(Words in bold letters are written in English in the original text.)

The first month after the Doctor left. I'm normal.

San San said: “Normal is a little abnormal.”

Yin s.h.i.+ said: “This is something that hasn't been tasted yet.”

The second month after the Doctor left. I am still very normal.

San San said: “There really are heartless people like you. ”

Yin s.h.i.+ said: “Pretending to be calm? ”

The third month after the Doctor left. I continue to be normal.

Xiao Cao said: “Ah Xiao, you have lost weight. ”

Chen Cong said: “Sister in law, pay attention to your health and safety. ”

The fourth month after the Doctor left.

I was caught a cold when I was out of the project. I came back with a cold and fever. In fact, the illness is not that serious, but it has been intermittent for half a month. I feel a little depressed and my bones feel cold when I sleep at night. On weekends, I still go back to the Doctor's apartment, clean up, lie in bed, sleep or be in a daze. One day, I woke up in the middle of the night, wrapped in a quilt, looking for water to drink, and suddenly cried while drinking. It was the first time that I felt sad after the Doctor left. The feeling was very empty, exposed and out there. I felt bitter in my mouth.

The fifth month after the Doctor left. I'm back to normal.

Shuttling between the two cities, busy with the new year for two peoples share. Before the New Year dinner, I received a phone call from the Doctor. His voice was still soft and low: “Happy New Year. I miss you very much."

I held my cell phone and smile: “Study hard and don't let my sacrifice down.”

I hung up the phone only to find that my eyes were very sour.

The contents of the diaries for more than five months are not listed one by one, because the theme is basically ‘all kinds of melancholy seclusion dissatisfied woman of the boudoir'.

Time difference aside, the Doctor is not traveling after all. His schedule is quite full, I sometimes go out for projects, and occasionally have to go to covers with the boys and girls in freshman year and soph.o.m.ore year, which is not very idle. So, we don't make many phone calls and mostly write emails. Even though I really want to tell him the situation here, I am really afraid of being ‘Xianglin's sister-in-law' when I write it. Therefore, the daily mail is basically the same as text messages.

(TNote: Xianglin's sister-in-law is the character in Lu Xun's novel ‘Blessings' = nagging, always saying the same thing repeatedly, making people that pity her gradually disgusted.) 

Me: [Today, I played chess with grandpa all morning. After grandma left, he spoke much less. In the afternoon, he went for a walk in the flower and bird market. He spoke a lot about your childhood. It turns out that you also did the feat of ‘smas.h.i.+ng the water tank' when you were a child.]

(TNote: Sima Guang smashed the water tank= famous historical story, about Sima Guang smas.h.i.+ng a big water tank made to save a friend who fell in when he was a child.)

The Doctor: [Pharmacies only prescribe medicine, clinics only care about seeing a doctor, and hospitals only care about treatment. When can pharmacies be separated in China, there will be fewer people who don't need to lose everything every year. After watching an operation today, the concept of treatment at home and abroad is different after all.]

[I went to see the house today and the window guard rail was torn down. I don't think we would be able to fall out. The bricklayer was very caring. I gave him an apple and he gave me a lollipop from his son …]

[The design of the operating room equipment rack here is much more reasonable than ours. Zhang Wei's wife sent him a picture of her belly after five months, and he said he hoped he wouldn't miss the birth of the baby. I suddenly felt that I was lucky.]

[Today's invigilation exam, I found a cheat sheet that could catch up with Wei Diao. My eyes were dazzled after looking at it for ten seconds, it wasn't really a cheat sheet…He copied off the net!]

[Today, Zhang Wei and I went to a famous Chinese restaurant. There was b.u.t.ter in the kung pao chicken. The waiter brought us a basket of bread and told us with an experienced face, “Put the chicken, in the bread, um~~ taste good.” We were immediately speechless.]

[I'm going to Sichuan this week. Xiao Cao and pa.s.ser-by A had already made a lifelong commitment. I haven't recovered yet. Don't want to change the paper, don't want to change the paper …]

[Today, I accompanied Zhang Wei to the baby store to buy gifts. The smallest shoes in the store are not much longer than my fingers, just like a toy. He bought a pair of suspenders, which I really don't think he can wear for a while. I bought a set of building blocks as a gift.]

[The sun is very good today; your balcony is full of things. Your father said that he would also like to bask in the sun. He was on the balcony lounge chair and fell asleep in the sun … Sir, I didn't know you had so many pairs of sneakers …]

[Imagine a Chinese and a German fighting in English. Today, Zhang Wei and the only unmarried Grtner in the group pinched Klinsmann and Beckenbauer, who had stronger comprehensive strength and danced around the language barrier.]

[Du Wenjun called and urged you to bring special products back. I wanted to tell him that we can't afford a car, and can't bring back beer. He said: Then bring euro back. Children nowadays have different brain structures from ours.]

[Today, my colleague invited us to his house for dinner. His wife, like your grandmother, has made a round home-made roll. The fried sausages taste very good and no drinks because ‘German beer is in the bars'.]

Etc, etc …

Of course, there are still some that have no theme, no logic and no content.

[If you don't sleep soundly at night, are you lovesick?]

[Today I saw a child playing with a Rubik's Cube in the children's area, looks especially like you.]

[I think I almost forgot what you taste like.]

[Today, I found a rubber band in my suitcase. How long is your hair now?]

[It rained today and half of my s.h.i.+rt was wet. But It's your s.h.i.+rt ~~]

[Went to the museum this afternoon, then started to look and stare at things blankly.]

[I drew a sketch for you, it was very enjoyable …]

[Grtner, made me describe you. I searched for adjectives for a long time, and finally I could only tell him good.]

[All the notes on the desk calendar are connected, much like waffles.]

[It seems that sleep is not so good.]

[Can you feel itchy in your heart and mouth?]

[No, my ears are burning. I guess you're criticizing me internally.]

Etc, etc, and so on…

I have never experienced such a life before. I have 1% s.p.a.ce in my brain that's always wandering out of my control. Weather, international news, newspapers, time difference. Not to disturb the normal pace of work and life, but I always feel that some are out of control. These faint emotions are like a thin film, wrapped around the body carefully.

After entering March, the weather became fine, and the tree outside the office window began to sprout slowly, and a small green dot appeared innocently.

Spring is coming after all. When the flowers bloom, they would return slowly.