if it meant living again.
I'd be him.
"Keep most of the lights off,"
Krista tells Mickey
as we enter our cousins'
beachfront condo,
where our family has stayed
since I was fourteen.
"That way I can still see Logan."
"I'll get you a towel.
And do you want a dry-"
He looks away
from her sodden T-shirt.
He has a girlfriend,
after all,
a girlfriend he's barely touched
in 233 days.
He heads down the hall,
but she lingers by the front door,
checks that it's unlocked.
"He won't hurt you," I tell her.
"I know," she whispers.
"But after that Cindy girl died
at spring break,
my parents gave me the Talk.
They said,
'Just because you graduated a year early
doesn't mean you can't be stupid.'"
We go to join Mickey,
passing the open door
of Siobhan's room
and the closed door
where my younger brother Dylan and I
used to stay.