Translator: yun

I looked up in horror.

W-Who are you?

But when I looked behind me, to my left and to my right, there was no one to be found. All I could see were the occasional apartment lights and empty cars that filled the parking lots.

[Hurry back, Ros.]

It was at that moment that I looked back without thinking why. And there stood a very pale man who reminded me of the snow. His hair, which looked to be either silver or sky-blue, fluttered.

As I stared at him, I realised he was standing in bare feet.

Arent you cold?

It was strange. To see a foreigner dressed in thin clothes and standing in bare feet in this weather. For a moment, I thought he had fallen asleep while standing. But the strangest person here was myself, for not thinking that the man in front of me was mad.

[Im not.]

He answered.

Do you know me?

[Well. I dont know you very well, but I do love you very much.]

He might have been a ghost. Perhaps I was dreaming. All because of the sight of his foreign clothes that did not seem to be real and the fluttering of his hair.

[Ros, please dont love this world more than me.]

Wind continued to blow. But the wind that was making his hair and my clothes fly did not feel like that of winter.

[I cant stay here for long.]

The man swept my cheek as though he was sorry. After being alone for so long, feeling anothers touch felt unfamiliar.

His warm air enveloped me.

How do you know me?

The man smiled bitterly. As his sentimental yet temperamental face twisted, my heart ached. But I couldnt explain why.

[I see that it hurts to see you not remember me.]

Ah

A faint green light surrounded the mans hand.

[I believe that happiness will come to find us. Because thats what you told me.]

The man who had appeared out of nowhere lowered his head. The moment our eyes met, I closed my eyes as though out of habit. A refreshing fragrance and a cosy warmth landed on my cold lips before disappearing.

[I love you, Ros.]

The wind started blowing again. The man slowly disappeared like dandelion seeds flying away in the wind.

[Ill be waiting for the spring you bring me.]

During his final moments, he smiled as my gaze followed wherever his finger pointed towards.

Ah flowers.

In the middle of winter, I found myself forgetting everything else momentarily as I stared blankly at cherry blossoms in full bloom.

I wondered if I was still dreaming but for some reason, as I watched the petals flutter upon me like snow, I felt like crying.

On a winter day, the flowers that bloomed on branches that had long been bare settled into my heart.

It was a mystery. How I got home. The moment the door closed behind me while I stared blankly out my porch.

[Ros.]

Flowers bloomed within my chest like a lie.

The name the flowers brought as the curtains lifted.

Amor.

The beautiful memories that had been imprinted into my mind. My tears, my love, my pain and my dedication. The memories that piled like snow. Tears trickled down my cheeks.

I rushed to the front of the apartment building. As I stared at the flowers blooming in the empty lot, I repeated the names that I had forgotten.

Dane, Fleon, Ray, Rebecca, Hernan and Amor. The longing that pricked my heart with every petal.

I-Im sorry for forgetting.

I remember. I remember now.

You came to find me.

What I left behind, what I had forgotten and what was waiting for me. I clenched my fist.

I have to go back.

***

Each day passed like a simple classical piece. A string of gentle, calm notes. Even the days where I was frustrated, the days I found difficult to endure and the days I was annoyed beyond belief, never broke this motif. On days like that, I would usually vent it out with my friend before forgetting about my grievances altogether.

Flowers seem to be blooming wherever you go, Assistant Manager.

The newbie I had just started training remarked in amazement.

He continued to mutter, Everytime you walk past a pot, the flowers would start to perk up.

You must be seeing things. Ill be heading off first.

And then another day passed before it was sunday. I left early in the morning with an armful of flowers to the hospital.

Whats with the flowers? You must like them.

My friend offered to accompany me to the hospital, saying that it had been a while since she last visited.

When the door opened, the mild scent of disinfectant struck me first. Curtains could be seen flapping against the wind. Suddenly, behind the curtain, I spotted a mirage of a large pillar, much like a very ancient Grecian temple column. I closed my eyes before opening them again.

Ji-Ahn.

Where a balcony and a large bed should have been, sat a small hospital bed.

Dad.

With his delicate features and frail figure, my father smiled affectionately.

Its been a while, Sir.

My dad greeted my friend warmly. My friend left the room under the pretence of getting us drinks but she actually just wanted us to have some father-daughter time.

With the flowers here, Im having a hard time finding my daughter.

You and your jokes.

As I placed the flowers in a vase, I sat on a foldable chair. My dads bed was right next to the window so the wind continued to blow against our hair.

Have you been well, dad?

Of course I have.

His voice dripping with affection had always been my favourite to listen to.

The sun shone in the sky. It was quite a sunny day. Clouds and red camellias looked to have been sewn into the sky. Even though we were in the middle of winter, it felt particularly warm today. I suddenly brought up.

You know, dad. I have something I regret a lot.

Slowly, I turned my head away from the window.

I really missed seeing your face, dad.

Dad continued to remain still.

I had forgotten all this while.

I felt around his bed before grabbing his thin hands.

I had forgotten my past that was tied to this place and I couldnt remember anything.

I smiled sadly.

I didnt feel sorry for much else but I regretted forgetting the dad who loved me so much.

Ahn?

Dad, you already died a long time ago.

There was no world in which my father was still alive. My sick-stricken father had breathed his last in front of me. That was why I couldnt stand seeing anyone sick or injured.

I was so sad when you died, dad. I was fired from my company and I had failed the exam I had been working so hard for. Thats why I thought I would just be better off dead but somehow I continued living well. Though I still died in the end.

It had been like any other traffic accident. So ordinary that it didnt even make it in the news.

I had no regrets left in the world without you, dad, but I wanted to see your face once more.

..

You know, I really loved you, dad.

My dad then stared back at me with a downcast look. But he didnt try to hold me back when I got up.

I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door, to find my friend standing behind it. Looking neither sad nor happy, she seemed to have heard the entire thing.

Are you going now?

Yeah.

My friend grabbed my wrist.

Why? This is your world.

She urged me.

In all the stories I read, the main character always returns to her world. Because thats their happy ending.

This is not my world.

..

I know now. Theres a lot of people there that need me.

My friend held onto me anxiously.

What about me?

I shook my head.

You dont need me.

My friend, the one I grew up with, had experienced her failures early and matured faster than me. Since she was always one step ahead, she had been constantly worried about me. She was my mom, my older sister and younger sister all at once. But even without me, she had many other people in her world.

I see why I like Rebecca now. She reminded me of you.

I-I have no idea what youre talking about. Ji-Ahn, if you go back to that world, will you be happy?

Her question was mixed with affection and sorrow.

Yeah. I think I know now.

..

The way to be happy.

My friends hand slipped from mine. I gave her the biggest hug before pushing her way. I closed the door to the hospital room which held everyone I found precious.

Bye, my world.

I said goodbye to the place I once considered my world.

When I opened the door again, I was greeted by darkness again. But I headed in without hesitation.

***

When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in the middle of the garden at dawn.

I guess this doesnt work for you either.

Along the steps to the palace, Rusbella sat still like a pile of snow. Her figure disappeared for a moment.

Boom.

A bolt of golden lightning struck. I stared at her behind the shield I summoned to protect me.

Youve gotten stronger.

Through the shadows casted by the foliage above, I could faintly see her unfamiliar smile.

What did you do to me?

What do you mean what? I showed you your lingering regrets.

Holding her lightning bolt, she waved her hand in the air. Before another bolt of lightning struck my shield again.

Regrets?

Correct. The regrets you had left in that world.

Rusbella grabbed my chin before tilting my head towards her.

You subconsciously had lingering regrets about that world. Thats why I had sent you there before the connection was disrupted.

..

Of course, if someone hadnt cut the connection, you would have continued living there.

Her crazed eyes narrowed.

Either way, it wouldnt be too bad for you, would it?

It was the world that held all the precious things you felt regret about. I frowned slightly at her whispers.

Its unpleasant to hear but its true.

If my desire to see my father again had been greater, would I have even returned? Perhaps I would have stayed if she had sent me back earlier. I might have even settled down in that world.

But if I had done that, then Rusbella would

I wandered in the face of the truth I didnt want to admit.

Will you, really, help me?

My face was twisted with clear distrust.

You look uncomfortable. The more you twist your face like that, the happier I become.

Rusbella grinned.

Youre someone who cant trust people at all. Hm, could it be because of me?

She had started speaking formally like she did back in the academy and speaking informally harshly simultaneously. This was just my guess but this must be Rusbellas real voice

And, well, I hate you like crazy.

Crackle, the bolt of lightning in her hand grew in size. At the sudden surge in power, I summoned more butterflies.

Why is it just you, just you. Just you who have been given the chance to change things!

Urgh!

Why!

The butterflies that had started from a point grew to a wave that crashed against the lightning.

Its no use.

Through the scattering butterflies, lightning pierced through to strike my arms.

Boom. The deflected lightning split the trunk of a nearby tree. I raised my head whilst holding onto my devastated wrists.

Because your control over your divinity is abysmal.

Cough!

Thats why you wont be able to stop Castor.

Her lightning pushed me around for the longest time. It dragged me across the ground. Causing my blood and sweat to mix and my vision to dim.

Recover, I need to recover

But my body was not listening to me. Something wet flowed through my fingers and the smell was familiar. A small puddle drenched the grass. Why was there so much blood in my body?

I dont really like using lightning. Its not like I want to destroy everything. But I used to.

My hair fluttered in the wind. I couldnt lift a finger against her.

Rusbella stepped on my diary before pressing down on it.

From some point, it no longer mattered.

The diary under her feet pulsed and resisted violently but she ignored it and continued to press down on it even harder.

It doesnt matter how much I destroy.

Rusbella masked her mouth behind her hands before laughing out loud.

I just want everything to wither, disintegrate and perish. It would be great if you died and if that man did too.

The ability to control the Power of the Lord.

I took a deep breath.

I recalled what Auresia taught me. How did she teach me to use it again?

Look, Ashley.

The injuries I sustained because of her lightning did not hurt. My burnt arms healed quickly. Suddenly, I stopped wiping my blood away and raised my head.

Help me have fun. Since this will be the last time we ever get to?

Itll be better if you could just shut up.

I wiped the blood sticking to my skin off before letting out an exhale.

Your eyes seemed to have gone completely insane.

Ive been crazy for a very long time now, Ashley. I know.

She continued to sing-song.

And youve only just started.