Talker pecked the ground. 'We are slaves,' said the bird. 'We were were slaves. We were being transported from our own world, which circles Kapteyn's Star, to the Caxtarids' home, the fourth planet of Lalande 21185. They'd been training us as shock troops on the ship, which wasn't too clever of them.' The bird squawked and ruffled its feathers. 'We fought our way free during a Jovian fuel stop, and escaped here in a shuttle.' slaves. We were being transported from our own world, which circles Kapteyn's Star, to the Caxtarids' home, the fourth planet of Lalande 21185. They'd been training us as shock troops on the ship, which wasn't too clever of them.' The bird squawked and ruffled its feathers. 'We fought our way free during a Jovian fuel stop, and escaped here in a shuttle.'

Penelope frowned thoughtfully. There was something about the Kapteynian's explanation that was puzzling her, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Still, even if some of the details were over her head, she could follow the gist of it. 'We have something in common,' she told the bird. 'We're both cut off from our own worlds, in a new and dangerous environment. I propose we a.s.sist one another.'

'What can you do for us, hairy?' said Talker rudely.

'I think you know,' she said. 'Why else did you bring me here?'

'We didn't,' said Talker. 'Excuse me.' The alien squawked, stood up, and laid an egg.

Penelope experienced a moment of intense revulsion, followed by a moment of revelation. She stared at the egg, astonished.

'Don't even think it, hair boy,' said Talker. She picked up the egg in the little hands at the ends of her wings.

'No,' said Penelope, 'I'm female too. You're a soldier, and you're female.'

Talker shrugged. 'Think with one end, lay eggs with the other, no problem.'

She rolled the egg underneath her and sat down on it. 'I used to be a gardener.

If I ever get back to Kapteyn I'm going to spend a year just pulling worms out of the soil.'

'Is it going to hatch?' They both looked up at the page's voice. His eyes looked as though they were about to jump out of his head.

'No,' said Talker. 'There's no time for lovey-doving. But sitting on eggs makes me feel better.' She settled into place. 'OK, Misht Jate, where were we before I rudely ovulated?'

137.

Umemi-sama was sitting on a stool in the courtyard castle. The samurai charged up to him, dismounting and bowing, and the Doctor followed suit.

The daimyo gazed down at them for a moment, while the dust settled. He was a good ten years younger than Gufuu, with a thick moustache and a thick waist. His clothes were purple, with white plum-blossoms patterning the cloth. A row of advisers in full armour, one with his face mask in place, sat at right angles. The yard was full of troops, sitting in geometric rows.

The captain said, 'My lord, we've just come from Toshi, where we tried to stop a fire. The blaze was started by a demon with a rifle that shoots flame.

We also found this foreigner, called Isha, who begs an audience with you.'

Umemi took the bizarre report without flinching, which worried the Doctor.

The warlord beckoned to the Doctor, palm down. The Doctor inched forward in the dust.

'Umemi-sama,' he said, 'I've come to warn you about a very dangerous object. Very dangerous indeed. It seems as though anyone who comes into contact with it suffers terrible luck.' The daimyo said nothing, sitting forward on his stool, listening. The Doctor heard the silence around them, the wind softly moving banners. The troops stood stock-still, almost eerily silent. Far away he could hear the calls of men drilling with their weapons. 'I've seen a village destroyed, when they thought the object would bring them luck. The object reached Toshi, and within a day the town was afire.'

The daimyo considered for a moment. 'What is your advice, Isha-san?'

'Avoid the object,' said the Doctor. 'Act as though it doesn't exist. Let its curse fall on someone else.'

The portly daimyo shifted back in his seat.

'Listen to me,' he said. 'Since I became lord of this province, I have done everything I can to hold Gufuu-sama's ambition in check.' He gestured with his fan. 'When Gufuu wants a piece of land to the cast, I also want that land.

When Gufuu covets a river to the south, I also covet that river. Whatever advantage he seeks, I seek the same advantage. In this way, I have maintained balance between our two situations.'

'Through constant war,' said the Doctor.

'Of course,' said Umemi. 'And now, Gufuu-sama wants this object, this kami kami that descended from the heavens. He has gone to great lengths to obtain it, sending troops, and even destroying Toshi.' The Doctor opened his mouth to correct the daimyo, but the man went on speaking. 'If he wants this that descended from the heavens. He has gone to great lengths to obtain it, sending troops, and even destroying Toshi.' The Doctor opened his mouth to correct the daimyo, but the man went on speaking. 'If he wants this kami kami, then I want it. My agents have sighted your ally, making all speed, but not towards Gufuu-sama's castle. To another place of safety? To Doa-no-naiheya Monastery, perhaps, where you first learnt of the kami kami?'

The Doctor was careful not to let his surprise show. He had that sudden sinking feeling he sometimes got during chess, when he realized his opponent 138 had been patiently watching his combinations and seeing through the lot.

'Look,' he said, 'whatever this thing is, it's not worth risking outright war over it. Let it reach the monastery. I promise you Gufuu-sama won't get his hands on it.'

'Alas,' said Umemi, 'Gufuu's troops are already on their way to the monastery. His agents have also been following your friend's movements, it seems. Besides,' he added, 'I know what it is.'

This time the Doctor felt his mouth open slightly. Umemi was glancing off to his left somewhere.

The Doctor followed the man's gaze. One of his war advisers was removing his her helmet.

Te Yene Rana showed her pointed teeth, red eyes flashing in the late afternoon sun.

'Bad news travels fast,' she said.

'We didn't bring you here,' Talker said again.

'Then how did I get here?' insisted Penelope. 'If the Doctor was right about my time conveyance, it couldn't have reached this era under its own power.

Someone drew it back here.'

'Might have been the Caxtarids, I suppose,' said Talker. 'I don't know much about their technology.' She pecked at the ground, thoughtfully. 'Their ship was pretty badly damaged. Could your time machine be used to travel just through s.p.a.ce?'

'We've done just that,' nodded Penelope. 'I was hoping that you might be able to make the machine work again.' She glanced at the page, who wasn't following any of this. 'Er, because Gufuu-sama wants a demonstration.'

She and Talker looked at each other, and Penelope felt the understanding travel between them. If they had a working time machine, they could escape.

Of course, thought Penelope, she could always go back to the Doctor and ask for a lift. She felt the angry colour rise in her cheeks. No. She would do her best to puzzle this out without his a.s.sistance.

Te Yene Rana was showing her teeth. 'I decided to strike a deal with the obvious winning side,' she said, giving Umemi-sama a little bow.

The daimyo said, 'I myself will lead a large expedition to the monastery.

We will recover the pod, destroying any troops Gufuu-sama sends against us.

When we possess the pod, we will further use its magical powers against our rival. I shall become warlord of Han, Daini and Sanban districts.'

The Doctor was looking at him in a mixture of exasperation and anger. 'That will end the warfare you object to, Isha-san,' he laughed. 'When I am overlord of the country, there will be no more war, I promise you.'

139.

He barked an order to his troops. They shouted, a single roar, and were suddenly, furiously, in motion.

The Doctor stood up, forgetting etiquette. 'You can't let this happen!' he shouted at the Caxtarid. The advisers were on their feet, generals and captains joining their troops as they readied for battle. 'You can't get all of these people involved.' She was just grinning her predatory grin at him. 'For goodness'

sake,' he shouted, 'what is that thing? Why is it worth all of this death and destruction?'

'Wouldn't you like to know?' She stalked over to Umemi, utterly ignoring the rules of etiquette, and leant on his shoulder. The daimyo didn't seem to mind. 'We ought to bring him. He'll be a d.a.m.ned handy hostage if his friends give us any trouble.'

Umemi barked orders, and the Doctor found himself grabbed by two samurai large enough to blot out the sun.

'You don't care, do you?' He was still shouting at the Caxtarid. 'You think this is funny is funny. You're like a child pouring boiling water into an anthill.'

She stepped up to him and grabbed his face in her hand. 'Are their motives any better in the long run?'

'Tell me what the pod is,' he insisted, his eyes boring into her.

She just laughed and let him go. The samurai dragged him off 'When they're finished with you, Doctor,' she called, you can expect torture and death.'

'You must be such fun at parties!' His hat had fallen down over his eyes.

He couldn't see her, but her last barb reached him, even across the movement and noise of the courtyard.

'Not from me. I'll let them do it,' she called. 'It'll save me the d.a.m.ned trouble.'

140.

16.Fourth-dimension dream

Chris crept through the forest, keeping as low as he could. He hid behind a thick pine and peered out at the soldiers.

The army stood eerily still, like mannequins, lined up in tidy rows. Lancers and archers, marksmen and infantry, like full-size metal figurines in a tabletop wargame, or holographic characters in a sim, too perfectly aligned and still to be real. They were small, and after a while Chris realized it wasn't their genes or their diet, but their age. They were teenagers, or in their early twenties, younger than he was.

In the middle of that lot, beneath the orange banners, was Gufuu-sama.

And maybe Joel. Chris wanted to see if he could spot the redhead amongst the troops, but he didn't dare break cover.

What were they waiting for?

The superior warrior knows when not to fight, as well as when to fight, supposed Chris. You could lose face by losing your cool. They were waiting to see who would blink first.

He'd left the cart and horses deep in the forest, maybe two hours ago. In that time he'd carefully recced the area, making a mental map the road that wound up to the monastery gates, the plain at the base of the mountain, the shape of the forest that surrounded it. As far as he could tell, no one was sneaking around in the woods. The soldiers were just standing there, waiting.

How was he going to get the pod up to the monastery? The main road was in plain view of Gufuu-sama, from the warlord's position on the ridge.

Maybe he just couldn't. Maybe he'd have to stay here until he found out what they were waiting for. He took the letter out of his pocket. It was just about finished.

Dear Doctor, I didn't always feel like this. I kind of wanted to try to write down how I feel. Maybe I'll never show you this. Maybe it's just to help me how I feel. Maybe I'll never show you this. Maybe it's just to help me make up my mind. make up my mind.

141.

I always wanted to be a hero when I grew up. Like my dad and his dad and so on, one of the good guys. That was the best thing about the dad and so on, one of the good guys. That was the best thing about the Adjudication Creed, taking the Oath and everything. It was all written Adjudication Creed, taking the Oath and everything. It was all written down, you knew exactly how to do things and why they were done. . . down, you knew exactly how to do things and why they were done. . .

All the different procedures and situations, and the legal precedents and civil rights safeguards. That was in the last exam of all, as though the civil rights safeguards. That was in the last exam of all, as though the Academy thought it was the least important part of our training, even Academy thought it was the least important part of our training, even though it was the most important part. though it was the most important part.

I got my best mark on that exam. Well, out of the theoretical stuff.

Roz always said I did everything by the book.

At first I thought it was because of Roz, After she died, I felt so, well, dead. And I know it wasn't easy for you either, but I thought I'd got dead. And I know it wasn't easy for you either, but I thought I'd got over it OK. over it OK.

And then I thought it was Liz. For some reason it was even worse when Liz died. OK, for some reason, for a very good reason. I let her when Liz died. OK, for some reason, for a very good reason. I let her die. I let her die to save me. I utterly failed to serve and protect. I die. I let her die to save me. I utterly failed to serve and protect. I wasn't a hero. wasn't a hero.

But it wasn't a single thing, really. It's a bunch of little things. Each time some little bad thing happens some innocent bystander gets killed, time some little bad thing happens some innocent bystander gets killed, something beautiful gets destroyed you think you've got over it, and something beautiful gets destroyed you think you've got over it, and then something else happens. Each time you think, great, from now on then something else happens. Each time you think, great, from now on everything will be fine. And it never is. everything will be fine. And it never is.

You must be tough as nails to have done this for over a thousand years. years.

I don't think I can do it. I think maybe I've done about as much as I can. I'd really like to get back to being a hero. Find a job that as I can. I'd really like to get back to being a hero. Find a job that needs doing, people who need protecting or a planet that needs to be needs doing, people who need protecting or a planet that needs to be freed or something, and stay in one place, in one time, dealing with one freed or something, and stay in one place, in one time, dealing with one problem. problem.

And try and be a hero again.

Roz would say there aren't any heroes, just rookies and idiots. That everybody has flaws and weaknesses. Except you, I guess. everybody has flaws and weaknesses. Except you, I guess.

I didn't mean that to sound so mean. But listen I think the reason you've been trying to teach me so much is so you're still around when you've been trying to teach me so much is so you're still around when you're gone. you're gone.

I don't think I can be you. I mean, not just because I'm about four bazillion times less smart and experienced. I can't be you. n.o.body can bazillion times less smart and experienced. I can't be you. n.o.body can be you. You're stuck with it. be you. You're stuck with it.

I mean, I like all the stuff you've been teaching me. You've given me so much a place to live, all these adventures, all these new experiences. so much a place to live, all these adventures, all these new experiences.

You saved my life, and Roz's, right back at the beginning.

142.

It wasn't Shakespeare, but it said what he wanted to say. He pulled out the ballpoint pen and added the last lines.

I really hate the thought of losing you. Maybe that's the real reason I want to stop now, to go away. So I won't be there when it happens. I I want to stop now, to go away. So I won't be there when it happens. I don't know. I hope not. I don't want to jerk out on you, not if you need don't know. I hope not. I don't want to jerk out on you, not if you need me. me.

So if there's any way I can stop, if it's OK for me to pick a planet and stay there, can we talk about it? stay there, can we talk about it?

Yours sincerely, Chris A shadow pa.s.sed overhead, and another. Chris looked up, for a weird moment convinced that there were planes in the sky.

A third dark shape moved through the air above the trees. It was the size of a small man, floating silently against the blue brilliance of the morning.

'Oh cruk cruk,' said Chris, as the penny dropped. He headed back for the cart as fast as he could.