"All of it. I did some shitty stuff. I said even shittier things."

"You did."

"I was wrong. I shouldn't have blamed you. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have shut you out."

"No. You shouldn't have." I gave him no mercy.

"And I never should have..." He looked shame-faced. "I never should have brought up your mom."

My chest ached, the pain I'd felt when I'd first lost her rearing its head. "That was awful of you."

"I'm sorry," he repeated desperately.

"You know how much I was still hurting over what happened with my mom. You know I was only just starting to forgive myself. And you still went there."

"I know," he groaned, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I was a complete asshole. I lashed out."

"Like always."

"It was Lily," Noah blurted.

"What about her?"

"Lily was the one who leaked it," he said. "She said she knew I was going to try to keep her a secret. She said she didn't want to be kept hidden away. She doesn't care if everyone knows she's Noah Hart's little sister. She said she's an adult and she can handle herself."

I nodded, indicating that I'd heard his words. It made sense. Lily wasn't a kid anymore. I couldn't imagine she would enjoy being treated like a glass doll to be put away and cared for, never having a life of her own.

I met Noah's eyes.

"You jumped to conclusions. You blamed me without even listening to me. You didn't believe me when I told you it wasn't me. You thought the worst of me."

"I wish I could take it back."

"You can't."

"I have trust issues. I know I need to work on that."

"It's more than just trust issues, Noah. I can't be with someone who won't admit when he's feeling vulnerable and instead shuts people out."

"I-" he cut himself off, looking pained.

"You wouldn't tell your friends you were having trouble composing. You threw me out of your apartment the morning after telling me about Lily. You sent your own sister halfway across the world."

"I did that to protect her."

"You did that because you felt guilty and vulnerable."

Noah looked down, avoiding my eyes.

"You can't keeping pushing people away," I continued. "Eventually they're not going to come back."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't know if sorry is good enough. What about the next time something makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure? What happens the next time I try to get you to open up?"

"I... don't know. I told you before. It's hard."

"It's hard not being an asshole?"

"I'm trying." He took my hands in his. "Jen, I promise I'm trying."

I looked up to meet his eyes. They were unguarded for once, open and sincere.

"I realized the betrayal wouldn't have hurt so much if I didn't care about you as much as I do." Noah cupped my cheek and brought his lips close to mine, mere inches away. "Please don't give up on me."

I let him kiss me, soft and slow for several long moments before pulling back.

"I'm sorry, Noah." I slipped my hands out of his grip. "I can't keep opening my heart to you, only to have you throw it back in my face."

I opened the door to the club and stepped through. Loud music assaulted my ears. I looked back one last time. Noah's face was lined with pain. I gave him a sad smile.

"I hope our song does well."

I shut the door behind me.

Chapter Thirty.

"Where'd you disappear to?" Natalie asked as I sidled up next to her. She and Ivy had scored an empty corner table to take a break from the dancing. "Last I saw you were dry humping that sexy blond guy over there."

"Noah was here."

Nat let out a happy little gasp.

"Why do you look so thrilled?" I asked. "Weren't you the one who wanted to gut him with a butter knife for hurting me?"

"That was before he showed up to make a grand romantic gesture." She stared at me intently. "He did make a grand romantic gesture, didn't he?"

"He dragged me out to the alley."

"For sex?"

"No! To apologize."

"Did he get down on his knees and grovel for forgiveness?"

"I wouldn't call it groveling. He seemed sincere, though."

"Are you going to take him back?" Ivy asked.

"How can I? I'll accept his apology, but all the issues that make him keep pushing me away are still there. I'm tired of banging my head up against a brick wall."

A flurry of squeals and shouts interrupted me before I could continue.

"Oh my god it's Noah Fucking Hart!" shrieked one girl at the table next to us.

"Great," I muttered. "He just had to make a scene on his way out."

"I don't think he's on his way out," Nat said with a nudge and a grin.

I turned to find Noah speaking with the DJ situated on a small stage in the corner of the dance floor. Money changed hands and the DJ gestured to a microphone stand before going to set up a large keyboard at the front of the stage.

Noah stared out at the crowd, microphone in hand. He looked oddly uncomfortable, considering he was the front man for one of the biggest rock groups around and had played to audiences hundreds of times bigger than this one.

He positioned himself in front of the keyboard and arranged the mic stand. My heart began beating wildly. What the hell was he up to?

Noah began speaking, the microphone amplifying his voice throughout the club.

"Hey. I'm Noah Hart, as I'm sure you all know."

I couldn't help but snort at his ego. But then again, from the squeals and cheers in the crowd, he was probably right.

"The song I'm going to play has never been performed in public before. It's a rough draft." His eyes scanned the room. "But I want to dedicate it to someone." He took a deep breath. "She helped me compose the song. I was having a hell of time trying to write it. I didn't want to ask for help. I didn't want to rely on anyone. I wanted to do it myself."

Natalie tugged at my sleeve. "He's doing his grand gesture!" she hissed.

I batted her hand away and shushed her. I didn't want to miss one second of Noah's announcement.

"She's the one who made me realize that it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to show your vulnerabilities. It's okay to open up to people. She made me want to trust again."

My heart melted in my chest as I was filled with a warm, pleasant glow. Noah looked out at the crowd, scanning the room until he found me. My pulse jumped erratically as our eyes met.

He placed his fingers over the keys. "This song is for the woman I love. This song is for Jen."

My heart thumped madly in my ribcage, a pleasant ache searing through me. I'd been longing to hear those words. I would have given anything to hear those words.

Noah began to play our song. Even though I'd heard versions of it a million times as we worked and re-worked it, Noah had never played it like this before.

Truths I cannot say Reflected in your eyes It sounded nothing like the terrible mess he'd played in front of the band. This song was moving. Heartfelt.

Like wide open gates So pure and divine The song took the audience through a bevy of emotions, wringing both sorrow and joy from the hearts of every listener.

You took me apart Stone by stone And with tears streaming down my cheeks, I was no different.

I have no more defenses The king's been dethroned When the song ended, the crowd was silent for a few stunned moments before they began applauding in awe. Noah didn't stick around to bask in their adoration. He jumped off the stage and strode over to me, moving purposefully but with an edge, like a wild animal finally let loose.

I ran towards him. The club patrons hastened to move out of my way. When I was within feet of him I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his hips. Noah caught me, holding me up with his hands under my thighs.

As I clung to him with one arm, I wiped tears from my eyes with the back of my other hand. Noah brushed a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb.

"I know I fucked up," he said. "But I'm hoping you'll give me another chance. I love you."

"Let's not do this here," I whispered.

He looked around and saw the gaping group staring at us, murmuring and whispering to each other. "You're right."

He carried me out the club's side doors back into the alleyway where we could have privacy before setting me down. I kept my arms wrapped around his neck, our fronts pressed together.

"That was a great performance," I said, trying not to sniffle.

"It didn't sound like trash?" He cracked a small smile.

I choked out a laugh. "No. It was absolutely not trash."

"Good. Because it would have sucked to sound shitty in front of all those people."

"You messed up so you decided that a public confession was the way to right your wrongs?"

"Yes," he said simply. "Because I love you."

I waited before answering, staring into his eyes. They were intense, burning into me. He looked like the only thing in the world he cared about were my next words.

"I love you, too."

His whole face softened, expression lit up with wonder.

"So you forgive me? You'll give me another chance?"

I rested my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent, spice and leather. "I forgive you."

He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes in relief for a brief moment. "I will never lash out like that and hurt you again. I promise."

I planted a soft kiss on his lips. I went to pull back, but he tugged me closer, deepening the kiss. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue licked at the seam of my lips, seeking entrance. I gave it to him, our tongues sliding together with a warm, wet heat.

I could feel his length begin to harden against my hip. A shiver ran through me as heat pooled between my legs.

"I said I don't do break up sex," I murmured into his mouth, "but I didn't say anything about make-up sex."

He looked confused for a moment before a carnal grin cross his face. "Are you reconsidering your stance on alley sex?"

I peeked up through my lashes, giving him a coy smile. "Just this once."