Lorri nodded, having had some of the same thoughts, and then reached for the kitten. "This is the cutest cat I've ever seen."

J.

120.

"She's a little character too," Max told her. "She likes to drag things around. I think she was in the process of dragging Buddy's play sock across the kitchen when he barked at her. She shot under IIIthe refrigerator to hide. It took some work to get her out."

Ill"What did you have to do?"

Max looked as guilty as she felt.

"I coaxed her with a tiny piece of leftover turkey. Mother would have a fit if she knew."

"Mother's never had a fit in her life, but I'm sorry I missed this spectacle."

"Why don't you get up, and I'll make you some breakfast"

"Do I smell beef roast?"

"There's one in the oven."

"How close are we to lunch?"

"About an hour maybe."

"I'll just take a long shower and wait for lunch."

Max didn't look overly happy about this, so Lorri didn't move from the bed. m.u.f.fin had settled in to sleep, and Lorri absently wondered what her mother would think of that.

"What's the matter?" Lorri asked her sister.

"You don't eat enough. I worry about you"

"I'm not sick, Max, I just can't hold much these days."

"But what if lunch is longer than an hour away? You must be getting hungry."

"I'll have a snack," Lorri said to please her.

"Okay!" Max was on her feet before the word was fully out of her mouth.

"I'll grab a quick shower and be right down."

Max scooped the kitten off of her mother's sheets and inspected the area for hair. Their mother was not fond of pets in her bedroom.

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121.

"I think it's all right," Lorri said after looking around as well.

Max laughed a little and Lorri smiled. Two things they knew: Their grandfather liked male pets, and their mother was patient with the pets until they pa.s.sed the threshold of her room.

"It's good to have you back, Admiral," Pastor Higgins said. "We've missed you."

"Thank you, Pastor. I have to leave again this week, but I won't be gone long."

"Is there something we can do for Ruth and the girls?"

"I can't think of anything just now, but before I forget, I need to mention something to you. Not until I saw the bereavement announcement in the bulletin for the Murphy family did I realize we haven't even talked about a service for Josie. I need to mention that to Ruth before I leave, so she might be calling you about that."

,"Certainly. Anything we can do. I a.s.sume you would want to have it once you return?"

"Yes, that's what I was thinking."

The conversation between the men closed soon after that, and it wasn't long before Ruth and Dean were back in the car. Not wanting to bring it up at home just yet, Dean broached the subject of Josie's service the moment they pulled onto the street.

"I was'just thinking of that," Ruth admitted.

"And what were you thinking?"

"That we need to do something. I just don't know what."

"I haven't come up with any ideas either, but I will tell you that I want all four of us to agree. And I want it to wait until I get back so Lorri has more time to get on her feet."

i 122i fI122Lori Wick i fI"Oh, yes, thank you, Dean. You're certainly right. The girls and ilI can discuss it while you're gone, and then we'll all put our heads ill l'together as soon as you arrive hack."

The car stopped at a red light, and Dean turned to look at his daughter-in-law.

"Are you going to be all right?" "You mean while you're gone?" "Yes."

II"I don't plan to be overly busy, and I think that's best. Max goes to school in just a few weeks, and we'll just enjoy each other I'llfor the time being."

"That's a good plan. I wish I didn't have to go this soon, but it couldn't be helped."

"We understand, Dean. You know that." Dean nodded. They did understand. It was a way of life for all of them. He had not been required to move all over the countryside, but being away from home was too often the norm. He was up for retirement next year, and although there were aspects of military life he would miss, he was more than looking forward to it.

Wednesday arrived before anyone was ready. Dean had to be at the base at eight o'clock, and the family was up to see him off. Ruth didn't cry, but Lorri and Max grew very emotional when Dean bent to pet Buddy and stroke his ears.

"It'll go by fast," he told them, hugging each for a last time. "I'll be home and under foot before you know it."

He didn't linger, but mercifully, with one last wave, slipped into the car that had been sent and was whisked down the street.

123.

123.

The women stood on the front lawn for a while, no one speaking. They didn't dare look at Buddy, whose soft brown eyes had followed his master and still looked down the street. Ruth was the p first to go inside, and eventually her daughters followed.

Lorri had been home for little more than a week when she decided to visit Josie's room. Down the hall from her own, Josie's room was shut off from view by the door Max had dosed.

The room was stuffy and still when she opened the door, and for long moments she stood on the threshold and told herself to ; breathe*

Every inch of the room shouted Josie. Her favorite color, light peach, was everywhere. There were touches of green and tan, but peach was the predominant shade. Lorri walked in tentatively, her heart beating painfully against her ribs* and stood looking around.

The bulletin board over Josie's small desk still had things from high school The only change in the room was her mother's sewing machine. It was set up under the window, and no dust marked it. Surprised at the thought of her mother sewing in here recently, Lorri wondered if maybe she'd just come in to dust.

"I'm glad I found you in here," Ruth said from the doorway, her voice betraying no particular emotion. "Why don't you go to your closer and pick out a dress for church on Sunday. I'll alter it for you."

Lorri couldn't help but look down at her figure. She was still underweight, her clothes baggy and hanging on her.f?

% "I think it will be embarra.s.sing on Sunday."

"Why is that?"

124.

"I don't know. I just feel like I'll be something of a spectacle."

"I guess in a way you might be, but it won't last long. And I don't think anyone will press you about details, so don't worry on that."

"Mother?" Lorri had a sudden thought.

"Yes?"

"Why haven't you pressed me for details? Don't you want to know everything?"

"Of course I do, but I see no point in making you do something you don't want to do. When you're ready to talk, you will."

Lorri only nodded. There wasn't much she could say to that. She wasn't as ready to talk about Josie's death as she'd originally thought, and it was a relief to know that her mother was not waiting impatiently.

"Go get your dress," Ruth ordered gently, thinking they both needed? a change of subject.

Lorri did what she was told, grabbing the first dress she saw, her mind still very much on the conversation with her mother. She went back to the room and slipped into it, standing still while her mother tucked and pinned.

"Have you been doing much sewing?"

"Mostly repairs," she answered around the pin in her mouth. "Max wants some new skirts for school, but you know I won't start those until the night before she goes back."

Lorri laughed a little. When it came to sewing, her mother had always procrastinated. The things she repaired and made from scratch were beautiful, but she didn't enjoy it much and put it off for ages., "There," Ruth stepped back. "Look in the mirror and see what you think."

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125.

Lorri stepped to close the door and examine herself in the dress. A genuine smile came to her lips, and she turned back to her parent.

"I think you're a magician."

Ruth only smiled and helped Lorri ease the dress off without dislodging the pins or poking herself. Just minutes later she was seated, the machine flying at top speed.

"Have you been in here much?" Lorri asked from the bed.

"Define'much.'"

"I don't know. It feels empty, but it also feels like you've been sewing in here."

"Not sewing," Ruth answered, her eyes on the machine. "But after I got your grandfather's telegram, I slept in here a few nights."

The color drained from Lorri's face. For some reason this never occurred to her, and the thought was surprisingly painful.

"Don't think about it," Ruth said, having thrown a swift glance at her. "In fact, you'd probably better check on m.u.f.fin."

"All right. Did you want me to come back and try on the dress again?"

"I'll hang it in your room. Let me know if it needs anything else."

Lorri put her arms around her mother, suddenly desperate to touch her.

"I love you," Ruth whispered into her daughter's hair.

Lorri whispered it right back and slipped from the room.

Early the next morning, the house still quiet, Lorri sat in the H living room and dangled a piece of yarn in front of m.u.f.fin, 126.

waiting for her to notice. It didn't take long. Instantly on the attack, m.u.f.fin jumped after the yarn, tiny claws splayed, ready to take on the world. She rolled herself around the offending piece of string, dearly in charge, and wrestled it to the carpet. Lorri sat contentedly and watched her subdue it and then drag it around a bit.

When the kitten settled back against Lorri once again, she went back to thinking about the verses she'd just read in Deuteronomy, the ones where Moses asked the children of Israel to think about their G.o.d. She reread the verses she'd marked in her Bible one more time.

O Lord G.o.d, thou hast begun to show thy servant thy greatness, and thy mighty hand. For what G.o.d is there in heaven or in earth, who can do according to thy works, and according to thy might?... For what nation is there so great, who hath G.o.d as near to them, as the Lord our G.o.d is in all things that we call upon him for?

Lord's heart became quiet within her. She was not of the nation of Israel, but she knew G.o.d had chosen to be near her as well. Not for a moment did she doubt this, but the days ahead were sure to be a test. For this reason, Lorri tried to memorize the last verse, knowing she would need to be reminded in the very near future.

"A picnic?" Ruth questioned her youngest daughter during breakfast on Sat.u.r.day, no excitement in her face. "Today?" "Yes, at the beach! It's so hot, and you know we'll have fun." "Along with the 10,000 other people who will be there." Ruth's voice was dry.

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127.

"We can go to Sand Hill Beach. It's never as crowded." Ruth was more than a little skeptical, but Max's face never lost hope. Ruth looked at her older daughter, who only smiled, her brows raised in amus.e.m.e.nt. "Did you put her up to this?"

; "No"

; ""You're sure?"

Lorri only laughed. She loved the coast, and everyone knew it. What they didn't know is how swiftly her mind went back to a couple of small sc.r.a.ps of beach in the middle of the Pacific. First the one where the plane crashed, and then the island where she was confronted by rude sailors. The memory of that time was all at once surreal and frightening.

"Are you all right, Raine?" Max was the one to notice.

"Yes," Lorri tried to smile. "Just thinking of something."