Just like falling in love, becoming a legend, winning in a sport, a Stanley Cup, a game, finding your way, your mind, body, heart, all of it operated on muscle memory. You experienced it before, and your body reacted to the signals you gave it to do things like playing hockey, falling in love, giving away your heart. But something, an unexpected action that you hadn't done before, lingers under the surface, one your muscles had no memory of doing.

I did what I said I wouldn't do. I looked up and saw Ami pressed against the gla.s.s, her starry blue eyes on mine. We got caught for a moment, locked together, until I gave her a c.o.c.ky nod.

I could hear the giggle she let out, well not really, the crowd was pretty f.u.c.king loud, but I liked to think I heard it.

With the puck on my stick, I charged forward, hunched in position, keeping control and avoiding the defense. It was the critical moment when my concentration turned to commitment. I took off from the red line, taking my time as I swept right and then left and back right. Changing puck possession from side to side, I pa.s.sed to Remy. Remy got it back to Leo, and then when I thought he'd take the shot, he pa.s.sed it back to me. I used my stick handling speed to my advantage, like some kind of find the ball under the hat game. Sealy kept up, his eyes low on my movements, antic.i.p.ating my move.

Their defense was strong, blocking, but I took the wrist shot and swept it under Sealy's leg to catch just the tip of the crossbar. It bounced off Sealy's pad and went in.

Lucky f.u.c.king shot, but it went in.

The Blackhawks hadn't won a Cup since 1961, the second longest drought in NHL history. It felt good. I might have scored the goal, but I couldn't take credit for it all by myself. It was Remy who kept it in control, judging the right time to pa.s.s to Leo. It was Leo who waited until I found an opening. I might have been the one that scored, but it was the Chicago Blackhawks who won-together.

Since playing in the NHL, I'd never made a show of a goal because I didn't score that much. I wasn't out there to score. But hey, when you were the one that won the game with the winning goal in overtime, a strip tease was warranted in my mind. I didn't give a strip tease, but f.u.c.k if I wasn't excited. I was shouting and jumping and pumping my fists, and then my team was all over me. I couldn't see anything besides my boys piling on me, all with the same exaggerated enthusiasm.

From the time you were a little boy, red faced, frozen hands, and a runny nose, you dreamed of hoisting that Cup, but you never thought that it would actually be you someday. The thing was, I knew it would be me someday.

Every team, every coach, and every player started out the season with the same goal in their head. They wanted that Stanley Cup, and they literally had no other interest in mind.

Those same coaches and players, as the season progressed and they're suddenly looking at a 22-36 ratio, they never lost sight of what it meant to hoist that Cup.

So in September, November, December, and March, when you've battled and defeated the odds, you finally saw that you worked toward that one goal together.

Just like anything in life, love, happiness, family, all of it...you worked toward one goal and then it was within reach.

As I looked at Ami, the meaning behind what we were and what we overcame held just as much, if not more, meaning now.

Goal A goal is scored when the puck crosses completely over the goal line within the goal frame.

After winning a Stanley Cup and hoisting that Cup over your head, you did one thing: you celebrated. In more ways than one.

Guess how I celebrated?

"Make love to me," she said, eyes on mine, the high of the victory radiating through both of us.

"Do you know what it is you're asking for?" My hands moved hers over her head against the pillow, my head dipped forward to tease the skin of her neck.

"I'm asking for you, Evan."

My fingers shook as they went for my shirt. It was different this time, I could feel it. We weren't going to stop, not after tonight and the win.

When her hands went to the nightstand and she pulled out a condom, I smiled, the room spinning a little less. "You sure?"

"Yes, are you?" she asked, holding me in place. "You're swaying again."

I touched my finger to my nose. "Perfectly fine."

Ami laughed and quickly got the wrapper open. As she touched me, placing the condom on, I had to close my eyes, my hand grazed the side of her bare breast and then moved to her face.

When she got it on and lay back against the bed, I fell forward, supporting my weight with my arms. "I can't believe we won the Stanley Cup," I said, the win still heavy on my mind.

"Okay, dude, we're about to have s.e.x." Her hands lifted mine back to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Let's concentrate on that."

"Oh, I am..." I pushed my erection into her hips, letting her know I was all for that. "It's just been an unreal night...and now here you are..." My lips moved from her neck to her ear, over her jaw, and then found her lips. I whispered against them, pulling her down on top of me, "...loving me, wanting me despite my drunk a.s.s."

"You're not that drunk, remember?" Her finger moved to tap the tip of my nose.

I was nervous, but I wasn't going to show it, and honestly a little terrified. I was thankful for the alcohol. I could only imagine what I would have been like. But there was also an energy I had never felt before. Not even in a game. Not even in a Stanley Cup win.

I blinked down at her, struggling to keep my composure.

All joking and teasing aside, there was still something incredibly intimate happening. I didn't necessarily want our first time to happen when I was drunk, but like I said, I wasn't that drunk. I was still very much aware of what was about to happen between us. For a moment, I froze.

Ami gave me these looks. She always had. They were just looks, but then they weren't because if I really looked behind the starry blue, it told me so much more than her words ever could. This look, the one she was giving me right now, told me that she waited for me. She was about to give me a piece of herself she'd never given to another. It didn't matter that someone stole her virginity, like it was a f.u.c.king car stereo they jacked. Her virginity was something she was giving, and it wouldn't be lost until she gave it. This look, that one, it was telling me it was mine to take.

My hands moved down her body to her hips, my face lowering again, finding her lips as I situated myself at her entrance. That was when I noticed her shaking. "You're trembling. Are you nervous?"

"A little," she murmured, unable to hide the fear in her eyes.

My hands moved, resting over her heart, and the other curled around her neck. "Don't be. I'll never hurt you." My hands wandered down her body, lingering for a few moments, before I brought my eyes back to hers.

Her eyes fluttered closed when she felt me there. I could feel her body tense, but she pulled on my shoulders, telling me she wanted it as I slowly entered her.

She winced, unable to hold back, burying her face in my shoulder. I wanted to ask her if she was okay, if I hurt her. Technically, she was a virgin. It would still be like her first time for a while.

"Jesus," I groaned. Ami's eyes opened, focusing on my words that continued to fall from my lips. I had no idea what I was saying, but it was a lot of groaning and cussing. It felt too f.u.c.king good not to. At some point I moved my lips to her shoulder, trying to control the moan when she wrapped her legs around me, inadvertently letting me go deeper.

"Careful," I told her, struggling to catch my breath. "We need to be careful."

"I know."

"Look at me. I need to see that you're okay." I moved again, this time my hand moved and angled her chin up so I could see her eyes. They had tears in them and her chin was quivering. But I knew she was okay. The tears weren't from pain. It probably hurt; the tightness consuming me told me I was stretching her enough that she had to feel some pain. Those tears, the ones falling freely from her eyes, told me that she felt what I wanted her to feel. The pa.s.sion, the love, all of it was plastered across her face, mirroring my own. This memory, the one happening right now was something I never wanted to forget. It was a moment in time I knew I would want to relive. I would want to take a snapshot of her face, the one telling me I was the first and I would be her last, I knew that by her expression. That was why I wanted this memory with me forever. Nothing is forever, I'm not stupid, but this memory, it could be.

I wanted this. For so long I wanted this. I wanted to feel her beneath me. I wanted to make love in the warmth of her blue eyes and be the stars I saw in them. I was.

I would do anything for this girl. And she knew that. It had never been about the s.e.x for me. There was always something deeper with her, and I saw that from the very beginning. It was about her and what I saw in those starry blues. It was everything she told me through them.

It felt different being with Ami than it did with other girls. Maybe because I loved her and didn't love the others. Maybe it was because she loved me and not what we were doing, or maybe it was just Ami and everything with her was different. The way she looked at me, the way she touched me, the words she said, it was all different from everything else I had ever felt.

I knew when her hips began to move, still wincing from me being inside her, that I wasn't going to last long. It'd been six months since I had s.e.x with anyone. I wasn't lasting long.

My movements became slightly more frantic as I rocked against her. Ami found my eyes again. I wanted her to come but knew that wasn't happening. For one, she was probably in too much pain. And two, I wasn't lasting long enough for that. Maybe next time.

Being with her like this was more than I imagined. And I imagined it a lot. Believe me. I was suffocating in the sensation of her, and I wasn't willing to breathe without her breath in my lungs.

It felt good to be close with her like this, feel myself moving inside her. Sure there was fear and anger anytime I thought about how I fell for her and who had hurt her, but this girl wrecked me. I was here, physically conveying my love.

Ami took my face in her hands and kissed me, pouring more emotion and love into that one kiss than I had ever felt in my lifetime.

There were so many times these last five months that I had to physically stop myself from feeling or thinking certain emotions, afraid of where they would lead me. Right here, right now, I wanted to feel everything, breathe it in, and remember it. I wanted her to feel those very same things just by touching my skin and feeling my breath.

I loved her. I wanted her not just to know it but to feel it consume her. I wanted my love beating in her heart.

When I came, she was watching me, the same pa.s.sion displayed on her face as I felt. My eyes closed, feeling every last electrifying pulsation throughout my body. My breath, heavy and warm, touched her cheek and she sighed, her arms wrapping around me a little tighter.

Pressing my lips to her neck, I whispered that I loved her, so quietly, but I knew she heard me.

Rolling to lay beside her, I removed the condom.

That was when I heard her whimper, her hands brushing over her cheeks. The lighting was low, but I could see the tears sliding from the corner of her eyes.

"s.h.i.t...are you okay?" I asked, pulling the sheets up and around her shivering frame. My breath washed over her, turning her to face me. My hands gently cradled her head.

"Yes." Her voice shook. She wasn't okay. "I just have something in my eye."

"Bulls.h.i.t." I touched her cheek, wiping away the tears with my thumb. "Did I hurt you?"

"No really, I have something in my eye," she lied, trying her luck again and sniffing, her body still trembling.

"Come here, you little emotional girl." I patted the bed, trying to coax her over to me.

She hesitated for a brief moment, wiping her eyes, and then looked over at me and then back to the ceiling. "All right, not so drunk boy, I'm gonna be a total emotional girl right now." I laughed, watching the tears as she refused to look at me, instead staring at the ceiling. "Can you just hold me?"

"I thought you just had something in your eye?" I whispered into her hair, my arms loosening around her so I could rub smooth circles over her back.

"I do. Tears."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Just hold me. Stop talking. You're ruining my moment."

I did.

"Don't let go," she begged, tightening her arms around me. "Please, don't ever let go."

My arms wrapped a little tighter, an unspoken promise I would never break.

It had taken me a while, but I finally realized that Ami didn't need me to protect her. Though I always would, she needed me to be there for her. Just be there.

"Did it hurt?" I asked, pouring her a cup of coffee the next morning. My condo was trashed. There were beer bottles, red Solo cups, and empty bags of chips. A party went down here last night. After we got back from Philly, the party ended up at my place and then eventually at Leo's. I knew his place was worse than this, but instead of cleaning, I had other ideas for our afternoon together.

"Yes, at first, but it got better." Her eyes lifted from her cereal bowl and winked. "Wanna try again?"

I quirked an eyebrow, acknowledging her statement, and then swiftly carried her away. It was amazing how fast I was able to scoop her up.

She squealed when I slammed the door to the bathroom shower. My hands fell from her wrists, having moved to her hips, and settled on her panties. Bunching the fabric in my fingers, I gave them a rough and sudden tug that tore them away.

"f.u.c.k, you feel so good," I moaned when I entered her moments later.

"I love your voice." She arched around me, her body curving to me.

"I know you do." I moved to kiss her brow.

"Evan..." She breathed. My d.i.c.k was so f.u.c.king hard it hurt, actually ached. "f.u.c.k me the way a hockey player would."

My breath came out in a growl when she said s.h.i.t like that. I struggled with that because of what she went through. I constantly had to remind myself that she'd tell me if she ever felt uncomfortable with anything we did-she would tell me.

"You've been rough before, right?"

I grinned. I was sure I had Callie to thank for that one.

"I heard-"

My kiss cut her off. "I don't care what you heard. You're different."

"I want you. Not someone you're pretending to be."

"I'm not pretending." I tried to play off my tone, but I was concerned with where this was going. "With you...this is me."

Ami looked at me and then smiled. "I want it a little rough. I just want to see the side all those puck bunnies saw. I want to see Evan Masen the NHL defenseman."

"There wasn't that many. You know that, right?"

Ami rolled her eyes. "Still..."

I wasn't getting out of this. "f.u.c.k, fine." She noticed when I started to hesitate.

"Stop holding back," she pleaded, pressing her lips to my throat. "I want you to lose control with me. I'm not a china doll, d.a.m.n it. You won't break me, and I'm not scared of you." She looked at my amused expression. "You don't always have to be so gentle."

"I'm not," I teased. "I pulled your hair once."

She glared. "Not at all what I mean."

She bit down on my neck, just above my collarbone. I let out a low growl as my lips parted, and I started to pant. My fingers curled against her, but still, I couldn't do it.

"You'll be sore tomorrow. Ready for that?"

She looked at her underwear on the floor, and if I didn't know any better, you would have thought I had just proposed judging by the glow on her face.

I wasn't sure what Callie had told Ami about us, but I had never seen Ami that into s.e.x. She was screaming and moaning, and f.u.c.k if I didn't give it to her. Once I got into it, it felt good to finally relax with her and not have to be so gentle.

Her mouth fell open, steam rolled around us, mixing with our heavy breath. Her fingers clawed at my back and hair as I buried myself in her neck, frantically pumping into her over and over again. Our skin slapped together, and the bathroom echoed with desperate cries and grunts.

Her legs clamped around me, digging into the backs of my thighs with her heels. When I knew and felt that she had come, I couldn't hold back. My hand returned to her hair, clutching at the strands as my mouth found her neck. My body stiffened, and my mouth closed around her skin, biting as I released inside her.

I could feel her heart pounding against my chest matching mine. Beads of water streamed over her smiling face as I untangled us. My head dropped against the wall when she moved behind me to go under the spray of water. She tipped her head back wetting her hair. "f.u.c.k, you're gonna kill me before next season." I panted.

Ami giggled. "We make a good team."