Now what was he going to do? You're going to get her back, that's what, a.s.shole. With your tail between your legs, you're going to formulate a plan and remind Lori Polluck who runs her world.

But first, a shower, a hotel room and something to eat. Tomorrow was soon enough.

And he needed sleep. If he could just get a few hours of sleep... But rest had largely eluded him for several months. Every time he closed his eyes, he slipped into a dark place that yanked him back to consciousness sweating and gasping for air. After seeing Lori, tonight would be no exception.

f.u.c.k. You don't even know where she lives. It wouldn't be hard to find out, but if she lived with someone, perhaps even in a relationship, she wouldn't take kindly to him showing up at her door.

No. He needed to do a bit of research first. It had been sheer luck the owner, Jason, hadn't been in the club tonight. If he had, he'd never have let Jude take over the way he had.

Unfortunately, Jason would also be the first person Carlton would contact with the details of tonight's escapade. Carlton was liable to sock Jude in the jaw the next time he saw him. And Jason was not going to be pleased either. Too bad for Jude, because Jason was Jude's best resource concerning Lori's state of affairs and location.

With a groan, Jude started his truck and pulled out of the parking lot. The ma.s.sive black four-by-four was the first thing he'd bought last week after returning to the States, and the only possession he had thus far.

He fingered the steering wheel pensively. Worrying isn't going to help you any. A six-pack and a crash into bed might be a start, but that's about as far as you're going to get tonight.

Lori drove, both hands gripping the steering wheel as though it were a lifeline. She hadn't made eye contact or said a word to Margaret since they'd left Emergence.

She glanced at her sub now, who sat wrapped tight inside her warm jacket and stared out the window. They'd been together for over a year. But something had happened tonight. Something that sent a chill down Lori's spine. She shivered.

Margaret remained speechless, which both relieved and worried Lori. She couldn't imagine what her sub must be thinking. Lori didn't know herself. Her emotions were all over the map. Her heart pounded from her reaction to the strangest encounter ever. She felt steamrolled by the Dom who had taken over her scene and left her gasping for oxygen.

Jude had s.e.x appeal no one could deny. Not even Margaret. His enormous chest alone had made Lori lick her lips, remembering the smooth feel of his skin, the firmness of his pecs.

Lori flexed and gripped the steering wheel over and over as though she were about to yank it off and toss it out the window. Doubt tightened her chest. Lori had fallen under a spell when Jude entered the room. And as hard as she tried, she couldn't shake free of that all-consuming enchantment.

She adored Margaret. Until tonight she would have said she was in love with the woman. Now she wasn't sure. She'd loved Jude with all her heart at one time. That wasn't something she could erase even with time and disappointment.

Lori had felt incredible remorse for her breach of conduct as she'd snuggled with Margaret on the couch after the flogging. Jude's words had dipped into her bloodstream and made her pant through her increased heart rate. She could still hear the timbre of his voice in her head, the same voice that had brought her to her knees many times in the past.

She squeezed her hands tighter. She needed to get a grip. Shake away whatever craziness had seeped into her system. It was ludicrous for her to l.u.s.t after Jude. He'd been gone for two years. She was a different woman.

What the h.e.l.l had Jude been thinking taking over her scene? He hadn't come to the club tonight to top Margaret. He'd come for Lori. A twinge of longing filled her chest and made her gasp.

As though in slow motion, Lori replayed the scene in her mind. She'd been so out of control while completely in control at the same time. Margaret had to be confused as h.e.l.l, but Lori couldn't bring herself to discuss the awkward elephant. She couldn't begin to articulate how she felt, let alone talk it over with her sub. And that sucked more than anything else. It wasn't fair to Margaret to leave her sitting in silence with no explanation.

Lori had never shared intimate details about her past. Margaret knew the gist of things, but not the specifics. That part of Lori's life was in the past. She'd never expected to drag those skeletons out and toss them around. Both she and Margaret had skirted the edge of certain topics about their pasts. It was understood they both had baggage.

Margaret stared out the pa.s.senger window, away from Lori. Lori swallowed around the pain she felt, knowing she was hurting Margaret.

The dark, mysterious world pa.s.sed by outside, revealing very few of its hidden secrets. Lori wanted answers to questions she was afraid to ask. She blinked, praying she'd imagined the entire evening and Jude Cavanaugh had not just waltzed into Emergence this evening and taken over as though he'd never left.

When they pulled into the garage, Lori exited the car as though she'd driven there alone. She left Margaret in the front seat and entered the kitchen through the side door. She left the door open when she pa.s.sed, trying not to be a complete b.i.t.c.h but needing s.p.a.ce and time to think.

Lori headed for the master bedroom and then made a beeline for the bathroom. She had the water running and was in the shower before Margaret stepped into the room. The first thing she needed to do before she could breathe properly was wash Jude's touch off her skin.

As she regained control over her heart rate, she could sense Margaret watching her. She stared at her sub through the gla.s.s door. Margaret dropped her jacket on a chair and peeled herself slowly out of her tight denim miniskirt and the bra she'd worn as a shirt. She kicked off her heels and lifted her gaze to Lori. Head held high, she padded across the room and didn't hesitate to enter the shower behind Lori.

Lori was her Domme, and they'd worked things out perfectly so that Margaret held the role of sub about fifty percent of the time, basically when they were both home and not working. However, Margaret was taller than Lori by several inches. She easily wrapped herself around Lori and pulled her body back until they both stood under the cascade of hot water nestled together.

Lori watched the steam rise as Margaret held her, feeling as though Margaret were the top and Lori the bottom. That had never been the case for a moment in their relationship. But Lori needed consoling, and she relaxed into Margaret's embrace.

Lori gripped Margaret's forearms where they rested under her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She held on tight, her head hanging. "I'm so sorry. So sorry..."

Margaret kissed her temple and wiped Lori's thick red curls from her face. "It's okay. I'm here." Was that even a good thing? Lori gritted her teeth, afraid anything she said would hurt Margaret deeply.

Margaret rocked Lori back and forth as Lori released her tears and let them slide down her face. Margaret didn't comment. She just held her tighter.

When Lori was spent, she sucked in a long breath and forced a smile. She didn't mention the tears, but she wiggled free of Margaret's grasp, grabbed the shampoo and proceeded to squeeze a line onto her palm. "Kneel," she said as she nodded toward the tile.

Margaret flinched, but she did as she was told, her body conditioned to follow instructions. She kneeled on the hard floor as she had many times, and Lori worked her magic fingers into her scalp.

It felt so good to pamper her sub. Normal. Maybe she could use the daily routine as a way to apologize. When she finished, she helped Margaret stand. "Keep your eyes closed." It wouldn't be hard with shampoo running down her face.

Lori popped the lid of the body soap and smelled the scent of gardenias as she poured it on the loofah. Margaret moaned as Lori gently washed her body. Lori turned her around and took great care caressing the lines that stretched across her back. Normally Lori would comment on how s.e.xy they looked. Tonight she said nothing.

Lori let the loofah roam over Margaret's entire body, caressing even her intimate areas as always. Margaret gripped the wall with both hands when Lori nudged her legs apart and washed her p.u.s.s.y with precision.

"Step under the spray, pet." Lori held Margaret's arm and angled her toward the water.

When Margaret finally opened her eyes, Lori felt more composed. Almost normal.

Lori smiled, flipped off the water and then stepped out of the shower. "I'm exhausted." She grabbed her favorite fluffy towel and wrapped her body in the enormous terry cloth that almost reached the floor.

Margaret followed as Lori moved through her nightly rituals, a lump in her throat making it difficult to complete her routine.

Minutes later, they climbed between the sheets.

Lori pulled Margaret to her chest and held her, stroking her hair, tangling her fingers in the wet locks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Margaret finally asked.

Minutes pa.s.sed. Lori closed her eyes and pondered the question.

Chapter Three.

Lori's brain ran a mile a minute. She couldn't find the words to express what she didn't understand herself. It was late, three in the morning. But she wasn't tired and she knew Margaret wasn't sleeping either.

She needed to open up and spill some of her past. It was the only way. Words she'd never wanted to speak, ones that had no business ever leaving her lips, had to escape. The damage was done. There was no other option that would be fair to Margaret.

Lori licked her lips and steadied her hand in Margaret's hair, holding her lover to her shoulder. Maybe if she didn't have to look her in the eye, it would be easier to talk.

"He was my Dom."

Margaret didn't move or speak, bless her. The only sign she was awake was the way she stroked Lori's belly with the hand she'd flung across her.

"I lived under Jude's charge for two years. He was my...everything." There was no sense sugarcoating it. "I thought...I thought I would be with him for the rest of my life. He's very...overwhelming."

Margaret chuckled gently. "That's an understatement."

Lori smiled. "I fell under his spell quickly when we met. I was young. Twenty-six. He was older. Wiser. Larger than life. And he adored me."

"Did you meet him at Emergence?"

"Yes. He was the head Dom at the club when I first started going there. I was new to the scene. A guppy, he said. I had dabbled in BDSM for several years, but Jason had put me off."

"Why?"

Lori had never told Margaret any of this. She knew the woman was curious. She couldn't blame her. "Jason is like a father to me. You know that part. When my own father died when I was young, he was always there for me, guiding me. He paid my college tuition. He helped me find my first apartment. He did more for me than my own mother."

"Why?"

"He was my dad's best friend. Felt like he owed it to his friend to help make sure his daughter was taken care of."

"And all the while you never knew you had a half sister, right?"

"Oh, I knew. I just hadn't seen her more than a handful of times as a toddler, and when her mother ran off with her, I didn't know how to find her." Stephanie's arrival just months ago, after all those years, still made Lori smile. The woman was a G.o.dsend. Lori loved her to pieces.

"Anyway, Jude was not just a regular at the club, he was the top dog. Jason was still trying to talk me out of the lifestyle when I started attending. He feared he'd influenced me in some way and felt responsible for my 'demise'." Lori smiled into Margaret's hair again.

"Yeah, he was beside himself when Stephanie showed up as a submissive. I can imagine him trying to talk you out of it."

"Also an understatement. So when Jude showed an interest in me, Jason was less than pleased. Jude initially insisted he was just looking out for me, showing me the ropes. I knew better. Jude did too. Jason kept a watchful eye, but I was a consenting adult and made my own choices."

"You moved in with him."

"I did. It happened fast. One day he was teaching me about bondage and the next minute he was topping me himself. We'd been skirting the issue for weeks. I know he tried to keep from falling for me, but it was inevitable, like a chain bound us to each other and we couldn't escape the pull."

"I can see that. He's..."

"Yeah, he's all that...and more." Lori closed her eyes, trying to keep on track. "I lived with him for two years as his submissive. It seemed like the perfect arrangement. He was in the military. I a.s.sume he still is. He never spoke much about it. He worked normal hours most days, with the occasional times when he went away for training ops."

"And you?"

"I...stayed in his home."

"You didn't work?"

"No. I had been working in marketing when we met. My job was demanding, however. I worked long hours for little pay at a small firm. Jude hated how unavailable I was, and then when I got home I was always exhausted and worried about the next day. He wanted more of me and convinced me he made enough money to take care of me.

"He nagged me for weeks until I finally relented and quit my job to become his full-time submissive."

"Wow. I can't picture that from you."

"I'm sure you can't. I've changed. A lot." Haven't I?

Margaret pulled herself free of Lori's clutches and sat up. She tugged the blanket around her naked body and sat cross-legged, facing Lori. "Go on," she encouraged. Nothing in her face said she was angry.

"There isn't much more to tell. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks." Lori felt the flush rise on her cheeks. "I was happy. Ecstatic. I took over Jude's home and ran it like a perfect tight ship. I did everything domestic out of a need to be busy, not because he asked it of me. And when he got home each night, I was available to him.

"He ruled my nights. I ran his home by day."

"And then?"

"And then he came home one day, or some possessed version of him did anyway. He was distraught, running his fingers through his hair, panicked. He said he was tired of the D/s life. It didn't suit him anymore."

Margaret gasped, her jaw hanging open.

"Yeah, I knew he was full of s.h.i.t from the moment he walked in the door. He'd been fine the day before. h.e.l.l, even that morning. There had never been any indication he didn't want me anymore." Lori lifted her arms and speared her fingers into her hair. Memories of that day would haunt her for the rest of her life. Dragging them to the surface could be her undoing.

"He darted around the house like a lunatic, not himself at all. I stood in one spot, naked the entire time, and watched him toss things around while he ranted about how he didn't want me anymore and needed s.p.a.ce.

"I didn't realize what he was doing, but all the while he was packing. He filled several suitcases with his most important belongings and set them by the door."

"You just stood there?"

"What could I do? I didn't know who he was at that moment. My head was swimming and the details were floating around me like an old-time film reel. I don't even think I saw in color."

"G.o.d."

"After he'd packed, he went to his home office. I stood rooted in the living room, where I'd greeted him when he'd entered. I listened as he rummaged around for several minutes. Finally he returned and set a stack of papers on the coffee table. 'Everything you need is here,' he said. 'The house is yours. Do whatever you want with it. The deed is in your name. The car is too.' He didn't even look me in the eye as he walked away.

"He paused for a moment at the door, his fingers on the handle. Without turning around, he said his last words. 'I won't be back. I promise. I'm sorry.'"

"f.u.c.k." Margaret lifted one hand and tentatively set it on Lori's arm.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"What'd you do?"

"I stood there for a long time until it grew dark. When I got too tired and my legs wouldn't hold me up, I lay down on the couch and pulled the afghan around me. Hours went by before I cried. And then I never stopped for the entire night. I lay there sobbing like a baby, unable to comprehend what had happened.

"The next morning Jason showed up. The front door hadn't even been locked. I was still on the couch in a pool of tears and saliva. I barely remember what happened over the next week as Jason dragged me through the process of living."

"How did he know?"

"Jude told him. He texted him and told him to take care of me. Then he must have destroyed that phone because no one was ever able to contact him on it again."

Lori took a deep breath. It felt good. Better than she expected. Getting that story off her chest and out in the open purged her of some of the pain. She'd never shared the tale with anyone. Jason was the only person alive who knew any of the details. Others at the club had known Jude left town, but none were privy to the nitty-gritty.

"I'm so sorry," Margaret said.