You tell us strange things, to say there is but one G.o.d in three persons.

LONGINUS.

Is it any where said that we must believe your old prophets (with whom your memory seems overburdened) to be more perfect than our G.o.ds?

PATHOCLUS. You must be very cunning to maintain impossibilities.

Now listen to me: Is it possible that a virgin can bring forth a child without ceasing to be a virgin?

DOMITIAN.

Will you not change these foolish sentiments? Would you pervert us?

Will you not convert yourself? Lords! you perceive now very clearly what an obstinate fellow this is! Therefore let him be stripped and put into a great caldron of boiling oil. Let him die at the Latin Gate.

PESART.

The great devil of h.e.l.l fetch me if I don't Latinise him well.

Never shall they hear at the Latin Gate any one sing so well as he shall sing.

TORNEAU.

I dare venture to say he won't complain of being frozen.

PATROCLUS.

Frita, run quick; bring wood and coals, and make the caldron ready.

FRITA.

I promise him, if he has the gout or the itch, he will soon get rid of them.

St. John dies a perfect martyr, resigned to the boiling oil and gross jests of Patroclus and Longinus. One is astonished in the present times at the excessive absurdity, and indeed blasphemy, which the writers of these Moralities permitted themselves, and, what is more extraordinary, were permitted by an audience consisting of a whole town. An extract from the "Mystery of St. Dennis" is in the Duke de la Valliere's "Bibliotheque du Theatre Francois depuis son Origine: Dresde, 1768."

The emperor Domitian, irritated against the Christians, persecutes them, and thus addresses one of his courtiers:----

Seigneurs Romains, j'ai entendu Que d'un crucifix d'un pendu, On fait un Dieu par notre empire, Sans ce qu'on le nous daigne dire.

Roman lords, I understand That of a crucified hanged man They make a G.o.d in our kingdom, Without even deigning to ask our permission.

He then orders an officer to seize on Dennis in France. When this officer arrives at Paris, the inhabitants acquaint him of the rapid and grotesque progress of this future saint:----

Sire, il preche un Dieu a Paris Qui fait tout les mouls et les vauls.

Il va a cheval sans chevauls.

Il fait et defait tout ensemble.

Il vit, il meurt, il sue, il tremble.

Il pleure, il rit, il veille, et dort.

Il est jeune et vieux, foible et fort.

Il fait d'un coq une poulette.

Il joue des arts de roulette, Ou je ne Scais que ce peut etre.

Sir, he preaches a G.o.d at Paris Who has made mountain and valley.

He goes a horseback without horses.

He does and undoes at once.

He lives, he dies, he sweats, he trembles.

He weeps, he laughs, he wakes, and sleeps.

He is young and old, weak and strong.

He turns a c.o.c.k into a hen.

He knows how to conjure with cup and ball, Or I do not know who this can be.

Another of these admirers says, evidently alluding to the rite of baptism,----

Sire, oyez que fait ce fol prestre: Il prend de l'yaue en une escuele, Et gete aux gens sur le cervele, Et dit que partants sont sauves!

Sir, hear what this mad priest does: He takes water out of a ladle, And, throwing it at people's heads, He says that when they depart they are saved!

This piece then proceeds to entertain the spectators with the tortures of St. Dennis, and at length, when more than dead, they mercifully behead him: the Saint, after his decapitation, rises very quietly, takes his head under his arm, and walks off the stage in all the dignity of martyrdom.

It is justly observed by Bayle on these wretched representations, that while they prohibited the people from meditating on the sacred history in the book which contains it in all its purity and truth, they permitted them to see it on the theatre sullied with a thousand gross inventions, which were expressed in the most vulgar manner and in a farcical style. Warton, with his usual elegance, observes, "To those who are accustomed to contemplate the great picture of human follies which the unpolished ages of Europe hold up to our view, it will not appear surprising that the people who were forbidden to read the events of the sacred history in the Bible, in which they are faithfully and beautifully related, should at the same time be permitted to see them represented on the stage disgraced with the grossest improprieties, corrupted with inventions and additions of the most ridiculous kind, sullied with impurities, and expressed in the language and gesticulations of the lowest farce." Elsewhere he philosophically observes that, however, they had their use, "not only teaching the great truths of scripture to men who could not read the Bible, but in abolishing the barbarous attachment to military games and the b.l.o.o.d.y contentions of the tournament, which had so long prevailed as the sole species of popular amus.e.m.e.nt. Rude, and even ridiculous as they were, they softened the manners of the people, by diverting the public attention to spectacles in which the mind was concerned, and by creating a regard for other arts than those of bodily strength and savage valour."

_Mysteries_ are to be distinguished from _Moralities_, and _Farces_, and _Sotties_. _Moralities_ are dialogues where the interlocutors represented feigned or allegorical personages. _Farces_ were more exactly what their t.i.tle indicates--obscene, gross, and dissolute representations, where both the actions and words are alike reprehensible.

The _Sotties_ were more farcical than farce, and frequently had the licentiousness of pasquinades. I shall give an ingenious specimen of one of the MORALITIES. This Morality is ent.i.tled, "The Condemnation of Feasts, to the Praise of Diet and Sobriety for the Benefit of the Human Body."

The perils of gormandising form the present subject. Towards the close is a trial between _Feasting_ and _Supper_. They are summoned before _Experience_, the Lord Chief Justice! _Feasting_ and _Supper_ are accused of having murdered four persons by force of gorging them.

_Experience_ condemns _Feasting_ to the gallows; and his executioner is _Diet_. _Feasting_ asks for a father-confessor, and makes a public confession of so many crimes, such numerous convulsions, apoplexies, head-aches, and stomach-qualms, &c., which he has occasioned, that his executioner _Diet_ in a rage stops his mouth, puts the cord about his neck, and strangles him. _Supper_ is only condemned to load his hands with a certain quant.i.ty of lead, to hinder him from putting too many dishes on table: he is also bound over to remain at the distance of six hours' walking from _Dinner_ upon pain of death. _Supper_ felicitates himself on his escape, and swears to observe the mitigated sentence.[97]

The MORALITIES were allegorical dramas, whose tediousness seems to have delighted a barbarous people not yet accustomed to perceive that what was obvious might be omitted to great advantage: like children, everything must be told in such an age; their own unexercised imagination cannot supply anything.

Of the FARCES the licentiousness is extreme, but their pleasantry and their humour are not contemptible. The "Village Lawyer," which is never exhibited on our stage without producing the broadest mirth, originates among these ancient drolleries. The humorous incident of the shepherd, who having stolen his master's sheep, is advised by his lawyer only to reply to his judge by mimicking the bleating of a sheep, and when the lawyer in return claims his fee, pays him by no other coin, is discovered in these ancient farces. Brueys got up the ancient farce of the "_Patelin_" in 1702, and we borrowed it from him.

They had another species of drama still broader than Farce, and more strongly featured by the grossness, the severity, and personality of satire:--these were called _Sotties_, of which the following one I find in the Duke de la Valliere's "Bibliotheque du Theatre Francois."[98]

The actors come on the stage with their fools'-caps each wanting the right ear, and begin with stringing satirical proverbs, till, after drinking freely, they discover that their fools'-caps want the right ear. They call on their old grandmother _Sottie_ (or Folly), who advises them to take up some trade. She introduces this progeny of her fools to the _World_, who takes them into his service. The _World_ tries their skill, and is much displeased with their work. The _Cobbler_-fool pinches his feet by making the shoes too small; the _Tailor_-fool hangs his coat too loose or too tight about him; the _Priest_-fool says his ma.s.ses either too short or too tedious. They all agree that the _World_ does not know what he wants, and must be sick, and prevail upon him to consult a physician. The _World_ obligingly sends what is required to a Urine-doctor, who instantly p.r.o.nounces that "the _World_ is as mad as a March hare!" He comes to visit his patient, and puts a great many questions on his unhappy state. The _World_ replies, "that what most troubles his head is the idea of a new deluge by fire, which must one day consume him to a powder;" on which the physician gives this answer:----

Et te troubles-tu pour cela?

Monde, tu ne te troubles pas De voir ce larrons attrapars Vendre et acheter benefices; Les enfans en bras des Nourices Estre Abbes, Eveques, Prieurs, Chevaucher tres bien les deux soeurs, Tuer les gens pour leurs plaisirs, Jouer le leur, l'autrui saisir, Donner aux flatteurs audience, Faire la guerre a toute outrance Pour un rien entre les chrestiens!

And you really trouble yourself about this?

Oh, _World!_ you do not trouble yourself about Seeing those impudent rascals Selling and buying livings; Children in the arms of their nurses Made Abbots, Bishops, and Priors, Intriguing with girls, Killing people for their pleasures, Minding their own interests, and seizing on what belongs to another, Lending their ears to flatterers, Making war, exterminating war, For a bubble, among Christians!

The _World_ takes leave of his physician, but retains his advice; and to cure his fits of melancholy gives himself up entirely to the direction of his fools. In a word, the _World_ dresses himself in the coat and cap of _Folly_, and he becomes as gay and ridiculous as the rest of the fools.

This _Sottie_ was represented in the year 1524.

Such was the rage for Mysteries, that Rene d'Anjou, king of Naples and Sicily, and Count of Provence, had them magnificently represented and made them a serious concern. Being in Provence, and having received letters from his son the Prince of Calabria, who asked him for an immediate aid of men, he replied, that "he had a very different matter in hand, for he was fully employed in settling the order of a Mystery--_in honour of G.o.d_."[99]

Strutt, in his "Manners and Customs of the English," has given a description of the stage in England when Mysteries were the only theatrical performances. Vol. iii, p. 130.

"In the early dawn of literature, and when the sacred Mysteries were the only theatrical performances, what is now called the stage did then consist of three several platforms, or stages raised one above another.

On the uppermost sat the _Pater Coelestis_, surrounded with his Angels; on the second appeared the Holy Saints, and glorified men; and the last and lowest was occupied by mere men who had not yet pa.s.sed from this transitory life to the regions of eternity. On one side of this lowest platform was the resemblance of a dark pitchy cavern, from whence issued appearance of fire and flames; and, when it was necessary, the audience were treated with hideous yellings and noises as imitative of the howlings and cries of the wretched souls tormented by the relentless demons. From this yawning cave the devils themselves constantly ascended to delight and to instruct the spectators:--to delight, because they were usually the greatest jesters and buffoons that then appeared; and to instruct, for that they treated the wretched mortals who were delivered to them with the utmost cruelty, warning thereby all men carefully to avoid the falling into the clutches of such hardened and remorseless spirits." An anecdote relating to an English Mystery presents a curious specimen of the manners of our country, which then could admit of such a representation; the simplicity, if not the libertinism, of the age was great. A play was acted in one of the princ.i.p.al cities of England, under the direction of the trading companies of that city, before a numerous a.s.sembly of both s.e.xes, wherein _Adam_ and _Eve_ appeared on the stage entirely naked, performed their whole part in the representation of Eden, to the serpent's temptation, to the eating of the forbidden fruit, the perceiving of, and conversing about, their nakedness, and to the supplying of fig-leaves to cover it. Warton observes they had the authority of scripture for such a representation, and they gave matters just as they found them in the third chapter of Genesis. The following article will afford the reader a specimen of an _Elegant Morality_.