[Alternate t.i.tle: Shame Coc.o.o.n

Please read for free on the source site, chichilations, and not support an aggregator or content thief. Reposts are not allowed anywhere or for any reason.]

Jiahui made quick strides over and grabbed Zhongli Luo's blanket with the intention of pulling it off, but Zhongli Luo had a firm hold on it like someone who planned to die before seeing anyone ever again.

The two tugged and pulled like so, and the end result was just a thud, as the blanket-wrapped Zhongli Luo had rolled off the bed.

As she had the bedding to cus.h.i.+on her fall and the sound wasn't huge, it probably wasn't too painful. Jiahui doesn't pay attention to her own distress, taking great strides forward and tearing open the blanket.

Zhongli Luo currently doesn't dare to look at Rong Jiahui. She had been fresh with her in the middle of the night and deserves to be beaten to death. Having lost the protection of her quilt at this moment, she covers her head with her arms and turns her body away.

Jiahui rolls her eyes at that scene, going up and patting Zhongli Luo's head and asking, “Hurry up and let me check, is your fever gone yet? It didn't burn your brains out, did it?”

A long while later, a m.u.f.fled “no” comes out of Zhongli Luo's covered head.

No is good.

“Then get up, I'm waiting for you to go eat!”

This person can go a whole day without eating; she must have been raised well.

There isn't any reaction from the other side for quite some time. Jiahui has never felt herself to be a patient person. The moment she thought of hitting the other, Zhongli Luo saw her annoyed expression and said dumbly, “Jiahui, I'm sorry.”

Jiahui likely didn't bring enough smarts with her, as her mind turned around a few times because she could respond to what the other meant. Her pretty face reddens, and she says ferociously, “Shut up!”

“I should die.”

She really wants to slap her on the face and send her flying. She explicitly stated not to bring this up yet the other's still bringing it up; how good-natured does she think she is?”

Stamping her feet, she said, “Just shut up! Can you do that for me?!”

“Okay.” As she was blowing her top, Zhongli Luo had no choice but to earnestly promise her that.

Jiahui huffed and didn't pay anymore attention to her, going by herself to freshen up. Only, when she looked at her reflection in the water, she saw her disheveled hair; that's a real madwoman look. There's unfortunately nothing here for her to use, so she had to use her fingers to establish order back in her hair, arranging it into a big braid. After that, she once again tore a strip off the clothes she had before and wound it a few times around the braid to tie it off.

She took in her current outfit, and really hadn't thought that when she was wearing coa.r.s.e, plain clothes with a long braid, she'd look like a true country girl.

Was.h.i.+ng her face, she turned her head to notice the same kind of wild nest of hair on the still-curled up Zhongli Luo, and finds it both ridiculous and somewhat pitiful. Her heart softens up, but just when she wanted to pull the other up and comb her hair for her, she suddenly recalled a very important matter.

Her memory really isn't that good, and she'd almost forgotten about it. It's no wonder that it's her fate to swindled by people over and over again in both her lives.

Bringing that to mind, she humphs, coldly smiling at Zhongli Luo as she walks up and pinches the other's lowered chin. “My dear big sister, you really cheated me so horribly.”

“Wh…what?” Zhongli Luo looks at her mutely, clearly unable to react.

“You lied to and played with me. Did you find that very amusing? I set my heart on and threw myself at you, but instead of letting me know you're a girl just like me, you mess with me! Why? You'd rather lie to me and keep me in the dark, have us be a fake pair of phoenixes [1], and aren't willing to tell me everything? Say it! Am I so unworthy of being trusted? I've always been good to you up until now and yet you've deceived me so much, does your conscience not hurt?”

She offered her entire heart before Zhongli Luo only to have her cheat her like this! How can she not be angry?! When the other was sick before, all of her bad temper had spiraled into softness, but now… hmph! Hmph! Looking at Zhongli Luo's blank look is making her madder the more she looks! Right! This person's relying on a little white rabbit sort of appearance to deceive everyone around her!

Zhongli Luo's legs went soft, and she immediately collapsed to the ground.

Rong Jiahui, she– she knows? She actually knows everything?

She finds herself nearly unable to say a complete sentence. “Jiahui… I… I…”

She really wants to give a good explanation, but despite wracking her brains around, but she can't find any area that's worthy of being forgiven after deceiving the other for so many years.

Jiahui will probably never forgive her. Following her realization of this, Zhongli Luo's eyes can't stop from going red around the edges for a moment. She didn't want to lose Rong Jiahui… she could lose anyone right now, but she just can't lose her. Jiahui is so precious to her.

“Jiahui… I'm sorry, but I… didn't mean to…” Zhongli Luo tried to explain, though she didn't think it would be of any use.

Seeing this, Jiahui frowns, really disliking to watch Zhongli Luo's bewildered actions. She places herself before the other girl, who had covered her face in self-reproach, and pulls apart the hands covering that face. She speak somewhat harshly, “Explain it now, and explain it well. I might still be willing to listen for a few sentences.”

Her being willing to hear her out seems to give Zhongli Luo hope, and she rushes to explain herself. “Jiahui, I really didn't mean to– I was my father's only child, and he had no son, so he raised and taught me as a man, teaching me the way of the sword and spear. He felt that even though I was a daughter, I wouldn't lose out to others. He hoped that later on I could accomplish his goals in his place…”

Jiahui paused. “Then why did you never tell me this before…?”

“I didn't dare to,” Zhongli Luo said, powerlessly.

She had always naively believed that she could keep this a secret for a lifetime, but now… forget a lifetime, she hadn't even been able to keep it for half a lifetime.

She sighed, then apologized. “I'm sorry.”

“Zhongli…”

Jiahui, who had nearly been moved by her pitiful appearance, suddenly reacted, inclining her head away. Ah, this girl. She's got to carry it on a bit, she definitely can't forgive her so easily.

At this time, Aunt Liu happened to come by knocking. After rus.h.i.+ng to help her come up from the ground, she went straight to the door and opened it.

Aunt Liu came in carrying food, and smiled upon noticing Zhongli Luo had awoken. “Oi, lad, you're finally awake. It's good that you're well, very good. Your wife was rus.h.i.+ng around for all of yesterday for you. I was just thinking that my feelings for my son's father was just as good as yours.”

Wife? Zhongli Luo's face goes red. She can't keep from sneaking a peek at Jiahui, who sensed her gaze while taking the food, and silently glared at her until she took her eyes away.

After a few words of pleasantries, Jiahui beamed as she saw Aunt Liu out, then looked at Zhongli Luo sitting at the table with her face still red. A spark of a nameless fire sprouted within her heart, and she elaborated with a cold face. “Don't misunderstand, big sister. This is our ident.i.ty purely because I felt that this was the most convenient to use. There's no other meaning to it, and I know that you're a girl, anyways. Even if we act like this, there'll be no harm, and it won't start any gossip. Also, we can avoid the village girls here seeing that you're unmarried and good-looking and winding around you one after the other, otherwise I wouldn't be able to drag you out of here.”

Her tone isn't good at all, and in Zhongli Luo's ears, it seems like some of those words have the implication that the marriage is completely nullified.

She started on her food, somewhat sadly nodding. “Oh.”

Seeing her looking so indifferent, Jiahui's heart also stops up. She s.n.a.t.c.hed Zhongli Luo's chopsticks at the speed of light. “Right,” she says, “Since I know your ident.i.ty, from here on out, us two are going to be good sisters. You've wasted so many years of my life. If you know someone that isn't too bad, introduce him to your little sister. Ah, yes, I seem to remember that old General Mu's son, Mu Qian is in the Northwest, right? Hm, he's still barely a fit for me.”

Zhongli Luo thought of Mu Qian's somewhat evil-looking appearance, and she immediately shook her head like a rattle-drum. “He can't.”

Jiahui stared. “Why can't he? Are his looks bad? His personality?”

“He's thirty years old this year.”

…So that's it.

Jiahui is a bit disappointed. She raises her eyebrows. “He's only a decade older. Older is better, then he'll cherish me.”

“But… when I brought Miss Cen Biling home last time, it was because he sent her over.”

“And why'd he send her over?”

“Because he clearly has a problem in his conduct!”

Jiahui is ambivalent about this. “Who'd mind that? What's the harm even if he had a room full of singing and dancing entertainers? If everyone bickered about this, all the n.o.blewomen in the capital very likely would have died from throwing up blood.”

Seeing her be unmoved, Zhongli Luo sighed softly. “But I mind…”

Jiahui paused, mumbling to herself, “I don't mind, so what are you minding about?”

Jiahui took a mouthful of food, and kept talking after swallowing. “Sister Zhongli, there are some things you can't care so much about. In any case, granted that I be a practical widow who stays at home while my husband is away my whole life, it's all my business and has absolutely nothing to do with you. We're only sisters.”

This alienating kind of relations.h.i.+p makes Zhongli Luo uncomfortable, but…

“Jiahui, since you feel that there's no harm in being a practical widow…” Zhongli Luo pauses, blus.h.i.+ng as she keeps talking. “Then, why can't you consider me? I'll always be by your side, anyways…”

Hearing that, Jiahui's eyes brightened and her heart swayed, but she continues to be a dead duck with a stiff beak. “It violates social order.”

Zhongli Luo shook her head, pulling at Jiahui's hand, who struggled only slightly before calming down.

“Jiahui, when I said back then that you were my little sister, and only my little sister, you then forced me admit that I liked you. Now, how can you keep on saying that we're only sisters?”

Jiahui didn't expect Zhongli Luo to throw her own words back at her. She stammered out, “Back then… back then I thought…”

Zhongli Luo cut her off. “You're really messing with my feelings, Rong Jiahui.”

Zhongli Luo's voice is very light and breathy. This seems to be the first time she's called her by both her given and family name… Rong Jiahui looked at her expression, then calmed down, lowering her head, her thoughts in a numbing whirl. She didn't know what to say.

Zhongli Luo spoke up then. “Jiahui, what you said just now– that I would rather lie to you, keep you in the dark, and have us be a pair of fake phoenixes? Well, that's not wrong. I really was thinking like that. Three years ago, when you said you didn't mind anything, and you didn't mind if I couldn't ‘know' you, or that I couldn't have heirs, I was surprised and happy, because I really do like you. It was just as you said, I liked you enough to want you to be my wife, and I really did think to keep this from you for a lifetime. I didn't think you would find out, Jiahui, but since you said you didn't mind anything, why, now, do you mind this?”

Listening to that, Rong Jiahui is stuck dumb, and soon after, her nose starts to ache with unshed tears. She also hadn't expected that this person would actually remember that bit. It's true, she had said so at that time; she'd always felt that if she was together with someone she really liked, and they were a pair for a lifetime, then it would be the most beautiful thing in the world, and she didn't care about anything else at all. Each word she'd said then has always been true, and as real as any treasure…

Forget it, she's dilly-dallying again. It's so unlike her to keep dragging this out.

Thus thinking so, she had to grit her teeth, bow her head, and concede defeat. “Honestly, I'm only angry that you lied to me. Really, really, angry. Angry enough to want to beat you to death. But it's just that, and nothing more. Don't keep thinking about this nonsense for no reason.”

Right, all this doesn't have much to with others. Is this not a case of a presently-angry girl being disagreeable and making the other coax her?

There were the loud and soft sounds of mosquitoes humming in the background as Jiahui's cheeks puffed up after she finished speaking. She placed down the bowl and chopsticks, saying self-consciously, “This food's really bad. How long will it take you to make a complete recovery eating this? I'll go ask Aunt Liu if there's any kind of supplements for you.”

Shortly after, she stood up and sprinted out.

It wasn't until her figure vanished, and Zhongli Luo wrapped her brain around it all a few times, that she finally seemed to understand what she meant.

[1] 假鳳虛凰 = Fenghuang were once separated into feng (male) and huang (female), and their pairing was said to be a natural order. Conversely, being a ‘fake' feng/huang referenced to abnormal relations.h.i.+ps, i.e. h.o.m.os.e.xuality.