'Hey. Tell me about it. Been there. People warned me about Sigourney. But back then I didn't listen. I thought, hey, they're not giving her a chance. They don't see how vulnerable she is. She's just a lost little kid. I'm her hero. I can save her. I bet that's what Baz is thinking right now.'

We look over at Baz, who's watching Sigourney adoringly.

My phone bleeps and I see a message from Marc.

Are you being a good girl Mrs Blackwell?

'Do you want a coffee Leo?' I ask, standing up.

'Sure.'

'I'll get you one.'

I wander over to the giant cafetiere, texting on my phone at the same time.

I'm always a good girl Mr Blackwell. You should know that by now. Luckily I have a very strict husband who keeps me in line. xx It's been a while since I kept you in line. Maybe I should discipline you when you get home.

What did you have in mind? xx Spanking your beautiful backside until it turns red.

My breathing quickens as I fumble with cardboard cups, trying to pour coffee one-handed while I hurriedly reply: And then? xx And then I will tie your wrists to your ankles.

And THEN? xx I'm breathing really fast now, and I know my neck is going red.

Then I will f.u.c.k you. You will beg me not to stop. Just before you come, I will make you promise to obey me forever more. Then I will f.u.c.k you until you come and come and come again.

WHY did I start these messages?

Okay, okay! Time out. I am in the marquee with everyone else, trying to make coffee and pretend you're not turning me on. xx Have a strong coffee and sit down Mrs Blackwell. I will see you soon.

49.

As I'm bringing Leo his coffee, Nadia comes bouncing into the marquee. 'Hey! Sophia looks like the rain is blowing over. You ready for your scene?'

'Definitely.'

'Are you okay honey? You look a little hot and bothered?'

'Nothing a little fresh air won't fix.'

'Listen I have a special dinner planned tonight. To celebrate your baby news. All the cast and crew together.'

'Thanks,' I say, feeling shy. I've had such a fuss made over me already this morning about the pregnancy.

Everyone has been so kind, congratulating me and making sure I have the best chair to sit on. Except Sigourney, of course. She did manage a muted, 'congratulations', but I think she only said that because other people were listening.

'On set we're one big family,' says Nadia. 'And we look after our family. So we'll take care of you. Okay? And we'll celebrate together. Your baby is our baby.'

I sense Sigourney glaring at me and quickly say, 'Leo has news too.'

'Oh?'

'He got engaged.'

'Leo!' Nadia slaps his arm. 'To the little blonde firecracker? I like her. I like her a lot. She's your friend, right Sophia?'

'My best friend,' I say, watching Sigourney hop out of Baz's lap and stride towards us.

'What's that?' Sigourney asks, turning her big eyes on Leo. 'Some more big news? What are you doing Leo trying to upstage Sophia? It can't be done. Getting yourself knocked up is the biggest news there is.'

Nadia frowns. 'My English might not be great, but I don't think you should say knocked up. It doesn't sound nice. What is that other saying? With child. That's much better.'

'Why don't you just write me a script?' says Sigourney caustically. 'Then you can tell me exactly how to talk.'

'Uh oh.' Nadia waves a finger. 'The supermodel is in a bad mood today. Hey listen. If you didn't drink so much vodka, maybe you'd feel better in the mornings.'

A look of pure venom pa.s.ses over Sigourney's face. 'So Sophia. How does Marc feel about the baby?'

Leo laughs. 'What kind of question is that?'

Sigourney's eyes go big and innocent. 'What? Why can't I ask how Marc feels? Just because I used to date him or something?'

'Give it a rest Sigourney,' says Leo.

'Give what a rest?'

'You know exactly what. Trying to get people's backs up.'

Sigourney's eyes fill with fake, actress tears. 'That's what you think of me, Leo?'

Baz appears by Sigourney's shoulder. 'Hey. What's going on? Is there a problem?'

'There's always a problem when Sigourney's around,' says Leo lightly.

'If you've got a problem with Sigourney,' Baz growls, 'you've got a problem with me too.'

50.

Leo laughs. 'Don't go getting all "macho motherf.u.c.ker" on me now, Baz. We're supposed to be friends.'

'We're not f.u.c.king friends. Sigourney told me what you did to her. I would have knocked you out already, but she begged me not to. You're lucky she has such a soft heart.'

Leo raises an eyebrow. 'What I did to her?'

'She told me herself,' Baz barks.

'Listen. Baz. In time, you may come to realise that what Sigourney says isn't always true. But until then, give me the benefit of the doubt.'

'Are you calling her a liar?'

'I'm calling her ... delusional.'

With lightning speed, Baz grabs Leo's t-shirt and pulls him to his feet.

'Boys!' Nadia pushes herself between them. 'Stop this RIGHT now. Baz. Sit. SIT!'

She pushes Baz into a chair.

Sigourney glares at Leo. 'Happy now you've started trouble? When are you going to get over me Leo?'

'I'm engaged!' says Leo. 'I got over you years ago.'

'How long's that going to last?' Sigourney snaps. 'Do you love this girl or something?'

'Since when do you care?' Leo retorts.

Tears appear in Sigourney's eyes. 'I've always cared. Always. You said you didn't believe in marriage.' She fixes Leo with big, sad eyes. 'Oh f.u.c.k you then. I hope you and your wife are very happy.'

She runs out of the marquee into the rain.

Leo shakes his head. 'Baz, let me introduce Sigourney Seymour. The worst headf.u.c.k you're ever going to meet.'

I look around the marquee. 'Are none of you going after her?'

'No way,' says Leo.

'I don't get this,' says Baz. 'The way she was talking last night ... but just now ... Leo what the f.u.c.k is going on?'

Leo laughs. 'She's just doing what she always does. Messing with people's heads.'

'We can't leave her out there alone,' I say. 'She's upset.'

'She's not the only one,' says Baz, slumping onto a plastic chair. 'I thought we were getting somewhere. I thought ... oh sod what I thought.' He rubs his eyes until they turn red and watery.

'Baz trust me, there's nothing between us,' says Leo. 'I wouldn't lie to you.'

Baz nods.

'Don't go after her Sophia,' says Leo. 'It's exactly what she wants. She's just being a drama queen.'

'But she looked really upset.'

'One of her talents.'

'I'm going to find her,' I say.

'Christ don't you get sucked in too.'

'It's the right thing to do.'

51.

Outside the marquee, I can't see Sigourney anywhere, which I'm surprised about, because I thought she'd want to be found. Maybe not by me. But by someone.

I jog towards the security entrance, wondering if she's left the set completely.

Paparazzi and fans are pressed against the wire gates. They wave and shout as I get closer.

I want to tell them to save their energy for a real star like Leo or Baz.

'Sophia! Sophia are you still with Marc, Sophia? Is it true you're pregnant?'

I nearly trip over my feet when I hear that question. How can they know about that? I guess good news travels fast. Maybe a crew member told a friend, who told a friend ... oh well. It's not a secret anyway.

The nearer I get to the gate, the wilder the crowd become, waving camera phones, reaching their hands through the gate bars and screaming my name.

Wow. This is unreal.

'Sophia!' shouts a girl. 'Can I have your autograph?' She waves a pad and pen through the bars.

'Of course.' I sign my name, handing the pad back to her.

'I loved you in Beauty and the Beast. I can't wait to see your new movie.'

'That's really nice,' I say, signing other pads. 'Thanks so much everyone. I don't deserve this. Honestly. Don't you know Leo's in there?'