He went to America seven years ago, and from that day to this we have never heard any tale or tidings of him.

'Did he treat you hospitably?' 'Oh indeed he pretended to forget it entirely, and I never took bit, bite, or sup in his house.' This form of expression is heard everywhere in Ireland.

We have in Ireland an inveterate habit--from the highest to the lowest--educated and uneducated--of constantly interjecting the words 'you know' into our conversation as a mere expletive, without any particular meaning:--'I had it all the time, you know, in my pocket: he had a seat, you know, that he could arrange like a chair: I was walking, you know, into town yesterday, when I met your father.' 'Why in the world did you lend him such a large sum of money?' 'Well, you know, the fact is I couldn't avoid it.' This expression is often varied to 'don't you know.'

In Munster a question is often introduced by the {136} words 'I don't know,' always shortened to _I'd'no_ (three syllables with the _I_ long and the _o_ very short--barely sounded) 'I'd'no is John come home yet?' This phrase you will often hear in Dublin from Munster people, both educated and uneducated.

'The t'other' is often heard in Armagh: it is, of course, English:--

'Sirs,' cried the umpire, cease your pother, The creature's neither one nor t'other.

CHAPTER X.

COMPARISONS.

Some of the items in this chapter would fit very well in the last; but this makes no matter; for 'good punch drinks well from either dandy or tumbler.'

You attempt in vain to bring a shameless coa.r.s.e-minded man to a sense of the evil he has done:--'Ye might as well put a blister on a hedgehog.'

(Tyrone.)

You're as cross all this day as _a bag of cats_.

If a man is inclined to threaten much but never acts up to his threats--severe in word but mild in act:--His bark is worse than his bite.

That turf is as dry as a bone (very common in Munster.) _Bone-dry_ is the term in Ulster.

When a woman has very thick legs, thick almost down to the feet, she is 'like a Mullingar heifer, beef to the heels.' The plains of Westmeath round Mullingar are noted for fattening cattle. {137}

He died roaring like Doran's bull.

A person restless, uneasy, fidgety, and impatient for the time being, is 'like a hen on a hot griddle.'

Of a scapegrace it is said he is past _grace_ like a limeburner's brogue (shoe). The point will be caught up when it is remembered that _grease_ is p.r.o.nounced _grace_ in Ireland.

You're as blind as a bat.

When a person is boastful--magnifies all his belongings--'all his geese are swans.'

She has a tongue that would _clip a hedge_. The tongue of another would _clip clouts_ (cut rags). (Ulster.)

He went _as fast as hops_. When a fellow is hopping along on one leg, he has to go fast, without stopping.

Of a coa.r.s.e ill-mannered man who uses unmannerly language:--'What could you expect from a pig but a _grunt_.' (Carlow.)

A person who seems to be getting smaller is growing down like a cow's tail.

Of a wiry muscular active man people say 'he's as hard as nails.'

A person who acts inconsiderately and rudely without any restraint and without respect for others, is 'like a bull in a china shop.'

Of a clever artful schemer: 'If he didn't go to school he met the scholars.'

An active energetic person is 'all alive like a bag of fleas.'

That man knows no more about farming _than a cow knows of a holiday_.

A tall large woman:--'That's a fine doorful of a woman.' (MacCall: Wexford.) {138}

He has a face as yellow as a kite's claw. (Crofton Croker: but heard everywhere.)

Jerry in his new clothes is as proud as a whitewashed pig. (MacCall: Wexford.)

That man is as old as a field. (Common in Tipperary.)

'Are you well protected in that coat?' 'Oh yes I'm _as warm as wool_.'

(Very common in the south.)

Idle for want of weft _like the Drogheda weavers_. Said of a person who runs short of some necessary material in doing any work. (Limerick.)

I watched him as closely as a cat watches a mouse.

He took up the book; but seeing the owner suddenly appear, he dropped it _like a hot potato_.

'You have a head and so has a pin,' to express contempt for a person's understanding.

How are your new stock of books selling? Oh they are _going like hot cakes_. Hot cakes are a favourite viand, and whenever they are brought to table disappear quickly enough.

He's as poor as a church mouse.

A person expressing love mockingly:--'Come into my heart and pick sugar.'

An extremely thin emaciated person is _like death upon wires_; alluding to a human skeleton held together by wires.

Oh you need never fear that Mick O'Brien will cheat you: _Mick is as honest as the sun_.

A person who does not persevere in any one study or pursuit, who is perpetually changing about from one thing to another, is 'like a daddy-long-legs dancing on a window.' {139}

A bitter tongue that utters cutting words is like the keen wind of March that blows at every side of the hedge.

A person praising strong whiskey says:--I felt it like a torchlight procession going down my throat.

A man with a keen sharp look in his face:--'He has an eye like a questing hawk.' Usually said in an unfavourable sense.

If any commodity is supplied plentifully it is knocked about _like snuff at a wake_. Snuff was supplied free at wakes; and the people were not sparing of it as they got it for nothing.