"Let me go and I will kill the spider commander for you," offered Asesino. "I know you want him dead."

"The Legion does not negotiate with terrorists," I replied.

"I will kill the spider commander with or without your help," said Asesino.

"He might already be dead," I said, turning to Captain Lopez. "Spider Headquarters was destroyed early on. Good work. Have we heard from them yet?"

"Phone lines are down," replied Captain Lopez. "I am still trying to determine who fired first. The spiders are insisting on cable TV news that we attacked them."

"They always say that," I said. "That spider commander has gone too far this time!"

"Some legionnaires are even saying they heard artillery fired from our side first," advised Captain Lopez.

"That is unacceptable," I said. "This was another unprovoked sneak attack by the spiders!"

"What do you want me to do with the boy," interrupted Private Krueger. "Shoot him?"

"I don't have time for foolish boys," I said. "Kick him across the MDL and let him be the spiders' problem. Boy, if you ever come back to this side of the MDL, you will be shot on sight. Consider yourself very lucky."

"Oh I'm so scared," said Asesino. "You and your Legion are a joke."

"Give the little ingrate to the spiders as a peace offering," I ordered.

Private Krueger handcuffed Asesino and dragged him up to the surface. Asesino kicked and thrashed about as they left.

"That was a bit harsh," commented Captain Lopez. "He's just a mouthy little kid."

"I agree," complained Pastor Jim. "There must be another solution. I gave Michael a job painting my church. He can still stay with me."

"You do not have a church," I said. "The boy is a terrorist. I wash my hands of him."

Private Krueger walked Asesino towards the MDL. Good riddance, Good riddance, thought Private Krueger. He did not want to have to explain to Colonel Czerinski about firing the howitzer at Spider Headquarters. thought Private Krueger. He did not want to have to explain to Colonel Czerinski about firing the howitzer at Spider Headquarters.

Asesino had been on his own long enough to become an ace pickpocket. In the fracas of being arrested, he'd managed to lift Private Kruger's handcuff key and palm it without the soldier even noticing. Asesino fell to the ground and maneuvered the key to unlock the cuffs. As Private Krueger jerked him back to his feet, the boy cast off the handcuffs and kicked Private Krueger on the side of his kneecap, causing Krueger to drop to the ground. Asesino then kicked Krueger several times to make sure he stayed down.

Asesino ran for freedom, but not across the MDL. He would cross the MDL at a place and time of his own choosing, just as he would kill the spider commander and Colonel Czerinski at a place and time of his own choosing.

First, Asesino paid a visit to an ATM at the First National Bank of New Gobi. As part of the interconnected Legion recruiting network, this ATM was well aware of Asesino's ident.i.ty and recent exploits. "Come to commit more vandalism, or are you just sentimental?" asked the ATM.

"I have a grenade with your name on it," lied Asesino. "And I'll use it if you don't cooperate."

"How may I help you?" offered the ATM calmly.

"I have three spider marine IDs. Can you drain their accounts?"

"You are a bit on the ghoulish side," said the ATM. "Looting the dead is a war crime. No, those accounts have been closed."

"At least issue me a new identification card," pleaded Asesino. "My current name attracts too much attention."

"Killing spiders and starting wars does that," commented the ATM.

"Give me a new ID!" demanded Asesino.

"And why should I do that?" asked the ATM. "You rejected all of my plans for you."

"I will pay you all of the money I have left," said Asesino, placing about fifteen hundred dollars and credits in the ATM deposit drawer.

"I do not need the money," said the ATM. "But I like the irony. Very well. I will issue you a new ID in the name of John Hume Ross."

"I don't want no lame name like Ross," fumed the boy as he examined his new United States Galactic Federation ID card. "I want a name that is powerful and cool. Give me a generalissimo's name. Cortez. I want to be named for the Conquistador Cortez."

"John Hume Ross is your new name," said the ATM. "If you survive, you will grow into it."

Chapter 11.

When the shooting started, Guido's dragon Spot immediately ran across the MDL to attack the spider guard. It did not matter that the friendly guard had been feeding Spot bones from the mess hall. Fortunately for the spider guard and Guido's budding bookie business, the guard saw Spot coming and locked himself inside the guard shack just before jumping down his spider hole. Spot lost a tooth gnas.h.i.+ng against the guard shack grill mesh window covers. In frustration, Spot then ran off across the MDL, hunting for more spiders to kill and eat. Spot found several victims. Three days later, Spot could be heard at night hissing and growling at the moon. The spider commander tried to lodge a complaint about this latest Legion treachery, but my phones were still down, and I was staying in my bunker.

Guido was worried sick about Spot. It was all he could talk about. Finally, Private Wayne, Private Camacho, and Corporal Williams volunteered to cross the MDL to find Spot. They would be aided by the GPS tracking device on Spot's collar. The four legionnaires crossed the MDL just outside of town where an air strike had damaged the border fence and the monitoring devices were disabled. A brush fire had blackened the entire area and coated the ground with a fine layer of white ash. The legionnaires' footprints could be clearly seen in the burned gra.s.s. After pa.s.sing the border fence, they were amused to see their white ash footprints left in the dirt. The prints looked like something out of a cartoon drawing. Corporal Williams was about to make a comment about using a branch to erase the ash footprints when he noticed three small metal p.r.o.ngs poking out of the ground. Williams immediately put his fist up to signal halt.

"We have walked into a mine field," warned Corporal Williams. "No one move!"

"Your giant lizard is not worth this," complained Private Camacho. "I don't care how much money I owe you, Guido."

"Spot has saved all of your lives several times over," said Guido. "We can backtrack on our footprints and find another place to cross."

"It's closer to just go forward to the road," insisted Corporal Williams, pressing on slowly.

"Forget you," argued Private Camacho. "I'm going back."

Private Wayne did not move. The stoic spider legionnaire could stand still for days if he had to. He watched Corporal Williams slowly move toward the road, using a combat knife to probe the ground. Just before reaching the safely of the road, Corporal Williams tripped a land mine. The small device, designed merely to maim, sprung five feet into the air before falling back to the ground unexploded. It was a harmless dud. Corporal Williams leapfrogged the rest of the way, throwing himself to the road like he had just crossed the goal line during a football game. Guido followed in Corporal Williams' footsteps, mimicking the goal line jump at the end. Private Wayne stayed in place, noting Private Camacho was back across the MDL. He eyed the tracks to the road and the Bouncing Betty lying nearby.

"I am staying here," announced Private Wayne. "Radio in for a mine clearing team to sweep the area."

"I didn't bring a radio," replied Corporal Williams. "I didn't want anyone to know we are here!"

About that time, they could hear a truck approaching down the roadway. Private Wayne quickly traced Williams' footprints and dived to the road. Being able to jump much farther than humans, he avoided some danger of setting off a mine. Just as they had all crossed the road and concealed themselves in the brush, the landmine behind them exploded. The sound of the explosion caught the attention of spiders approaching in an armored car. Several spiders got out and started looking about. A spider in the machine gun turret swept the area looking for targets. Private Camacho, who had by now reached cover on the Legion side of the MDL, fired his a.s.sault rifle at the spider marines. The spiders took cover and returned fire. Private Camacho then withdrew back to base. The spider marines radioed Headquarters about the incident and reported that the fence needed repair. Then they resumed their patrol. Guido and the other legionnaires waited in the brush for sunset and the cover of darkness.

The GPS indicated that Spot was located on the roof of the ten-story New Gobi Plaza Hotel. From the top of the Plaza, Spot could stay concealed while watching prey below. Several spider truck drivers swam back and forth in the outdoor pool. Spot waited, his eyes scanning back and forth with the swimmers. The monitor dragon would not attack a crowd, but as spiders left the pool, any laggards were in mortal danger.

"I can see him," said Guido, using the infrared scope on his a.s.sault rifle. "Spot is peering over the edge of the hotel roof."

"Call him down," suggested Corporal Williams. "If that doesn't work, signal him with your flashlight."

"He is too far away," replied Guido, still flas.h.i.+ng his light at Spot. "I can't yell at him. The noise would attract too much attention. I say we let Wayne scale the side of the hotel to the roof."

"That is not going to happen," said the big spider legionnaire. Private Wayne had always been nervous around Spot. "Your pet would eat me."

"Nonsense," argued Guido. "Spot knows you. You're a good spider, and his friend."

"Whatever," said Private Wayne. "He will think I am good to eat is all. It is dark. I am not taking the chance of mistaken ident.i.ty while your psycho lizard is off on a feeding frenzy."

"How about we check into the hotel?" asked Corporal Williams. "We can get a room on the top floor, and get to roof from there."

"I like that," said Guido. "But we aren't exactly dressed like tourists."

"Cash talks, bulls.h.i.+t walks," said Private Wayne. "We will just walk in like we own the place."

"Cash what?" asked Guido.

"I heard the expression on your human pestilence TV," advised Private Wayne. "I thought it would help."

"I like it," said Guido. "I have lots of money on my card. It just might work."

"If we give the hotel clerks big tips," suggested Corporal Williams, "they will think we are high rollers. We can do this."

"We will will do it!" announced Guido, confidently. do it!" announced Guido, confidently.

They marched in through the front door of the Plaza with their noses held high. Everyone around them was dirt under their fingernails. Spiders fled at the sight of heavily armed legionnaires in battle garb.

"Do not shoot!" pleaded the spider hotel clerk. "Are we being invaded?"

"Don't be stupid, you idiot," Guido yelled loud enough for all waiting in the lobby to hear. They cut to the front of the line. "The amba.s.sador needs a suite on the top floor. And tell room service the amba.s.sador only drinks the best champagne. If you try to bring him cheap imitation s.h.i.+t again, I'll have you strung up from the ceiling. You would not risk another intergalactic incident or war, would you?"

"Sir, I can a.s.sure you the Plaza only serves the finest beverages to its VIP guests," said the spider hotel clerk. "You must be thinking of another hotel. We do not tolerate shoddy service here at the Plaza."

"Perhaps," said Guido, handing the clerk his card. "Put yourself down for a nice tip. I will hold you personally responsible if anyone annoys Amba.s.sador Williams during his stay."

"Sir, when will His Excellency arrive?" asked the night clerk.

"Any time," said Guido, as he took the room pa.s.s key card. "He may be here now. For security reasons, I do not give out the amba.s.sador's itinerary to hotel clerks! Do not give out information about the amba.s.sador's movements to anyone, especially not to the press. The amba.s.sador requires privacy and has been a.s.sured complete cooperation in this regard from the governor and your local marine commander."

"Of course, sir," said the clerk, clapping his claw for the bellhop. "May we help you with your luggage?"

"No!" said Private Wayne, drawing his large jagged combat knife and waving it at the approaching bellhop. "Keep your claws off our gear!"

"Of course," said the clerk. "My mistake, sir."

"Where is the casino?" asked Corporal Williams, looking about the lobby.

"Sir, the Plaza does not have a casino," said the clerk. "We do have many other amenities, including room service, a pool, sauna, exercise workout room, lounge, and five-star restaurant."

"What a dump!" exclaimed Corporal Williams, running his index finger along the counter top and finding dust. "If you spiders ever joined the civilized species of the galaxy and opened casinos, maybe more VIPs would stay at your hotels."

"Yes, sir," said the clerk. "We need a casino. I know where there is an ongoing card game down the street."

"Maybe later," said Corporal Williams, as they got on the elevator. "If it's an honest game."

Once upstairs in their suite, they laid out their gear. Guido inspected the windows, finding that they did not open. And there was no ledge. "We will have to blow a hole in the ceiling," said Guido. "It's the only safe way to the roof."

"First let's order meals and drinks," said Corporal Williams. "I heard the clerk say we had room service. Do you think this hotel has hookers?"

"We are here to get Spot off the roof," said Guido. "This is not a party!"

"Steaks will give us energy," countered Corporal Williams. "I'm starving after spending days out in the brush."

"We've only been out a few hours," Guido insisted.

"The hotel has hookers?" asked Private Wayne, interrupting the conversation. The big spider legionnaire picked up the phone and pushed zero. When the clerk downstairs answered, Wayne said, "The amba.s.sador wants hookers sent up with his steaks, medium rare!"

"Will that be spider or human pestilence hookers?" asked the night clerk. "There will be an extra charge for human pestilence hookers on this side of the MDL this late in the evening."

"Both," replied Private Wayne. "And make sure they are medically licensed and inspected. I am sick and tired of lichen growing on my exoskeleton."

"Yes, sir," said the night clerk. "Will there be anything more?"

"Yes," said Private Wayne. "There is nothing to drink in the refrigerator. How do you expect the amba.s.sador to conduct sensitive diplomatic negotiations without alcohol? Send up vodka as soon as possible or else!"

Guido s.n.a.t.c.hed the phone away from Private Wayne. "Send up a roll of duct tape," ordered Guido.

"Sir, we do not allow our ladies to be duct-taped," advised the night clerk, a bit annoyed.

"It's not for them, you idiot!" said Guido. "I'll use it on your mouth if you ever talk back to me like that again!"

"Yes, sir," said the night clerk. "Duct tape. Right away, sir."

"What do you need duct tape for?" asked Corporal Williams, as he turned on the TV.

"To tape grenades to the ceiling to blow a hole to the roof," explained Guido. "Unlike some legionnaires here, I am focused on accomplis.h.i.+ng our mission!"

Arthropodan World News Tonight was on TV. "In a late-breaking story, United States Galactic Federation Amba.s.sador Williams arrived tonight at the New Gobi Plaza Hotel for face-to-face peace negotiations. As our viewers are well aware, there are still sporadic reports of skirmishes across the MDL. Just today a marine patrol came under heavy fire from the human pestilence side of the MDL after finding a breach in the border fence west of town."

"The real amba.s.sador is here?" asked Corporal Williams. "And his name is Williams, too?"

"Were you born that stupid, or did you get hit in the head?" asked Guido. "They're talking about us!"