_Dolly._ You can't get a decent dinner?
_Harry._ No! Look at those messes last night. They weren't fit for a cook-shop.
_Dolly._ Oh! Oh! Oh! Get a housekeeper! Get a housekeeper!
_Harry._ By Jove! that's what I mean to do!
_Dolly._ Have Miss Smithson! Send for her to-morrow morning! I'll hand her over the keys!
_Harry._ [_Shouting._] And please hand me over the rest of your bills!
The rest of your bills, madam!
[DOLLY _marches up to the desk._
MATT _appears at door in dressing-gown._
_Matt._ I can't get a wink of sleep----
[DOLLY _takes out about twenty more bills._
_Harry._ I insist on seeing the whole lot! So there!
_Dolly._ [_Flourishing the bills, strewing them on the floor._] Well there! And there! And there! And there! Now you've got the whole lot!
And I hope you're satisfied. I'm going into Renie's room! [_Exit._
_Harry._ I insist on your going through these bills----
[_Following her off. Their voices are heard retreating upstairs_, DOLLY _saying_, "go through the bills! Send for Miss Smithson! Have her here to-morrow morning! Take your proceedings," HARRY _saying_, "I insist on going through the bills to-night! Do you hear, madam, I insist! Will you come down and go through these bills," etc.
_Matt._ [_Listens, as their voices die away. When the voices have ceased, he surveys the scene._] We're making a splendid start for the New Year!
[_Sees the box on the floor, picks it up, carefully places it on table and goes off._
CURTAIN.
(_A year pa.s.ses between Acts III and IV._)
ACT IV.
SCENE: _The same._
TIME: _Afternoon of January 1st, 1908._
_Enter_ LUCAS, _followed by_ CRIDDLE. LUCAS _has his left collar-bone broken, and his arm is strapped across his breast; his coat is b.u.t.toned loosely over the arm, the left sleeve hanging down._
_Lucas._ They've gone to meet me?
_Criddle._ Yes, sir.
_Lucas._ By the road?
_Criddle._ Yes, sir.
_Lucas._ That's how I've missed them. My car broke down the other side of the clump, and so I walked over the fields.
_Criddle._ Yes, sir. I beg pardon, I hope the arm isn't serious.
_Lucas._ No, Criddle. Just serious enough to get me a couple of months'
leave, so that I could spend the New Year in England.
_Criddle._ You had it very hot in India, I suppose, sir?
_Lucas._ Blazing!
_Criddle._ We've got the same old weather here, you see, sir.
_Lucas._ Same old weather! Had any visitors for Christmas, Criddle?
_Criddle._ Mr. Barron, of course, and Professor and Mrs. Sturgess.
_Lucas._ Same old visitors--same visitors, I should say. Mr. Pilcher still Vicar here, I suppose?
_Criddle._ Yes, sir. He gave us a wonderful sermon at the old year's service last night.
_Lucas._ Same old sermon!
_Criddle._ No, sir. Not exactly the same sermon, though it had similar points to last year. Ah! You came over for the old year's service last year?
_Lucas._ Yes, and a rattling good sermon it was!
_Criddle._ Very powerful and persuading, wasn't it, sir? It even touched me up a bit.
_Lucas._ In what way, Criddle?
_Criddle._ I used to have my ten bob on any horse as I fancied, but I never put a farthing on anything--not even on Sulky Susan for the Oaks.
_Lucas._ You didn't?
_Criddle._ No, and thank G.o.d, in a manner of speaking, that I didn't, for she never pulled it off. I owe that to Mr. Pilcher. No, I never touched a thing till the Leger. That reminds me----
_Lucas._ What, Criddle?
_Criddle._ Why, last year, after Mr. Pilcher's sermon, the master had a collecting box, and when he found himself going a bit off the straight he used to put in a shilling or half-a-crown for Mr. Pilcher's blanket fund----