AMO. Redeem that we cannot, but to create a new flame is in our power. Here is a gentleman, my scholar, whom, for some private reasons me specially moving, I am covetous to gratify with t.i.tle of master in the n.o.ble and subtile science of courtship: for which grace, he shall this night, in court, and in the long gallery, hold his public act, by open challenge, to all masters of the mystery whatsoever, to play at the four choice and princ.i.p.al weapons thereof, viz., "the Bare Accost, the Better Regard, the Solemn Address," and "the Perfect Close." What say you?

ALL. Excellent, excellent, Amorphus.

AMO. Well, let us then take our time by the forehead: I will instantly have bills drawn, and advanced in every angle of the court.--Sir, betray not your too much joy.--Anaides, we must mix this gentleman with you in acquaintance, monsieur Asotus.

ANA. I am easily entreated to grace any of your friends, Amorphus.

ASO. Sir, and his friends shall likewise grace you, sir. Nay, I begin to know myself now.

AMO. O, you must continue your bounties.

ASO. Must I? Why, I'll give him this ruby on my finger. Do you hear sir? I do heartily wish your acquaintance, and I partly know myself worthy of it; please you, sir, to accept this poor ruby in a ring, sir. The poesy is of my own device, "Let this blush for me,"

sir.

ANA. So it must for me too, for I am not asham'd to take it.

MORUS. Sweet man! By my troth, master, I love you; will you love me too, for my aunt's sake? I'll wait well, you shall see. I'll still be here. Would I might never stir, but you are a fine man in these clothes; master, shall I have them when you have done with them?

ASO. As for that, Morus, thou shalt see more hereafter; in the mean time, by this air, or by this feather, I'll do as much for thee, as any gallant shall do for his page, whatsoever, in this court, corner of the world, or kingdom.

[EXEUNT ALL BUT THE PAGES.]

MER. I wonder this gentleman should affect to keep a fool: methinks he makes sport enough with himself.

CUP. Well, Prosaites, 'twere good you did wait closer.

PRO. Ay, I'll look to it; 'tis time.

COS. The revels would have been most sumptuous to-night, if they had gone forward. [EXIT.]

MER. They must needs, when all the choicest singularities of the court were up in pantofles; ne'er a one of them but was able to make a whole show of itself.

ASO. [WITHIN.] Sirrah, a torch, a torch!

PRO. O, what a call is there! I will have a canzonet made, with nothing in it but sirrah; and the burthen shall be, I come.

[EXIT.]

MER. How now, Cupid, how do you like this change?

CUP. Faith, the thread of my device is crack'd, I may go sleep till the revelling music awake me.

MER. And then, too, Cupid, without you had prevented the fountain.

Alas, poor G.o.d, that remembers not self-love to be proof against the violence of his quiver! Well, I have a plot against these prizers, for which I must presently find out Crites, and with his a.s.sistance pursue it to a high strain of laughter, or Mercury hath lost of his metal.

[EXEUNT.]

ACT V

SCENE I.--THE SAME.

ENTER MERCURY AND CRITES.

MER. It is resolved on, Crites, you must do it.

CRI. The grace divinest Mercury hath done me, In this vouchsafed discovery of himself, Binds my observance in the utmost term Of satisfaction to his G.o.dly will: Though I profess, without the affectation Of an enforced and form'd austerity, I could be willing to enjoy no place With so unequal natures.

MER. We believe it.

But for our sake, and to inflict just pains On their prodigious follies, aid us now: No man is presently made bad with ill.

And good men, like the sea, should still maintain Their n.o.ble taste, in midst of all fresh humours That flow about them, to corrupt their streams, Bearing no season, much less salt of goodness.

It is our purpose, Crites, to correct, And punish, with our laughter, this night's sport, Which our court-dors so heartily intend: And by that worthy scorn, to make them know How far beneath the dignity of man Their serious and most practised actions are.

CRI. Ay, but though Mercury can warrant out His undertakings, and make all things good, Out of the powers of his divinity, Th' offence will be return'd with weight on me, That am a creature so despised and poor; When the whole court shall take itself abused By our ironical confederacy.

MER. You are deceived. The better race in court, That have the true n.o.bility call'd virtue, Will apprehend it, as a grateful right Done to their separate merit; and approve The fit rebuke of so ridiculous heads, Who, with their apish customs and forced garbs, Would bring the name of courtier in contempt, Did it not live unblemish'd in some few, Whom equal Jove hath loved, and Phoebus form'd Of better metal, and in better mould.

CRI. Well, since my leader-on is Mercury, I shall not fear to follow. If I fall, My proper virtue shall be my relief, That follow'd such a cause, and such a chief.

[EXEUNT.]

SCENE II.--ANOTHER ROOM IN THE SAME.

ENTER ASOTUS AND AMORPHUS.

ASO. No more, if you love me, good master; you are incompatible to live withal: send me for the ladies!

AMO. Nay, but intend me.

ASO. Fear me not; I warrant you, sir.

AMO. Render not yourself a refractory on the sudden. I can allow, well, you should repute highly, heartily, and to the most, of your own endowments; it gives you forth to the world the more a.s.sured: but with reservation of an eye, to be always turn'd dutifully back upon your teacher.

ASO. Nay, good sir, leave it to me. Trust me with trussing all the points of this action, I pray. 'Slid, I hope we shall find wit to perform the science as well as another.

AMO. I confess you to be of an apted and docible humour. Yet there are certain punctilios, or (as I may more nakedly insinuate them) certain intrinsecate strokes and wards, to which your activity is not yet amounted, as your gentle dor in colours. For supposition, your mistress appears here in prize, ribanded with green and yellow; now, it is the part of every obsequious servant, to be sure to have daily about him copy and variety of colours, to be presently answerable to any hourly or half-hourly change in his mistress's revolution--

ASO. I know it, sir.

AMO. Give leave, I pray you--which, if your antagonist, or player against you, shall ignorantly be without, and yourself can produce, you give him the dor.

ASO. Ay, ay, sir.

AMO. Or, if you can possess your opposite, that the green your mistress wears, is her rejoicing or exultation in his service; the yellow, suspicion of his truth, from her height of affection: and that he, greenly credulous, shall withdraw thus, in private, and from the abundance of his pocket (to displace her jealous conceit) steal into his hat the colour, whose blueness doth express trueness, she being not so, nor so affected; you give him the dor.

ASO. Do not I know it, sir?