He needed to defend himself. He blinked and was in the heart of an inferno and he could hear the Doctor's words but it was too late and the power was at its height and wouldn't be denied, so Jason panicked and released the fireball.

And everybody died.

203.

22.Bad Dreams (3)

Jason woke up and it had all been a dream.

An unusually vivid dream, he thought, as he lay with his eyes closed and adjusted to reality. But no more than a dream, for all that. The trouble was, he couldn't remember when it had started. Had it been before that business in the Palace? Or the shooting of the Queen? Perhaps he had never met Dr Who at all and he would look to find himself in his bedsit, stuck in a humdrum life.

There was only one good way to find out. He opened his eyes and they focused on grey roundels. Good! At least that part had been real. He was still the companion of Dr Who, zipping about the universe and fighting, green monsters to bring truth, justice and purity to all.

No, that wasn't right. It wasn't that simple. Whilst Jason had slept, something had changed.

He wished he could remember what.

Bernice woke, knowing it had all been real.

She remembered the barrier falling, herself and Bambera jostling for pole position whilst Roz slipped ahead of them both (at least she had managed to get in before Tavistock, although she still felt awful about tripping him like that). She remembered barrelling through the quadrangle, barely pausing to note the splendour of the Grand Hall (but allowing herself a chuckle at the sight of the TARDIS amongst its columns). The soldiers had fanned out and were trampling every deep-carpeted inch, but Benny had raced upstairs with Roz and the Brigadier.

They knew where the enemy would most likely be.

She remembered Bambera, barging her out of the way as they 204 reached the mirrored doors. She had caught her own reflection, gun drawn, at the head of this military rabble. She'd detested that sight and had seen in a moment of poignancy why she had so appalled Mel. Then Bambera had shouldered the doors open and they'd spilled into the Throne Room, where Benny had registered the Doctor's presence. And Chris's and Mel's and . . .

Ace?

There had been some confusion and she had faltered, not sure where to aim. Then the boy Jason had exploded into fire and, before she realized they might, the billowing flames had spiralled outwards and engulfed her.

That was when she had died. Died in flaming ashes.

Completely obliterated.

She turned that thought over, inspecting it from all angles.

She cuddled her pillow and stared at the familiar walls of her room and her discarded clothing littering the floor: all anchors to a reality that she needed to believe in.

Then her body shook and a snort of giddy laughter forced itself from her nose. To think, she had been worrying about unconsciousness becoming a habit. She hadn't died since . . .

oh, since Shadowfell, many months ago. And now I do it twice in one day, she thought. If I had life insurance, I'd be rich.

Jason's faculties returned and his nose wrinkled, detecting a heady whiff of ammonia. A heavy presence warmed his legs and he looked to see the green eyes of a tabby tom-cat regarding him placidly. 'h.e.l.lo puss,' he said. Then it dawned on him what the animal had done.

Wolsey jumped off the bed and left unhurriedly, limping slightly. Jason peeled off his wet sheets and pyjama bottoms with revulsion. He placed his bare feet on the cold floor and stood, casting about until he saw a black tracksuit folded over a chair back. It seemed his size so he reached for it.

Then paused and frowned, as a stray memory returned . . .

The room was filling with soldiers, led by two of the Doctor's accomplices. He wanted to run but, paradoxically, he was too accomplices. He wanted to run but, paradoxically, he was too scared. He brought his hands up to protect himself that was all. scared. He brought his hands up to protect himself that was all.

Jason tried not to think about it. Tried not to remember how 205 he had killed them all with one tremendous blast killed them all with one tremendous blast . . . He shook his head, annoyed with himself for letting the memories linger. . . . He shook his head, annoyed with himself for letting the memories linger.

He slipped into the tracksuit and eased open the door. The corridor was empty.

He remembered: standing in the Throne Room, the walls standing in the Throne Room, the walls blackened with ashes of a dozen bodies drifting on a blackened with ashes of a dozen bodies drifting on a supernatural wind. Alone? Not quite. supernatural wind. Alone? Not quite.

The Doctor was there.

Mel sat on the edge of her bed and glowered as the door opened to admit Ace. 'What do you want?' she asked frostily.

'I wanted to talk, but if you're not interested -'

'Why should I be? I don't know you. I knew a nice little girl called Dorothy.'

'I was never a "nice little girl"!' Ace countered hotly.

'Now what have you turned into? A hardened s.p.a.ce b.i.t.c.h!'

'I'm a soldier!'

'Fighting dirty wars. How many people have you killed, Dorothy?'

'You don't want to know.'

'You're ashamed to admit it!'

'I'm ashamed of nothing.'

'Tell me how many you've killed then!'

'Four hundred and twenty-three!' shouted Ace. 'Satisfied?'

Mel drew back as if stung. Then she got to her feet and faced her visitor with an expression of loathing. 'Get out,' she said.

Ace glared back mutinously. ' Get out! Get out! ' Mel screamed, losing composure. ' Mel screamed, losing composure.

Ace sneered. 'I hope you never have to find out what real life is like, "Doughnut".'

'You saturated this room with fictional energy. Enough for me to manipulate, to change the end of your story just slightly. to manipulate, to change the end of your story just slightly.

'Does that mean they're not dead?' A hopeful squeak in his voice. voice.

'No subconscious reprieves this time. You were too scared.

You incinerated all of them.'

Jason padded down the corridor, upset to hear the sound of 206 arguing beyond a bedroom door. Two women, shouting about whose lifestyle was best. He remembered the way to the console room, but there were raised voices there too.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I thought it was best.'

'Not for me! And you expect me to sit back now while you kill her?'

'That's not it.'

'Then take me to her!'

'There's no time. And believe me, Chris, it wouldn't help.'

'It's not likely to hurt!'

'I'm sorry, I can't do anything.'

'You can always do something.' The Doctor's eyes were wide and blue, encouraging this destructive young man, this parcel and blue, encouraging this destructive young man, this parcel of energy, to calm down and do the right thing. of energy, to calm down and do the right thing.

'One thing?'

'I believe you have the power.'

Jason hugged himself and moved away, fighting back the sobs which tore at his stomach. His story had turned sour. This hostility was spoiling it. Why did no one like each other any more? Why couldn't they just get on with the adventure?

Bernice ran into Mel in the corridor and saw that she had been crying. She stepped in front of her and spoke before Mel could.

'Look, I'm sorry I was funny with you. It's just that you get so used to the Doctor's ways - it's hard to remember how strange they once seemed.'

Mel shrugged. 'So he's talked you round to his way of thinking. You're still guilty by a.s.sociation.'

'It's not that simple.'

'Oh, it never is!'

'No,' said Benny firmly, 'it's not. He's doing the right thing on Detrios, I can see that.'

'What about your Seven Planets?'

Benny nodded morosely. 'I try not to think about it. And I gave him h.e.l.l at the time, believe me. He's made things easier since - and he does do good, he's risked his life on countless occasions. I can't doubt that he does what he thinks is right.'

207.

'And you?'

'I have to trust in him.'

Mel nodded. Bernice could see from her body language that she wasn't completely consoled. But she did appreciate that Benny was human. She smiled in what she hoped was a rea.s.suring way. 'Tell me one thing.' Mel looked willing enough. 'As I said, the Doctor keeps risking his life. Since I've known him, he's been shot through the heart, had his mind ripped open by mechanical insects . . . I thought his head had been lopped off once.'

'Nasty,' agreed Mel.

'I've come to think of him as invulnerable. Yet you saw him die - one of him, at least. How did it happen?'

Mel pursed her lips. 'I didn't actually see it. I was unconscious at the time. But I think . . .'

'Yes?'

'Well, he fell over and banged his head on the TARDIS console.'

Benny laughed until her sides ached.

Chris was sitting on his bed when Roz knocked and peered round the door. His knees were against his chest, his arms encircling them. He didn't say anything, so she moved quietly into the room.

She didn't want to do this, but it was her duty. He was her responsibility.

Chris didn't look up. 'He won't take me back.'

'The Doctor?'

'To Detrios. To Kat'lanna.'

'I see.' Roz should have known what to say to that, but the sentences wouldn't come together in her head. She took his hand instead and stroked it gently. It felt uncomfortable to see him like this, especially over a woman (and an alien too, although that shouldn't have mattered). She kept thinking that she'd lost him, and she told herself sternly that that was both ridiculous and selfish of her. Their relationship had never worked like that.

All the same, they had always been more than just Cwej and 208 Forrester, partners in the Adjudication Service. That was why Roz saw at that moment, clearly and obviously, what Chris both wanted and needed to hear. And that was why, against all logic, she said it.

She made him a promise. And, when she had done so, he looked at her finally and he smiled. They needed no more words. The bond between them compensated for mere verbalizations.

Jason was back on his bed, whilst Dr Who stood in the doorway, hands behind his back. 'You're scared,' said Dr Who.

'All that power. I killed those people . . . then . . .' Jason looked at his hands. They were shaking.

'You remember?'

'Almost. The last part's fuzzy.'

The Doctor had written something. He pushed the paper into Jason's hands, but the young man couldn't believe what he Jason's hands, but the young man couldn't believe what he read. read.

'Concentrate. Concentrate on those ten words. Think them, believe them. Believe that nothing else matters.' believe them. Believe that nothing else matters.'

'You can control it,' said Dr Who. 'So long as you confront what's happening, work with the Doctor to do some good.'

'I thought you hated him.'

'I was wrong. That's why I must go. And why I can never come back.'

'No!'