Ah. But what was her mood? She wanted stimulation as well as comfort. Perhaps the rainforest: greenery and creatures. She focused on selection 3 and squeezed the controller.

The menu image faded, leaving a cyan afterglow. She waited. Then she realized that she was hearing something. Or feeling it. It was the sound, or the sensation anyway, of falling rain, gently drumming rain.

There was no wetness, but a softly rhythmic concussion surrounding her, as though rain were beating on a roof while she sat snugly inside, listening.

Almost, she could imagine a tropical forest outside, soaking up the rain ...

Soft and shadowy shapes were beginning to emerge from the blue-green glow. As though a fine mist were clearing around her, she began to see first the outlines, then the full forms of trees and shrubs. The mist disappeared altogether. She was standing in a place of shelter, looking out at a riot of greenery, the lush fullness of a rainforest, completely surrounding her. The gentle drumming of rain continued a little longer; then even that subsided and a glow of sunshine swelled down from the sky to take its place. The invisible shelter seemed to open and set her free, and a breeze full of chlorophyll and earth caressed her face.

She wondered if she could walk here. As the thought crossed her mind, she found herself gliding across the tiny clearing, floating like a spirit. As she pa.s.sed a tree, she saw rainwater streaming off the ends of its broad green leaves. Perched on the upper part of a large leaf was a small orange-toed, red-eyed, iridescent-green froglike creature. It watched her without moving, except for its throat fluttering in and out. Overhead, a group of birds screeched and flapped their multihued wings against the sky. Jael squinted at them for a moment, then moved on. In front of her, two large blue-and-white-checked b.u.t.terflies pirouetted around each other in midair. She reached out to touch them. They giggled in tinkling voices, then fluttered away. Jael chuckled.

She thought she heard another chuckle, then sensed a movement, in a nearby tree. She turned. A large bird with blazing scarlet and green wings, an enormous golden beak, and bright emerald eyes tilted its head to peer at her. It followed her movement as she approached, then hopped to a lower branch and squawked a welcoming cry. She extended a hand, knuckles up, and the bird gently mouthed her fingers with its open beak. "Aren't you a pretty thing?" she said, thinking that there was something familiar about this bird. It took a moment to make the connection. It reminded her of a bird she had often seen as a child, in a petting zoo near her home. It had been a favorite animal of hers, in a happier time.

"Awwk - yawss," answered the bird brightly.

Startled, Jael cried, "Oh, you talk, do you?"

"Tawwk - tawwk," the bird croaked, winking.

"Ho." Jael grinned and tickled its throat, pleased to be able to touch it. Its throat feathers were silky smooth. "Do you have a name?"The bird winked again. "No name! Nope - awwk!"

Jael studied the bird, tilting her head one way and then the other. The bird mimicked her movements. "I wish I had something to give you, but - " Jael opened her empty hands " - sorry."

"Rawwk! Pocket-t-t - pocket-t-t!"

"What?" Jael reached into her right-hand coat pocket (since when was she wearing a coat?) and felt her hand close on something. She drew it out. It was a cl.u.s.ter of bright purple berries on a stem. "Why, what's this?"

"B-b-berries!" shrieked the bird. It c.o.c.ked its head back and gave an open-beaked cry:"Scraw-w-w!"

It edged along the branch, closer to Jael. "B-b-berries?" it asked, eyeing her hopefully.

"Would you like these?" Jael asked, holding the cl.u.s.ter up for inspection. The berries looked ripe and full.

"P-pleeez!"

Jael smiled and held them out toward the bird. "Here you go."

The creature bent forward and, with surprising delicacy, nibbled a berry loose from the bunch. Jael glimpsed the berry rolling onto its tongue; its beak clacked once, and the berry was gone. "Whaww!" the bird exclaimed joyously, then bent for another.

"Take all you want," Jael offered. She needn't have spoken. Once the creature had started, it made short work of the bunch. Jael tossed the bare stem away and held her hand out again. The bird rubbed against her knuckles, wiping berry juice off its beak. "I'm afraid that's all I have," she said consolingly.

"Arrk - plenty - thankew pleez!" The bird perked its head up suddenly and looked around. "Whooz that?"

Jael turned. "What do you mean?"

"Sorry," she heard, from behind one of the trees. Someone stepped out, raising his hands in apology. It was the Clendornan she had seen in the lounge. "I don't mean to intrude," he called.

Jael stared at him. "Excuse me, but - what are you doing here?"

"Well, I ..." He approached cautiously. "We chose the same environment, it looks like. And - " he looked at the ground, then up again " - the system put me in here with you."

"Is it supposed to do that?" Jael asked, squinting.

The Clendornan tilted his head, turning his silver-blue skinned face; the movement reminded her of the bird's. "That's a little hard to say, actually. It's supposed to be able to tell if both parties want privacy or not." He made a noise reminiscent of throat clearing, except that it overlapped with his next words. "Do you object to my being here? I'll gladly leave. I've no wish to intrude." He made a sighing sound. "It is very peaceful here, isn't it?" His mouth formed into a zigzag shape; she wondered if that was supposed to be a smile.

Jael felt a scowl coming on - and remembered Highwing's parting advice. She was aware of tension growing in the back of her neck. Shehad wanted to be alone, she'd thought. And yet, now, she didn't quite want to send him away. She could always leave herself, she supposed, if it got to bother her. Sheresisted the frown and shrugged. "It's okay. I don't mind."

"Thanks." As the Clendornan glanced around, Jael tried to get a better look at his eyes. They seemed clear and oddly luminous. "My name is Ar," he said, not quite facing her. "What's yours?"

Her breath caught, as she remembered another time when names had been exchanged. She had been the one to speak first. "I - that is,Jael," she stammered. "Jael LeBrae." She froze with embarra.s.sment, then said, "I'm sorry ... you said your name was -"

"Ar." His mouth zigzagged again. "That's A-r, usually, though it actually just means the letter R, which is short for Rarberticandornan, which is my legal Clendornan name. Most people don't even try, they just call me Ar."

"Ar, then." Jael nodded tentatively. "I'd introduce you to my friend here - " she gestured at the bird, which had been quietly hopping about while they'd talked " - except that he doesn't seem to have a -"

"Jayl!"the bird shrieked. It c.o.c.ked its head, peering at her with a wide-eyed expression. "Jayl!"

"That's right," she answered, then glanced back at Ar. "He's very friendly, but he says he doesn't have a -"

"Arr! Arr!"

"Right. Ar." Jael squinted at the bird, wondering suddenly if it were having fun at her expense. "You said you don't have a name, right?"

"No name! No - AWWK!" The bird fluttered its bright wings as Ar shook a finger in its direction.

Suddenly it screamed,"Name Ed! Name Ed!"

Jael's mouth opened slightly. "Oh! I see."

"Thank you, Ed. Honesty is a more appropriate quality," said Ar, coming to stand alongside Jael. He frowned up at the bird, then muttered in an aside, "He's quite an exuberant bird, Ed is."

"I can see that. You two know each other, then?" Jael tried not to show her disappointment. She had rather liked the notion that this bird was her own personal discovery.

Ar turned to face her directly, giving her a first clear look at his eyes. She was stunned speechless.

Deepset in his almost triangular face, they looked like clear crystal orbs, shining with a pale inner light. He seemed to have no irises, whites, or pupils. But as she gazed, half-aware of her rudeness, she realized that his retinas - or whatever took the place of retinas - were visible. They looked like tiny purplish puffs of steel wool, or glitter, nested at the backs of his eyes. She was suddenly aware of his amus.e.m.e.nt, and she blushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -"

"Don't mention it. Everyone does it." Ar's lips straightened, then crinkled. "Actually, I'm considered to have quite lovely eyes on my own world."

She couldn't tell if he was being serious or teasing. "Oh. Yes, well I ..." And she realized that she had no idea what they had been talking about, before she'd glimpsed his eyes.

Ar turned toward the bird. "I'm sorry if I sounded as though I have some special intimacy with Ed, here.

I've only met him twice before, and I've been in this environment quite a few times." He extended a long-fingered hand toward the bird. Ed prodded at his finger with his golden beak."He doesn't show up every time, then?"

Ar rocked his head from side to side. "No, I think the environment senses when he might be good medicine for whoever has come in." He was silent a moment. "After all, this is a generated environment.

Even though it doesn't feel that way."

"Yes," Jael said. She had almost forgotten. That meant, of course, that Ed was a construct, as well.

Somehow she found that thought disappointing.

"Ed feels real to me, though," Ar continued. "I think he's a copy of an actual bird mated to an evolving intelligence program. It looks as if he's taken something of a shine to you. That's probably why he was teasing you about his name. Isn't that right, Ed?"

The bird drew his head back and snapped his beak at the air, as though trying to catch invisible insects.

He gave no sign that he had heard.

"Come on, Ed," said the Clendornan. "You like Jael, don't you?"

The bird bit at the air with finality, then c.o.c.ked his head and squawked wordlessly. Jael frowned. He hopped closer to her. "Jayl?" he murmured. He opened his beak and closed it gently around her wrist.

"Gwawk."

Jael was moved by the gesture; she regretted that he was only a machine thing. "I wish you were a real bird," she murmured wistfully.

Ed squawked and fluttered his wings violently. He launched himself into hovering flight and banged among the branches, screeching,"Awwk - reeel - REEEL - awwwwk!" He lighted on a higher branch and glowered down. "Hurrrrt - hurrt feeeling! Ed reeel! Rarrk!" He fell silent and gazed mournfully down at them.

"I'm sorry, Ed!" Jael said in surprise. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! I didn't know you were real.

Can I make it up to you?"

The bird hopped back down, with a flutter, to his previous perch. "Okk-kay," he squawked. "Okk-kay!

Made up-p. Like Jayl - like Jayl."

"Does that mean you'll come see me again - next time I'm here?"

Ed dipped his beak. "Be here. Ed be here. Bye, Jayl! Bye, Ar!" And with a flutter of color, he was gone.

Jael blinked in amazement. Hesitantly, she raised a hand as if to wave farewell. She looked at Ar, suddenly embarra.s.sed by her gesture.

"Sensitive guy, I guess," he said. "Would you like to see some of the other environments? They can be pretty interesting, too."

Jael considered the offer dazedly. The artificiality of this setting came home to her suddenly, along with a feeling of restlessness. She shook her head. "I don't think so. Not right now." She hesitated, not knowing what to say, just knowing that she suddenly felt uncomfortable being around this stranger, and she wanted to leave. "Um ... bye, I guess." She squeezed the controller in her right hand.

The rainforest dissolved in a grey fog.

Sixteen

Ar

Removing the helmet, she rubbed her eyes. The gloom of the lounge seemed unreal to her now, after the environment. But one thing that brought her back, with a jolt, was the sight of the Clendornan removing a helmet from his head and looking awkwardly in her direction. Of course. He's still here.

For a moment, she didn't move a muscle. She'd left the environment because she had wanted to get away from him.Or did you just panic because you didn't know what to say?

Ar rose and walked toward her. He paused, resting a hand on the back of the second seat over from hers. His gaze, clear and luminous even in the gloom, met hers. "I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to.

But I wasn't sure ... how else to ..." He hesitated, a strange, soft gargling sound coming from his throat.

"I beg your pardon?" she murmured, puzzled.

He seemed embarra.s.sed. His voice sounded as if he were underwater. "How to introduce myself. Since you're new here, I mean. And since, when I followed you into the system, it didn't keep me out -"

"You figured you were invited in?" Jael asked in sudden irritation.

"Yes, well, I ..." His breath went out with an animal-like sigh. "The system is supposed to know ..."

Jael frowned; she wondered why she had felt that moment of annoyance. She tried to think of another reply.

Ar's head was tipped, his mouth flattened. "Well, as I said, I'm sorry. I won't do it again." His eyes dimmed. "I just wanted to apologize. I'll be going now." He started to walk away.

She drew a breath. "Wait."

He stopped, turned.

Jael felt dizzy, her head full of uncertainty. "I'm ... sorry, too. It's okay, really. I guess if the system thought I didn't want privacy, then ... it wasn't your fault ..."

When she couldn't finish her thought, he said in a steadier tone, his voice like smoothly sanded wood, "I understand you've had - ah, a difficult beginning here."

She shook her head. "Come again?" Suddenly she understood, and as the full realization unfolded, she stared at him in horror.The entire s.p.a.ceport knows about me, that I killed Mogurn! Everyone knows.

"Well, I ..." he murmured apologetically, as though he'd read her mind. "The authorities are not always as discreet as one might wish. Yes, if that's what you're thinking, most of us know that you brought your ship in after ... defending yourself ... against your captain." He took a long, whispering breath. "It is, if I may say so, both an alarming and an inspiring story."

Jael could not answer. Her worst possible fears were confirmed. Everyone knew. Everyone was watching her.

"And I sense your unease with this subject," he murmured. "Again, I am sorry."She looked away and spoke hoa.r.s.ely. "If you know all about it ... then there's no need ..."

Ar's voice quavered again, drawing her attention back. "Please - I do not know all about it. Nor can I read your thoughts, as perhaps you fear." Jael tensed, as he voiced precisely her fear. The Clendornan shook his head slowly. "I can sense emotions only, and that I cannot help doing. But I do so - I suppose you would say, a.n.a.lytically. I perceive that there is pain, for example. But in merely knowing that, I can neither peer into your soul to know your secrets, nor can I, unfortunately, do much that might alleviate the pain."

Jael felt a thickness in her throat. "Yes? Well, I'm not looking for a counselor, anyway."

"No no no, I did not mean that." Ar's breath came in a long sigh. "I am sorry, I should not have said -"

"Well, you did say it!"

Ar drew himself up; his angular head seemed slightly off balance atop his shoulders. "Let me put it differently, if I may," he whispered. He hesitated for several long moments, then said, "I ... do not fly solo. I must find a rigging partner before I can fly again. And therefore ..."

Jael held her breath, frowning.

"Well - I do not seek a partner only. I am in need of a friend, as well. And I thought ... I sensed a ...