Audrey has finally shown up and the way she is acting should be laughable. But everyone is lapping it up. I left the table because I couldn't sit still with all the bulls.h.i.t flying around.

"These are some serious allegations, Mr. Eversea. Would you like to comment?" Reasonable Andrew asks.

What I'd like is to shower, shave, sleep for forty-eight hours, and wake up in a parallel universe. A universe where I was supposed to wake up and see Keri Ann Butler lying next to me and Spanish moss swaying outside the window.

"Well, obviously, none of it's true." Sheila jumps in. "Ms. Lane is a little confused by the sequence of events. Those pictures were taken after Ms. Lane's affair. But, as we all know, that's probably neither here nor there as far as the public is concerned. As for the a.s.sault, Mr. Eversea did, in fact, hit someone in Savannah, Georgia. But he is not, nor would he ever be, a physical threat to Ms. Lane."

It's a good thing the California coast is beautiful because there is nothing redeeming about the ugliness of the city I'm existing in right now. I turn around and put my back to the window.

"Mr. Eversea, your statement says you punched someone two months ago, and yet you have a bandaged hand. We will need a release from that individual in Savannah stating he waives the right to press future charges. But Ms. Lane's statement says that during a disagreement eight days ago, you expressed rage and punched a wall so hard that you, obviously, required medical attention." He looks meaningfully at my hand. "This doesn't sound like Ms. Lane can be a.s.sured you pose no physical threat to her, and frankly, this is worrisome for your future dealings with Peak Entertainment in general."

My shoulders are so tense, I'm in danger of going into a spasm. "Well, Andrew ..." I face the window again and address the group behind me whose reflection is super-imposed on the grey city haze. "In the ten minutes preceding the point where I punched my wall in my house, I'd been informed that Ms. Lane, with guidance from my ex-agent, had fabricated a pregnancy. I'd just spent two months believing I was going to be a father."

"I appreciate the surprise of that, Mr. Eversea, if it was indeed the case, but Ms. Lane claims it was not a fabrication and that she lost the baby."

"I know what she's claiming. We all do. You all have both our statements written out in front of you. And you're clearly of the impression that she's telling the truth and I'm lying. And frankly? I don't give a s.h.i.t. What I would like to know is what you'd like me to do to get past this point. How do we get to a point where I don't have to interact with Ms. Lane in any further capacity, personally or professionally? Ever." I hear a shocked gasp from Audrey's direction but refuse to look at her.

"Well, obviously, we have a duty to protect the brand we have created with the Warriors of Erath franchise. As per your contract and our normal procedure, the relationships created as part of the brand should continue at least six months beyond the last project. As it stands, the brand took a rather large hit with the actions of Ms. Lane. In order to overcome that, we either need you all to continue being seen together-"

"No." It's out my mouth before I notice.

"Unacceptable," Sheila says at the same time.

"Let me finish," Reasonable Andrew says calmly. "The alternative is, since that seems likely to cause more harm than good at this point," he looks pointedly at Audrey and then at me. G.o.d, I feel like I'm eleven. "We let the relationship end naturally, but to protect the public perception of both parties, neither can be seen to have a relationship for a period of time."

For a moment, I regret not having my agent, a legal representative, in the room with me. But Sheila has danced enough of these proms to steer me right. I see her thinking hard.

"No. That still leaves everyone remembering what I did. That's not fair!" Audrey pouts.

"Well, the fact remains, Ms. Lane, you did violate the contract first." Reasonable Andrew is not such a bad guy after all. He obviously doesn't believe Audrey's claim that my relationship with "the girl in the picture" drove Audrey to do the same.

I fold my arms and look over at Audrey in detail for the first time since she walked in. I honestly feel like the last three years have been a dream. A different Audrey. This Audrey's a stranger.

Dropping her eyes from me, nervously, she confers quietly with her agent and her publicist by means of some scribbled notes back and forth. Then she vehemently shakes her head. "I'm scared of him!" she bursts out, and her agent almost rolls his eyes before he catches himself.

Now I really do feel like smiling. I don't, of course. There's nothing funny about what's going on here.

"Okay," says Andrew. "I understand if you have a legitimate safety concern, we can address that issue in a moment. But first, the contract between you two is easily amended. As of today your relationship, as encouraged and endorsed by Peak Entertainment, is done. We had an earlier meeting to address some of our available options. Moving forward, as long as you both are under the time line from the original contract, we can amend the relationship portion, and Peak will adopt the position that we have no position on whether you are romantically involved or not."

A small drop of tension slowly seeps from my shoulders.

Audrey looks spitting mad.

Andrew looks to Duane, who nods. "So given that we'd like to protect both of your reputations, and by extension the brand of the Warriors of Erath franchise, Ms. Lane will not make any accusations of infidelity toward Mr. Eversea. And in return, Mr. Eversea will not enter into any other relationship for the remainder of the contract term."

s.h.i.t.

My mind is churning. No relationships for the rest of the contract. That's at least four or five months.

f.u.c.k.

Unreasonable Andrew looks at both of us, in turn, for a reaction to his proclamation that neither of us can date. At all.

I can see Audrey is bristling, but she's also quietly smug at winning that round.

No relationships, means no relationships. It means, really and truly, any idea of going back to Butler Cove and figuring things out with Keri Ann may be impossible in the near-term. But surely I can at least go there. Briefly. It doesn't need to be common knowledge. I'll have to do a better job at hiding it.

Audrey is clearly on my wavelength. "Wait," she says, her eyes glinting. I tense further. "If Jack is photographed with any girl on more than one occasion, then I will consider, and Peak should too, that he hasn't held up his end of this deal."

And I'm sure she'll make sure there are photographs.

"That sounds tricky. That could easily occur incidentally, too much room for error for us to add that into a contract."

Thank you, Andrew.

"Fine." Audrey sticks her chin up. "Then he has to stay away from Keri Ann Butler, specifically."

G.o.d, she's a b.i.t.c.h. I try to stop my jaw dropping. "Wow, Audrey, I never knew you to be so threatened." I pause and swallow. "Don't worry, she's more of a person than you or I put together. You should congratulate yourself, I'm not sure she'd have me anyway after the stunt you engineered." My chest tightens with rage, and I'm curling and uncurling my fingers under the table.

"That shouldn't be a problem," Sheila interjects, shooting me a warning look and then looking at Andrew. "But Mr. Eversea would like any and all copies of the photographs that Ms. Lane ordered taken without Mr. Eversea's permission that include both himself and Keri Ann Butler. I'm sure you'll agree that in accordance with this amended contract and to protect the brand, the new terms should specify that they should be removed from potential circulation?"

Andrew is nodding, I think, but I barely notice. It's sinking in that Keri Ann and I are probably done. Done before we got a second chance. Wow. There's nothing like being told you can't have something, to really bring the loss home. I release a long breath from my crushed chest, and I'm almost surprised when I don't hear it whistling through the cracks. Getting to my feet again, I pace back to the window. This room is as suffocating as the dense smog outside.

"I think that would be fair," Andrew says.

"How is that fair?" Audrey gasps. "That's my leverage. What about ... my safety?" she corrects herself, quickly.

I glance back at her with narrowed eyes. She really is a piece of work.

Seriously? No one in the room believes her, but she's still beating this horse.

"Audrey-" Her agent admonishes her.

"Yes," Andrew cuts back in, "we can address your safety issue. We'd like to offer to move Mr. Eversea out of the country for the remainder of the time on the contract. We have a project we could use his help on, in England actually, which we will discuss with him offline after the close of this meeting."

I turn my head to look at him, gritting my teeth, trying hard to remain impa.s.sive. Every d.a.m.n time someone opens his or her mouth, the hole I'm in gets deeper. I vow to myself then and there that I will never get into a situation where someone can control me like this ever again. It's a promise that burns through my gut like a red-hot cattle poker. Never.

Audrey casts her eyes about. I guess she's trying to work out if I'm being given an advantage. Another project. If she's being pa.s.sed over? G.o.d knows.

"Do we have an agreement?" Andrew asks.

I turn around and see Sheila give me an almost imperceptible nod. "Yes, fine with me," I say to Andrew, and then nod at Duane and look at everyone. "Whatever we need to do to move past this quickly and efficiently is fine by me."

"Well, it's not fine with me!" Audrey bursts out, childishly. She's gotten what she wanted, me not to have anything to do with Keri Ann for as long as it'll probably take Keri Ann to never want anything to do with me anyway. What more can Audrey possibly want?

"Why do I have to look like the evil one in all of this? If we break up now, people will still remember that terrible mistake I made. If Jack is all goodie-two-shoes for the next few months, I'll still look bad. How can that be good for the Erath brand?" She points at me then. "And does no one care that I lost a baby because of him?"

My mind churns. What the h.e.l.l? "Audrey."

She looks at me, stonily.

I lock eyes with her and will myself to be able to see what's going on in that messed up head of hers. "If you truly lost the baby, I am sorry. Believe me. I'm grieving right along with you. It was my baby, too. But I don't even know if I have anything real to mourn. And that kills me. I'm sure making me suffer on this topic satisfies you for some G.o.d-forsaken reason. I've already asked you, no, pleaded with you not to control the rest of my life, too, but you seem to have accomplished that as well. Congratulations," I spit out. "But Jesus, Audrey. You can't have it both ways. You either don't want me seen with anyone else, or you do-which is it?"

I have a vague idea based on Keri Ann's sculpture that she is pretty f.u.c.king p.i.s.sed at me for the way I left. The last thing I plan on doing is rubbing her face in it by being seen with anyone else.

Audrey narrows her eyes and the cunning I see there makes me realize she has probably planned her final act as the scorned woman. And that is to hurt Keri Ann, too. Because clearly she wasn't hurt enough.

"Actually," It's Audrey's publicist who speaks, who looks like it's her time to shine. "I know we said no relationships, but I think it would be better to level the balance here and have Mr. Eversea seen with one or two other potential love interests. That way," she looks around the table with gravity, "people can feel a small modic.u.m of sympathy for my client as well." She pauses for effect, and I see the net that was cleverly cast, closing around me. "The only other way to garner public sympathy for Ms. Lane at this point is to talk about the failed pregnancy."

"f.u.c.k, no!" I explode, causing everyone in the room to jump. Anger and panic at this idea washes through me in physical waves. It's painful. Or maybe I'm not breathing. Either way, I feel lightheaded. I have a mental image of me suddenly, bone-crackingly, transforming into a ma.s.sive tiger and eating my way out of this cage of a.s.sholes. Not Sheila, she can live. s.h.i.t, I need to calm down. Keep my head together.

Sheila nods and says, "We have an agreement. Let's not make it anymore complicated. No pregnancy mentioned at all in return for a few staged paparazzi photo ops. No perceived long-term relationships for the remainder of the contract term for either party. And we get the existing pictures. Let's wrap this up. Mr. Eversea has another appointment with his new representation who was unable to make this meeting, but whom I will inform of all the decisions made today. We'll be back by to sign the amendment and hear about your plans for the project in England."

I'm unaware of the meeting she's referring to, but I need an agent, like yesterday. Especially, if I'm about to sign on to another project with Peak. Thank G.o.d Sheila is looking out for me. I pull my chair up to the table and lay my head down on my arms. I am beyond exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and because I haven't slept more than three hours in the last thirty. The sounds of everyone filing out washes over me.

I am so relieved this meeting is over, even though I'm left for dead on the battlefield. All I won was getting Audrey removed from my life.

I lost everything else.

"Jesus, Jack. Why didn't you tell me?" Devon is staring at me hard when I open my eyes. I'd been lying there on his couch like I was in a d.a.m.n therapist's office, letting the last five months of my life pour out.

"Tell you what?" I ask. "That I was a coward, and I should have fought harder? That I was too tired and depressed to really fight? That I was so relieved to get Audrey out of my life, that I let the person I really wanted to be with slip through my fingers?" I sit up. "Because I didn't want to face the rejection? Because I've gotten what I want for most of my life, but I chose not to fight for Keri Ann because deep down I thought I would lose?" The truth hits me hard.

Devon is quiet a few moments. "Is that truly what you think?"

I pick up the water, wishing it were whisky and down it. "I don't know. The reality is that Keri Ann is as far from the kind of lives we lead as one could possibly get. This bulls.h.i.t is my life. I can't see it changing in the foreseeable future. Maybe I don't want it to. I enjoy acting. I don't enjoy the BS that comes with it, but it's the price, right? Is there really a place for her in that? A place she would want? Deep down inside me I think that if she had the choice, she would choose not to be in that place."

"You think she'd choose not to a famous guy's arm-candy over being her own person?"

"Yeah."

"I think you're right. It's going to be d.a.m.n hard to avoid that."

"Aren't you supposed to be helping me?"

"I am. That part is impossible and will take time. But it sounds like what she said was she doesn't trust you and doesn't want to risk you flaking out again. Based on what she knows and what the whole world got to see you get up to in England, I don't blame her."

"Did I?"

"Did you what?

"Flake out on her. Before? Could I have found a way around the contract?"

"Honestly, England aside, you probably could have handled it better, and told Keri Ann what was going on, but I know Peak, and they don't mess around. What with the Internet and social media, their movies are mini-universes with interactive experiences, and that means the cast is part of that world too for however long they deem necessary. Gone are the days when people see a movie in a vacuum and go home from the theater to their movie-free lives." He shakes his s.h.a.ggy blond head. "Peak does it so well, their marketing machine is one of the best. And they meant it when they threatened you. I would have done the same thing you did-ride it out. I'd say the fact they even amended your contract with Audrey says a lot about the belief they have in you. Although, they did give you a failing project as punishment. They'd almost written it off ..." He looks at me gravely. "But you brought it back from the c.r.a.pper. I've seen the early cuts, and Jack? It's pretty 'effing' awesome, despite your drunk a.s.s. They're talking awards season. You certainly showed them."

"Seriously?"

"How is this a surprise to you?"

"It's not. I heard from people. I guess I didn't really believe it. I was so p.i.s.sed about being set up and controlled, I may have gone off the deep end a bit."

"A bit? Dude, I'd say getting drunk and publicly hooking up every night was a lot off the deep end, especially when you claim to be in love with someone."

"C'mon Dev. I told you what happened with Audrey, that stuff was engineered. Staged. None of it was real."

"I thought you all agreed to a couple of photo opportunities. What we've seen over the last few months seems like a lot more than that." He sounds incredulous.

"It looked that way, I guess. I wasn't trying to hurt Keri Ann. I think a part of me must have thought Keri Ann probably didn't even care anymore. I mean it had been months. Childish, I know. Being there, in England, is tough for me. I don't handle it well."

"You don't talk much about growing up."

I glance at him. Devon has been a good friend. I don't know why I haven't told him until now how things ended with Audrey. But I'm definitely not ready to talk about England.

Getting up, I prowl to the gla.s.s wall overlooking the ocean. The low sun has cast an amber filter over the view. A few people are letting their dogs frolic in the surf. It doesn't look like there are any photogs with high-powered lenses anywhere, but I didn't notice one when I was here last time either.

"I thought ... I thought that it would be a big 'eff you' to Audrey. And that it would help Keri Ann get over me, better that she hates me, right? But mostly I wasn't thinking at all. I avoided thinking at all costs. I just threw myself into being on that set and getting involved in the movie and drowning my sorrows when the cameras stopped rolling." I drop my forehead against the gla.s.s. "Being back in England does that to me."

"Did you explain to Keri Ann the stuff about Peak, about why you didn't come back here in December?"

"I tried, I wanted to."

"But you didn't because ...?"

"s.h.i.t. Because I saw her ... and because she makes me feel like I don't deserve her, which I don't, even though I crave her with every single f.u.c.king ounce of me. And I should have handled the situation last night better, but she floors me. I wish I had a script for how to be with her, but I don't. And I'd basically be saying I chose a movie contract over her. That I let myself be manipulated rather than fighting for her."

"Well, I can't say I expect her to look past the last five months, but maybe if you can tell her the why's she can decide whether to trust you again. And Jack, you weren't choosing a movie contract over her, you were protecting her from what Audrey had planned. And maybe she should know that. I would've done the same thing."

"It won't make a difference. Anyway, she's with someone else now."

"At least you'll have tried. And you know what? You can't change who you are. If you guys are going to have any kind of future, then she will need to get used to the reality of your life. It's not like you can hide from it. So why don't you use it to get her back? Show her what life you could have together. Accept who you are and win her back."

G.o.d, I'm losing sleep trying not to have thoughts about what we could have together. It's a full time job keeping them out of my head lest they make me f.u.c.king crazy.

"I promised her I'd stay away."

Devon shakes his head. "Why the h.e.l.l would you promise something like that?"

"She said if I meant what I said about being in love with her, I would respect her wishes and stay away."

"So you didn't actually promise her."

"No, but I did mean it when I said I was in love with her."

In. Love.

What a nightmare.

I flash back to her fixing her tire yesterday on the side of the road, giving off sparks with her att.i.tude. I wanted this girl. Like air. All the f.u.c.king way.