Olly: yes Madeline: Well, I don't. I definitely don't.

Madeline: Do you really steal silverware?

Olly: you should see my spoon collection

Monday, 8:07 P.M.

Olly: what'd you do to get so grounded?

Madeline: I'm not grounded and I don't want to talk about this.

Olly: does it involve a guy?

Olly: are you knocked up? do you have a boyfriend?

Madeline: Oh my G.o.d, you're insane! I'm not pregnant and I don't have a boyfriend! What kind of girl do you think I am?

Olly: a mysterious one Madeline: Have you spent all day thinking that I was pregnant?

Madeline: Have you?

Olly: it crossed my mind once or twice or fifteen times Madeline: Unbelievable.

Olly: don't you want to know if i have a girlfriend?

Madeline: No.

Tuesday, 8:18 P.M.

Madeline: Hi.

Olly: hey Madeline: I didn't know if you'd log on tonight. Are you OK?

Olly: fine Madeline: What happened? Why was he so angry?

Olly: i don't know what you're talking about Madeline: Your dad, Olly. Why was he so angry?

Olly: you've got your secrets. i've got mine Madeline: OK.

Olly: ok

Wednesday, 3:31 A.M.

Olly: couldn't sleep?

Madeline: No.

Olly: me too. fast five favorites movie food body-part cla.s.s Madeline: That's only four. Besides, it's too late for this. I can't think.

Olly: waiting Madeline: Pride and Prejudice-the BBC version, toast, hands, architecture.

Olly: jesus. is there a girl on this planet who doesn't love mr. darcy Madeline: All girls love Mr. Darcy?

Olly: are you kidding? even my sister loves darcy and she doesn't love anybody.

Madeline: She must love somebody. I'm sure she loves you.

Olly: what's so great about darcy?

Madeline: That is not a serious question.

Olly: he's a sn.o.b Madeline: But he overcomes it and eventually realizes that character matters more than cla.s.s! He's a man open to learning life's lessons! Also, he's completely gorgeous and n.o.ble and dark and brooding and poetic. Did I mention gorgeous? Also, he loves Elizabeth beyond all reason.

Olly: huh Madeline: Yeah.

Olly: my turn?

Madeline: Proceed.

Olly: G.o.dzilla, toast, eyes, math. wait, is the body part your favorite on yourself or on someone else?

Madeline: I don't know! It's your list.

Olly: o yeah. all right, i'm sticking with eyes Madeline: What color are your eyes?

Olly: blue Madeline: Be more specific, please.

Olly: jesus. girls. ocean blue Madeline: Atlantic or Pacific?

Olly: atlantic. What color are yours?

Madeline: Chocolate brown.

Olly: more specific please Madeline: 75% cacao b.u.t.ter dark chocolate brown.

Olly: hehe. nice.

Madeline: That was still only four favorites. We need one more.

Olly: i leave it to you Madeline: Form of poetry.

Olly: that a.s.sumes that I have one Madeline: You're not a heathen.

Olly: limericks Madeline: You are a heathen. I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

Olly: what's wrong with a good limerick?

Madeline: "Good limerick" is a contradiction in terms.

Olly: what's your favorite?

Madeline: Haiku.

Olly: haikus are awful. they're just less fun limericks Madeline: You've been downgraded from heathen to heretic.

Olly: noted Madeline: OK. I should be asleep.

Olly: ok me too.

Thursday, 8:00 P.M.

Madeline: I wouldn't have guessed that math was your favorite cla.s.s.

Olly: why not?

Madeline: I don't know. You climb buildings and leap over things. Most people are good with their bodies or their minds but not both.

Olly: is that a nice way of saying you think i'm dumb?

Madeline: No! I mean that ... I don't know what I mean.

Olly: you mean i'm too s.e.xy to be good at it. that's ok. i get that a lot Madeline: . . .

Olly: it just takes practice like anything else. i was a mathlete two high schools ago i'll have you know. got a probability and stats question? i'm your guy Madeline: No!

Olly: yes!

Madeline: So s.e.xy.

Olly: i sense insincerity Madeline: No!

Olly: yes!

Madeline: :) So are you going to be a Mathlete at SFV High?

Olly: probably not Olly: my dad made me quit. he wanted me to do something more manly like football Madeline: You play football?

Olly: no. he made me quit the mathletes, but he couldn't bully the coach into taking me midseason. he let it go eventually Madeline: What if he brings it up again now?

Olly: i'm a little harder to bully now than i was 2 years ago Olly: i'm meaner now. bigger too Madeline: You don't seem mean.

Olly: you don't know me that well yet

Friday, 3:03 A.M.

Madeline: You're awake again.

Olly: yeah Madeline: I know you don't want to talk about this.

Olly: and yet Madeline: I saw what happened today. Is your mom ok?

Olly: she's ok. it's not the first time. it's not the last time Madeline: Oh, Olly.

Olly: please don't oh olly me Olly: tell me something, anything. tell me something funny Madeline: OK. Why was the boy surprised to find celery growing out of his ears?

Olly: why?

Madeline: Because he'd planted corn!