"You solved a problem. When the problem was overcome you left it in the past," Nathan said.

"I didn't kill people to get in my house," she snapped.

"You didn't kill those people, they killed themselves. The ones you shot knew we would fight and kill them. I had just dropped half a dozen, they knew we would kill but they still attacked. They didn't need weapons with that many bodies," Nathan told her.

"It just hurts," Jasmine mumbled.

"It's good you value life like that, but it also means you don't value yours or ours in the same regard. Think about what would've happen to the kids if you hadn't acted. Would it still hurt? Listening to them scream in pain and hunger?" Nathan asked.

The color drained from Jasmine's face hearing Nathan's words. "No."

"They say it's good to have that hurt but the hurt will make you hesitate next time. It happened to my partner. We were in a shootout with a group that had a rolling meth lab. I shot two and he shot one. It ate at him and he pulled over a biker a year later. The biker went for a gun. Greg got his out first but yelled for the man to freeze until the man had his gun out. The biker shot Greg three times before Greg got off the first shot. Two of the shots. .h.i.t Greg in the vest and the third hit him in the neck. It was all captured on his dash cam. We got to hear him die, telling his wife and kids he was sorry for not shooting sooner," Nathan said. "He always felt guilty about killing that man and it cost him his life."

Nathan looked around at the group and could see understanding dawn on the group. Jasmine stood. "I'll try, I promise. I can also promise you, I won't hesitate to do it again," she vowed.

"Then you will be fine," Nathan said, pulling her into a hug and letting her go. Sitting back down, Indian style he pulled Emma onto his lap and started feeding her.

John let out a cough. "Nathan, what mistakes did we make?" he asked shyly.

"Well we' didn't make mistakes. I should've watched the area longer or looked for another crossing," Nathan told him.

Amanda jumped. "p.i.s.s on that, douchebag!" she screamed, making Nathan drop the bag of eggs. "I remember we wanted to leave, not you!" she bellowed at him, pointing her finger at him. Putting her hands on her hips, well hip bones, she continued, "You told me we can't prepare for everything, sometimes we just have to do it. We didn't see lookouts awake, we didn't see guns, we didn't see a big threat. Now say you made that mistake and I'll bite your dog!"

Amazed that such a loud voice could come from such a small person, Nathan just stared in shock at Amanda, wondering who she was and where she came from. "I was just saying-,"

"Ares, come!" she yelled. They heard scratching on the tent door.

Nathan looked at the door. "Ares sit," he commanded. "He will bite you back," Nathan warned Amanda.

"I don't care," Amanda said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Holding up his hands in surrender, "Okay, it wasn't a mistake it was a learning experience. Next time we'll know better."

Amanda spun at Jasmine. "He's right, when people come at us they're bad. Pull the trigger and make them go away. I swear if you get hurt because you feel bad,'" Amanda quoted with her hands, "I'll punch you in the face." In complete shock and total bewilderment, Jasmine just nodded at Amanda.

Amanda spun around to Nathan. "Now what mistakes did we make?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

In reality, Nathan wanted to tell her none but knew that would just p.i.s.s Amanda off more. Normally that wouldn't bother him, but she was a p.i.s.sed off teen girl with a Glock strapped to her thigh. He really didn't want to push it. "We used too much ammo to clear a path," Nathan pulled out of his a.s.s.

"What about the magazines I lost?" Amanda snapped.

That made Nathan chuckle, "The only reason I didn't lose mine was they dropped in Emma's sling," Nathan said. "That's something we have spares for. But you bring up a valid point. We need to have bags on our saddle we can drop empty magazines in," Nathan offered.

This seemed to satisfy Amanda and she sat down. John looked over at Nathan hoping Amanda was done. "How much ammo did we use? I only use one and a half magazines," John said.

"About six hundred rounds," Nathan told him picking up the pouch of food and started feeding Emma again.

"Six hundred rounds!" John, Tom, Natalie, and Jasmine shouted together.

"A little more or a little less, but that's a close estimate from what you wrote," Nathan told them.

"We were only shooting for a few seconds," John pointed out.

"From the time of first shot till we cleared the bridge was two and a half minutes, more or less," Nathan said.

"Who shot the most, you?" Jasmine asked.

"No, I only used two mags and half of one in my pistol," Nathan said.

"I used five and one for my pistol," Jasmine said, holding out her chin in defiance.

Amanda stood beside her. "I used six and I rocked my gat as hard as I could," she said proudly. Nathan tried hard not to smile as little Amanda tried to talk gangster.

"How many did you shoot?" Jasmine asked, and they both just shrugged their shoulders.

"A lot," Tom said.

As Nathan flew' the spoon full of eggs at Emma he said, "It doesn't matter, we're alive. Jasmine and I will take first watch. Girls you have the middle, and Tom and John the end. Get some sleep."

Everyone found a spot to lay down as Nathan and Jasmine got ready with the rain pounding out side. Nathan looked down to see Emma was sound asleep. He wrapped a blanket around her and stepped outside. The tent had a covered entry and they stood in it, watching the rain pour down.

"We need to check the horses and take the feed bags off," Nathan said. Jasmine followed him and helped tend the horses. As the rain slackened they led the horses out to the field to let them graze. They moved back to the trees and watched the horses.

"How many do you think we killed?" Jasmine asked.

"No idea." Nathan said. "We probably shot over a hundred but no more than two hundred."

"Two hundred," Jasmine moaned.

"You know what happened to Casey?" Nathan asked.

"Nothing, I checked her over," Jasmine said.

"No, I meant how she almost fell off her horse."

"My horse jumped some people lying on the ground and I almost fell off," Jasmine said.

"A man grabbed her and pulled her off," Nathan said and Jasmine gasped. "She pulled her pistol and emptied her magazine in his face. The only reason she stayed with her horse was the sling of her M-4 was wrapped around the saddle horn and her foot was caught in the stirrup. Otherwise she would be dead and so would I. I would've gone back," Nathan said.

"And I didn't want her to have a pistol," Jasmine moaned, falling to her knees in the mud. "I almost killed her," she sobbed.

Nathan pulled her up. "No, you voiced you opinion. It made me think about it harder and I could tell she treated the pistol with respect. I'm counting on you to help me get these kids through this. Remember what Tom, Natalie, and Casey saw done to their mother. Think about Amanda watching her whole family get killed and her mother get raped and John finding his mother dead. They can't feel sorry for defending themselves. More importantly, they can't see us feeling sorry for defending them. What do you think that conveys to them, if adults feel sorry for killing someone who wanted to hurt them?"

"I-," Jasmine stuttered, and tears started pouring out of her eyes, mixing with the rain. "I never thought about it." She stopped. "I don't want anything to happen to them. I would die for them."

"I want you to make others die if they want to hurt them," Nathan said, pulling her in tight for a hug.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Nothing to be sorry for, you're learning the rules in a new world," Nathan told her.

"Aren't you learning the rules too?" she asked, meeting his eyes.

"No, the rules were the same in the old world, just buried beneath the false security people believed in," Nathan said. Jasmine didn't understand. "Protect and provide for what's yours. Count on no help but your own. The lives of those who want to take from you hold no value. Live each day like it's your last and if you have a dream see it through," Nathan said letting her go.

Nathan looked back out across the field. "Go get some sleep. I'll wake Amanda and Casey for the next shift. You and Natalie can take the one after." Jasmine saw the hardness of his face and nodded. He had opened her eyes on how to survive and more importantly to live.

Chapter 21.

Day 28 After Jasmine left, Nathan stared out over the field until he felt and thump on his leg. Not even looking down he petted Ares. "You did good today," Nathan said, then kneeled down in the mud, hugging Ares. "I smell like a wet dog now," Nathan said. Ares panted at him with his tongue hanging out.

They stood guard till noon and the rain lightened up to a steady soaking rain. It was better than the deluge earlier but it still made being outside a miserable experience. Nathan guided the hobbled horses to the tie line beside the camp. Hearing loud snorts, Nathan turned around to see Ares and one of the donkeys touching noses.

"Donkey, you hurt my dog and we eat you tonight," Nathan warned, but the two just studied the smells of each other. When they were satisfied they both turned away. "You better not p.i.s.s them off," Nathan warned Ares, stepping under the covered area of the tent. Ares shook the water off his body, nearly drowning Nathan.

"You better be happy you did that here," Nathan said, wiping the water off his face. Stepping inside, Nathan found everyone awake and cleaning weapons. "What the h.e.l.l? Why aren't you guys asleep?" he demanded.

"We couldn't sleep so we became productive," Casey said, smiling holding her rifle barrel up with the other pieces around her.

"I stood a long watch so you could get some rest," Nathan whined.

"Sorry, but we couldn't sleep," Casey said, putting her rifle back together.

John put down his rifle he was cleaning. "Nathan, it hasn't even been a month. Why were those people so starved-looking?"

Nathan took off his wet gear. "A supermarket only has three days' worth of food on its shelves, and most people only have three days' worth of food at home. It's been said the average person is six days from starvation and they're right."

"But they shouldn't look that skinny yet, should they?" John asked.

"It takes a long time for someone to starve. Eating only one meal a week can keep you alive for months. Granted, you can't do much. I follow the rules of three: three minutes without air, three days without water and three weeks without food causes death," Nathan said.

John nodded. "Okay but when those people ran at us I thought they were zombies."

"That's not even funny," Jasmine snapped. "I almost dropped my rifle thinking that."

"Zombies aren't real. What we faced was. Remember, there are real things out there to be scared of. Don't be afraid of zombies," Nathan said.

Amanda scoffed, "I don't care what comes after us, it's taking a dirt nap."

"Where are you learning all these new sayings?" John asked, smiling.

"Nathan has a bunch of books on his tablet," Amanda said.

Smiling, Nathan looked down at his woobie and didn't see Emma. Quickly scanning the tent, he spotted her in Jasmine's lap, watching Jasmine put her pistol together. "Jasmine, your turn," Nathan said, feeling like they didn't like his sacrifice and gift of staying up for a long guard shift.

"Natalie, let's go," Jasmine said, moving Emma, who ran to Nathan. Nathan had to hold her at bay as he stripped off wet clothes. When he was done, Emma dove on his chest. Unlike the others, Nathan had no trouble going to sleep.

Nathan felt something tap his foot and opened his eyes to see John. "Nathan, it's five," John said. Nodding, Nathan tried to sit up and felt a sleeping Emma on him. Sliding her off, Nathan was a little grossed out to see a puddle of drool on his chest. Reaching to grab his clothes, Nathan wasn't shocked to find them still very damp.

Girting his teeth as he put them on, Nathan looked around to see only he and Emma were the only ones in the tent. "Where is everyone?" Nathan asked putting on dry socks, some things he had to draw the line at and wet socks were one.

"Outside packing up," John said.

"Did any of you sleep?" Nathan asked, worried.

"Everyone got a few hours," John admitted.

Putting on the rest of his gear, Nathan shook his head. "This is not the weather you want to be tired in."

John shrugged. "Sorry. We smell smoke outside."

That stopped Nathan making him look up. "Which direction?" Nathan asked.

"From the east," John said gravely. "It's still raining, as you can hear. You said rain would suppress the smell of smoke."

Nathan grabbed his rifle. "Come on," he said, walking out.

John pa.s.sed by him. "You can smell it good out in the field."

Nathan followed. He saw Ares standing at the edge of the field and grabbed John's arm to stop him. Turning on his thermal, Nathan eased up to a tree then crept from tree to tree till he was near the edge of the field. Nathan gave a low whistle for Ares to come.

Looking through the scope Nathan couldn't see any hot makings of people but did see several deer. Then he caught the smell of smoke. It wasn't overpowering, but it wasn't weak, either. "s.h.i.t, that's too close," Nathan said standing up heading back to camp.

"John, get the tent down. We will wait till dark to leave," Nathan said, turning the scope off.

"That's close, isn't it?" John asked.

"Less than a mile," Nathan said. The others, seeing Nathan coming, back ran over. "Get everything ready in case we have to leave fast but we don't move till dark," Nathan told them.

"You think it's some of the ones from the Interstate?" Jasmine asked.

Nathan shook his head. "There is no way, we're nineteen miles away. With the shape those people were in they couldn't run that far."

"What if they had bicycles?" Amanda asked.

The concern was approaching anxiety. "That is possible. But it's probably someone else just trying to stay dry," Nathan offered.

"You lie for s.h.i.t," Casey snapped.

Nathan glared at Amanda. "What?" Amanda asked. "It's freedom of speech, she can say what she wants. I read the const.i.tution and bill of rights on your tablet," Amanda popped off.

"Stop teaching her words," Nathan warned Casey. "It is possible that it's not anyone from the interstate and much more probable," Nathan said. His answer made him feel better.