"No. I didn't. Your dad did. And he was so mad he couldn't even come in here to talk to you, Ara. He called me." He pointed to his chest. "How could you just run off like that? Not tell anyone where you were going. Jesus, girl." The fabric on the stool dipped as he sat beside me, shaking his head.

"I don't need your permission to go for a run."

"That's what you were doing?"

"Yes. Is that okay with you?"

"Ara, stop being a child. You know damn well you should've told someone where you were. Don't try to make me out to be the bad guy. I've been driving all over town looking for you. We had no idea what time you left or how long you'd been gone." He looked at his watch. "It's twelve-thirty, for God's sake, girl."

I looked down at my lap, running my thumb over my locket. "Stop yelling at me."

"No. I'm mad. I was so worried about you I nearly shook Emily when I asked her if she'd seen you."

"What! You talked to my friends?" I smacked the stool with both hands. "Mike, how could you-now you've gone and made a huge drama out of thi-"

"No. Ara. You made the drama. You took off without leaving a note to say you hadn't gone to school. You've been gone all bloody day!"

"Yeah, well, no one asked you to come looking for me." I folded my arms. "I'm fine. I just lost track of time."

"Well, that may be the case, but you've caused a lot of worry. People care about you, Ara-" He reached for me; I jerked away. "I care about you."

"You? You don't care about me. You just feel sorry for me. You just feel responsible for me, like you always have-"

"Ara? Don't say things like that."

"I didn't say it!" I shot up off the stool and fled to the heavy curtains near the wall. "You did!"

"What? When?" He sat taller. "Ara, I would never say something like tha-"

"You did. The day I arrived here, when my dad made me speak to you on the phone. You said you were tired of being responsible for me, that I had to grow up, and if I wasn't such a baby then none of this would've happened!"

Mike stood up, reaching for me. "Ara, that was not what I said and you know it. You're adding words to what I-"

"Am I? Or is that what you wanted to say? Is that what you really meant, only you didn't have the guts to say it?" I yelled across the stage, feeling rather well-placed for such a theatrical display of emotion.

"My exact words to you that day, and my exact meaning were, I feel responsible for what happened to your mum and Harry. And you said it was your fault, that if you hadn't run away it wouldn't've happened. That's when I said that running away was a childish thing to do. And that was all I said, Ara. The fact is, I was responsible for you. I let you down. I did not say you caused this. I never said, felt, or meant that. You know that."

"No. I don't. I know the way you looked at me. I saw you look away when you first saw me after the accident; I remember how disgusted you were in me that night for daring to feel what I felt for you-"

"That's what you think?" He briskly stepped forward and grabbed my arms. "That I was disgusted? In you? Ara, I was disgusted in myself for-"

"For telling me how you truly felt?" I shrugged out of his hands. "You shouldn't be. Because that should be allowed. If you don't love someone, you have a right to tell them."

"But I do love you. You know that." He swooped into me again.

"Don't touch me!" I ducked out from under his arms and ran to the edge of the stage. "I don't want you to touch me."

"Ara. Please-"

I took a glance over my shoulder to see his bulky silhouette by the piano, reaching out to me, then jumped off the edge, bent my knees as I landed on the ground, and walked away with my arms folded.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Home."

At a run, Mike's footfalls fell down on the hollow-sounding floor, then stopped as a soft tap of shoes on carpet came up behind me. "Baby, talk to me. Please don't be like this. I just want you to be happy."

"Happy!" I spun around. "If you wanted me to be happy, then you'd never have told me you love me, Mike. Now I'm just confused and empty."

Mike doubled back, dropping his hand to his side as the blade of my words hit his heart. "You don't mean that," he whispered.

"What would you know? You don't know anything about me, Mike. Maybe you used to-in fact, no-scratch that. If you did, you'd never have rejected me like that."

"Ara, I didn't reject you. I just asked you to wait a second while I processed what was happening between us. You shook me up, girl. I wasn't expecting you to throw your arms around my neck and kiss me."

"Yeah, well-" I looked up at him, keeping my arms folded, "-it was a mistake. You and I. All of it. Nothing but a big, fat mistake. Now, it's time I fix things-put them all back in the right place."

"What are you saying?" He grabbed my wrist; I yanked it back.

"I'm saying, I. Love. David, Mike. Not you." The lie came out through my lips like a hot breath; I couldn't even gasp the words back in-they just fell out.

When Mike dropped his head, even the shadowed darkness did nothing to hide his pain. "So that's it then?" His voice quaked. "You're just going to throw it all away because of some boy you just met?"

"He's not just some boy, Mike. He's my one true love."

Mike nodded, clenching his fists beside him. "You're not a child anymore, Ara. It's time you grew up. All this true love and fairy-tale bullshit!" His angered voice touched my nerves. "It's not real. He is not your true love. He's a random stepping stone, a fall back guy-a-a bloody infatuation."

"Don't say that word!" I screamed at him, clenching my fists. "I never want to hear that word. You don't know. None of you know. You don't have a clue what I feel-what I've gone through."

"Tell me then, Ara-" He stepped closer. "Tell me, so I understand."

I looked at him for a moment longer, swiping my shaking hand across my nose before I sunk to the ground, curling into a ball. "I can't do it. I can't do it anymore, Mike."

He fell to his knees and wrapped me up in his arms. "What, baby?"

"I'm so tired. I'm so goddamn tired. I just can't do it anymore." It was all too much. I missed David like I needed air, like I couldn't breathe anymore. Mike made it all feel better, made the air thinner, easier to take, but I couldn't fix it. I couldn't fix how hurt I was that he pushed me away in the first place. I just couldn't fix it.

"Ara. Baby, talk to me. Why are you shaking?"

"It's all gone." I closed my eyes tight. "It's all-all of it. I don't wanna do this anymore, Mike. I don't wanna do this anymore."

Mike took a deep breath, letting it out with a loud groan. "Look-I hurt you. I'm sorry for that, okay? But you don't love him. Not like you love me."

"No-you're right. I don't. I love him more."

"Ara," Mike said softly, "I'm not giving up yet. I know you better than you know yourself."

"Then tell me what to do," I sobbed, pressing my fists into my eyes. "Just tell me what to do."

"Come home with me. Let me love you."

"It won't make it okay. It'll never be okay."

"I know. Ara, we can't take back what happened. We can only try to move forward. But if you let me, I'll take care of you. I'll hold you until all the hurt just hurts less. Please-let me do that."

I took a deep, jagged breath. "I can't. I can't, because when I do-when I decide to, I die inside."

"Why, Ara? Why do you feel that way? I-I don't understand."

"You can't, Mike. You can't, because you don't understand love."

"Love?"

I nodded.

He drew back a little. "This isn't just about losing your mum and Harry, is it?"

I shook my head.

"So...it's about David?"

I nodded.

"You're serious? All this is about David?" He motioned to my ruined self on the floor of the school auditorium.

I nodded again, my chest quivering, my snotty nose snivelling.

"Ara, I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm gonna say it anyway, okay?" He touched my shoulder.

"Please don't."

"I have to, baby. You-you're not okay. You need a hand to guide you right now, and I-I know you better than anyone. This isn't normal-the way you feel. This is grossly magnified by grief. This love you feel for David-it isn't real."

I looked up at him quickly. "You're wrong, Mike." The beast inside me grew-rising up from the ashes of disaster as I clambered to my feet. "It's you I don't feel for."

He stood too. "Ara, that's not true and you know it."

"It is true," I screamed. "I stopped feeling for you the day my family died. And I don't care if that hurts you, because you need to know."

"Ara-" He edged closer. "Don't. Please don't."

"I'm sorry, but...I want you to go home, Mike. We're never gonna be what we were. It's all just too broken now. I just can't forgive you for pushing me away." Then, hurriedly, before guilt could set in, I turned and headed for the door. But the light barely even touched my face before I realised what that would have done to him. I couldn't see him, but I could feel the cold in the room from the detachment of his soul.

The thing was, if he couldn't understand what I felt for David, then he couldn't understand how to love me. We'd never be right for each other.

Holding my head high, with pride moving my feet, I kept walking, even though I knew, deep down inside, beneath the ogre, beneath the pain I always felt, I loved him, and I wanted him to take me home.

"Say it again!" Mike ordered, grabbing my wrist, whirling me into the cage of his arms. "Say it like you mean it and I'll go. But you don't, Ara." He studied me carefully, his eyes darting over every inch of my face. "You don't mean it. Say it!" He shook me.

My lip quivered and a cold tear rolled over my cheek. It was suddenly very clear that he wasn't as sure I loved him as he said he was. He believed me when I said I didn't care for him-just as I'd wanted him to.

"That's it, is it? Nothing? You have nothing to say to me?" His voice cracked above the controlled hysterics. "After all these years, after...after all the..." He let go of my arms, backing away as his hand covered his mouth. "Oh, God. I did this. I did this."

Even though my face crumpled with the saturation of regret, I refused to let myself hide in my hands. He needed to see I was hurting, too. He needed to know how I felt. If I couldn't tell him now, I'd lose him forever. But I couldn't speak. My chest felt so tight the words wouldn't come. If only he was like David, I could say in my mind, I'm so sorry, Mike. I love you. I love you! And I want you to know that. I just...I'll always love David, though. Always.

Above the silence, a mighty growl suddenly broke through.

Mike looked up at me, his eyes then falling to my belly as the ogre made a last demand for nourishment.

"When did you last eat?" He looked back at my face, and in the pale light from outside, I noticed the hint of a smile around the corners of his eyes.

"Last night."

A loud huff of air burst out through his wide grin. "I shoulda known." His arms flew up and wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest with a jolt. "I shoulda known you could never say things like that."

As my breath struggled through his strangle hold and into my lungs, I tried to push away from him, to protest against his sudden change in direction. But he squeezed me tighter and shook his head.

"No way, baby girl. I am not letting you go."

So, with a sigh, my shoulders dropped and I gave in, let him hold me-let his warm, strong embrace make me feel safe and loved again. The way he always made me feel.

"Just say it though, please?" He held my shoulders, looking down into my face. "Just so my heart will believe my ears. Please just tell me you didn't mean any of it?"

"You know I didn't, Mike," I said very softly.

His chest shuddered. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you, baby." He gathered me up; I folded into him willingly, letting him make an apology for something he need not apologise for. "I was just so worried. If I'd lost you-if you were gone, I...I just don't know what I would've done."

Even though I knew he was referring to the fact that I ran away this morning, a small part of me wondered if what he really meant was, if I didn't love him, or if I truly wanted him to go back home.

And that made me feel happy, in a silly kind of way, that he could love me so much, to be so devastated if I would not love him in return.

When we walked through the front door back home, Dad didn't even bother grilling me. I half expected to become the steak to his side of fries with way too much salt. But he just hugged me-held me tight, like I mattered more to him than anything in the world-then handed me back to Mike before walking away, without saying a word.

I looked to Mike for reassurance.

"Food?" he said with a gentle smile.

I nodded. "Yeah. Food sounds great."

The last chimes of the principal's speech resonated in my thoughts. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the pale glow of the spotlight over me as my fingers scaled across the keys, breaking the hearts of those in the crowd tonight.

Of all the worlds my mind created, this, where I lived each day, was the most painful one; the world that hovered on the wrong side of truth-the one I could not escape from, even if I closed my eyes or woke myself up. In this world, everyone I loved was gone, and the boy the crowd mourned, Nathan, was gone too. No matter how much we played for him, he would never hear our songs, but I would play for them anyway-for all those who lived only in my memories. Including David.

I truly believed he'd come tonight, but mine was the last performance, and so far, he hadn't showed. So, I sang the words of the song from memory, not from my heart. All the joy, all the passion I once felt when singing was non-existent-dead, weighted like heavy rain. But my music teachers taught me well how to perform when everything around me was falling away. No one in the crowd would have known how much I was suffering for the painful realisation that all this was real. That David really was gone.

We finished the song to a standing ovation. Mike wiped a mock tear from his cheek; I smiled at him, then took a bow and sat back down at the piano for my solo.