Chapter 15.

I ran toward Sean at the warehouse. He looked in my direction and kept turning keys in the dead bolts on the door like he knew I was up to no good.

I snagged his hand and dragged him after me.

"Whoa there, woman," he said as he stumbled, keys jingling.

"Come with me." I led him down the gra.s.s and around the seawall until we reached my dock.

I stopped him with my hands on his chest. After an examination of my screened porch through the trees, I pushed him six inches to the left. "My dad is probably out on the porch," I told Sean. "While he's watching, I need you to act like we're together."

His eyes widened, and he put his hands up in the air. "No way. I don't want to get sent to military school."

"Yes way," I said. "You're going to college in the fall. You're free and clear."

He glanced toward the porch too, I thought. But I realized he was looking at the window of my brother's room when he said, "I could get thrown off Chimney Rock." I gave him the meanest look I could muster. "Sean Vader," I seethed, "you put your hands on me in an ungentle-manly fashion this instant." I must have looked like I was going to kill him or give myself an aneurism, because he quickly put his hands on either side of my bare waist, just above my bikini bottoms and Adam's cutoff jeans.

With my fingertip I pressed his chin until he tilted his head down. I stood on my tiptoes and balanced my forehead against his, gazing into his pale blue eyes. Close-up, he appeared to have four eyes. This was neither s.e.xy nor conducive to a productive discussion, but I figured it looked frightening to my dad.

"You know about my plan," I said. "I've been dating boys who are worse than Adam so my dad will give in and let me date him again. You are the worst boy I can think of." I closed my eyes and kissed the side of his mouth.

Sean breathed a little harder through his nose, which made me feel powerful. But then, infuriatingly, he said, "Adam and I made a pact. I'm not getting in his way by messing with you, and he's not getting in my way by messing with Rachel."

My stomach twisted. Adam and I made a pact too. But I was trying to save him from military school, which was more important than my promise to him.

"You've already screwed up everything with Rachel," I reasoned. This might have hurt Sean's feelings, but if he still carried a torch for her, he sure hadn't done anything about it in the past three weeks. "And pact or no pact, Adam will thank you for this later. My dad will agree to let Adam and me date. Then he can talk your parents out of sending Adam away, because I was the cause of all that trouble in the first place." I kissed Sean's cheek. This was the path Adam had taught me: corner of the mouth, then cheek. Next stop, ear.

"In case you haven't noticed," Sean said, "Adam and I don't do each other any favors."

"Maybe you need to start," I said. "After all, he wouldn't be headed to military school if it weren't for you." I put my mouth on his ear.

"Me-he-he-he!" he exclaimed. Obviously he was caught off guard by the ear treatment. He gripped my waist harder, but he managed to croak, "You just admitted this was your fault."

"It's my fault Adam keeps getting in trouble for being with me," I whispered in Sean's ear. "It's your fault that your parents thought he was so awful in the first place. If he'd suddenly started acting out, n.o.body would be talking about sending him away to school. But he's been getting in trouble since I met him. You and I know about twenty-five percent of that is ADHD and the other seventy-five percent is you doing something and then blaming it on him-either just to get yourself out of trouble or specifically to screw up his life. I've known this all along, and I can't believe I wanted to be with you until recently." I kissed my way back to his cheek.

"I have issues," he whispered back. "That makes me vulnerable. Chicks dig it."

"If you say so. Shut up and kiss me." Without waiting for his decision, I kissed Sean Vader full on the mouth.

Sean was a great kisser. It would be hard to compare him with Adam because they were totally different. Sean kissed as suavely as he talked, with an understated smoothness that left me wanting more. Adam's kisses were much more intense. And that's why, even though I cracked one eye open occasionally to get a delicious peek at Sean with his eyes closed, kissing me slowly, looking so much like Adam, I never forgot who I was kissing.

He slid his hands onto my b.u.t.t. I froze at first. Adam's brother's hands were on my b.u.t.t. But this was great for the plan that I had dragged Sean into. I had to remember I was doing this to save Adam from military school.

Still, I began to feel guilty, and I thought I'd better lighten the mood. "Am I good at this?" I joked against Sean's lips. "Are you actually maybe a little turned on?"

"Until you started talking."

"Good." He wasn't falling for me any more than I was falling for him. I licked my lips and prepared to move in again.

But I couldn't lean forward. I stayed stuck where I was, staring into his light blue eyes that really weren't all that much like Adam's after all, now that I examined them up close.

"What's the matter?" Sean asked.

I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears. "This isn't going to work, is it?"

"No." I couldn't see him, but his low voice sounded almost sympathetic. "What are the chances that your dad is watching us right now? Or that he would care in exactly the way you need him to care? Or that he has good enough vision to tell it's me and not Adam?"

"You're right. It hasn't worked yet. I don't know why I keep trying. I guess I just don't want to face the fact-" I looked up into his eyes. He watched me with concern.

"-that I can't fix it!" I burst into tears. My whole world seemed so hopeless and empty and meaningless. Adam was getting a punishment he didn't deserve because of me. If I couldn't fix it, what good was I?

"Aww," Sean said. "Come here." He pulled me forward into his arms and rubbed my back, soothing. With his chin on my head he said, "I'll talk to my mom, okay?" I was too busy sobbing and soaking his T-shirt with my tears to respond.

"I mean, Adam needs knocking around to toughen him up. I've done him a favor. But you're right-sending him to military school makes no sense. I'll try to talk my mom out of it. If anybody can do that, it's me." He patted my back absently. "Maybe it will get back to Rachel that I've done a good deed." I sniffed gigantically. "Maybe you should talk to Rachel and tell her you want to make up with her, you moron." He held me at arm's length and looked at me like he'd never seen me before. "That's an idea." A few minutes later, I hiked back up my yard and went into my house. I had tried my best to freak out my dad, but I was used to my plans to get Adam out of the doghouse falling through, and I was resigned to the fact that my last try with Sean had not worked at all. Therefore I was astonished when my dad knocked on the screened porch door and motioned for me to come outside with him.

Cautiously hopeful, I edged onto the porch and eyed him. He relaxed in his customary chair with a full view of our dock, beaming. He would not be beaming if he'd noticed Sean and me making out right in front of his nose. d.a.m.n it, we must have won the lottery!

"I know what you did," Dad said.

"You do?" I asked carefully, just in case I had a much poorer understanding of parental psychology than I'd thought.

"Yes. And I think it's commendable."

"You do?" Was he talking about Sean and me? I hadn't volunteered at the Humane Society since the beginning of the summer.

"Yes. I'm not wrong about your curfew, Lori. I'm not wrong about keeping you safe." He reached forward to pat my arm. "But I may have flown off the handle about restricting your movements. Frances keeps telling me that it only backfires. I think that's what we've seen in the past few weeks. You may date Adam again, and I've put in a good word with his parents. I doubt they'll send him away to school."

'Thank you!" I screamed, throwing myself on top of my dad. "Thank you so much," I gushed. "I'm so glad. Adam is great. You just have to see past... a lot. Thank you, Dad." I eased off him because he seemed to be having trouble breathing, like I was crushing him or perhaps kneeing him in the ribs. "Thank you." He took my hand and squeezed it. "Have fun at the party tonight."

"I will. Thank you so much!"

I banged into the house and ran upstairs to get ready for the party, which would start in less than an hour. In my bathroom I laid out some things I needed for the party and was liable to forget if I got too excited: mascara, eyelash comb, earrings, and my mother's diamond-and-pearl ring, which I'd only been wearing since my birthday. It still felt funny on my finger.

It wasn't until I stepped into the shower that I thought through what my dad had said, and started to have doubts. My dad thought it was commendable that I'd made out with Sean in order to save Adam from military school? That would only happen if the world were run by reality-show producers. I wanted to have another conversation with my dad about this. However, I wasn't sure how I could phrase the question. Hey, Dad, what exactly were you commending me for just now when I acted like I knew what the h.e.l.l you were talking about? And I was afraid whatever I'd done for Adam would be reversed just because I asked.

Oh well. I was sure the mystery would be solved soon enough. Right now I would slip on the miniskirt Adam seemed so fond of and run to his house to celebrate with him.

At school my friends were always telling me how lucky I was to live next door to the Vader boys and go to their famous parties in the summer. I'd told my friends the parties were no big deal to me. I didn't elaborate on why: I felt awkward going to them. I knew I was wearing the wrong thing but I had no idea how to fix it. I wanted Sean to like me and he was in a dark corner, manhandling some other girl.

Since I'd been with Adam, of course my opinion of the parties had changed. A party had gotten Sean and Rachel together, which had opened the door for Adam and me.

A party had hosted my first make-out session with Adam. The last party had been awful-Adam and I got in a huge fight, he punched Sean, and their dad discovered the tiny beer stash and took away party privileges for two weeks.

This party would be perfect. As I walked through the trees toward Adam's house, big and rambling in the orange light of sunset, I could feel the electricity in the air, even though no other guests had arrived yet. Except for the Vaders' cars and trucks, there were no vehicles in the driveway. Even Adam's pink truck was gone.

Maybe Mrs. Vader had sent Adam to town to get more food for the party. But on the off chance that someone had borrowed his truck, I entered their house without knocking. I was Adam's Girlfriend and that was my right.

In the kitchen, Mrs. Vader placed appetizers carefully on plates on the bar, and Sean quickly ate them. Without letting Mrs. Vader put down what she had in her hand, and therefore risking a grease spot on my Slinky Cleavage-Revealing Top, I grabbed her and hugged her. "Thank you so much! Is Adam upstairs? Can I see him? Is he gone?

Should I wait here for him? Everything is on the up-and-up. I can sit here and wait for him and not even hide it from you! Such luxury!" Mrs. Vader chuckled as she extracted herself from me. "Adam just left."

"Where'd he go?"

"He didn't say, but..." She pointed a chicken wing at me. "Adam thinks that you two are in an argument." My body zinged into alert mode. My mind didn't know what Mrs. Vader meant, but my body already did. Even Sean glanced over at her with a cautious look.

"He does?" I asked faintly.

"A bad one," she confirmed.

"How could we be in a bad argument without me even knowing about it?"

Sean laughed nervously.

"All I know is, your dad called me to say I should reconsider sending Adam away to school," Mrs. Vader said. "Then Adam came back from talking to your dad. I told him that we weren't sending him away, and I thought he should have been happy, but he was very angry with you."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't sending him away to school?" Sean asked.

"Well, Sean, I wasn't sure you'd care." Mrs. Vader's gaze switched from Sean to me and back to Sean again. She must have heard what I'd tried to tell her about Adam and Sean over all that tapping on her keyboard.

Sean gaped at her. I didn't care. They could work out their important family issues later. I had teen intrigue to manage. What I wanted to know was, "Why did Adam talk to my dad?"

She shrugged. "I don't know exactly what was said, but they had a man-to-man talk about Adam's behavior, which is what changed your dad's mind about him." Now what my dad had said to me made sense. He hadn't commended me for making out with Sean in order to get Adam out of trouble. He a.s.sumed I'd sent Adam over for this man-to-man talk. He thought I'd dealt with my problems and Adam's in a responsible, adult manner, when nothing could have been further from the truth.

Something else made sense too. I knew why Adam was mad at me. I put my hand over my mouth. "Sean," I said through my fingers. "Sean, Adam saw us." Mrs. Vader threw the chicken wing down on a pan and put her hands on her hips, glaring at me. "He saw you doing what?"

"Does it really matter, as long as it's before her curfew?" Sean said this in a snide tone, but I could hear the vibration underneath.

Mrs. Vader shook her head as she picked up a sponge and wiped the counter. "Lori, you need to watch out around these boys." I was still miffed at her for implying I didn't have a mind of my own. "Maybe they need to watch out around me." I had thought this for a while, but I never said it out loud.

When I saw the look on Mrs. Vader's face, I wished I could take it back. "Maybe they do!" Her voice was shrill.

The doorbell rang, saving me from the possibility of the Vader matriarch throwing fried food at me. Sean clapped his hands together and said in the tone of a 1950s housewife, "There are our guests! Am-scray, om-May." He left to get the door.

With a last withering look at me, Mrs. Vader disappeared up the stairs. She pa.s.sed Cameron bounding down. "Party time!" he called to no one in particular. Then he saw me. "What in the world is up with you now?"

I swallowed. "I do hope you are referring to my glamorous updo and not some bombsh.e.l.l you are about to drop on me about Adam." Cameron shrugged. "Just that he went to pick up Rachel."

I nodded manically. "But not for a date, right? Just as friends, right?" I chose a pizza roll from the spread and popped it into my mouth with a shaking hand.

Mmmmmm, cheese.

"I thought it was a date," Cameron informed me. "He was dressed like Sean. He shaved off his beard." I put one hand over my heart, which was pounding in protest. "Don't you think he was just trying to make me jealous?"

"I asked him about that. He said no, he really asked out Rachel. He said you're obviously done with him." Cameron angled his head in the direction Sean had gone.

"Now he's done with you. He said it was a relief because you're more trouble than you're worth. Which..."

"Made sense?" I shrieked.

Cameron spread his hands: If you say so. He walked into the living room and high-fived some of his friends.

Sean came back into the kitchen, leading five or six people who snagged hors d'oeuvres, jumped over the couch into the living room, and turned the stereo to full volume. I stepped up to Sean and grabbed him by the neatly ironed front of his shirt. "Adam saw us!" I shouted over the music. "He went to get Rachel! Cameron says he shaved for her and it's a real date. Please tell me you think Adam's only trying to make me jealous!" Sean lost his natural smirk and looked concerned for once. "Sounds like they're really together."

"I don't think so." I couldn't think so. The possibility was too awful. I released Sean's shirt and smoothed it. "Adam just saw us kissing and got angry. He was always opposed to the plan. He specifically told me not to go forward with the plan. But he'll be over it tomorrow." I thought about how long Adam held grudges against me lately. "Or next week."

Sean shook his head. "They're really together. And I was going to talk to her!" His usual debonair grin was gone. He looked so morose that I lost all confidence I could explain my way out of my predicament with Adam.

I patted Sean on the back and said with more a.s.surance than I felt, "We'll sit in the front window and watch for them. The instant they arrive at the party, we'll see them and we'll talk to them just like you planned. They'll listen to reason."

Three hours later, Sean and I still shared the window seat that looked out over the Vaders' front yard. This gave us a view of anyone coming or going from the driveway and the front door. But we were afraid of giving Adam and Rachel the impression we were together, so we sat side by side on the cushions, awkwardly, and without touching, looking through the gla.s.s like eager puppies waiting for their masters to come home.

Surely they were only riding around town before the party because they knew we were waiting for them. I'd tried to call Adam and Sean had tried to call Rachel, but they weren't answering. Surely they were only punishing us. They would show up here sooner or later and we could fix everything.

"Why were you always so mean to Adam when we were kids?" I demanded. I wanted to comfort Sean in theory, but I was getting frustrated with the wait for Adam. It felt good to take out some aggression. "If you hadn't been mean to Adam, he wouldn't be so quick to lose it. For that matter, why were you always so mean to me? You never let us play with you. Or if you did, you made it seem like you were doing us this huge favor."

"Junior," he said gently, "you were really little. And really cute." He tweaked my nose. "And I didn't want to babysit. I wanted to play with Cameron and McGillicuddy.

This is hard for me to remember, but at one time I felt, like, honored to be allowed to play with them because they were older than me." He leaned closer so I could hear him better over the booming ba.s.s line. "If hanging with the big dogs made you so miserable, why didn't you and Adam go hang by yourselves?"

"We did, once." I searched my memories of that summer day, the sunlight glinting off the points of waves on the lake, filtering through moving s.p.a.ces between the leaves of a tall tree, threading itself into Adam's curls as we nailed a sign to his tree house that said KEEP OUT JERKS. "Normally it didn't occur to us that we could do that."

"Until now," Sean said, "when it's too late."

"Ha ha. Not funny."

"I don't think it's funny either," Sean said. "I think Rachel and Adam are really together." He glanced behind me. "Speak of the devil." In my excitement to see Adam, I whirled around and fell off the window seat. A shadow loomed overhead, blocking out the tiny bit of strobe light that made its way through the bodies dancing in the center of the room. My brother stood over us with his hands on his hips.

I reached up and slapped Sean's leg. "I thought you meant Adam!"

Sean focused on McGillicuddy instead of me. "It's okay." Sean put up his hands. "I didn't kiss her in the warehouse when she was eleven." McGillicuddy shook his head. "Adam and Rachel just left."

I leaped up from the floor before Sean had even made it off the seat. "We never saw them drive up! Did you tell them Sean and I aren't together?" All our a.s.sorted brothers and close friends had been instructed to tell Adam and Rachel they were wanted for a conference at the window seat.

"Apparently they never came inside," McGillicuddy shouted over the music. "I heard this from some people coming in from the dock. They said Adam and Rachel shot bottle rockets into the lake and left again."

"That's my date!" I turned to Sean and pounded on his chest with my fists. "Your girlfriend stole my date night!"

"Oh, G.o.d," Sean breathed.

I relaxed my fists and pressed my hands on his chest, holding him steady. Then I asked McGillicuddy, "Did they 'leave'?" I made finger quotes, which would indicate that they had put on a big show of acting like they were driving elsewhere to make out. At least, this is what the finger-quotes indicated to me. "Or did they leave?" He frowned at me. "They left."

Tammy danced over with a big grin on her face, the kind of grin one wears when one is at a party with one's boyfriend and one's life is not going to h.e.l.l in a handbasket.