"Not judge and not jury," I agreed. "Just the long, often ineffectual arm of the law. It sucks."

Lane patted me on the shoulder. "Go home. Hug your loved ones. And take a shower. You smell like old meat." She went back to her desk, shutting my office door gently behind her.

I leaned back in my chair and pressed my hands over my eyes. I knew I looked tired and wrung out, and that I'd been acting less like a lieutenant and more like a detective who'd gone over the edge. I hadn't let a case sink its teeth into me like this one in a long time.

This used to be me, always. This shell, with circles under her eyes and too much coffee in her system. I used to snap at the drop of a hat because I would get so tired my were would take over.

Lane was right, much as I hated to ascribe that quality to someone as sanctimonious as she. I picked up my phone and called my cousin Sunny.

"Luna," she greeted me. "Troy said you'd come to see him and you were in a bad way."

"I need to talk," I said. I couldn't think of anything else that conveyed what sort of a time I'd been having.

"Of course," Sunny said. She'd known me my whole life. She knew when it was serious.

"You know that wine bar on Grove Street, the snooty one that you dragged me to a few months ago?"

"Vines? Yes, of course," Sunny said.

"Meet me there," I told her. I needed someplace far away from my usual haunts of Devere Street and Waterfront. A tony Cedar Hill wine bar was just the ticket.

"I'll leave now," Sunny said. "I was going to stay in and cook dinner for Troy, but he can fend for himself for a night."

"He's been doing it for twenty-five years," I agreed. Mac was once divorced, long ago, and had been a content bachelor until he met my cousin. I was still trying to figure that one out. "But don't hurry," I said. "There's one thing I need to do first."

"You're insane," Will said when I'd laid out the whole humiliating story of my day. "Absolutely around the bend. In what universe did this seem like a good idea?" We were standing in the light drizzle outside of the federal building, underneath the overhang where the smokers from his office congregated.

"Thank you for your support and sympathy, dear," I told him. Will rubbed his forehead with his index finger.

"That came out wrong. I meant, I don't really know what to say. I'm glad you're all right, certainly, but you can't think there won't be a reprisal..." That was my Will, practical to the point of insensitivity.

"I've dealt with the mob before," I said, thinking of my dealings with the O'Halloran family, a gang of caster witches who had done their damnedest to erase me from the planet. "It's gone bad before, too." Car bombs, beatings, and when that didn't work, a plunge off of the Siren Bay Bridge. They were persistent, I gave them that.

"If Rostov finds you again anytime soon, it won't be just 'bad,'" Will said. "It will be you, in tiny pieces, as a message to anyone else who tries to screw with their business. And not just you, Luna. The Russians don't believe in loose ends. They'll go after your whole family. Sunny, your grandmother, me ... anyone who cares enough to get revenge for your murder. If you won't stop this for your own sake, back off for theirs."

"I don't exactly have a choice here, Will," I snapped. "I'm dead if I don't do this because then I will never never get hard evidence on who killed Lily Dubois and her pack will rip me to shreds. With Rostov, at least, I know what I'm dealing with." Mostly. Anton's snarling face flew back to my mind. get hard evidence on who killed Lily Dubois and her pack will rip me to shreds. With Rostov, at least, I know what I'm dealing with." Mostly. Anton's snarling face flew back to my mind.

Will reached out and ran a thumb down my cheek. "You're awfully sure of yourself, Luna, and I respect that and I respect you and all of the crap that a supportive boyfriend is supposed to say, but you don't know know. You just don't know what's going to happen."

"Neither do you," I said, leaning over and kissing him lightly. "And you worry too much. You must be getting old."

"Very funny," Will told me and then he faced me, taking my hands in his. He pressed them against his chest, so I could feel the steady flutter of his heart under the crisp cotton of his dress shirt. "Luna, I didn't want to have this talk in the smoker's area of my work, but I have to say it-I care about you, a lot. More than I've cared about a woman in a while. Like fifty, sixty years."

I met his eyes, their inky depths usually so inscrutable that I could spend hours looking. Will's eyes were one of the things I liked about him, along with the smile, and the body, and the evil sense of humor. "Thanks. You know how to make a girl feel special."

Will gripped my hands tighter. "Marry me."

"What?" I said, oh so coherently. Will's mouth quirked.

"You heard me."

"Marry you?" I sputtered. "Will ... I ... you ... How long have you been planning this?" you?" I sputtered. "Will ... I ... you ... How long have you been planning this?"

"Well, originally there was a night of great sex, a few bottles of wine, a box under your pillow when you woke up next to me, but then you came and told me about this, and..." He sighed. "You mean something to me, Luna. I love you, and I want you to be my wife, and I may not get the chance to ask again so will you please put me out of my misery and say yes or no?"

A litany of excuses flew through my head. It's only been six months. You're cursed, I'm a were-it would never work. I fear commitment like a vampire fears a spicy marinara sauce ... It's only been six months. You're cursed, I'm a were-it would never work. I fear commitment like a vampire fears a spicy marinara sauce ... "Will..." I sighed. He was still holding my hands, and I gently extricated myself. "I just don't know." "Will..." I sighed. He was still holding my hands, and I gently extricated myself. "I just don't know."

His face fell, and he stepped back, running his hands through his hair and dislodging a blond chunk to hang in front of his eyes. "Not the answer I was wanting to hear."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but this was just so sudden and no one has ever proposed to me before, so I don't know the etiquette..." I babbled, trying to salvage something from this.

"The etiquette is, you say yes yes, " Will said testily. "And I don't embarrass myself."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think this is supposed to be about you being embarrassed," I said gently. He grimaced, and paced a few steps away from me. I stayed where I was, suddenly feeling very cold and small in the scheme of things.

"This isn't about trying to control you or trying to make you settle down or my own happiness," Will said. "This is about us us, being together. If you don't love me in the same way, tell me now and I'll walk away and we can end this before it causes some real pain."

I looked at my feet. Six months was, in the larger timeline, no time at all, but to me it was huge. Six months was the longest I'd managed to be with anyone anyone, except Dmitri, and we'd had enough fights and problems to make maybe a handspan of weeks in those six months actually good.

Will was not Dmitri. He was solid, dependable, loving. And more than any of that, he accepted meexactly as I was. He'd never tried to make me change or conform to his ideas of what a woman should be.

I didn't want Will out of my life. I just wasn't sure I wanted to be his wife. "Please don't go," I said. I came to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Will had a few inches on me, enough so that I could lay my head on his shoulder.

He sighed and stroked my hair. "I cocked this up royally, didn't I?"

"It's not you," I said. "It's me."

"That'd be funny if we weren't standing right here," he said. "What do you need, Luna? A guarantee that I won't make you wear a frilly apron? Me to proclaim adoration from the rooftops? A complete list of every other woman in my life? What?"

"Well, since that last one would take literally years," I said, "I'm not gonna go there." I pulled back and pushed the gold strands of hair out of his face. "I just need time, Will. Time to process. Time to decide." Part of me whispered that if I were really sure one way or the other I'd know already, but I told it to shut the Hex up.

He shut his eyes, and I knew gut-level that this was the end. He was going to throw up his hands, like all of the men in my life eventually did. I was just too much trouble for my own good.

Will opened his eyes and gave me a crooked smile, one that did a fairly good job of masking the hurt in his expression. "Time, I've got."

I blinked. "Really?"

"Really. For you, doll, I'm prepared to wait."

I started to shake with relief for the second time that day. "Thank you," I said, covering Will's mouth with kisses. "Thank you."

"You'd better get going," Will said, checking his watch. "You're going to be late meeting your cousin."

"We'll talk about this more when this case is closed," I said. "I promise promise." Whatever I decided when I had time to actually think, I'd never meant anything more.

Will kissed me chastely on the cheek and squeezed my hand. "Be careful, Luna. I mean it. I know you're a tough broad but the Russians are tougher."

I gave him a reassuring smile. "Honey, they've never met anyone like me. Trust me on that one."

Vines, the wine bar I'd told Sunny to meet me at, was a discreet stone building on a discreet corner in Cedar Hill. The waiters all wore black, as did most of the customers, and the music was the kind of self-conscious world tracks that no one actually actually likes to listen to. likes to listen to.

But it was quiet, it was dim and no one looked atyou to do anything except size up your hair and clothes. Once the clientel realized that I was in a wrinkled pair of suit pants and an off-the-rack blouse, they ignored me.

Sunny was in the corner with a glass of water, twisting it between her fingers. "You're late," she said when I slid in across from her. "I was starting to think you'd ditched me."

"Will proposed," I blurted. Sunny's mouth opened a fraction, and she froze, her perfectly curved eyebrows in a perfect arch. Sunny is the petite, polished, pretty one in the family. I'm the one with surprise proposals.

"Come again?"

"He proposed marriage. Legal union between two consenting adults."

Sunny grabbed a passing waiter. "House Merlot. Make it quick."

"I hate Merlot," I protested.

"You stroll in here looking like you just punched a semitruck in the face and tell me that your immortal boyfriend proposed. It's not for you." She folded her arms. "Now, why don't you explain why you look like you just rolled out of a gutter in Times Square, circa 1979?"

"I..." I sighed. "That's the other part of what I need to talk to you about. There was this enforcer, with this Russian gangster I paid a visit to today and it was like ... he was a were, but he wasn't phased. Wasn't even close."

"Not a Redback?" Sunny asked. I shot her a black look.

"Not like Dmitri, no. No phasing at will. He was just strong, and fast, and..." Frightening. "A little crazy," I finished.

Sunny spread her hands. "A pack you haven't encountered before. A pack that's extra strong."

"No, it's more than that," I insisted. "It was like..." I sighed. The waiter set a glass of Merlot in front of Sunny, bloody and a little thick like a Merlot should be. The smell of the grapes overtook my nose and I coughed into my hand.

I couldn't articulate what about Anton had scared me so, but it was more than a pack that was stronger than the average were. It was something primal that my were understood but I didn't.

To understand it would be to allow the were to roam free again, and my life now was predicated on that not being the case. My job, Will, sitting here with my cousin instead of alone at home, because my rage wouldn't let me be safe with other people.

"Luna, tell me about Will," Sunny said, taking a long drink of her wine. "Tell me what happened."

I laid my hands on the table and looked at them. My knuckles were scraped on the left, my nails scrimmed with dirt, and they shook a little, from being hungry and tired. "I need to go," I sighed. "I need to get some sleep."

"Luna..." Sunny started, reaching for me as I stood. I shook her off.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Sunny. Enjoy your Merlot."

"Luna!" she snapped as I walked away. "Luna, you can't turn your back on this! This is important important. This is your life life. "

I looked at her over my shoulder. "Sure doesn't feel that way sometimes, Sun."

Leaving Vines, I drove home through a light mist, my headlights beams of dancing droplets, like gems. I rubbed my eyes before I shut off the Nova and locked it, making sure I had my bag of dirty clothes from work to take to the laundry, my laptop bag, my badge and gun, a few extra clips I'd left in the car.

My apartment doorway was a cocoon of light in the mist, and I walked toward it, feeling the weight of my bags and of the day lean heavy on me.

Footsteps sounded behind me, and I heard the drunken giggle of a college girl and the lower rumbling of her boyfriend's voice as they turned into one of the bars on the next block.

What would I say to Will? How could he expect me to spend the rest of my life with him, when I couldn't even spend one day without succumbing to the were?

Footsteps came again, and I felt air against my neck. I spun, my dirty laundry slipping out of my hands.

Victims who say things like It all happened so fast It all happened so fast always sound like they weren't aware, that they were caught flatfooted, but it did happen fast, too fast for me to see. always sound like they weren't aware, that they were caught flatfooted, but it did happen fast, too fast for me to see.

There was a touch against my throat, a hand sliding across my chest, two more figures out of the fog in front of me, a sting against my neck.

I didn't smell or hear them. All I felt was the terrible cold in my blood, the one I knew all too well. Silver.

The entire right side of my body went numb from the kiss of it, and I felt my knees buckle. I fell to the sidewalk, twitching. What had they done to me? I'd never felt this way, not when I'd been drugged once before, not when I'd been hit with a silver round. It hurt, yes, but nothing like this.

This felt like dying.

As I lay there helpless, with no control over my body and only the haziest sense of what was happening to me, I heard a voice.

"Get her up. Nosy fucking cop has got a long trip ahead of her."

CHAPTER 12.

I fell through layers of cotton, the sting in my neck disappearing. It was strangely soothing ... everything smoothed at the edges and sounds came to me from a distance, calming like waves on a black sand shore.

My gun, badge and holdout weapon were gone, their familiar weight light. Hands pulled at my clothes, palms a kiss of cold on my skin. Once they'd determined I wasn't wearing a wire, they left me alone. I couldn't care less. I floated down, landing gently on a rough automobile carpet, feeling lighter than air.

"Gods, Nikolai," said a voice. "How much did you give her?"

"Enough for a were," Nikolai said. "And she's a bitch, believe me. She smacked me good when she came to my office."

"Just get her into the van," the second voice snapped. A woman. The quality-assurance portion of the prostitution ring, no doubt. Trust a woman to judge a woman. "You're less than worthless, you know that? What if she dies on me?"

"She's a cop who came into my business asking all kinds of fucking questions," Nikolai growled. "Questions that are troublesome. You'd be starring in a remake of Caged Heat Caged Heat right now if it wasn't for me." right now if it wasn't for me."

I drifted out then, coming back to myself with the rumbling of an engine running through my body. Dimly, I wondered how long it would take Will and the SCS to find me. Tomorrow morning, later? How long before someone like me was missed, and not just a relief not to have around?

The engine stopped and the door opened. I was hauled out, stumbling like a prom date on spiked punch, and dropped next to other warm bodies that I felt but didn't see, my vision blurring in gentle waves. There were other women around me, halos of light softening their features as my drugged eyes struggled to focus.

Will would find me. Will would miss me. I just wanted to sleep, to dip into the dream sea and swim forever.

No. My were snarled, howled and scraped its teeth over the inside of my head, but I couldn't rouse myself. They'd dosed me too strong; I couldn't think, couldn't move ...

None of it mattered in the next second as a new parade of images took over from my hope that someone would find me before the truck reached the port.