Every Man in His Humour - Part 7
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Part 7

MAT. I will speak to him.

BOB. Speak to him? away, by the life of Pharaoh, you shall not, you shall not do him that grace: the time of day to you, gentlemen: is Signior Prospero stirring?

GIU. How then? what should he do?

BOB. Signior Th.o.r.ello, is he within, sir?

THO. He came not to his lodging to-night, sir, I a.s.sure you.

GIU. Why, do you hear? you.

BOB. This gentleman hath satisfied me, I'll talk to no Scavenger.

GIU. How, Scavenger? stay, sir, stay.

[EXEUNT.]

THO. Nay, brother Giuliano.

GIU. 'Sblood, stand you away, an you love me.

THO. You shall not follow him now, I pray you, Good faith, you shall not.

GIU. Ha! Scavenger! well, go to, I say little, but, by this good day, (G.o.d forgive me I should swear) if I put it up so, say I am the rankest -- that ever pist. 'Sblood, an I swallow this, I'll ne'er draw my sword in the sight of man again while I live; I'll sit in a barn with Madge-owlet first. Scavenger! 'Heart, and I'll go near to fill that huge tumbrel slop of yours with somewhat, as I have good luck, your Garagantua breech cannot carry it away so.

THO. Oh, do not fret yourself thus, never think on't.

GIU. These are my brother's consorts, these, these are his Comrades, his walking mates, he's a gallant, a Cavaliero too, right hangman cut. G.o.d let me not live, an I could not find in my heart to swinge the whole nest of them, one after another, and begin with him first, I am grieved it should be said he is my brother, and take these courses, well, he shall hear on't, and that tightly too, an I live, i'faith.

THO. But, brother, let your apprehension (then) Run in an easy current, not transported With heady rashness, or devouring choler, And rather carry a persuading spirit, Whose powers will pierce more gently; and allure Th' imperfect thoughts you labour to reclaim, To a more sudden and resolved a.s.sent.

GIU. Ay, ay, let me alone for that, I warrant you.

[BELL RINGS.]

THO. How now! oh, the bell rings to breakfast.

Brother Giuliano, I pray you go in and bear my wife company: I'll but give order to my servants for the dispatch of some business, and come to you presently.

[EXIT GIU., ENTER COB.]

What, Cob! our maids will have you by the back (i'faith) For coming so late this morning.

COB. Perhaps so, sir, take heed somebody have not them by the belly for walking so late in the evening.

[EXIT.]

THO. Now (in good faith) my mind is somewhat eased, Though not reposed in that security As I could wish; well, I must be content, Howe'er I set a face on't to the world, Would I had lost this finger at a vent, So Prospero had ne'er lodged in my house, Why't cannot be, where there is such resort Of wanton gallants, and young revellers, That any woman should be honest long.

Is't like, that factious beauty will preserve The sovereign state of chast.i.ty unscarr'd, When such strong motives muster, and make head Against her single peace? no, no: beware When mutual pleasure sways the appet.i.te, And spirits of one kind and quality, Do meet to parley in the pride of blood.

Well, (to be plain) if I but thought the time Had answer'd their affections, all the world Should not persuade me, but I were a cuckold: Marry, I hope they have not got that start.

For opportunity hath balk'd them yet, And shall do still, while I have eyes and ears To attend the imposition of my heart: My presence shall be as an iron bar, 'Twixt the conspiring motions of desire, Yea, every look or glance mine eye objects, Shall check occasion, as one doth his slave, When he forgets the limits of prescription.

[ENTER BIANCHA WITH HESPERIDA.]

BIA. Sister Hesperida, I pray you fetch down the rose-water above in the closet: Sweet-heart, will you come in to breakfast?

THO. An she have overheard me now?

[EXIT HESPERIDA.]

BIA. I pray thee, (good Muss) we stay for you.

THO. By Christ, I would not for a thousand crowns.

BIA. What ail you, sweet-heart? are you not well? speak, good Muss.

THO. Troth, my head aches extremely on a sudden.

BIA. Oh Jesu!

THO. How now! what!

BIA. Good Lord, how it burns! Muss, keep you warm; good truth, it is this new disease, there's a number are troubled withall for G.o.d's sake, sweet-heart, come in out of the air.

THO. How simple, and how subtle are her answers!

A new disease, and many troubled with it.

Why true, she heard me all the world to nothing.

BIA. I pray thee, good sweet-heart, come in; the air will do you harm, in troth.

THO. I'll come to you presently, it will away, I hope.

BIA. Pray G.o.d it do.

[EXIT.]

THO. A new disease! I know not, new or old, But it may well be call'd poor mortals' Plague; For like a pestilence it doth infect The houses of the brain: first it begins Solely to work upon the phantasy, Filling her seat with such pestiferous air, As soon corrupts the judgment, and from thence, Sends like contagion to the memory, Still each of other catching the infection, Which as a searching vapour spreads itself Confusedly through every sensive part, Till not a thought or motion in the mind Be free from the black poison of suspect.

Ah, but what error is it to know this, And want the free election of the soul In such extremes! well, I will once more strive (Even in despite of h.e.l.l) myself to be, And shake this fever off that thus shakes me.

[EXIT.]

ACT II.

SCENE I.

ENTER MUSCO, DISGUISED LIKE A SOLDIER.

MUS. 'Sblood, I cannot choose but laugh to see myself translated thus, from a poor creature to a creator; for now must I create an intolerable sort of lies, or else my profession loses his grace, and yet the lie to a man of my coat is as ominous as the Fico, oh, sir, it holds for good policy to have that outwardly in vilest estimation, that inwardly is most dear to us: So much for my borrowed shape. Well, the troth is, my master intends to follow his son dry-foot to Florence, this morning: now I, knowing of this conspiracy, and the rather to insinuate with my young master, (for so must we that are blue waiters, or men of service do, or else perhaps we may wear motley at the year's end, and who wears motley you know:) I have got me afore in this disguise, determining here to lie in ambuscado, and intercept him in the midway; if I can but get his cloak, his purse, his hat, nay, any thing so I can stay his journey, Rex Regum, I am made for ever, i'faith: well, now must I practise to get the true garb of one of these Lance-knights; my arm here, and my -- G.o.d's so, young master and his cousin.