Alcaeus, the famous poet, never sat down to compose tragedy till he was tipsy. The disciples of the great Paracelsus took the opportunity, when he was fuddled, to make him dictate. The venerable Messire Francis Rabelais composed over the bottle the acts and jests of Gargantua, and his son Pantagruel, a work which gained him such great reputation.

"Pontius de Thiard, bishop of Chalons sur Saone, had greater obligations to Bacchus than Apollo for his good verses; who, not reckoning what wine he drank all day long, never slept without drinking a pretty large bottle[11]." So true is it, that

"A la fontaine ou s'enyvre Boileau Le grand Corneille et le sacre troupeau De ces auteurs que l'on ne trouve guere Un bon rimeur doit boire a pleine eguyere, S'il veut donner un bon tour au rondeau[12]."

At that rich fountain where the great Boileau, Corneille, Racine, to whom so much we owe, Th' immortal Dryden, and the sacred band Of those bright authors, whom we cannot find, Whose names, (so does oblivion's power command,) Alas! we no where know, Supp'd largely to inebriate their mind.

Here a good versifier, fond of rhime, Should swill, to make his jingling couplets chime.

From hence, good natur'd B----d, arose your flame, Hence your inimitable numbers came, When you so prais'd his house and Buckingham.

And certainly Cicero was much in the wrong, when he said, that "what people do when they are drunk, is not done with the same approbation as if they were sober; they hesitate, and often recall themselves, and frame a weaker judgment of what they see[13]." But had he consulted experience, he would have found that drunkenness, far from making people fearful, inspires them with boldness and temerity.

[Footnote 1: Vinum acuit ingenium.]

[Footnote 2: Vinum ingenii fomes.]

[Footnote 3: Hist. des. vii. sag. p. 123.]

[Footnote 4: Non idem sapere possunt qui aquam et qui vinum bibunt.]

[Footnote 5: Resp. aux Quest. d'un Prov. t. i. ch. 12.]

[Footnote 6: Sive Platoni credimus, frustra poetices fores compos sui pepulit. Non potest grande aliquid et supra caeteros loqui nisi mota mens.]

[Footnote 7: 1 Ep. xix. 3.]

[[Footnote 7a: Ovid, _Ex Ponto_ IV.ii.25-26.]]

[Footnote 8: La Motte, Ode Pind. 1.]

[Footnote 9: Ode 2. Pindar.]

[Footnote 10: Ep. xix. 7.]

[Footnote 11: Menagiana, t. i. p. 384.]

[Footnote 12: ---- p. 189.]

[Footnote 13: Ne vinolenti quidem quae faciunt qua' sobrii, hesitant, revocant se interdum, usque quae videntur, imbecillius a.s.sentiuntur. Acad. Quest. lib. 4.]

CHAP. VI.

THAT WINE MAKES ONE ELOQUENT.

What wretch so dull, but eloquent must grow, When the full goblets with persuasive wine, Inebriate with bright eloquence divine?

Faecundi calices quem non fecere disertum?[a]

Let us make a few commentaries on this verse of Horace.

We read, that "the sages of Portugal having undertaken to convert those of Melinda, gained as much upon them by wine as by reason, which, in the end, facilitated the conquest of the whole country[1]."

To draw a consequence from this, we say, That one must reasonably believe, that wine gave those sages an eloquence necessary to convert the people of Melinda, and them a necessary penetration to discover the truth through the thick veils of their ignorance.

Books of travels farther inform us, that "the priests of the kingdom of Tibet, whom they call Lamas, drink a good quant.i.ty of wine on their days of fasting and devotion, that they may have, to use their own words, the tongue prompt and ready to say their orisons[2]."

According to this doctrine, Palingenius was much in the wrong to say, that wine makes churchmen uncapable to perform the duties of their function.

Nec bene tractabit vinosus sacra sacerdos[3].

No priest, who tipples wine that's good, Will do his duty as he should.

Surely our author never conversed much with the religious. The friers would have told him, they never perform their office without taking a choir cup. Experto crede Roberto, as the saying is. There is no false Latin in this, says a good monk to me once upon a time, drawing from under his ca.s.sock a double flask. You are much in the right on't, brother Peter, said I, I believe as the church believes, and so--my service to you, and here's to the pious memory of St. Boniface. And indeed the vehicle proved capaciously orthodox.

In relation to what hath been said I shall add a remark of the famous M. Bayle. "It cannot be denied," says he, "that the christians of Europe are subject to two great vices, drunkenness and lewdness. The first of these reigns in cold countries, the other in hot. Bacchus and Venus share these two climates between them. We find that the reformation having divided this portion of christianity, that part which was subject to Venus continues as it was, but the greatest part of what was subject to Bacchus has renounced popery[4]."

But you will say, what coherence has this remark with the matter in question? Have a little patience, and you shall presently see the application. I say then, that a thorough true blue hearty Protestant would conclude from this quotation, that wine bestowed so much eloquence and penetration to these northern people, as to put them into that happy state, to discover the truth, and conquer all prejudices against it whatsoever. But of this enough.

Pon, pon; pata pon: tara rara, pon pon[5].

[[Footnote a: Horace, _Epistulae_ I.v.19. (_Same pa.s.sage as note 2:9b._)]]

[Footnote 1: Rem. sur Rabel. t. i. lib. 1. cap. 5.]

[Footnote 2: Divers. cur.]

[Footnote 3: Lib. iii. p. m. 43.]

[Footnote 4: Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1163.]

[Footnote 5: Racine.]

CHAP. VII.

THAT WINE ACQUIRES FRIENDS, AND RECONCILES ENEMIES.

Friendship is a good so precious and valuable, and at the same time so very rare, that one cannot take too much care in order to procure it.

The most efficacious means to do this is feasting. It is by eating and drinking together that conversation becomes more easy and familiar; and, to use the words of Monsieur de la Mothe le vayer, "We hold, that table communion unites people's very souls, and causes the strictest friendships." Unde Philotetius Crater[1]. And, in reality, can any thing be more agreeable and engaging, than to take a friendly bottle in pleasant and delightful company?

And therefore Cleomedes had great reason to say, "Take away the pleasures of the table, where we open ourselves so agreeably to each other, and you rob us of the sweetest cordial of human life[2]." This was also the sentiment of Cicero, in his Book of old Age; of Aristotle, in his Ethics; and Plutarch, in his Questions. Let who will, then, look on trencher friends to be false, and say with those of whom Ovid makes mention,