Dolly Reforming Herself.

by Henry Arthur Jones.

ACT I.

SCENE: _Drawing-room at_ HARRY TELFER'S, _The Gables, Crookbury Green, Surrey. A well-furnished room in a modern red brick country house. At the back, a little to the right, is a door leading into the hall. All along the right side is a gla.s.s part.i.tion, showing a conservatory which is entered by gla.s.s doors, one up stage, the other down. On the left side is a large fireplace. At the back, in the centre, is a handsome writing-desk with a shut down flap lid. Above the fireplace, facing the audience is a large sofa. To the right of sofa, and below it in the left centre of the room is a small table, and near to it an easy chair. Right centre down stage is a larger table._

TIME: _The afternoon of_ 1ST _January_, 1907.

_Discover at writing-table, back to audience_, DOLLY TELFER, _a bright little woman about thirty, busied with bills and papers. Bending over her, back to audience, is her father_, MATT BARRON, _a pleasant-looking, easy-going cynic of sixty._ HARRY TELFER, DOLLY'S _husband, an ordinary good-natured, weakish, impulsive Englishman about thirty-five, is standing with his back to the fire. Sitting on sofa, reading a scientific book, is_ PROFESSOR STURGESS, _a hard, dry, narrow, fattish scientific man about forty-five. At the table, right, reading a French novel, is_ RENIE STURGESS, _the Professor's wife, a tall, dark, handsome woman about thirty_.

_Harry_. No, I can't say that I pay very much attention to sermons as a rule, but Pilcher gave us a regular downright, no-mistake-about-it, rouser at the Watch-night Service last night.

_Matt_. [_Turning round_.] I wonder what precise difference this rousing sermon will make in the conduct of any person who heard it.

_Harry_. Well, it's going to make a lot of difference in my conduct. At least, I won't say a lot of difference, because I don't call myself a very bad sort of fellow, do you?

_Matt_. N-o--No----

_Harry_. At any rate I'm a thundering good husband, ain't I, Dolly?

[DOLLY _takes no notice_.] And I've got no flagrant vices. But I've got a heap of--well a heap of selfish little habits, such as temper, and so on, and for the coming year I'm going to knock them all off.

_Matt_. That will be a score for Pilcher--that is, if you do knock them off.

_Harry_. Oh, I'm thoroughly resolved! I promised Dolly last night, didn't I, Dolly? [DOLLY _takes no notice_.] Dolly too! Dolly was awfully impressed by the sermon, weren't you, Dolly?

_Matt_. [_Looking round at_ DOLLY'S _back_.] Dolly was awfully impressed?

_Harry_. Yes. Before we went to bed she gave me her word, that if I'd give her a little help, she'd pay off all her bills, and live within her allowance for the future, didn't you, Dolly?

_Matt_. Well, that will be another score for Pilcher--that is, if Dolly does live within her allowance.

_Harry._ Oh, Dolly means it this time, don't you Dolly?

_Dolly._ [_Turns round on her stool, bills in hand._] I think it's disgraceful!

_Matt._ What?

_Dolly._ These tradespeople! [_Comes down to_ MATT.] I'm almost sure I've paid this bill once--if not twice. Then there's a mistake of thirty shillings in the addition--you're good at figures, Dad. Do add that up for me. My head is so muddled.

[_Giving the bill to_ MATT.

_Harry._ Aren't you glad, Doll, that you made that resolution not to have any more bills?

_Dolly._ It will be heavenly! To go about all day with the blessed thought that I don't owe a farthing to anybody. It's awful!

[_Crunching a bill in her hand, and throwing it on to writing-table._

_Harry._ Cheer up, little woman! You don't owe such a very alarming amount, do you?

_Dolly._ Oh no! Oh _no_! And if you'll only help me as you promised----

_Harry._ We'll go thoroughly into it by-and-by. In fact I did mean to give you a pleasant little Christmas surprise, and pay off all your debts.

_Dolly._ Oh, you angel! But why didn't you do it?

_Harry._ I've done it so often! You remember the last time?

_Dolly._ [_Making a wry face._] Yes, I remember the last time.

_Harry._ And here we are again!

_Dolly._ Oh, don't talk like a clown!

_Harry._ But, my dear Dolly, here we are again.

_Dolly._ Well, I haven't got the money sense! I simply haven't got it! I was born without it!

_Matt._ [_Hands her the bill._] The addition is quite correct.

_Dolly._ [_Taking the bill._] You're sure? Then I'm convinced I've paid it! [_Looking at bill._] Yes! Thirty-four, seven, six. Professor Sturgess----

_Prof._ [_Looks up from his book_] Yes?

_Dolly._ You understand all about psychology and the way our brains work.

_Prof._ I've given my entire life to their study, but I cannot claim that I understand them.

_Dolly._ But wouldn't you say----

_Prof._ What?

_Dolly._ I'm morally certain I've paid this bill.

_Matt._ Have you got the receipt?

_Dolly._ No! I must have mislaid it.

_Matt._ When, and where did you pay it?

_Dolly._ I cannot recall the exact circ.u.mstances. And now----

_Matt._ And now----?

_Dolly._ Fulks and Garner have sent me a most impertinent note requesting immediate payment.