"What?"

"Are you angry at me?" Lila asked him upfront. From the very start, she was not the type to whitewash her words.

A deep sigh pa.s.sed Haruka's lips, "Who wouldn't be angry?"

"Im angry at you too, for kissing that girl."

"Not this again, I thought you understood," Haruka looked more troubled than before. However, Lila would not let this subject drop, while it may have looked like she let him get away with it. It was only for a few days; she knew his temper quite well. So she waited for a moment like this to emerge.

Lila looked at him with a serious expression, "Turn around?"

Haruka sighed, but did as she asked, "Do we have to talk about this again?"

"Yes," Lila trailed off, "The day after you saw her again, right?" Haruka seemed surprised at her words, but Lila continued and gave him no room to speak, "After practicing for two hours. I realized you forgot your lunchbox and went to find you. Itsuki-san told me you went out back for a smoke break, and I found you with that girl," she paused as she recalled how she was immediately suspicious. Lila did not lie when she told Yori that she trusted him, but at the same time, she was cautious.

"You want to know what happened? I apologized for the kiss."

"But?"

"She told me how afterward how she couldn't stop thinking about it, and then told me how she realized how much of a good guy I was during our conversation," Haruka stopped as he ran his hand through his hair. The silence made Lila panic, is it like Yori said after all? Did something happen between them? Is she really this naive? As these thoughts ran through her head, Lila noticed how Haruka's expression remained the same, "Then she kissed me and said she wouldn't give up on me."

They kissed again? What's more, this time, that girl kissed him? How does Haruka feel about that kiss? That's the only thing he said, and yet Lila felt herself getting dizzy, just picturing

Haruka must have noticed since he picked her up, "Let me down, I'm angry at you,"

"Yeah, but the same goes for me," Haruka said.

The same goes for him, huh? That may be the case, but at least all she did was answer a phone call from her ex-boyfriend. It's not like there is any rule stating she can't talk to him, besides almost two months have pa.s.sed since she started dating Haruka. During that time, Lila did not contact Kiryu even once. Aside from that brief meeting at the start of the month, she did not see him.

Lila said no more as Haruka quietly brought her upstairs. The air felt stifling, and while she could have easily broken it if she hugged him like she normally would. But Lila knew if she made any contact with Haruka now, then he would think everything is okay. He would think it's okay and they would end up having s.e.x again. The cycle would repeat, and they'll never end up talking properly. Talking about his past aside, there are many things as a couple they don't talk about.

This whole time she hasn't said anything about it, not because she was avoiding it. But because Lila was waiting for Haruka to tell her himself. She was waiting for him to confide in her, but it seems like there is still an issue of trust in this relations.h.i.+p.

It didn't take long before they arrived in the room and Haruka placed her down on the bed, "I'm angry," Lila repeated as he loosened his s.h.i.+rt.

"Really? You're angry?" Haruka muttered as he brought his lips to her ear, she s.h.i.+vered as she felt her body grow hot. Lila frantically shook her head, "Don't be stubborn dearest,"

"You can't keep doing this Haruka. Were in a relations.h.i.+p, we have to share these things - a relations.h.i.+p is two people and not one," Lila exclaimed, "Why can't we just talk?"

"I thought you liked being held by me, was I wrong? Am I still losing out to that guy?"

"This has nothing to do with Kiryu."

"But he is the reason why I'm angry at you."

Lila was speechless, why is this guy so bull-headed and stubborn for? All he has to do is have a proper talk with her, and yet he is acting like an idiot. Lila felt her heart was shattering as his gaze turned cold. The two of them are dating now, their relations.h.i.+p has significantly improved since his birthday, since coming to London - so why does he still have such cold eyes?

'Nothing to do with Kiryu,' Lila immediately regretted her words. The only reason he is mad is because of Kiryu, and deep down Haruka is most likely insecure about their relations.h.i.+p. Otherwise, she is sure he would have pushed away all those girls by now. The reason why he feels the need to keep them close by is because of his insecurity. Didn't she notice that a long time ago? Deep down, she noticed it. Every single time Haruka held her in his arms.

"Besides you," Haruka paused before he shook his head, "I'm very tired of this already Lila. I spent so long trying to gain your heart again and s.n.a.t.c.hing you away from him. However, a few days back, no since we came to London, I realized that things hadn't changed at all. Your songs will always contain your feelings for him and the memories you two shared. No matter how much you try to hide it, it will always be there,"

It surprised Lila; she didn't think he would be the one to break the silence. Judging from his tone, however, Haruka had a lot more he wanted to say. But of course, he wouldn't tell her. This always happens whenever they fight. He only tells her half of his concerns and hides the rest of it. What is she supposed to do other than make guesses? While there are those romantic sayings regarding people being able to read their lover's minds. That's just a delusional fantasy. In the end, n.o.body knows or can read what the other person is thinking. Lila understood that very well.

Lila took a deep breath before she called out to him, "Haruka,"

"What?"

"I'm going to j.a.pan not just to clear up the scandal but to severe my connection with Kiryu," Lila said.

Haruka's eyes widened, and she knew she surprised him. It was genuinely painful for Lila to do this, but after much thought, this was the only conclusion she could come up with. Kiryu was the first one to turn his back on her. On the other hand, Haruka waited for her, even when she was with Kiryu, he waited - he never turned his back on her even once. She disliked comparing the two, but Lila knew she would have to conclude. She didn't just use this to decide though, Lila followed it. The voice in her heart.

Sensing his silence, Lila looked at him. He had long since pulled away from him and saw what she couldn't before it was something covered so well covered in so many layers preventing people from seeing it. The last remains of the wall Haruka had put between the two was crumbling right before her eyes. Lately, Lila noticed it was slowly disappearing, the wall. He was letting her into his heart slowly but surely, and yet there was still something wrong. Whatever that something was had completely vanished, the only thing that remained was precisely what she wanted to see.

The true Karas.h.i.+ma Haruka, the one she has wanted to see this whole time. Is this really what she wanted to see this whole time? To see Haruka's strong side crumble right before her very eyes. He looked beyond broken, sadness, loneliness, grief, and longing on his face. The more Lila looked at him, the more she knew she didn't like it. She didn't like seeing Haruka like this.

Who would want to see their loved one so broken?