He stood up as I crossed the street, his eyes practically bulging from his head. "Ara? My God, you look amazing."

I shrugged away from his touch, nearly falling backward as the heels of my pretty black shoes, so out of place on the thick turf, sunk into the ground.

"Ara?" His eyes narrowed, studying my face. "Don't. I know what you're going to say. Please don't."

"I'm sorry, David, it's better this way." The words felt like shards of glass in my throat. "Look, yesterday was great and all, but we both know where this is going. I don't see the point in dragging it out."

"Dragging it out?" His shoulders came forward with his words. "We love each other, Ara-spending our last few months together is not, by any means, dragging things out."

"It is to me. You're the one leaving-you don't have to care, you don't have to suffer like I do."

"Is that what you think?" He stepped into me; I stepped back, raising my hands. "Ara, you know nothing about what I will suffer for leaving you."

"You're right. I don't. Because you never tell me anything."

"I can't tell you. Don't you understand that?"

"Why should I? Why can't you just be honest with me?"

"You don't want to know-you told me you don't want to hear about my dark world!"

I shuffled my feet, folding then unfolding my arms. "Maybe I'm ready now."

He didn't expect that. He doubled back a little, rubbing his head. "There are so many things, Ara. I wouldn't know where to begin."

"How 'bout the reason you're leaving."

"I-" The words hung just on the exit of his lips; I tensed. "I...I can't."

"Then you can forget me staying friends with you." I turned away.

"I'm afraid of what you'll think of me," he said, and I stopped walking. "I'm afraid, because I know how sweet you are, how, despite what you think about yourself, how kind and loving and warm you are."

"So, you think I can't handle the truth?"

He smiled softly. "I know you can't."

I looked away, breathing out.

"Look, we have a few months left. I just want you like this-my sweet, beautiful girl who loves me; who looks at me like I'm good. I couldn't bear it if you hated me, Ara. I can't bear this-" he motioned to the distance between us. "Please don't break up with me."

"I have to, David."

"No, you don't."

"I'll fall more in love with you." I forced back tears. "If I keep doing this, it'll only make me break down when you're gone-and I won't get back up this time. I've got nothing left in me."

"Oh, Ara. Please don't say things like that." I heard it in his voice, the way my words crushed him. "All I ever wanted was for you to be okay again."

"Yeah, well-" I looked right into him, making sure my words hit the deepest part of his heart. "Now you're the one breaking me."

He folded over, propping his hands to his knees.

"Bye, David," I turned away. "And please don't talk to me if we pass each other in the hall."

"Do you really mean that, Ara?" His voice travelled across the distance effortlessly, carrying the entire weight of his confusion.

God no.

"Ara?"

My feet froze, no longer driven by the anger, and as I spun around to meet his emerald green gaze, my resolve slipped completely. "I don't want to hurt you, David. I'm just trying to move on."

"But, you should fight! If you really love me, you should fight for us-to be together until the end-until they drag me away."

"Maybe I'm tired of fighting." I looked down. "Maybe I just need to trust that the people I love will be with me. Forever."

"Ara. Please, look at me?" he asked smoothly, his voice dropping on the end.

"No." I shook my lowered head.

"Ara, you have to trust me; you have to believe that I will only ever do what's best for you. Me leaving, keeping you free from my world, it's what's best. You can't see that now, but if you were to know the truth, you'd see it then."

I bit my teeth together in my mouth.

"Please just give me you-just give me this girl I love, just for a few more months. I'm begging you."

"I'm just not strong enough to keep loving you, knowing I have to let you go. I'm sorry."

"So? What? You have the strength to walk away, but not to stay and fight?" His hands went back into his pockets.

"Would it do any good? To fight? And for what? For a guy who loves me enough to leave me for my own good?"

"You have no idea how right you are." He looked down, shaking his head.

I stood for a long time, watching him watching me. "Why is this so hard for you? You and my dad planned this-you never really felt any of-"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're letting me down gently." I searched his face for proof. "You promised him you'd make me okay again, and maybe you fell in love with me in the process, but then you realised, didn't you, that I'm never going to change, that-"

"Do you really believe that? Do you really think I would do that?"

"You're a nice guy, David. But this-" I held my hands out, presenting me, "-this is a lot for anyone to take."

"Ara?" He reached for me again.

I pulled away. "Just stop it."

"No. What you just said-it's not true. I never made any deal with your dad. I love you. I-"

"But it doesn't matter, does it?" I said drily. "You're leaving, whether you love me or not."

"Ara. What can I do? Please." He stepped closer, his hands out, wanting to grab me. "Please just...just tell me how to fix this."

"You can't." I turned away. "It's over."

"No." His hand shot out and he spun me into his chest by my arm. "I'm not going to let you go that easily."

"Well, you don't have a choice." Using the tops of my forearms, I pushed his hands off me. "Just like I don't."

"Choice, huh? So, you want a choice?" he called; I kept walking. "I could tell you why I can't stay-I could give you a choice, but you won't like it."

"But at least it would be on my own shoulders."

"And what then?" He grabbed my arm again, stopping me. "What if you hate me after?"

"I hope I do. Because it'll make losing you so much easier."

His mouth hung open, his body thrusting forward slightly with each breath. "I will die inside-if you hate me."

"Either way, someone gets hurt."

He nodded once. "Then, I'll tell you-because I would die a thousand deaths to save you from the pain of a paper cut, Ara. But I can't tell you here. Not now."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Right. You can tell me, but not today, huh? Same old story."

"Ara, will you stop acting like a child?"

"No! You know what?" I rolled my hip back, sinking my hand onto it. "Maybe you should just do us both a favour and leave now."

"Why do you do that?" he called as I walked away. "Why do you light your own fuse?"

I rolled my eyes.

"It doesn't have to be this way. Ara?" He came up behind me, inhumanly fast, and grabbed my arm, releasing it quickly when I glared at him.

"I said, leave me alone. I am not your little toy, David. And I'm so tired of being in pain." He backed up as I walked slowly forward, poking his chest. "You know what your secrets are; you know me-know how I'll react. Do you even need to tell me? Really?"

He stood taller, his hands falling to his side.

"Didn't think so. Just go, okay. Just leave me to get over you."

His mouth hung open, tongue between teeth and lip. "You said you were ready to hear. You said you were ready to know my dark world."

"Well-" I looked over at the school. "Maybe that was the anger talking."

"And what now?"

I bit my lip for a second. "I don't want to hate you, David. I don't want to know if I'll hate you forever."

"Then what do I do?"

It was clear; there was only one thing he could do. I nodded, preparing myself. "Just leave."

He rolled back on his heels, eyes focusing on some black pit of nothingness. "Leave?"

"Yeah. Just go now," I said, and despite the invisible strings tying my heart-trying to make me move toward him-I forced myself to turn away, leaving everything behind.

When I took one last glance backward, David was gone.

"Ara!" Ryan called, running toward me at full speed.

I quickly swiped the tears away, forcing a smile. "Hi."

"Hi." He stopped running and looked at my cheeks. "You okay?"

I nodded, sniffling. "What's up? You look-" I looked at his eyes, how red they were. "Have you been crying?"

He put his hands on his hips, panting, folding over a little. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

"Nathan Rossi." He caught his breath. "He passed away early this morning."

"Oh no!" I covered my mouth.

"I gotta find David. You seen him?"

"Does he know?"

Ryan shrugged. "Don't know. That's just it-he was closer to Nathan than any of us. We're worried 'cause no one's seen him today."

"I have," I said. I just broke his heart.

"Did he say anything?"

"I never gave him the chance."

He nodded to himself, his hands still on his hips. "Did you have a fight?"

"Mm-hm."

"Come on." The stench of his sweat wafted up when he put his arm around me. "I'll take you to the office-get you a tardy slip."

"Thanks, Ryan."