I choked out a laugh. "Thanks, Nat."

"But something did happen, right?" she pressed.

"Noah has trust issues," I explained. "I just need to give him time."

I hoped giving him some space would allow him to see the mistake he'd made.

I spent some time reading up on Darkest Days gossip, especially gossip pertaining to Lily. I wanted to know if there were any disgusting trash sites putting a price on pictures of her. I couldn't find anything in my searches, but who knew what kind of gross stuff happened behind paywalls and on secret forums.

Even on normal sites, though, most of the comments were gross. Lily was only nineteen. It made me sick to think of the media and fans objectifying her like that. In my head she was just Noah's baby sister.

Somehow they'd found her social media accounts and were tracking her every move. Like Noah had said, she was traveling around Europe. From the photos she shared, it looked like sometimes she was alone and sometimes she was with friends.

Even if I hadn't known they were related, the resemblance would have made me wonder. Lily's dark hair and eyes were the exact same as Noah's. Their faces shared similar contours, although her cheeks had more of a cute cherub shape whereas Noah's was more angular with sharper cheekbones.

She was cute, there was no denying that. Noah would have to beat the guys off with sticks. I had no doubt he would act even more like the overprotective big brother type if and when she came home.

Perhaps, with all this attention, Noah would forbid it. He might force her to stay in London. I felt bad for Lily. It must have been hard to be sent away from everything she knew. It made sense that she would want to come back, if only to be with her brother again. Now that she was an adult, she could make her own decisions. Of course, I was sure Noah wouldn't see it like that.

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered. Sending your little sister out of the country was a drastic move. Of course, Noah was a dramatic person, as much he would have liked to think otherwise. It couldn't have just been that he was afraid for her safety. Surely he could keep a better eye on her if she were closer. God knew what kind of things a teenaged girl could get up to living abroad, far away from home and without any adult supervision.

His mother had left him. He was glad she was gone. He felt guilty he was glad. He'd been through hell in foster care, never able to show weakness. He'd done everything he could to protect his little sister. Noah and Lily against the world.

He also believed he'd failed her.

I knew that when Noah felt vulnerable, he tended to lash out and make bad decisions. Could this have been one of them? Had sending Lily away been less about her safety and more about Noah's own personal issues?

He was such a complicated person. Of course, I'd always assumed that to be true. Listening to his lyrics as a teenager, I'd always felt that Noah Hart was full of contradictions. He could write such lovely words of adoration and devotion, just as easily as he could write words of fury and wrath. His songs, the meanings behind his lyrics, were never one-dimensional. That's why I felt he understood me.

I loved my mother.

I hated my mother.

I felt guilty over her suicide, felt like it was my fault.

I felt relieved I no longer had to take care of her.

I was sad she was gone.

I was happy she had finally found an end to her suffering.

So many conflicting emotions inside of me. So many feelings for a teenager to deal with. It was no wonder Darkest Days was my favorite band. The contradictions I felt inside were reflected in the lyrics of Noah Hart. Noah's words spoke to me. There was something inside of him that mirrored my own experiences. Love. Hate. Guilt. Relief. Noah understood me. And I understood him.

It wasn't just a fangirl infatuation.

I was in love with Noah Hart.

And I just knew that, underneath all that pain and distrust, Noah loved me back.

I just needed to get him to open up and trust me again.

After I'd made a decision to confront Noah, the only thing I had to decide was when and how. I didn't want to show up at his door and pound on it until he opened it. The Noah Hart I'd gotten to know would probably leave me out there for hours, until I got fed up and left.

When Naomi asked me to come back to the Etude Entertainment offices to talk about another potential contract, I knew I had to take the chance. I tried to subtly ask if Noah was going to be around.

"Maybe," Naomi said doubtfully. "He's been in a pissy mood lately."

"Would you mind asking him to come in, without telling him it's me who's asking?"

"Had another falling out?"

I cringed. Did Naomi know everything?

"I just need to talk with him and clarify a few things."

"I'll see what I can do."

When I arrived at the offices Naomi told me he was in the piano room. She'd asked him to play the song for her again. When I walked in instead of Naomi, Noah shot off the piano bench. His usual scowl immediately transformed, his face going expressionless.

"What are you doing here?" he said flatly, echoing the very first words he'd ever said to me.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"We have nothing to talk about."

"Yes we do. You know we do."

Noah's eyebrow twitched. I could tell he was upset, but didn't want to show it. He probably wanted to pretend like nothing had happened, just like he always did.

"You can't shut me out every time you get angry about something."

"I'm not angry," he said flatly.

"You stormed out on me. You've been ignoring my texts and calls. Giving someone the silent treatment is a really awful thing to do."

"It's not the silent treatment. I just have nothing to say to you."

I crossed my arms, exasperated. "I didn't tell anyone about Lily."

He snorted. "Sure."

"I don't understand why you won't believe me. I care about you. I would never hurt you like that. I would never betray you."

Noah grunted and turned around, facing the piano. "I don't care to hear your excuses anymore. We're done. Get out."

I fumed for a few moments before bursting out. "How can you walk away from everything?"

"There's nothing to walk away from. The song is finished. This business relationship is over."

"We're over? Just like that?"

Noah stayed silent, not looking at me.

Tears threatened to sting the back of my eyes. "Did it all really mean so little to you?"

"You're a fangirl with a crush. Of course it meant nothing to me." He finally looked at me. His eyes were pained for a moment, before his face shuttered close. "Did it really mean so much to you?" he snarked.

I swallowed hard, blinking back the tears. "So what if it did?"

"Then you're a foolish little fangirl. It was sex. That's all."

The words hit me like a blow. Pain radiated from my chest outward.

"I know you're just saying that because you're hurt," I bit out. "You're lashing out like always."

But the fact that he automatically thought the worst of me, that he wouldn't even listen to me, made it worse.

Noah snatched the music sheets off the piano, clenching them in his fists as he stalked towards the door. "I don't need to stand here listening to this."

"You're going to regret throwing this all away," I told him as he passed me.

He looked back for only a brief moment, blank face held not a hint of emotion.

"The only thing I regret is trusting you."

Chapter Twenty-Eight.

For the next week I sat in my apartment moping.

I'd barely spent any time here since I first started working with Noah. We were always at his place working or having sex. For a while I only came here to sleep. Then even that changed when I started spending the night.

Natalie and Ivy were technically my roommates - they still paid rent - but they'd essentially moved in with their boyfriends and were never around. I had the entire three bedroom apartment to myself. It felt cold and lonely.

I spent most of my time thinking about what had happened with Noah. Wondering if I could have done something or said something different. But what happened had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Noah's insecurities. With his inability to open up to people. His inability to trust.

I was torn between sadness and anger. I knew Noah had his issues. Maybe I should have been more understanding. But he'd turned his back on me three times already. Once he'd thrown me out and twice he'd walked away.

When Naomi called me, I was immediately worried the new job we had been talking about had fallen through. Maybe Noah had been badmouthing me. I wouldn't have put it past him, the cranky asshole.

Instead, Naomi had a completely different reason for calling.

"Noah has been a complete basket case for the last week," she told me. "Nothing we've been saying to him works."

"What do you mean by basket case?" I asked carefully.

"He's more than his usual pissy self. He won't talk to anyone. Do you know anything about why?"

"I know he's worried about Lily..." I hedged.

"It's not just that. He's supposed to be working on arranging his song, but everything he plays is awful. He storms off whenever anyone talks to him about it. You worked with him. Do you have any ideas?"

Noah and I had been able to write that song because he'd opened up to me. Maybe he was having trouble capturing those emotions with his current mood.

"Would you mind coming in and talking to him?"

"I don't think he'll listen to me."

"It can't hurt. He's certainly not listening to anyone else."

"I'll try."

I walked into the piano room the next day with dread. To my surprise, the rest of the band members were there along with Naomi. August's mouth was twisted in a frown. One of the twins fidgeted with the thick buckles on his leather wrist cuff, looking worried. Noah wasn't there.

"Is this an intervention?" I asked.

"Of a sort," August said. "Noah's been giving us some trouble. We hoped you'd be able to get through to him."

"I don't know how much help I'll be. Noah's pretty angry at me."

"He's angry at everyone these days," said the twin who'd been fidgeting. He didn't sound sarcastic or flippant. He sounded like he was genuinely concerned. For all that they messed with each other, his bandmates did honestly care about their lead singer.

When Noah walked in, he made it two steps before stopping in his tracks.

"Why the fuck is she here?" he said, voice devoid of emotion.

"You worked with Jennifer, didn't you?" August said calmly. "She's one of our production consultants, isn't she?"

Noah grunted and crossed his arms.

"We need you to play the song again," Naomi said. "This time all of us want to hear it."

"Why?" Noah shot back.

"We just want to make sure everything's going smoothly with the songwriting process," August said. "Do us a favor and play."

Noah grumbled but took a seat at the piano. He threw me an unreadable look as he passed.

He paused with his fingers hovering over the keys. He looked hesitant and uncomfortable. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and began to play.

I tried not to wince, but it was hard. This song sounded nothing like what we had composed. The notes were all the same, but he played them in an odd, discordant way. His hands didn't move smoothly over the keys. There were odd pauses in places where there shouldn't have been, and he rushed in places that should have been slower and more thoughtful.