During the dissection of the first Phinon, as soon as it had died, the researchers had noticed that the "baby" was fighting to escape from the body, primarily by eating its way out. Flesh or steel bone made no difference-its mouth parts secreted a powerful fluid that dissolved anything in the way. Although certain that the escape had been prompted by the death of the "parent," it had been unclear to the witnesses whether or not the baby didn't normally try to leave the adult body this way when it was born. Given the prodigious regenerative powers of the Phinon physiology, they might have been witnessing a typical Phinon joyous moment.

If the Phinons know what joy is. Sometimes I wonder if I even know anymore. Sammi continued to watch the baby Phinon, but she was mentally adrift, not quite knowing what to think, not quite knowing what to do with herself. She was a bit disgusted with herself for finding the baby alien "cute," given what its species was about to do to her own race, but it could hardly be blamed for that.

The meeting had only been that morning, but somehow she couldn't accept the idea that her work was all done. She had promised Knoedler that she'd "whip up her best batch" of genanites by tomorrow for loading into the biomines, but even that was really nothing more than a few keystrokes on her keyboard. There was no further tweaking to be done, although she could do some if she wanted to. Make the Phinons turn blue before they die? That was a trivial DNA side attachment. Make the Phinons die even faster? Could be done, but not worth the effort.

Put in a self-destruct code so the genanites don't go on killing forever?

That was the question plaguing her, and it had been for months, though she wouldn't admit it to herself. It had been fun playing revenge fantasies through her mind in the months since Steve had died, but she'd been avoiding the real question, and now she couldn't anymore.

Sammi left the baby Phinon to its investigations. Had she been free to leave the High Command, she might have gone back to Luna City. Or maybe to the cemetery. But she couldn't go. She was too valuable for Knoedler to risk her leaving the safety of the complex, at least until the attack fleet was away. She went to the one place where she always went to think at the High Command-the observation bubble.

This time the view looked threatening. Out there somewhere was the Phinon fleet, turning toward the Earth-Luna system. If her bugs didn't prompt them to flee, then the Earth was lost. But even if the Phinons destroyed the Earth, the Phinons were dead in the ultimate Pyrrhic victory.

The Earth was so beautiful hanging there in the diamond-dusted velvet of the sky, but Sammi couldn't help but overlap the view with images from the destruction of the Jovian worlds. Live in tunnels until we could defeat the Phinons? Fat chance. There weren't going to be any tunnels left anywhere down there if the Phinons had their way about it. But win or lose, the Phinons would die anyway, and she recalled the holotank image of the galaxy going dark that she'd set up to amuse herself.

Somehow, it doesn't seem as satisfying now. Five thousand years from now, on some planet . . . or rather, in some comet . . . on the other side of the galaxy, the last Phinon is going to collapse as its bones rust away. And it will never know why. And it will never know that I did it, nor that it was the last victim of a long-ago war, nor what the outcome was.

It was all so desperate and romantic and tragic. And real-don't forget that! Again she looked out at the stars, and wondered which if any of those she could see was Alpha Centauri, which Tau Ceti, which Epsilon Eridani. Three passenger ships equipped with the hyperdrive would be heading for those stars before the Phinon wave arrived. It would take over two months for the first ship to arrive at Alpha Centauri, and it was certain that the Phinons would occupy the Oort cloud of that star. Given Dykstra's understanding of the Phinon evolution, the time scale almost mandated that they had the entire galaxy filled up by now.

No place to run but to isolated islands inside Hague Limits, hoping the Phinons won't notice them so they can keep humanity going. And maybe even come back to rebuild here. That too was romantic and tragic.

Sammi heard the door slide open behind her. She was certain it had to be Chris. Who else would come up here at a time like this? But when she turned to look she was surprised to see that it was Paula who was entering the observation bubble.

Oh no, not Miss Bouncy-wouncy, Sammi thought. Even as she thought it she knew she was being unfair for she didn't know anything about the girl and, although they'd been introduced, had never even had a conversation with her. The flow of Paula's figure was the only thing Sammi was basing her opinion of the woman on, and she rather liked assuming that Paula was better defined by her body than her brains.

"Oh, hi," Paula said, noticing her. "Rick said I should come up here some time. I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"You're not," Sammi assured her. "I just came up here to look at the stars and sort some things out."

"That's why I came, too," Paula said. She walked to the side of the dome and peered out into the deep.

"Hard to believe this may be one of the last times any of us ever see Earth."

"Yeah," Sammi said.

"Rick sometimes calls you 'Sunshine.' May I ask how you got the nickname?"

Isn't it obvious, you . . . Sammi thought, then stopped herself. Is it obvious? Do I even smile anymore? I used to be fun. I used to be spontaneous. What happened to the person who had that nickname, anyway? Even Chris hardly calls me "Sunshine" anymore. "I got it for my smile. But I haven't been smiling much lately."

"I can understand that," Paula said. "I should be deliriously happy myself. I love Rick Vander Kam. Did you know that? He's everything I've ever wanted in man, and I knew it instantly. I know, some people think I'm only after him for his money. I can understand why they would. But I don't care. I really don't."

"Is that what you came here to think about?" Sammi asked. She also had wondered about Paula's motives with respect to Rick, but for now she figured listening to Paula would take her mind off her own thoughts.

"That and other things. He told me a little while ago about what was decided at that meeting you were all at. And about the call for volunteers . . ." Paula turned away from her and resumed looking at the sky.

"You're going to volunteer to pilot a skiff? What did Rick say?"

"I haven't told him yet. But what else am I supposed to do? I'm a good pilot. Am I just supposed to sit on my hands while the Phinons try to kill us? Either your genanites turn them aside or they don't. I've never been one to just sit around and wait to see what happens-Rick could tell you that. The least I can do is try to deliver them to target."

And now we're back to my bugs, Sammi thought sadly. So much for a change of subject. What am I doing up here? Looking for the girl who used to be? Looking for Sunshine MacTavish? Sunshine never had the fate of humanity resting on her shoulders.

"So how does it feel to have the fate of the Phinons resting on your shoulders?" Paula asked, interrupting Sammi's thought. "The way Rick told me, if we can infect them, even if they don't flee, they're dead."

The fate of the Phinons?

"Didn't you mean to say the fate of humanity?"

"I'd say that's on a lot of shoulders. Even mine once I volunteer," Paula answered. "Where would we be without you or Dykstra or Arie or my Rick?

"Oh, how am I going to tell him?"

It was clear to Sammi that Paula had not thought too deeply about the implications of what she'd said, but just saying it had been enough. What had Chris said, practically at the beginning? That our actions will be judged before God and history. I know what I've been planning to do. But what would Sunshine do?

Sammi left Paula to bounce her thoughts off the stars and took the elevator down. She wandered the halls a while, then found herself drawn to the lowest floors, all the way down to the Phinon cage. Although the floor of the theater had been scrubbed, she was sure she could still detect the sour smell of vomit.

She shuddered as she recalled the Phinon dying. She wondered what it had been thinking about just before it died. Its mate had been taken away. Maybe it had been wondering about him. Steve had been thinking about her just before he . . .

Without any warning at all, she felt the tears flow into her eyes, then somehow she was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall and sobbing uncontrollably. At Martha's she had expected to do some crying, and now as she wailed into the empty tunnel, a part of her mocked her for fooling herself. That had been no catharsis-she'd lied to Martha even as she was leaving her place.

Sunshine would not have done that.

But this time Sammi had not been ready. This time the numbed soul inside her would not stay numbed. This time the throat of the black hole she'd been funneling her feelings down choked on the overload of emotions too long ignored, and the resulting explosion of grief left behind a naked singularity.

From which could emerge whichever Samantha MacTavish she allowed.

She picked herself up off the floor, found her way to the restroom and cleaned herself up, and took the elevator back up. The door opened and she almost collided with someone as she stepped out. "Oh, sorry-" She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Bob. I didn't know it was you."

"That's okay, Sammi. By the way, are you okay?" he asked, smiling at his little rhyme.

Why don't you call me "Sunshine" anymore? "I guess," Sammi said. "I still have to go process a fresh batch of genanites for the mines. I don't want Andy to have to do it alone. And he's got to pack. He's going on the ship to Alpha Centauri with copies of the records of our work.

"It's impossible, but I wish I could forget about the whole damn Phinon business for even just one moment."

"Maybe there's something I can do about that," Nachtegall said.

"Maybe there is, Bob." She stared at him for a few seconds, taking in his noble face and golden hair,

then put her arms around him and kissed him in a way she had kissed no one since Steve had left for the Patrol.

Upon resurfacing, Bob said, "I was actually thinking more of dinner and a show . . . ."

"No. That's okay," Sammi said. "That was the moment I needed. Thank you. But I have things I have to do now."

She left him standing there, flabbergasted, and walked away thinking, Sunshine is back.

XIV.

Lieutenant Robert Nachtegall looked out across the underground acres of the High Command space docks and, though he'd seen the vast array of ships many times in the last several days, he still marveled at the number. There were streakbombers and fighters from the System Patrol, equivalent craft from the Belt, and also from the Belt, ancient but upgraded Hawk- and Mosquito-class ships that no doubt dated from the days of the War of Independence. In all there were over 200 ships occupying space in the docks, and of those, 134 that would actually engage the Phinon fleet, half of them mated skiffs.

Bob would pilot a streakbomber, yet again. He'd been given the lead ship. But it wasn't clear that meant anything more than that his ship would be the first to leave. And flying along with him would be Paula to pilot the skiff. He knew that she'd had a tremendous fight with Rick over her volunteering for such hazardous duty. Of course, given the situation, staying home in bed is just about as hazardous, he thought.

The ships would be leaving in less than two hours. Bob was already wearing his flight suit, but plenty of people had turned out to see them all off, and it was time to say his good-byes.

He spotted a group of oddly outfitted men, and decided they must be pilots from the Belt. Then he noticed that one of them was Reggie Dukes. Their nemesis from Jupiter had turned out to be an all-right kind of guy after all, and Bob was proud that his instinct to let the man board had worked out well-Reggie had volunteered for skiff duty.

Someone clapped him on the shoulder from behind. Bob turned. The face was familiar, but . . . oh! "Captain Brinn. Of course. I heard you were on Luna."

"Not long now, Lieutenant," Brinn said. "Good luck."

"It's not long for you either I hear. Your liner breaks orbit only a few hours after the fleet leaves," Bob said.

"That's right. I'll survive this thing regardless. Somehow that isn't all that comforting," Brinn said. "But I hear Tau Ceti is nice this time of year."

Of the three spaceliners that had been outfitted with hyperdrives, Captain Brinn had been selected to command the ship headed for Tau Ceti. The liner would take along her usual crew, but filling the passenger slots would be scientists from both the Mars Terraforming Project and the Phinon Project, their families, and then others selected by lottery from Luna City.

If Bob's group was successful, then Brinn and his crew would still perform a valuable survey. If Bob's group failed. . . . At any rate, they'd be trans-Hague Limit and in hyperspace before the engagement with the Phinons took place. If no one from Earth showed up within a week of their arrival at Tau Ceti, they'd know there was no point in going back.

Bob noticed Sammi talking to an older couple near the dock entry doors. The woman was rather large and soft looking, and Bob decided she must be Sammi's friend Martha. Brinn moved on, but Bob was hesitant to go over and talk to Sammi. Despite the kiss in the hallway, that very evening he'd tried to contact her, but failed. This was the first he'd seen her since then. But then the decision was taken away from him for Sammi spotted him herself, flashed her famous smile-How long has it been since I've seen that?-and waved for him to join them.

Sammi looked beautiful, as finely finished as he hadn't seen her since the day he had taken her to meet Chris for the first time. Something had changed inside her recently, he decided, and she was becoming her old self again. "Martha and Ted, this is Lieutenant Robert Nachtegall," she said as he joined them. "I've told you about Martha, Bob. We worked together on the Mars Terraforming Project. Ted is her husband," Sammi said, making introductions.

Ted just nodded but Martha said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Lieutenant. Sunshine has told me a lot about you. Too bad the circumstances couldn't be brighter."

Bob just shrugged and smiled. "But that's out of our hands, I'm afraid. But Sammi, why don't you go along on the liner? You still can, you know. You belonged to both Projects."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Sammi said, but if she had anything to add after that she didn't get a chance to say it because two other men suddenly called to her.

"Samantha! Hey, it's us, Mike and Terry." The two came over and each gave her a warm hug. After some chatter Sammi finally got around to introducing Bob.

"Mike and Terry were Steve's best friends," she said. "They were all suicide orbiteers together."

"That's right," Mike said. "And by the way, Sammi, thanks for sending that post along about how Steve really died. I'm glad we finally got to know the truth." Sammi had written down the account and sent it to all whom she thought would want to know once the secrecy about the Phinons was lifted.

"I wanted everyone to know," she said. "But what are you guys doing here anyway?"

"Lotto winners," Terry said. "Both of us. Must be fate."

A klaxon sounded and Ted gave Martha a nudge. "That's for us, dear. The shuttle up to our liner. We'd better get moving." There were some more hurried good-byes and farewells, more hugs and some kisses, and then after a few moments, just Bob and Sammi standing together.

"Where are the others?" Sammi asked. "Chris? Rick? Nikki? And how has she been lately?"

"Chris and Rick should be along soon. Nikki was still depressed last I saw her. She wanted to volunteer for skiff duty. But Knoedler wouldn't let her and said he needed her to come with him to Mercury. God only knows why. Even Chris doesn't know. But the colonel apparently has at least one other card up his sleeve. Either that or he suddenly turned coward."

"You don't believe that?"

"Nah. Not the colonel. Anyway, Nikki was spitting flames when they left yesterday. That by itself may have been the best thing for her," Bob said. Then he spotted their friends across the dock and waved. "There's Rick and Paula," he said.

The two watched as Rick and Paula, holding hands, made their way around and over the cables and equipment snaking through and cluttering the docks. "How did Rick take it when Paula said she was going to volunteer as skiff pilot?"

"You knew about that? Rick went through the roof but he didn't have an adequate argument to change her mind. Then I suppose she batted her eyes and a few other things and he shut up about it."

"I'm sorry I ever called her 'Miss Bouncy-wouncy,' " Sammi said. "I don't think I could have volunteered for that job."

"Sammi. Hi!" Rick said. "I'm glad you're staying at the High Command."

"I had some good-byes to say. And even though my work is done, where else was I going to watch from? I hear you did volunteer, Paula."

"Nothing like looking at the stars to clear your thinking," Paula replied. Bob didn't know what the two women were referring to, and he didn't ask.

Then Rick asked earnestly, "She's going with you, right, Bob? Paula is riding out in your ship?"

Sammi raised an eyebrow at that, Bob noticed, and he smiled inside. "That's right. I owe you, Rick. You saved my ass. I'll do my best to keep Paula's out of trouble."

"Well, what a fine couple of cavemen you two are," Paula observed. "Samantha, will you make sure Rick doesn't hurt himself while I'm gone?"

"Why certainly," Sammi said, picking up the jest. "And I'll make sure he eats well and dresses himself properly, too."

"I've never found gallows humor funny," Rick said, but then he put his arm around Paula and held her to him tight.

They were all quiet for a moment, not knowing what else to say, when Sammi spotted the one man most dear to them all. "There's Chris," she said.

Dykstra was standing by the entrance to the docks, walking stick held firmly, solidly planted on the floor just in front of him. Bob remembered how Dykstra had looked in his apartment all those months ago when he'd sent them off on their illegal mission to capture some Phinons. Like a king at court, he'd looked then, confident that his cause was just and his views the right ones. Bob wondered what the old genius was thinking at this moment, for the activity at the docks would not be taking place right now had it not been for him. Nor would there have been any hope for survival from the approaching onslaught had the great man not been with them.

And Bob remembered the morning when he'd picked Dykstra up at his home in the mountains and whisked him here to the High Command, recalled the struggles they'd gone through together against the small-mindedness of Major Moore, the triumph of Dykstra when he'd puzzled out the workings of the Phinon hyperdrive, the joy in the man as he'd helped assemble the Hyperlight at the Capitol Products black docks.

This is Dykstra's war, Bob thought. Without him, there would have been no war, just a few months of extermination.

Dykstra spotted Sammi's wave and strode over to them. "My friends," he said. "We've come a long way these past months, haven't we?"

"A long way we could not have come without you," Rick said. "You're the whole reason we're all here now," he continued, Rick's words paralleling Bob's thoughts. "Without the hyperdrive, and the new drive, and your understanding of the Phinons, we'd just be ducks in a pond, waiting for the buckshot."

"But we still don't know if it's enough, Rick. Don't forget that," Dykstra said.

"He's right though, Chris. Without you, we'd be witnessing the end of humanity right now," Sammi chimed in.

"You're all embarrassing me," he said. "Without all of you, without your faith and courage, despite anything I could do we'd still all be dead. Strip away all the technology, all the fancy gadgets and brilliant strategies. In the end what will save us are our best qualities, our self-sacrificing, our love for each other. These are things about which the Phinons know nothing. I want you all to remember that these next few days.

"Now, may I see your ship, Lieutenant?"