"Do you mean to say that you swallow these monsters?"

"We think them fine eating," Mrs. Adams replied.

"My lord," said Mr. Dapper, turning to Upperton, "I'm going to try one. I've made my last will and testament. Tell 'em at Almack's, when you get home, that Dapper committed suicide by attempting to swallow an oyster."

"I will send Pompey for the coroner," exclaimed Mr. Newville, laughing.

"'Pon my soul, madam, they are delicious. Bless me! It is worth crossing the Atlantic to eat one. Try one, my lord, and then you can torment the Macaronies[45] by telling them they don't know anything about fine eating," said Dapper, after gulping it down.

[Footnote 45: The derisive term "Macaronies" was applied to ladies and gentlemen who had visited Italy, and who upon returning to England aped foreign customs in the matter of dress.]

Lord Upperton ate one, smacked his lips, and testified his enjoyment by clearing his plate.

"I dare say, my lord, that you find many amusing things here in the Colonies," remarked Mrs. Adams.

"Indeed I do. Yesterday, as I was smoking my pipe in the tap-room of the Admiral Vernon, a countryman stepped up to me, and said, 'Mister, may I ax for a little pig-tail?' I told him I didn't keep little pigs and hadn't any tails. I presumed he would find plenty of 'em in the market."

Lord Upperton was at a loss to know the meaning of the shout of laughter given by the company.

"The b.u.mpkin replied if I hadn't any pig-tail, a bit of plug would do just as well for a chaw."

Again the laughter.

"I expect I must have made a big bull, but, 'pon my soul, I can't make out where the fun comes in."

"He was asking you first for pig-tail tobacco for his pipe, and then for a bit of plug tobacco for chewing," Mrs. Adams explained.

"Oh ho! then that is it! What a stupid donkey I was," responded Lord Upperton, laughing heartily. "He wasn't at all bashful," he continued, "but was well behaved; asked me where I was from. I told him I was from London. 'Sho! is that so? Haow's King George and his wife?' he asked. I told him they were well. 'When you go hum,' said he, 'jes give 'em the 'spec's of Peter Bushwick, and tell George that Yankee Doodle ain't goin' to pay no tax on tea.'" Lord Upperton laughed heartily. "I rather like Peter Bushwick," he said. "I'd give a two-pound note to have him at Almack's for an evening. He'd set the table in a roar."

"My lord, shall I give you some cranberries?" Miss Newville asked, as she dished the sauce.

"Cranberries! What are they? I am ashamed to let you know how ignorant I am, but really I never heard of 'em before. Do they grow on trees?"

She explained that they were an uncultivated fruit, growing on vines in swamps and lowlands.

"'Pon my soul, they are delicious. And what a rich color. Indeed, you do have things good to eat," he added, smacking his lips.

"I trust you will relish a bit of wild turkey," said Mr. Newville, as he carved the fowl.

"Wild turkey, did you say?"

"Yes, my lord. They are plentiful in the forests."

Again Lord Upperton smacked his lips.

"By Jove, Dapper, it is superb!" he exclaimed.

"Will you try some succotash, my lord?" Ruth inquired.

"There you have me again. What a name!"

"It is an Indian name, my lord," said Mrs. Adams.

"Oh ho! Indian. They told me I should find the people lived like the savages. Succotash! what is it?"

"Succotash, my lord, is a mixture of beans and Indian corn."

"Beans! beans! Do you eat beans over here?" his lordship asked.

"We do, my lord," Mrs. Adams replied, "and we think them very nutritious and palatable, notwithstanding the maxim, '_Abstincto a fabis_.' Possibly you may be a disciple of Pythagoras, and believe that the souls of the dead are encased in beans, and so think it almost sacrilegious for us to use them as food."

Lord Upperton looked up in astonishment. Was it possible that ladies in the Colonies were acquainted with the cla.s.sics?

"In England we feed our sheep on beans," his lordship replied; "and may I ask what is Indian corn?"

"Possibly you may call it maize in England. When our fathers came to this country they found the Indians used it for food, and so ever since it has been known as Indian corn."

"Beans for sheep; corn for savages. Pardon me, madam, but I am not a sheep, nor yet quite a savage with a tomahawk. Thank you, but I don't care for any succotash."

"Better take some, Upperton. It is positively delicious," said Mr.

Dapper, after swallowing a spoonful.

Lord Upperton poked the mixture with his spoon and then tasted it.

"It isn't so very nasty," he said, and took a second spoonful. "By Jove, it isn't bad at all. Bless me, the more I eat the better I like it."

His plate was quickly cleaned.

"Pardon me, Miss Newville, but the succotash is so superb that I dare violate good manners, which I am sure you will overlook, and pa.s.s my plate for more."

"You see, my lord, what you have gained by trying it. If you had not tasted it, you would have gone back to England and told the nabobs that the people in the Colonies eat just such nasty things as the sheep-men feed to their flocks; but now you can torment them by describing the dainty delicacies of the Colonies."

"By Jove! That's a capital idea, Dapper. It will make the Macaronies mad as March hares."

"Please fill your gla.s.ses, ladies and gentlemen, and we will drink the health of our most gracious sovereign,"[46] said Mr. Newville.

[Footnote 46: George III. was grandson of George II., and son of Frederick, Prince of Wales, whose death made his son heir to the throne. The mother of George III. had plans of her own, and was aided by the Earl of Bute. There were political parties in church and state; scheming bishops and intriguing politicians, each striving for his own advancement, or the advancement of his party. George III. during his early years had frequent changes of governors and tutors, several of whom were intense Jacobites, holding reactionary opinions. Being dull of intellect, his education tended to make him a bigot.]

The gla.s.ses were filled, and the health of the king drunk.

"Our king is a right royal sovereign," said Mr. Newville.

"Yes, royal, but stupid now and then," Mr. Dapper responded, to the amazement of the company, and especially Mrs. Newville. "The fact is, my dear madam, our king, unfortunately, has the reputation of being the dullest sovereign in Europe. Perhaps you know there was not much of him to begin with, as he was only a little pinch of a baby when he was born, so puny and weak the nurses said he wouldn't stay here long.

He sat in their laps, and was coddled till six years old, when he was put under that scheming, narrow-minded bigot, Reverend Doctor Ayscough. And what do you suppose the reverend donkey set him to doing? Why, learning hymns, written by another reverend gentleman, Doctor Philip Doddridge. Very good religious hymns, no doubt, but not quite so attractive as Mother Goose would have been to the little fellow. After learning a few hymns and a few words in Latin, he was set to making verses in that language, when he could not read a story book without spelling half the words."

"How preposterous!" exclaimed Miss Milford.

"Somewhat absurd, I will admit," said Mr. Dapper, bowing. "One reverend doctor was not sufficient," he continued, "to look after the education of the prince, and so my Lord Bishop Hayter of Norwich was a.s.sociated with Doctor Ayscough. Then the Old Harry was let loose. My Lord Bishop of Norwich was scheming to be made Archbishop of Canterbury, and Ayscough wanted to become Bishop of Bristol. Both were striving to rival little Jack Horner in putting their thumbs into the pie."