ka.s.s and Tony Bramwell, plus his school friend Ivan Vaughan. The threesome flew to LA via New York where, in the transit lounge at JFK, Paul called and left a message with Linda Eastman's answering service, saying he was on his way to the West Coast and could be reached at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Arriving in LA several hours later, Paul checked into the pink hotel on Sunset Boulevard, taking Bungalow Number Five, which was favoured by Howard Hughes, then hit the clubs. Word soon got around that Paul was in town. 'He pulled a few slappers [and] by the time we got back to the Beverly Hills Hotel there was queues around the block of girls trying to get in,' says Bramwell.

The next day, after fooling about by the pool with the girls he'd met, Paul went to see Capitol Records chief Alan Livingston, then came back to change before his next engagement. 'And there was Linda!' recalls Bramwell. 'Sitting on the doorstep.' Having received Paul's message, Linda had taken the first available flight from New York to LA. 'So immediately Paul got me to clear away all the birds, and just locked himself in the room with her.' That night Paul attended to the main bit of business he had come to California for, which was making a personal appearance at a Capitol Records sales convention, screening a promotional movie about Apple, and telling the executives that future Beatles records would appear under the Apple label (though the band still remained tied to EMI). Having played the businessman, Paul returned to Linda at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

At this stage another girlfriend showed up. One of the local calls Paul had made when he arrived in Los Angeles was to actress Peggy Lipton, his bedfellow on two previous trips to LA. Seemingly, he was ringing around to see who was available. Despite the fact Peggy was now living with the record producer Lou Adler, she hopped in her car and sped over to the Beverly Hills Hotel, where she found a number of young women already waiting outside Bungalow Five. Measles told Peggy that Paul was sleeping - it was 4 o'clock in the morning - and that when he got up they were going out on a boat with the film director Mike Nichols. Peggy decided to wait. When Paul emerged from his room at 8:00 a.m., Peggy figured she was on for the boat trip. 'As I gathered my things, preparing to join him, I spotted a woman coming out of the bedroom in Paul's bungalow,' Peggy later wrote. 'Apparently, she had shown up before I arrived, and Paul, in his altered state, had forgotten I was on the way.' Peggy watched tearfully as Paul and Linda Eastman ran for a limousine that took them to the harbour. This was the end of Peggy and Paul.

Paul and Linda spent the day together on Mike Nichols's motorboat, the Quest Quest, drinking champagne, eating bacon sandwiches and canoodling like love birds. 'They were absolutely inseparable. It was like instant,' notes Bramwell. 'She was perfect for him: motherly ...' (Tony figured Paul had been looking for a mother subst.i.tute) '... big-breasted, and she had a je ne sais quoi. je ne sais quoi.' Like Paul, Linda was also a dedicated pot-head. She'd brought a bag of gra.s.s with her, which they dipped into, becoming closer as they got stoned, really close in the way John and Yoko were. 'We were all conscious of - and somewhat amazed by - the depth of feeling Paul obviously had for Linda,' adds Bramwell, noting that when they checked out of the Beverly Hills Hotel the next day Paul and Linda were 'like Siamese twins, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes all the way to the airport'.

Paul was flying to London, Linda to New York. Before her domestic flight, Linda waited with her lover in the international VIP lounge at LAX. The couple were startled by the sudden arrival of FBI agents. 'We're investigating a bomb scare on the flight to London; do you know anybody who might want to blow up the plane? ' an agent asked McCartney.

'It might be a Rolling Stones fan,' Paul joked. More likely a jealous boyfriend or husband. The Beatles always left a trail of cuckolds behind them. The FBI wanted to search their luggage, at which point Linda had the foresight to kick her bag, in which she had her marijuana, under a chair, then sauntered off to the domestic terminal to catch her own flight at the end of what she would later refer to nostalgically as their first 'dirty weekend' together.

When McCartney got home to Cavendish Avenue, he continued his affair with Francie Schwartz, who didn't rate him as a lover. Opining that Paul was basically lonely without Jane, whom he hadn't told about Francie, she wrote in her memoirs: He had his hang-ups, and I think he felt sometimes that he wasn't manly enough. His body was sweet, and beautiful ... one could be happy if one didn't demand too much, or even want too much. The relationship had begun on the "save me" lament, not on a rush of s.e.xual flashes ... He hadn't formally dumped Jane and so at first I was a secret. I stayed in the house for weeks, cleaning, reading, calling the dope dealer. I was to score for my old man. You'd think he could have taken care of it, but he didn't.

When Jane telephoned from Bristol 'he would get very uptight, very awkward and phony'. Apart from the sheepdog Martha, there was now a puppy in the house, Eddie, whom Paul had bought for Jane, plus five cats, the beginning of what became a menagerie of domestic animals, few of which seemed house-trained. 'I was constantly cleaning up s.h.i.t.'

While his domestic life descended into farce, Paul retained enough discipline to go into the EMI studios and Apple office most days, working on the new band alb.u.m and diverse Apple projects. He liked to be busy. One side-project was creating a theme tune for a television series named Thingumybob Thingumybob. Having dreamt up the tune, Paul decided it needed a bra.s.s band, so he called upon the Black d.y.k.e Mills Band, the most famous band of its kind in the world, originally comprised of employees of a Yorkshire worsted mill. The band's conductor, Geoffrey Brand, came into Apple to see Paul, whom he found sitting under a Liverpool Inst.i.tute school photo. Paul pointed out the little boys who were George Harrison, Neil Aspinall, brother Mike McCartney and himself. This trip down memory lane was interrupted by the telephone ringing. 'As soon as he started to talk the phone rang and it was someone from New York who'd been waiting to get to him for days and so he said, "I have to talk to this chap," and we started off again,' recalls Brand, 'and then it was somebody from Tokyo, you know.' Finally, Paul silenced the calls, picked up a guitar and played the tune to Thingumybob Thingumybob , humming it as well. Brand made a note on ma.n.u.script paper. Paul told him to take the little bit he'd demonstrated and extend it to fill three minutes as a score for the Black d.y.k.e Mills Band. Apple would probably put it out as a record, which meant he needed a B-side. 'I'll tell you what, and this is going to be a hit, we're doing a film called , humming it as well. Brand made a note on ma.n.u.script paper. Paul told him to take the little bit he'd demonstrated and extend it to fill three minutes as a score for the Black d.y.k.e Mills Band. Apple would probably put it out as a record, which meant he needed a B-side. 'I'll tell you what, and this is going to be a hit, we're doing a film called Yellow Submarine Yellow Submarine,' Paul told the conductor. 'Do an arrangement for "Yellow Submarine" as well. We'll put that on the back.'

A recording date for Thingumybob Thingumybob was arranged at the Victoria Hall, Saltaire, on Sunday 30 June 1968. Geoffrey Brand checked into the Victoria Hotel in nearby Bradford for the session, and Paul asked him to book an extra room. 'Paul came down to breakfast on the Sunday morning with his dog,' recalls the conductor. 'Martha sat next to Paul at the breakfast table and Paul ordered two cooked breakfasts, one of which he ate and the other he fed to Martha.' To get the sound he wanted on the recording Paul had the bra.s.s band perform outside the Victoria Hall, drawing a crowd of children whom he amused by playing a trumpet. When a cornet player asked to check a note, Paul said, 'It's no use asking me, I can't read music.' Paul was at his best at times like this, allowing ordinary people to share in and enjoy his celebrity, whilst his decision to make a record with a bra.s.s band, in the middle of the was arranged at the Victoria Hall, Saltaire, on Sunday 30 June 1968. Geoffrey Brand checked into the Victoria Hotel in nearby Bradford for the session, and Paul asked him to book an extra room. 'Paul came down to breakfast on the Sunday morning with his dog,' recalls the conductor. 'Martha sat next to Paul at the breakfast table and Paul ordered two cooked breakfasts, one of which he ate and the other he fed to Martha.' To get the sound he wanted on the recording Paul had the bra.s.s band perform outside the Victoria Hall, drawing a crowd of children whom he amused by playing a trumpet. When a cornet player asked to check a note, Paul said, 'It's no use asking me, I can't read music.' Paul was at his best at times like this, allowing ordinary people to share in and enjoy his celebrity, whilst his decision to make a record with a bra.s.s band, in the middle of the White Alb.u.m White Alb.u.m sessions, showed how rooted he remained in northern working-cla.s.s culture. sessions, showed how rooted he remained in northern working-cla.s.s culture.

Back in London, the Beatles were seriously getting on each others' nerves. When he finished 'Revolution 9', John asked Paul's opinion of the record, which is without doubt the most radical piece of music the Beatles ever released: an uncompromising musical collage, without coherent tune or intelligible lyric. 'Not bad,' replied Paul unenthusiastically.

'Not bad?' snapped Lennon. 'You have no idea what you're talking about ... This is the direction the Beatles should be going in from now on!'

Just as John had taken an inordinate amount of time on the various versions of 'Revolution', Paul was now driving everybody spare with 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da', not one of his best works, and one that John only reluctantly played along with, complaining that it was 'granny music s.h.i.t'. When, after several days' work, Paul announced that he wanted to start all over again, Lennon walked out of the studio, reappearing at the top of the stairs screaming: 'I AM f.u.c.kING STONED!' He descended, ranting that he f.u.c.king knew how the f.u.c.king song should f.u.c.king well go, sat at the piano and bashed out the now-familiar intro. Still Paul wasn't satisfied, and he decided, when Ritchie was out of the studio, to re-record the drums, which didn't do anything for Ritchie's ego. He was already feeling left out. George Harrison wasn't much happier, and the EMI staff felt demoralised working for bickering, demanding Beatles. Geoff Emerick woke up one morning and realised that, far from being a joy, as it had been, working as the Beatles' engineer was making him depressed. A few nights before, he'd been in the studio very late when the band came back from a club, intending to play through the night, as they liked to do, expecting EMI staff simply to be on hand to accommodate them. Rather than face the Beatles, Emerick hid behind a cupboard.

Now the usually unflappable George Martin got into an argument with Paul over 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da', as Emerick recalls in his memoir Here, There and Everywhere Here, There and Everywhere. 'Paul, can you try rephrasing the last line of each verse?' Martin asked from the lofty control room.

'If you think you can do it any better, why don't you f.u.c.king come down here and sing it yourself?' Paul retorted.

Gentleman George finally lost his temper. 'Then b.l.o.o.d.y sing it again!' he shouted down at McCartney. 'I give up. I just don't know any better how to help you.'

The next day Emerick resigned as the Beatles' engineer, refusing to work one more day with them. He was replaced by Ken Scott. George Martin went on three weeks' holiday, leaving his young a.s.sistant Chris Thomas to deal with the impossible b.a.s.t.a.r.ds the impossible b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, as the great producer sometimes called the Beatles under his breath.32 On the first day after George's departure, Paul walked into the studio and asked Thomas abruptly what he was doing there, as though n.o.body had told him Martin was going away. 'George told me to come down, didn't you know?' Thomas asked. On the first day after George's departure, Paul walked into the studio and asked Thomas abruptly what he was doing there, as though n.o.body had told him Martin was going away. 'George told me to come down, didn't you know?' Thomas asked.

'Oh well, if you want to produce us, fine, and if you don't, we'll just tell you to f.u.c.k off,' McCartney replied unpleasantly. Then he strode out. Despite this unpromising start, Chris Thomas stuck with the sessions and made an important contribution to the alb.u.m, forging a good enough relationship with Paul to work with him deep into his solo career.

The pressure was starting to tell on Paul, who let his frustrations out at Cavendish. 'If he wasn't in a good mood, he'd drink hideous Scotch- c.o.ke combinations, throw food at the dogs and cats, drop his clothes in a path to the bed, and ignore me completely,' Francie Schwartz would write, further claiming that there was a wild, rough-house element to their love-making. Sometimes Paul would grab Francie and pull her into the bath with him; they made love in the open at night on Primrose Hill; and she went down on Paul while he was driving around London, possibly the inspiration for Paul's 'Why Don't We Do It in the Road?' One night, Paul took Francie to a new club, Revolution, then stopped on the way home to pay a house call on another girlfriend, possibly Maggie McGivern, who says she was still seeing Paul at this time. Francie suffered the humiliation of waiting for Mr Plump while he did what he had to do. 'When he returned, about 15 minutes later, I was burning. "Why did you do that? Why the h.e.l.l couldn't you take me home first? " "I don't know," he answered, and I could tell he was a little sick inside about it, too.'

One morning, Paul and Francie were in bed together at Cavendish when there was a knock at the bedroom door. 'Who is it?' asked Paul, for there were always friends floating around the house.

'Jane,' replied his fiancee, who had returned to London to appear in a play.

Paul leapt out of bed, put on some clothes, and led Jane downstairs and into the garden. Francie came to the window to watch them. Paul yelled at Francie to get back inside. Then Jane left. A little later, Margaret Asher came to Cavendish and boxed up her daughter's belongings, leaving a note for Paul. The boy she had given a home to when he came down from Liverpool, fed and looked after as a mother would, had let her daughter down.

A couple of days after this the Beatles attended the London premiere of the Yellow Submarine Yellow Submarine film, which had turned out better than expected. Although the Beatles had little to do with the project, Heinz Edelmann and the TVC animators had captured the character of the band, their style and wit, as well as the feel of swinging London in exuberant Pop Art images that were attractive and amusing. The film was capped by a brief personal appearance by the boys introducing the final number, Paul's 'All Together Now', which proved a perfect ending. The premiere audience laughed and clapped and sang along, endorsing film, which had turned out better than expected. Although the Beatles had little to do with the project, Heinz Edelmann and the TVC animators had captured the character of the band, their style and wit, as well as the feel of swinging London in exuberant Pop Art images that were attractive and amusing. The film was capped by a brief personal appearance by the boys introducing the final number, Paul's 'All Together Now', which proved a perfect ending. The premiere audience laughed and clapped and sang along, endorsing Yellow Submarine Yellow Submarine as an instant cla.s.sic. as an instant cla.s.sic.

Beatles partners accompanied the boys to the Yellow Submarine Yellow Submarine premiere, including Yoko Ono, but there was no sign of Jane Asher on the red carpet. The reason emerged a few days later when, on Sat.u.r.day 21 July, the actress appeared on Simon Dee's BBC television show and told the presenter her engagement was off. 'Did you break it off?' Dee asked. premiere, including Yoko Ono, but there was no sign of Jane Asher on the red carpet. The reason emerged a few days later when, on Sat.u.r.day 21 July, the actress appeared on Simon Dee's BBC television show and told the presenter her engagement was off. 'Did you break it off?' Dee asked.

'I haven't broken it off, but it's finished,' Jane replied firmly, which was all she had to say on the matter, then and ever more.

The announcement caught almost everybody by surprise. 'It just seemed such a mistake!' laments Jann Haworth. 'What little I knew of them, it looked right, and they were really cut out to be together, and it seemed a real shame.' Taking a more masculine view, Tony Bramwell figured Paul simply got caught out. 'He was caught with his pants down with the horrible Francie. Brrr,' he shudders at the memory of the American, whom he did not like. 'She was horrible.' For his part, Paul seemed surprised by Jane's public announcement, which made him look foolish. He and Francie drove to Rembrandt, where he was obliged to face the press before retreating inside Dad's house in what his girlfriend terms 'a poisonous mood'.

Having vacated Kenwood in favour of Cynthia and Julian, John and Yoko moved into Cavendish with Paul and Francie. By Francie's account, she, John and Yoko got into the habit of watching TV in the evening while they ate opium cookies. Meanwhile, Paul continued to race between home, office, recording studio and night clubs, attending to band business and Apple projects. One morning, when John was going through his mail at Cavendish, he found a postcard addressed to him with the message, 'You and your j.a.p tart think you're hot s.h.i.t.' Paul admitted he'd sent the card for a joke. He had a strange habit of sending anonymous postcards, another of his victims being Derek Taylor, who ran the Apple press office with more profligacy than Paul liked. The card to John and Yoko may have been meant as a joke, but it made for an awkward atmosphere in the house. 'It was embarra.s.sing. The three of us swivelled around, staring at him. You could feel the pain in John,' Schwartz wrote of the moment Paul admitted to sending it. Not long afterwards, John and Yoko moved out of the house and into Ritchie's flat in Montagu Square, both drifting into heavier drug use, ultimately heroin, which further altered John's mood and appearance. Behind his pebbled spectacles, Lennon's face paled and seemingly attenuated, making his bony nose more prominent. The chameleon Beatle started to resemble Yoko's twin brother.

At this stage, Francie was given her marching orders from Cavendish. Her relationship with Paul had never been smooth. Friends recall McCartney throwing her out at least once before the final split, literally throwing her bag out the door on one occasion. Finally, she gave up and booked a ticket home to the United States. 'Don't cry. I'm a c.u.n.t,' McCartney told her, in their not-so-romantic farewell. At least one member of the Beatles organisation believes Paul used Francie as an excuse to end his relationship with Jane.