"You nave simpleton," Claude said scathingly. "How hard have you worked at ignoring what was going on all around you, so you could stay with us?"

Claude was just being mean now. If I'd had any sleep, I wouldn't have snapped then, but I hadn't, and I did. "Claude Crane, you are just being an A-number-one asshole," I exploded. "And you shut up right now!"

I'd succeeded in startling Claude, and he turned his gaze on me for just a second, but Dermot took advantage of that second to hit Claude as hard as he could, which proved to be plenty hard. Claude lurched to his right, and Dermot kept punching. Of course, the element of surprise was gone after the first blow. Claude had another skill besides stripping. He could fight dirty.

The two launched into it, two beautiful men doing something so ugly I could hardly bear to watch.

The heaviest thing around was a lamp that had belonged to my great-grandmother. With a flash of reluctance I picked it up. I proposed to bash Claude's head in, if I got the opportunity.

But then my back door flew open and Bellenos bounded through my kitchen and down the hall. He had a true sword in his hand, instead of his deer-hunting spear. Gift was with him, long knives in both her hands. Three more of the Monroe fae were with them: two of the strippers, the fairy "policeman" and the part demon who'd worn leather when he'd come onstage. The curvy ticket taker followed. She hadn't bothered with looking human today.

"Help Dermot!" I yelled, hoping that was what they'd come to do. To my overwhelming relief, they whooped with excitement and threw themselves into the brawl. There was a lot of unnecessary punching and biting, but when they were sure Claude was subdued, they all began laughing. Even Dermot.

At least I was able to put the lamp back on the table.

"Would someone tell me what's going on?" I asked. I felt (as usual with the supes) two steps behind the crowd, and no telepath enjoys feeling that way. I was going to have to hang around with humans for a long time to make up for this sad ignorance.

"My dearest sister," Bellenos said. He smiled that disconcerting smile at me. He looked especially toothy today, and since there was blood between some of those teeth, the effect was not reassuring.

"Hi, y'all," was the best I could do, but they all grinned back, and Gift gave Dermot an enthusiastic kiss. Her extra eyelid flickered down and up again, almost too fast for me to note.

In the meantime, Claude was lying on the floor in a panting, bloody bundle. There was still plenty of fight in him, from the glares he was throwing around, but he was so clearly outnumbered that it seemed he'd given up ... at least temporarily. The ticket taker was sitting on his legs, and the two strippers were each pinning one arm.

Gift came to sit by me; I'd collapsed on the couch. She put her arm around me. "Claude was trying to incite us to rebel against Niall," she said kindly. "Sister, I'm surprised he didn't try to test your loyalty, too."

"Well, he wouldn't have gotten very far!" I said. "I would have thrown him out in a New York minute!"

"Then see, that was intelligent of you, Claude," said Bellenos, bending over to speak to Claude face-to-face. "One of the few intelligent things you did." Claude glared at him.

Dermot shook his handsome head. "All this time I thought I must try to emulate Claude, because he had been so successful out here in the human world. But I realized that when he thought people were pleased with him, he didn't perceive that it was only because he is beautiful. Much more often, when he talked to people, they came to regard him with dislike. I couldn't believe it, but he'd done well in spite of himself, not because of his own talents."

"He does like children," I said weakly. "And he's nice to pregnant women."

"Yes, that's true," the policeman stripper said. "By the way, you can just call me Dirk, my stripping name. Siobhan is sitting on Claude's legs. And this is Harley. I'm sure you remember Harley."

"Oh, yeah, who could forget Harley?" I said. Even under the circumstances, I had a gratifying flashback of how Harley's straight black hair and coppery red body had looked under the lights at Hooligans. Harley tried to bow from a crouching position, which isn't easy, and Siobhan grinned at me. "So ... Claude really was locked out of Faery, along with you-all? That wasn't a lie?"

"No, not a lie," said Dermot sadly. "My father hated me because he thought I'd always worked against him. But I was cursed. I thought he'd done the cursing, but I see now it must have been Claude all along. Claude, you betrayed me and then kept me trotting behind you like a dog."

Claude began to speak in another language, and then the fae moved with an unbelievable speed. Gift yanked off her bra top, and Harley stuffed it in Claude's mouth. It would have been petty of me to take any notice of Gift's bare chest, so I rose above it.

"That was a secret fairy language?" I hated to ask, but I just wanted to know. My days of ignorance were over.

Dirk nodded. "We speak to each other that way; it's what we have in common: full fairy, demon, angel, all the half-breeds."

"Dermot, did you and Claude really come here because of my fairy blood?" I asked Dermot. Claude's mouth was otherwise occupied.

"Yes," Dermot said uncertainly. "Though Claude said there was something here that attracted him, and he spent hours when you were gone searching your house. When he couldn't find what he wanted here, he thought perhaps it was in the furniture you sold. He went to that shop and broke in to examine all the furniture again."

I felt a little bubble of rage float to the top of my brain. "Though I was nice enough to let him live with me. He searched my house. Went through my stuff. While I was gone."

Dermot nodded. From the guilty glance he gave me, I was pretty damn sure Claude had enlisted my great-uncle in his search.

"What was he looking for?" Harley asked curiously.

"He sensed a fairy object in Sookie's house, a fairy influence."

They all looked at me, simultaneously, with sharp attention.

"Gran-you-all know my fairy blood comes from my grandmother and Fintan, right?" They all nodded and blinked. I was sure glad I hadn't been trying to keep that a secret. "Gran was friends with Mr. Cataliades, through Fintan." They nodded again, more slowly. "He left something here, but when he stopped by a few days ago, he picked it up."

They appeared to accept that pretty well. At least no one leaped up to say, "You liar, you have it in your pocket!"

Claude thrashed on the floor. Clearly, he wanted to put in his two cents' worth, and I was glad the bra was in his mouth.

"If I'm getting to ask questions ..." I said, waiting for Bellenos to interrupt, to tell me my time was up. But that didn't happen.

"Claude, I know you tried to sabotage me and Eric. But I don't know why."

Dirk raised interrogative eyebrows. Did I want him to remove the gag?

"Maybe you can just let me know if I get something right," I suggested, hoping that the gag stayed in. "Did you go to Jannalynn for help because you wanted to enlist a shifter of some kind?"

Glaring at me, Claude nodded.

"Who's that?" Dermot whispered, as if the air would answer him.

"Jannalynn Hopper is the second of the Long Tooth pack in Shreveport," I said. "She's been dating my boss, Sam Merlotte. But she hates me, which is a long story for some other time, though it's pretty boring. Anyway, I knew she'd love to do me a bad turn if she could. And the young woman who got murdered in Eric's front yard turned out to be a half-Were with a death wish and severe financial problems, ripe for a desperate plan, I figure. Claude, you gave her some of your blood to make her alluring to Eric, I think?"

The fae all looked absolutely aghast. I couldn't have said anything more abhorrent to them. "You gave your sacred blood to a mongrel?" hissed Gift, and kicked Claude heartily.

Claude closed his eyes and nodded.

Maybe he wanted them to kill him on the spot. Kym Rowe hadn't been the only person to develop a wish to die.

"So I get how you did it ... but why? Why did you want Eric to lose control? What benefit to you?"

"Oh, I know that one!" Dermot said brightly.

I sighed. "Maybe you would explain."

"Claude told me several times that if we could get Niall to return to your side, we could attack him here in the human world, where he wouldn't be surrounded by his supporters," Dermot said. "But I ignored his scheming. I was sure Niall wouldn't return and couldn't return, because he was firm in his resolution to stay in Faery. But Claude argued that Niall loves you so much that if something happened to you, he'd come to your side. So he tried to ruin Eric, thinking that at best you and Eric would fight and Eric would hurt you. Or you'd be arrested for murdering him, and you'd need your great-grandfather. At the very least, you would throw Eric aside and your misery would bring Niall running."

"I was pretty miserable," I said slowly. "And I was even more miserable last night."

"And here I am," said a voice I recognized. "I've come in response to your letter, which opened my eyes to many things."

He was glowing. My great-grandfather hadn't troubled with his human appearance, either. The white-blond hair floated in the air around him. His face was radiant, his eyes like fairy lights on a white tree.

The little cluster of fae in my living room fell to their knees.

He put his arms around me, and I felt his incredible beauty, his terrifying magic, and his crazy devotion.

There was nothing human about him.

He put his mouth right by my ear. "I know you have it," he said.

Suddenly we were standing in my bedroom instead of in the living room. "You gonna take it?" I asked, in the smallest possible voice. Those were fae in the living room. They might hear.

"Don't even show it to me," he said. "It was from my son to his loved one. He intended it for a human. It should stay in human hands."

"But you really, really want it."

"I do, and I have very poor impulse control."

"Okay. No looks." Danger. I was trying to relax, but it's not easy loving and being loved by a powerful prince who has no human frame of reference; furthermore, one whose great age has kind of unhinged him. Just a little bit. From time to time. "What will happen to the fae in my living room?"

"I will take them with me," Niall said. "I have taken care of a lot of things while Claude was with me. I never let him know what I already understood about him. I know what happened to Dermot. I have forgiven Dermot."

Okay, that was good.

"Will you close Faery? For good?"

"Soon," he whispered, his lips again uncomfortably close to my ear. "You have not asked yet who told your lover that you have the ... object."

"That would be a good thing for me to learn."

"You need to know." His arms grew uncomfortably tight around me. I made myself relax against him.

"It was me," Niall said, almost inaudibly.

I jerked back as if he'd pinched my butt. "What?"

The brilliant eyes bored into mine. "You had to know," he said. "You had to know what would happen if he believed you had power."

"Please tell me you didn't engineer the whole Appius thing?" That would be more than I could bear.

"No. Eric is unfortunate in that people feel the need to take him down a peg, including his own maker. The Roman wanted to keep control over so vital a being even after his own death, which became far more likely once he turned the child. So unstable. Appius Livius Ocella made mistakes in his whole long existence. Perhaps changing Eric was his finest hour. He created the perfect vampire. Eric's only flaw is you."

"But ..." I couldn't think of what I'd been about to say.

"Of course, that's not how I perceive it, dearest. You are the one right impulse Eric has had in five hundred years or more. Well, Pam is all right. Even Eric's other living child does not rival her maker."

"Thanks," I said numbly, the words not sinking in at all. "So you knew Appius?"

"We met. He was a stinking Roman asshole."

"True."

"I was glad when he died. Out in your front yard, wasn't it?"

"Ah. Yes."

"The ground around your house has become soaked with blood. It will add to its magic and fertility."

"What happens now?" I said, because I simply couldn't think of what else to say.

He lifted me and carried me out of the bedroom like I was a baby. It didn't feel like the times when Eric had carried me, which had had a definitely carnal edge. This was incredibly tender and (like a lot of things about my great-grandfather) incredibly creepy.

He put me on the couch as carefully as if I were an egg. "This is what happens next," he told me. He turned to the other fae, still on their knees. Claude had stopped thrashing and was looking up at Niall with resignation. For the moment, Niall ignored his grandson.

"Do you all want to go home?" he asked the others.

"Yes, Prince," said Dirk. "Please, with our kindred waiting at Claude's club? If we may? If you will."

Dermot said, "With your blessing, I'll stay here, Father."

For a moment they all looked at Dermot incredulously, as if he'd just announced he was going to birth a kangaroo.

Niall folded Dermot to him. I could see Dermot's face, and it was ecstatic, frightened, everything I had felt in Niall's embrace. Niall said, "You won't be a fairy anymore. The American fae are all leaving. Choose."

The conflict on Dermot's face was painful to see. "Sookie," he said, "who can finish your upstairs work?"

"I'll hire Terry Bellefleur," I said. "He won't be as good as you, Dermot."

"No television," Dermot said. "I'll miss HGTV." Then he smiled. "But I can't live without my essence, and I am your son, Niall."

Niall beamed down at Dermot, which was what Dermot had wanted his whole life.

I got up because I couldn't stand to have him leave without a hug. I even started crying, which I hadn't expected. They all kissed me, even Bellenos, though I felt his teeth scrape lightly on my cheek, and I felt his chest move in a silent chuckle.

Niall made some mysterious signs over my head and closed his eyes, just like a priest giving a blessing. I felt something change in the house, the land.

And then they were gone. Even Claude.

I was stupefied. I was willing to bet that over at Hooligans, the bar stood empty, the doors locked.

The fae were gone from America. Their departure point? Bon Temps, Louisiana. The woods behind my house.

Chapter 16.

As you can imagine, it wasn't easy to go on and have a normal day after that.