I closed my eyes and shook my head aggressively, trying to clear the l.u.s.t that seemed to be clouding my brain like a shroud. I was so not not gonna let this guy trick me, seduce me, or entice me into having s.e.x with him in any way, shape, or form. gonna let this guy trick me, seduce me, or entice me into having s.e.x with him in any way, shape, or form.

Not gonna happen, I said to myself while I felt my body starting to get all hot and bothered just by his I said to myself while I felt my body starting to get all hot and bothered just by his stupid stupid "mere presence." This attraction to the Devil's protege was getting a "mere presence." This attraction to the Devil's protege was getting a tad tad bit ridiculous. bit ridiculous.

Daniel raised an eyebrow while, at the same time, continuing to rub Cerberus's heavy belly with both his hands. The three-headed traitor-begging for Daniel's attention like the b.i.t.c.h it wasn't-was almost four times bigger than the Devil's protege, but Daniel just treated the mutt like an overeager Labrador retriever. He obviously had the pack-leader thing down pat.

Who the h.e.l.l was I kidding when I thought I could pull a Cesar Millan and get Cerberus under my sway? What a joke, I thought angrily as I watched the three dumb old dog heads drool happily all over my rival. I thought angrily as I watched the three dumb old dog heads drool happily all over my rival.

"You know d.a.m.n well I'm supposed to be getting one of that three-headed mutt's pups! And you are consciously trying to stop me!" I almost yelled, hearing the shrillness in my voice, and feeling only slightly bad for being such a b.i.t.c.h about the whole thing.

Daniel stopped patting the dog and gave me his full attention.

"By all means, go get one of the puppies, then," he said, indicating with his head over to where four small cuddly-looking puppies were huddling together over by the right-hand side of the gate.

"I'll just keep Cerb in a state of doggie relaxation so you can steal from him," he said with only the merest hint of sarcasm. I glowered at him, then I started toward the adorable mound of puppyness, my heart in my mouth.

"Oh my G.o.d, they're sooooo cute!" I said as I got closer to the little guys. They really were cuter than the cutest thing I'd ever seen-I mean, cuter, even, than those cavorting puppy, kitten, bunny, and duckling calendars you find in earnest around Easter time.

"Wait!" I heard a frantic voice calling behind me. I turned back around to find Jarvis cantering right for me. Actually, he was half cantering, half lurching, his mouth set in a firm line. As he got closer, I saw that he didn't look well at all. His face was the color of the faux marble vanity in my bathroom-nicotine stain yellow with hints of moldy green veining. Truth be told, he actually looked worse than my bathroom vanity-more like a big, faun-shaped piece of Gorgonzola cheese that was trying desperately not to pa.s.s out.

"You can't trust him," Jarvis said as he caught up to me, giving Daniel a disdainful scowl. "Look what he did to me! He wanted to keep you from completing your task, so he jinxed me!"

"Are you okay?" I yelped, taking a step back from Jarvis and glaring at Daniel. "What did you do to him, you big bully?"

Daniel opened his mouth to answer me, but I stopped him before he could get a word out.

"No, on second thought, I don't want to know what what you did. I just want you to undo it!" I growled. "And I mean you did. I just want you to undo it!" I growled. "And I mean now now!"

Daniel stood up, leaving Cerberus on the ground all drunk with affection, and walked over to where Jarvis and I waited only a few feet away from the puppies.

"It was a festering curse if you were curious."

I didn't say a word, just pointed to Jarvis, my mouth set in a firm line. Without a word, Daniel sighed and mumbled a word under his breath, lifting the curse. Immediately, Jarvis was back to normal, glaring daggers at the Devil's protege.

It was amazing, but if I hadn't just seen Jarvis looking like fermented cow's milk, I wouldn't have known he'd been spelled at all . . . and I had to admit Daniel's prowess with the whole magic thing was pretty s.e.xy. My curiosity almost had me asking Daniel for an instant replay-just for fun-but Jarvis's scowl held my tongue.

"That was amazing," I said huskily.

Jarvis turned his glare in my direction, but I ignored him, instead focusing my attention on Daniel, who shrugged, very aware of the note of interest lingering in my voice.

"It's only magic, babe. Easy as pie. I bet you could cast that one yourself without batting an eyelash."

I giggled.

"It's like two adolescent cats in heat," Jarvis said under his breath, looking heavenward.

"No, not really," I replied, still ignoring Jarvis and his snide little comments. I was getting tired of his cra.s.s remarks about my behavior. It was obvious he thought his character was way beyond reproach-and that mine mine was at the was at the perfect perfect level to be mocked. level to be mocked.

"My father was dead set against any of us using magic in the house, so my magical training was pretty limited-"

I figured this would drive Jarvis nutty, mentioning my father, and I was right-he instantly hissed at me to shut up. I knew I shouldn't be giving Daniel any ammunition against me, but it was weird . . . for the first time I found myself wanting wanting to talk about what it was like to grow up as Death's Daughter. I couldn't help myself. I was suddenly desperate to talk to someone, anyone, to spill out my whole life story to whoever was willing to listen . . . especially this to talk about what it was like to grow up as Death's Daughter. I couldn't help myself. I was suddenly desperate to talk to someone, anyone, to spill out my whole life story to whoever was willing to listen . . . especially this very very engaging, engaging, very very handsome stranger. handsome stranger.

"Go on," Daniel said, watching me intently.

"Mistress Calliope, I must insist-"

"Be quiet, Jarvis," I said. "I don't care who he is. He asked me a question, and you can't make me not answer it."

Daniel gave Jarvis a smug look, but the faun didn't immediately respond with the p.i.s.sed-off look my waywardness usually provoked. Instead, when I looked over at him, his face was a study in utter disappointment.

"As you wish, mistress."

He turned around, and started to walk back toward the outcrop of rocks we'd originally been hiding behind.

"Jarvis?" I called after him, but he didn't turn around or stop walking. He kept slowly putting distance between us, each footstep like a lead mallet beating on my heart, making me feel like a total jerkoid.

"He'll get over it," Daniel said, taking a step forward and reaching for my hand. His lips were warm when they pressed themselves against the skin of my knuckles, and I couldn't help but forget Jarvis in the rush of "s.e.xual healing" that overwhelmed me. I looked up into Daniel's eyes, letting those two chips of Antarctic ice suck me in. He leaned forward, and I could smell his pepperminty breath as his face inched forward, his lips moving closer and closer, the antic.i.p.ation dragging on so long I was gonna scream if he didn't b.l.o.o.d.y kiss me already.

His mouth was warm when it touched mine, and after the first initial panic of bad breath worry, I relaxed into the kiss, letting his tongue find its way inside my mouth.

That was when I started to gag.

Instead of yummy man saliva, my mouth was suddenly filled with the nasty, peculiarly bitter flavor that I can only only a.s.sociate with earwax. I pushed Daniel away with both hands, trying desperately to clear my mouth of the horrible taste. a.s.sociate with earwax. I pushed Daniel away with both hands, trying desperately to clear my mouth of the horrible taste.

"That's disgusting," I spat, stepping away from him.

Speechless, Daniel blinked, and that was when I saw him for what he truly was: a creep. Somehow that kiss had broken whatever spell Daniel seemed to have over me. I could stand right next to him, staring into his eyes, and feel absolutely . . . nothing.

"Yes!" I said out loud, raising my fist in triumph. "You got nothing on me, buddy!" I stuck my tongue out at him, then turned and walked right over to the mound of squirming puppies. Daniel stared at me, his mouth open, but no sound escaping from his handsome maw.

"I'm getting a pup, and then I am so so out of here." out of here."

I knelt down beside the pups, and looked them over. There were four of them, and not a one had three heads. I decided to take the runt of the litter, who was about half the size of its larger siblings-or roughly the size of a suckling pig.

"C'mere, Runt," I said, scooping up the puppy in my arms and letting it lick my face happily. "Why's it only got one head?" I said, looking back at Daniel for an answer.

He hesitated, then finally spoke, his eyes uncertain when they looked into mine.

"They're all females."

"Cool," I replied. "Two b.i.t.c.hes to drive Jarvis crazy."

I snapped my fingers, and suddenly the oversized Cerberus halter was gone, and in its place a small pink halter with silver rhinestones appeared in my hand. I put Runt down, slipping the halter over her tiny neck. She was so cute with her pink eyes, pink halter, and shiny black coat. I didn't think I could've come up with a more perfect dog for myself if I'd tried.

"I guess the whole magic thing is is easy as pie, babe," I said, giving Daniel a wink. easy as pie, babe," I said, giving Daniel a wink.

I looked over to where Cerberus was still rolling around in the dirt, and shook my head.

"Who knew all you h.e.l.l boys were such pushovers?" I said, shrugging as I led Runt past Daniel-who still didn't seem to grasp that I was a free agent-and followed the path I had last seen Jarvis take.

"Wait a minute," Daniel said as I pa.s.sed him. "Calliope Reaper-Jones, you will do what I say right now."

The look on his face was priceless, so full of egoistic arrogance. He was so totally convinced that I was gonna turn right back around and start kissing his toes that it was kinda sad.

"I don't think so, Mr. Devil's protege," I answered over my shoulder, not even stopping to rub it in his face. "But thanks for the thought."

I couldn't believe how well that had gone. I'd gotten one of Cerberus's pups, kicked Daniel to the curb, and was well on my way to becoming the head honcho of Death, Inc. Life is sweet. Life is sweet.

No sooner were those words a thought bubble above my head than I heard a low, menacing growl directly behind me.

"c.r.a.p," I said under my breath, not wanting to turn around but knowing I was going to have to.

"Good doggie," I said as I found myself staring right into Cerberus's giant, unblinking eye. Snarly head looked superp.i.s.sed, and the two other heads were just . . . drooling. Probably fantasizing about how yummy my flesh was gonna taste when they were crunching it between their teeth.

I looked for Daniel, hoping he would call the monster doggie off, but he was gone. He'd obviously left in a snit to let me face my own fate.

"Jarvis!" I squeaked, hoping he was still close enough to come to my rescue, but I got no reply. I was gonna have to deal with the situation all by my lonely. Smiling stiffly at my pup's perturbed daddies, I swallowed hard and tried to regain my composure.

"Look, Mr. Cerberus, sir," I said as calmly as I could manage. "I really need to borrow your little girl, here, so I can save my father and sister from certain doom. I know this isn't your problem, and I'm not asking you to even understand, but trust me when I say that I'll be back with Runt as soon as I can."

The last words came in a rush, but I was pretty sure I'd said my piece, and said it reasonably well. I waited, hoping that Cerberus understood enough English not to bite my one and only head off.

"Well, why didn't you just ask? Take whatever you need to help your father."

I nearly peed on myself when those words came out of old Snarly's mouth.

"Excuse me?" I said, not sure I was hearing and seeing what I thought I was hearing and seeing.

Snarly head sighed, then closed its eye in disdain.

"Look," it began, opening its eye again and fixing me with a hard stare. "The intelligent thing would have been to ask me first, rather than wasting all of our time with your pointless subterfuge."

"Oh," I stammered. I guess it I guess it is is always best to be honest about what you want. always best to be honest about what you want.

"Just bring Giselda back as soon as you've completed your business, and I will consider you to be in my favor," Snarly head continued.

"You mean . . . I'll owe you."

Snarly head smiled, and it was a nasty one.

"Precisely."

"And if I'd just asked in the first place, I wouldn't owe you?" I asked.

The big dog shrugged.

"d.a.m.n," I said under my breath. "Okay, two more things."

I looked down at Runt, who happily wagged her tail. "So . . . her name's Giselda and can she talk the way you do?"

"Not for a few more months," Snarly head replied. "Now does that answer all of your questions? Because I have a gate to guard, and it ain't gonna guard itself."

"Yes. Thank you, sir."

"And be careful. You have precious cargo with you," Snarly head said as he turned tail and sauntered back to his rightful place in front of the North Gate of h.e.l.l.

"Well, that was craziness," I said, shaking my head in wonder at Runt, who just looked up at me with those wise pink eyes. "Let's go find Jarvis and get out of here."

We started forward, Runt almost dragging me behind her, she was so excited to be out on her own for the first time.

"Okay, Giselda," I said. "You won't mind really if I just call you Runt-"

Without warning, something cool and firm encircled my left wrist, and I heard the sharp metallic click of that something being snapped into place. Next, I was twisted backward, so that Runt's lead was pulled taut around my legs, wrapping so tightly around my ankles that I fell forward, my face almost slamming into the hard-packed dirt.

Behind me, my poor little doggie companion gave one low growl, which was instantly silenced.

"If you hurt her-" I yelled, my mouth tasting clay and grit as a pair of strong arms wrapped viselike around me and pushed my face deep down into the dirt, shutting me up in the process.

I shuddered with fear, my heart beating wildly in my throat as I felt my attacker's hot breath on my neck. Then a calm, male voice sounded right into my ear: "You're coming downtown with me, Miss Reaper-Jones."

twelve.

"Let me go, you jerkoid!" I yelled as I was roughly hauled up onto my feet and shoved forward.

While I had still been pinned to the ground, my a.s.sailant had pulled my free hand behind my back and secured it alongside my already tethered one, making it impossible for me to pinch, punch, slap, or scratch my way out of the situation. Since my feet were still free (unlike my hands), I had to do what the b.a.s.t.a.r.d wanted: namely putting one foot in front of the other.

I totally felt like one of those poor declawed cats you sometimes saw sitting morosely in apartment windows forever imprisoned by their human masters for "their own safety."

Well, if they hadn't been declawed in the first place, I thought angrily, I thought angrily, they wouldn't need saving, now would they? they wouldn't need saving, now would they?

Okay, I desperately wanted my claws back.

As we went along, my attacker kept one hand firmly on my back, while the other hand was mysteriously missing in action. I just hoped the missing hand was in possession of Runt's leash, or there would be some serious h.e.l.l to pay when I got out of this mess.

"Come on, let me go! You're hurting hurting me," I moaned miserably. me," I moaned miserably.

I hated to act all girly and whiny, but I figured it was worth a shot.

Sadly, my protestations got no response, so I twisted my body around, trying to get a better look at my captor and to see if Runt was still with us. I immediately saw the little puppy happily trotting beside me, no more than a foot or so away. Her coat was covered in a fine layer of dust and her tongue was hanging out of her mouth from exertion and heat, but other than that, she seemed to be fine. Her leash trailed behind her, dust eddying around it as it snaked through the dirt-which accounted for her having gotten so dirty in such a short amount of time. It was obvious she was following me of her own volition, which made my heart kind of leap in my chest with happiness.

"Good girl," I said under my breath, sending good vibes in her direction. She must have felt them because she looked up at me and wagged her tail.

Turning my head as far as it would go to the right, I was finally able to get a good look at my attacker.