ENTER CRITES, INTRODUCING MERCURY FANTASTICALLY DRESSED.

AMO. What are you, sir?

CRI. By your license, grand-master.--Come forward, sir.

[TO MERCURY.]

ANA. Heart! who let in that rag there amongst us? Put him out, an impecunious creature.

HED. Out with him.

MORP. Come, sir.

AMO. You must be retrograde.

CRI. Soft, sir, I am truchman, and do flourish before this monsieur, or French-behaved gentleman, here; who is drawn hither by report of your chartels, advanced in court, to prove his fortune with your prizer, so he may have fair play shewn him, and the liberty to choose his stickler.

AMO. Is he a master?

CRI. That, sir, he has to shew here; and confirmed under the hands of the most skilful and cunning complimentaries alive: Please you read, sir. [GIVES HIM A CERTIFICATE.]

AMO. What shall we do?

ANA. Death! disgrace this fellow in the black stuff, whatever you do.

AMO. Why, but he comes with the stranger.

HED. That's no matter: he is our own countryman.

ANA. Ay, and he is a scholar besides. You may disgrace him here with authority.

AMO. Well, see these first.

ASO. Now shall I be observed by yon scholar, till I sweat again; I would to Jove it were over.

CRI. [TO MERCURY.] Sir, this is the wight of worth, that dares you to the encounter. A gentleman of so pleasing and ridiculous a carriage; as, even standing, carries meat in the mouth, you see; and, I a.s.sure you, although no bred courtling, yet a most particular man, of goodly havings, well-fashion'd 'haviour, and of as hardened and excellent a bark as the most naturally qualified amongst them, inform'd, reform'd, and transform'd, from his original citycism; by this elixir, or mere magazine of man. And, for your spectators, you behold them what they are: the most choice particulars in court: this tells tales well; this provides coaches; this repeats jests; this presents gifts; this holds up the arras; this takes down from horse; this protests by this light; this swears by that candle; this delighteth; this adoreth: yet all but three men. Then, for your ladies, the most proud, witty creatures, all things apprehending, nothing understanding, perpetually laughing, curious maintainers of fools, mercers, and minstrels, costly to be kept, miserably keeping, all disdaining but their painter and apothecary, 'twixt whom and them there is this reciprock commerce, their beauties maintain their painters, and their painters their beauties.

MER. Sir, you have plaid the painter yourself, and limn'd them to the life. I desire to deserve before them.

AMO. [RETURNING THE CERTIFICATE.] This is authentic. We must resolve to entertain the monsieur, howsoever we neglect him.

HED. Come, let's all go together, and salute him.

ANA. Content, and not look on the other.

AMO. Well devised; and a most punishing disgrace.

HED. On.

AMO. Monsieur, we must not so much betray ourselves to discourtship, as to suffer you to be longer unsaluted: please you to use the state ordain'd for the opponent; in which nature, without envy, we receive you.

HED. And embrace you.

ANA. And commend us to you, sir.

PHI. Believe it, he is a man of excellent silence.

PHA. He keeps all his wit for action.

ANA. This hath discountenanced our scholaris, most richly.

HED. Out of all emphasis. The monsieur sees we regard him not.

AMO. Hold on; make it known how bitter a thing it is not to be look'd on in court.

HED. 'Slud, will he call him to him yet! Does not monsieur perceive our disgrace?

ANA. Heart! he is a fool, I see. We have done ourselves wrong to grace him.

HED. 'Slight, what an a.s.s was I to embrace him!

CRI. Ill.u.s.trious and fearful judges--

HED. Turn away, turn away.

CRI. It is the suit of the strange opponent (to whom you ought not to turn your tails, and whose noses I must follow) that he may have the justice, before he encounter his respected adversary, to see some light stroke of his play, commenced with some other.

HED. Answer not him, but the stranger: we will not believe him.

AMO. I will demand him, myself.

CRI. O dreadful disgrace, if a man were so foolish to feel it.

AMO. Is it your suit, monsieur, to see some prelude of my scholar?

Now, sure the monsieur wants language--

HED. And take upon him to be one of the accomplished! 'Slight, that's a good jest; would we could take him with that nullity.-- "Non sapete voi parlar' Italiano?"

ANA. 'Sfoot, the carp has no tongue.

CRI. Signior, in courtship, you are to bid your abettors forbear, and satisfy the monsieur's request.

AMO. Well, I will strike him more silent with admiration, and terrify his daring hither. He shall behold my own play with my scholar. Lady, with the touch of your white hand, let me reinstate you. [LEADS MORIA BACK TO THE STATE.] Provost, [TO ASOTUS.] begin to me at the "Bare Accost". [A CHARGE.] Now, for the honour of my discipline.

HED. Signior Amorphus, reflect, reflect; what means he by that mouthed wave?

CRI. He is in some distaste of your fellow disciple.

MER. Signior, your scholar might have played well still, if he could have kept his seat longer; I have enough of him, now. He is a mere piece of gla.s.s, I see through him by this time.