"I'm not sure she's a good person for you to hang around with right now."

I carried the empty pot to the sink, and dropped it in. "She's my best friend."

"I know, but it sounds like she's making bad choices right now. You should try to make some new friends at church."

Irritated, I said, "I don't want to make new friends, Isaac. I just want things to go back to normal with Haley."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you what to do. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

The irritation dissipated. "I know. I didn't mean to snap. It's just that Haley and I have been friends for so long. I can't imagine my life without her." I picked up my bowl of mac n'cheese and carried it to the family room. I almost b.u.mped into the sculpture. It would take some getting used to. As I settled on the couch, its shadow blanketed me in darkness.

"I get it. But things are different for you now. You need a support system that understands that."

"You mean other Christians?" I set the bowl on the coffee table, and tucked my legs up under my body. My stomach hurt. I didn't know if I was ready to make new friends. Especially people who were all into church and stuff. Everything seemed easier when I was at Grandma's.

"Yeah."

I thought about how most of Isaac's friends were Christians. Then again, he'd been raised with them. It's all he'd ever known. I bit my lip. "We'll see. I started going to a church near my house. Maybe I'll meet someone there."

Chapter Five.

Haley wasn't waiting for me at her locker before lunch. We always met each other there and walked to the cafeteria together. I stood with my back against the cold metal locker for a few minutes. I hadn't seen her all day but I was really hoping she wasn't mad at me anymore. I never should've opened my mouth about Ian. What kind of hold did this guy have on her, anyway?

The minutes ticked by at a snail's pace. Students hurried past. A few of them glanced over at me with a curious look. I'm sure I looked like a total loser; like I'd been stood up or something. I guess in a way I had been.

Finally, I decided to head to the cafeteria and find Haley. Surely, once we talked things out everything would be fine. We never stayed mad at each other for long. I pushed open the cafeteria doors. Loud conversing and laughing spilled outside. I walked in, and spotted our regular table. No Haley. I scanned the room and finally found her red hair. She was sitting at Caleb's table. My stomach dropped. She leaned over and whispered something in Ian's ear and they both started laughing.

I contemplated going over there and demanding an explanation, but I wasn't sure I could handle Caleb's leering or Ian's smart remarks. So, I trudged over to an empty table and plopped down. Taking deep breaths, I warded off the tears that threatened to penetrate. This was the first time I found myself eating alone at school. I took my brown lunch bag out of my backpack and set it on the table. Keeping my head down, I pulled out my sandwich. I didn't dare look up because I was afraid people would be staring at me. Perhaps if I barely moved, no one would notice me at all. I reached for the phone in my pocket. Maybe I could just text Isaac all lunch period.

"Hey, want some company?"

My head snapped up. My eyes widened. "Tanner." I pushed the phone back into my jean's pocket.

"You were expecting someone else?" He smiled.

"No, it's just...I was sort of hoping..." My gaze flitted over to Haley. She didn't even glance my way. Her attention was glued on Ian.

Following my eyes, he said, "She'll come around."

I sighed. "I hope so."

"So, can I join you?" Tanner held up a brown lunch bag. "I mean, unless you'd rather eat alone."

The last thing I wanted was to spend any more time by myself. Still, I couldn't figure out why he was there. "Shouldn't you be sitting with your friends?"

He shook his head. "Nah. It's just the same old thing over there. Besides, just between you and me, that Ian dude is annoying."

I giggled. Maybe Tanner wasn't so bad, after all.

"So, that's a yes?" He c.o.c.ked an eyebrow.

I nodded. He slid onto the bench next to me, bringing with him the scent of musky cologne.

"So you and Haley got into a fight, huh?" He unscrewed the cap of his water bottle.

"She told you?"

"No, Ian sort of mentioned it to the group."

Man, I really didn't like Ian.

I opened my can of soda. "Yeah, well he's the reason we're not speaking."

"It'll blow over. Everyone can see he's just the rebound guy." Tanner brought his sandwich up to his mouth, and took a large bite.

"That's what I thought too, but now I'm not so sure."

"She was staring at Derek the whole time I was over there. If you ask me she's just trying to make her ex jealous." Mayo stuck to the corners of Tanner's mouth. It made him seem so vulnerable. I turned away.

"I sure hope you're right because I don't want to lose my best friend to him."

"Trust me." He smiled.

I nodded. I wasn't sure if I should or not, but oddly enough I did trust him.

"Haley!" I called after her when I spotted her in the hallway between cla.s.ses.

She turned around, her lips pursed. "Yeah?" She raised her eyebrows.

"You gonna stay mad at me forever?" I gave her a wry smile.

She didn't smile back. "Maybe."

"C'mon, Hales. Don't be like that."

"I have to go. The bell's about to ring." She started to turn.

"Haley, I'm sorry."

She turned to me briefly, her face unreadable and then walked away. Shocked, I stood frozen in place. The bell rang. A few students straggled behind, their shoes squeaking on the linoleum. I couldn't believe Haley was staying mad at me. Having no idea how to fix things, I walked to cla.s.s with a hollow feeling in my heart.

Chapter Six.

"Where are you going so early?" Mom called to me as I opened the front door. A rush of cool air hit me in the face. My sundress billowed around my legs. I shivered.

"Church." I turned to Mom. Her hair stuck out all over her head in a mess of tangled curls. She wore her flannel pajama pants and a large ripped t-shirt.

"Why don't you stay home today? I'll make eggs for breakfast."

"We don't have any."

"Well, then I'll make pancakes." She hugged herself. "Close the door. It's freezing in here."

"I've gotta go. Service starts in ten minutes."

"What about pancakes?"

"I already had some cereal." I took a step forward. "I'm gonna be late."

"C'mon, stay home with me. We haven't spent any time together lately." She stuck her bottom lip out in a childish pout.

"And whose fault is that?" I snapped before I could stop myself.

"I know I've been spending a lot of time with Drake. But honey, I've never gone out with anyone like him before. I think I'm falling in love."

"Good for you." I couldn't hold back the irritation. My mom fell in love as often as other women changed their socks.

"But I'm home today and I was hoping you and I could catch up."

I hesitated. A part of me did want to spend time with Mom. But I couldn't just drop everything the minute she was ready to be with me. I'd been doing that my whole life. At some point I had to draw the line. I flashed her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry Mom. We can hang out when I get home. I'll only be gone an hour or so." As I walked out the door, I caught a glimpse of disappointment on her face. Without thinking about it, I raced to my car.

I pulled into Grace Bible Church with only a couple minutes to spare. I cut the engine and bolted from the car. The parking lot was filled with cars. Only a few families still lingered outside. A young couple dragged a screaming toddler past me.

I had chosen this church because it was close to my house. But I also liked that it reminded me of Grandma's church with how small it was and how the pastor was kind and soft-spoken.

I hurried inside, my strappy silver sandals clicking on the pavement. Just as I stepped into the foyer, a familiar face beamed at me. I took a step back in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"The same thing as you I suppose," Tanner teased.

My face warmed. I guess it was a stupid question. "It's just that I've never seen you here before."

"Have you been coming here long?" He adjusted the collar on his blue shirt. His hair was spiked with gel, and his face was smooth. He smelled like aftershave lotion. My heart sped up.

"No, just since I got back from my Grandma's." Memories of my summer surfaced. I thought of Isaac and, even though I'd done nothing wrong, I felt guilty. Why did Tanner have to keep showing up everywhere I went?

"This is my first time. But I went to the youth summer camp and that's when I accepted Christ."

"You became a Christian over the summer?"

He nodded.

"Me too."

"I heard." Music started in the sanctuary.

"We better get inside," I said. "Do you need to find your family?"

"They're not here." Disappointment crossed his features.

"Mine either." I knew exactly how he felt.

A man, wearing a nametag , handed us a bulletin as we entered the sanctuary. We found two seats in the back row and sat down. As worship commenced, I tried not to think about how close Tanner was, or how cute he looked all dressed up. Instead, I closed my eyes, and attempted to focus on the lyrics and G.o.d. Only it was a losing battle. My thoughts drifted to Isaac. Was I betraying him by standing with another boy in church? Was it cheating if I found myself attracted to someone else?

These were the thoughts swirling through my mind all through the service. Several times I almost got up and ran out, but I knew that would be immature. Besides, the last thing I wanted to do was cause a scene. When service ended, Tanner turned to me.

"Wanna go grab a coffee or something? We could go to Thatchers."

It sounded so nice. Certainly better than heading home. It wasn't like I had my pick of friends to hang out with now that Haley wasn't speaking to me. But going to coffee sounded too much like a date.

"No thanks, I better head home. Mom wants to spend time together today."

Tanner nodded. "I understand. Maybe another time?"

"I don't know." I bit my lip.

I saw disappointment in his eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt his feelings.

"It's just that I sort of...well...I have a boyfriend." People walked past us as they filed out of the church.

"Really?" His eyebrows raised. "I had no idea. Who is he?"

"Oh, you don't know him. I met him over the summer."