Dream Star - 342 I Still Care Bu
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342 I Still Care Bu

"I still care a lot about you; you're still very dear to me. But," Lila muttered, "I really don't want to hurt Haruka; that's why I also think I should try harder at just being friends with you."

"The connection and engagement," he reminded her. It's not like he was saying this to pressure her or anything; in fact, it was the complete opposite. Kiryu brought this up because

"If you don't mind, can we leave it for now? As long as I break it before I turn eighteen, then n.o.body else can complain, and you won't get a new fiance."

Kiryu knew what she was trying to say, 'you still have time to move on from me, time to fall for somebody else,' Kiryu is glad that she didn't say it out loud. It would break his heart more.

----

Lila was glad to escape from that situation; she knew she shouldn't have opened her big mouth. But, when Kiryu brought up the engagement and the connection, she knew she had to bring it up. It wouldn't be right of her to dismiss talking about it. The person that summoned her surprisingly was, "s.h.i.+chiro," Lila called out.

Nakara s.h.i.+chiro, a member of the G.o.d5 and Kiryu's best friend. The two of them were excellent friends, and even when she went on her journey. s.h.i.+chiro sent her daily messages, even though she couldn't reply to them.

"Hey."

"Um," Lila said, confused, "Here I am?"

s.h.i.+chiro smiled, "I figured I ought to talk to you since you know it will be awkward when you visit the school."

Her sweat fell, "Please don't remind me," in the next two days she would revisit the school. Lila still hadn't settled her heart on that yet. She was fully aware of how much things have changed. When Kiryu showed her around the town, Lila understood how quickly the pa.s.sage of time was.

"Did you need something? I mean, is it urgent?"

"For you, it is."

"Eh?"

"Talk to me about Kiryu," s.h.i.+chiro said, and her eyes widened, "I mean, you can't exactly go around talking to Karas.h.i.+ma about your current feelings towards your ex?"

"s.h.i.+chiro, I.."

"Unlike Kasumi, I am not going to over-a.n.a.lyze your situation, or freak out. I'm taking a neutral stance here. Kiryu is my best friend but your also a good friend to me Lila. If you genuinely don't like Kiryu anymore, then I'll support your decision."

Lila recalled what she just said to Kiryu moments ago. She said those harsh words about not being in love with him anymore. But that is a lie, not in love? Her heart still beats when she thinks about Kiryu; whenever she's near him, she recalls everything she liked about him. It all comes rus.h.i.+ng back, even though she built up that resolve for such a long time.

s.h.i.+chiro must have understood since he walked over and stood opposite her. He patted her hair, "I thought as much."

"But, I know. I really love Haruka," otherwise she wouldn't have changed her mind and accepted his proposal.

"I can see that as well. What you need to do is change the relations.h.i.+p you have with Kiryu. Create new memories as friends, and things will naturally fall to place."

"s.h.i.+chiro, that sounds very logical and all. But friends? Me and Kiryu have never been friends."

"And whose fault is that?"

Whose fault is it, "Me?" Lila murmured. From day one, she was very clingy towards Kiryu, and things spiraled out of control when they entered middle school.

"Exactly, so you can't complain. Or what, you're telling me that Kiryu didn't hold back? Are you saying it was he who urged things to get intimate? No, correct? It was all you," while that was the truth, his words still stung.

"s.h.i.+chiro, you're too harsh. Be more like Ameno-senpai."

"Ameno dotes on you too much, somebody has to be blunt with you," s.h.i.+chiro trailed off, "I know nothing about you and Karas.h.i.+ma. Frankly speaking, I'd rather not know. But the only reason why is not because I want you to return to Kiryu or anything, but it's simply because I can see how happy he makes you."

"Haruka makes me very happy. That's true," but the two of them have their fair share of problems. No sooner had they started dating, they went to London for the tournament. When they were in London, it was easy to ignore everything - the issue with Kiryu, the two of them being enemies, etc. They could just be themselves, and while they encountered issues there, they could resolve it after talking it through. Her life in London with Haruka was very good, and one day she would like to go back there with him, "But, if happiness is all a relations.h.i.+p needs, then wouldn't I still be with Kiryu?"

If all she needed is happiness, then she would still be dating Austin Kiryu. After all, Kiryu treated her so well, and he only cared for her. Despite Rosalichan's advances, Kiryu only saw her as a friend, but even then he felt uncomfortable. When Rosalichan harmed her, 'that was the last straw' in Kiryu's words. Kiryu was there for her during the darkest moments.

"Kiryu has always been by my side; he's helped me out so much. You know back then I was in pain about a lot of things, about Mother, about Father, about Ren-san, about my sister - about my relations.h.i.+ps with others. Singing was the only way I could convey everything, but I wouldn't have been able to sing if it weren't for Kiryu. If Kiryu weren't there beside me, I would not have gotten this far."

"So that's how it was, did you hear enough?" s.h.i.+chiro replied. But Lila quickly realized that those words were not for her and that he was looking straight past her.

Kiryu stood in the doorway, and Lila covered her mouth, "Leave us for now, s.h.i.+chiro."

s.h.i.+chiro nodded and quickly left without saying a word, as Kiryu made her way over. Each of his footsteps felt like an eternity to her.

What Kiryu did next surprised her, or maybe it didn't. He pulled her into his arms, "No, let go…"

Kiryu shook his head, "Quit being stubborn; honestly, this isn't easy for me. But it's not any easier for you. I'm aware that what you said to me was a lie and that you would not be sincere. So I asked s.h.i.+chiro to call you out here."

Lila's eyes widened when she realized this, "You tricked me; let me go."

"Lila."

"..."

"Please, let me go," Lila muttered. She doesn't, doesn't want to think of Kiryu so dearly anymore. Because whenever she does, the memories of when they broke up with each other would flash through her head, "It's too painful."

Kiryu's arms tightened around her, "I know, and I won't apologize for what happened that time. I won't give any excuses; I know full well that I made a mistake."

'Why did you let me go,' Lila thought? He still isn't giving her an answer to that. He still isn't telling her anything. At least after a certain period, Haruka tells her the truth. But, Kiryu is always hiding things from her. Does he think she won't understand? She isn't stupid or as clueless as she once was.

"Let me go, jerk, idiot! I hate you," Lila exclaimed. This whole time, since meeting him again. Lila tried to act normal around him. Really she did, she wanted to ensure that everybody saw that nothing had really changed. Whether they broke up or not, they could still get along with each other. But the reality? Reality is fierce. Deep down a part of her was resentful towards Kiryu. He left her, even though she wanted to say. She would have abandoned everything to stay with him, and yet he let her go.

He let her go, even though she still loved him so deeply back then. Lila isn't exactly sure whether she still had feelings for him or not. Because whenever she tries to figure it out, she would remember what happened back then. It's too painful to talk about.

Kiryu's lips brushed across her eyelids, he gently kissed them, before he moved to her nose and cheek before he lightly pressed his lips against hers, "Even if you hate me, I will always love you, Teras.h.i.+ma Lila. Ever since we met when we were four years old, you were the only girl for me."

'Why me?' She wanted to scream at him. Why her? There are so many girls who love him, so many who would do anything for his sake. Why does he strongly insist on being with somebody like her?

"You know, I think we've gone through this already. Or did you forget because it's been a while?"

"Kiryu, I'm not a good person," she murmured.

Kiryu smiled, "That doesn't matter to me, to me, you'll always be beautiful, kind and adorable."

"But I can't return your feelings."

"Ssh, that doesn't matter now."

It doesn't? Really? But isn't it painful for him?