Lynn was unloading the bag and handing me the items. My cover doc.u.mentation, driver's license, pa.s.sport and even an advert for books from a local paper, showed that, as from now, I lived in Derbyshire. There were three credit cards. These would have been serviced every month, and used so that I ended up with a normal bill like everyone else. The family who covered for me made sure of that; years ago we used to keep all this stuff with us all the time, but there were too many f.u.c.kups, with people getting corrupt and using the credit cards to pay for new cars and silk underwear for their mistresses. An audit a few years earlier had unearthed two K operators who had never even existed, and somebody somewhere was drawing off the money.

Lynn said, "There's the photography kit to Mac anything down to us."

I Xhad a quick look inside. From the way that Lynn said it, I knew he'd just got the briefing on this kit, and it sounded all exciting and s.e.xy. I nodded.

"Great, thanks."

"Here are your flight details and here are your tickets." As he got them out of the bag he checked the details and said, "Oh, so you're Nick Snell now?"

"Yep, that's me." It had been for quite a while now, ever since I became operational again after ... well, after what I'd thought I'd got away with.

Then he produced two flash cards from envelopes and handed them to me.

"Your codes. Do you want to check them?"

"Of course." He pa.s.sed the bag to me. I took out the Psion 3C personal organizer and turned it on. I'd been trying to get the new 5 Series out of the service, but unless the funds were for building squash courts, it was like trying to get blood from a stone. All the Ks would have to put up with the 3Cs they'd bought two years ago--and the thing I had was one of the early ones, which didn't even have the backlit display. The service's att.i.tude to kit was the same as that of a thrifty mother who buys you a school uniform several sizes too big, only in reverse.

I put the cards into both of the ports. It would be no good getting on the ground and finding that these things didn't work. I opened up each one in turn and checked the screen. One had just a series of five number sequences; I closed that down and took it out. The other had rows of words with groups of numbers next to each word. All was in order.

"The contact number is ..." Lynn started to reel off a London number.

The Psion held the names and addresses of everyone from the bank manager to the local pizza shop, as you would have as part of your cover. I hit the data icon, and tapped the telephone number straight in, adding, as I always did, the address "Kay's sweet shop," I could sense Elizabeth's eyes burning into the back of my head and I turned around. She was looking disapprovingly at me over the top of her paper, clearly put out that I was entering her contact number in the 3C. But there was no way I'd remember it that quickly; I'd need to go away and look at it, and once I had it in my head I'd wipe it off. I'd never been clever enough to remember strings of telephone numbers or map coordinates as they were given to me.

Lynn carried on with the details.

"Once in D.C." make contact with Michael Warner ." He gave me a contact number, which I also tapped in.

"He's a good man, used to work in communications, but had a car accident and needed to have steel plates in his head."

I closed down the Psion.

"What's he do now?"

Elizabeth had finished with the racing section and turned to the share prices. The driver still hadn't turned a page. Either he was learning the recipe of the day by heart or he'd gone into a trance.

Lynn said, "He's Sarah's PA. He'll let you into her apartment."

I nodded.

"What's the cover story?"

Lynn looked impatiently at his watch; maybe he had another squash game to get to.

"He knows nothing, apart from the fact that London needs to check out her security while she's away on business. It's time for her PV review."

Personal vetting is carried out every few years to make sure you aren't becoming a target for blackmail, or sleeping with the Chinese defense attache--unless you've been asked to by Her Majesty's government--or that you, your mother, or your great aunt haven't chucked in your lot with the Monster Raving Loony Party. Not that that would have meant that much in the past. Once you were "in" as an IG things seemed to flow along without much in the way of monitoring, unless you were at the lower end of the food chain my end where it was a completely different story.

"He is a bit strange at times; you may have to be patient." Lynn started to smile.

"He had to leave the com ms cell because his steel plate picked up certain frequencies and he used to get terrible head pain. He's good at his job, though." The smile faded as he added pointedly, "And more important, he's loyal."

I shrugged.

"Fine." Chances were that Metal Mickey was loyal because he couldn't get a job anywhere else, apart from as a relay station for Cellnet.

I was packing everything back into the bag. I couldn't wait to get into the fresh air; I was fed up with being scrutinized and f.u.c.ked over by these people. But Lynn hadn't finished. He had one more item, which he shoved right under my nose. It was a sheet of white paper, requiring a signature for the codes. I used Lynn's pen to scribble mine and handed it back. No matter what happens, you've still got to sign for every single thing. Everyone needs to cover their a.s.s.

I pushed open the door and slid it back, picking up the day sack When my feet were on the concrete I turned and said, "What if I can't find her?"

Elizabeth lowered the paper and gave me the sort of look she'd given our friends in the Ford Escort.

Lynn glanced at Elizabeth, then back at me.

"Get yourself a good barrister."

I picked up the day sack turned away and started to walk toward the elevator. I heard the door slide closed, and moments later the Previa moved off.

I walked toward the elevator trying not to get myself into a rage. I didn't know what had brought it back on--the fact that the Firm knew about both Sarah and Kelly, or the fact that I'd been stupid enough to think they didn't. I tried to calm down by telling myself that, in their shoes, I would have done exactly the same, would have used it as a lever to make me do the job. It was a fair one, but that didn't make me any happier about being on the receiving end.

I got to the elevator and jabbed the b.u.t.ton. I looked at the red digital display above the door. Nothing was moving. An elderly couple arrived, having an argument about the way their bags were stacked on the trolley.

We all waited.

The elevator stopped at every floor but ours. I stabbed at the b.u.t.ton six times in rapid succession and the elderly couple shut up and moved to the other side of their trolley to keep out of my way.

Maybe it was Sarah I was p.i.s.sed off with, or maybe I was just p.i.s.sed off with myself for letting her under my guard. Elizabeth was spot on, she had been responsible for my divorce.

The wait for the elevator was starting to turn into a joke. More people had arrived with trolleys and were milling about. I took the stairs. Two levels down, I followed the signs to departures across the skywalk, fighting my way against a stream of pedestrian traffic with suntans. Several charter flights must have come in at once.

I couldn't get the briefing out of my mind. How was it that they knew everything about last year's f.u.c.kup? I'd kept my mouth shut all along and let them have just the barest of facts.

There was no way I was going to let them take the money off me. Did they even know about it? I had a brain wave and started to feel better. They couldn't know everything. If so, they would know that I had enough evidence to put a few of the f.u.c.kers behind bars forever, and if they knew that, they wouldn't risk threatening me. Then I felt p.i.s.sed off again: they could do what they wanted, because they knew about Kelly. I'd seen grown men's emotions getting f.u.c.ked over and used against them when it came to their kids, but I'd never thought it would happen to me. I cut all the conjecture from my mind and started working.

Departures was the normal mayhem people trying to steer trolleys that had other ideas and parents chasing runaway two-year-olds. A gaggle of p.u.b.escent schoolkids with tin grins were on a trip somewhere, and an American kids' orchestra was sitting on its trombone and ba.s.soon cases, bored with waiting to check in.

I went to the cash point then to the bureau de change. Next priority was to find myself some plausible hand luggage. I bought myself a leather holdall, threw in my quick-move day sack and headed for the pharmacy for washing and shaving stuff. After that I hit a clothes shop for a pair of jeans, a couple of shirts and spare underwear.

I checked in at the American Airlines business-cla.s.s desk and fast tracked air side into the lounge, where I got straight on my mobile to contact my "family." They were good people, James and Rosemary. They had loved me like a son since I boarded with them years ago, or that was the cover story, anyway. James always seemed like a father should be; he was certainly the sort of man who would have taken his eight-year-old around HMS Belfast. Both civil servants who had taken early retirement, they had never had any children because of their careers, and were still doing their bit for Queen and country. I even had a bedroom they called it "Nick's room" in the loft. If all your doc.u.mentation shows that's where you live, you must have a room, surely?

These were the people who would both confirm my cover story and also be part of it. I visited them whenever I could, especially before an op, with the result that my cover got stronger as time pa.s.sed. They knew nothing about the ops and didn't want to; we would just talk about what was going on at the social club, and what to do with greenfly on the roses.

James wasn't the best gardener in the world, but this sort of detail gives substance to a cover. While I was in the area I would use my credit cards at one or two local shops, collect any mail and leave. It was a pain to do, but details count.

"h.e.l.lo, James, it's Nick here. Quick change of plan. I'm going for a holiday in America." I might have changed names, but not James and Rosemary. They just got used to the change of details; after all, I was their third "son" since retirement.

"Any idea how long for?"

"A couple of weeks probably."

"All right, have a good holiday then, Nick. Be careful; it's a violent country."

"I'll do my best. See you when I get back. Say h.e.l.lo to Rosemary for me."

"Of course, see you soon. Oh, Nick ..."

"Yes?"

"Local council elections. It was a Lib Dem who got in."

"OK, Lib Dem. Male or female?"

"Male, Felix something. His ticket was to stop the planning permission for the super store."

"Oh, OK. Will he block it?"

"Don't be stupid. And talking of blockages, the problem with the septic tank got sorted out yesterday."

"OK, cheers. I tell you what, I'm glad your s.h.i.t is sorted out there, because I'm up to my neck in it here." We were both still laughing as I pressed "end" and watched the businessmen frantically bent over their laptops.

There was nothing else to do now but wait for my flight, my head slowly filling up with Sarah. I didn't want to do this job. She'd f.u.c.ked me up, but I still missed her. I could see that if what I was being told was right, she definitely needed to be stopped; it was just that I didn't want to be the one to do it.

I settled into my business-cla.s.s seat, listening first to the screams and banter of the zit-faced, hormonal boys and girls from the band twenty rows behind me, then to a very smooth, west coast American voice saying how wonderful it was for the flight crew and cabin staff to be able to serve us today.

They filled us with drink and a meal of chicken covered in stuff, and it was only then that I closed my eyes and started to think seriously about how I was going to find Sarah.

Even in the U.K." a quarter of a million people go missing each year, over 16,000 of them permanently--not, for the most part, because they've been abducted, but out of deliberate choice. If you go about it the right way it's a very simple thing to do. Sarah knew how to do that; it was part of her job. Finding a missing person in the U.K. was bad enough, but the sheer size of the U.S.A." and the fact that I couldn't turn to anyone for help, meant it was going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack, in a field full of haystacks, in a country full of fields.

Whatever was going on in her head, like most people in this business, Sarah would have her security blanket tucked away. Part of that would be another ident.i.ty. I had two backup IDs, in case one was discovered.

Everybody finds their own way to build one up and, more especially, hide it from the Firm. If you ever had to do a runner from them, you'd need that head start, and if Sarah had it in mind to disappear it would have been well planned. She wasn't the sort of person to do anything at half c.o.c.k.

Then again, nor was 1.1 thought about my new mate, Nicholas Davidson, who I'd b.u.mped into in Australia the year before. He was a bit younger than me, and had the same Christian name, which is always a good start, as it helps when reacting to a new ID. But more importantly, both Nick and Davidson are very common names.

I found him in a gay bar in Sydney. It's usually the best place for what I had in mind, whatever country you're in. Nicholas, I soon learned, had been living and working in Australia for six years; he had a good job behind the bar and a partner with whom he shared a house; most important of all, he had no intention of going back to the U.K. Pointing out of the window, he said, "Look at the weather. Look at the people. Look at the lifestyle. What do I want to go back for?" I got to know him over two or three weeks; I'd pop in there a couple of times a week, when I knew it was his shift, and we'd have a chat. I met other gay men there, but they didn't have what Nicholas had. He was the one for me.

When I got back to the U.K." I opened up an accommodation address in his name. Then I went to the town hall and got Nicholas registered on the electoral roll for the area of the address and applied for a duplicate of his driver's license. It arrived from the DVLC three weeks later.

During that time I also went to the Registry of Births and Deaths at St. Catherine's House in London and obtained a copy of his birth certificate.

He hadn't liked to talk to me about his past, and I could never get anything more out of him than his birthday and where he was born, and trying to dig any deeper would have aroused suspicion. Besides, his partner, Brian, was getting p.i.s.sed off with me sniffing around. It took a couple of hours of scouring the registers between 1960 and 1961 before I found him.

I went to the police and reported that my pa.s.sport had been stolen.

They gave me a crime number, which I put on my application form for a replacement. Added to a copy of the birth certificate, it worked: Nick Davidson the Second was soon the proud owner of a brand-new ten-year pa.s.sport.

I needed to go farther. To have an authentic ID you have to have credit cards. Over the next few months I signed up with several book and record clubs; I even bought a hideous-looking Worcester porcelain figurine out of a Sunday supplement, paying with a postal order. In return, I got bills and receipts, all issued to the accommodation address.

Next I wrote to two or three of the high-street banks and asked them a string of questions that made it sound as if I were a big-time investor. I received very grovelling letters in reply, on the bank's letterhead, and written to my address. Then all I did was walk into a building society, play very stupid and say I would like to open a bank account, please. As long as you have doc.u.mentation with your address on, they don't seem to care.

I put a few quid in the new account and let it tick over. After a few weeks I got some standing orders up and running with the book clubs, and at last I was ready to apply for a credit card. As long as you're on the electoral register, have a bank account and no bad credit history, the card is yours.

And once you have one card, all the other banks and finance houses will fall over themselves to make sure you take theirs as well. Fortunately, it appeared that Nick One had left no unpaid bills behind when he'd left. If he had it would have been back to the drawing board.

I was thinking about going one step farther and getting myself a National Insurance number, but really there was no point. I had money and I had a way out, and anyway, you can just go down to the local DSS and say you're starting work the next Monday. They'll give you an emergency number on the spot, which will last you for years. If that doesn't work, you can always just make one up; the system's so inefficient it takes forever for them to find out what's going on.

As soon as I had my pa.s.sport and cards up and running, I used them for a trip to confirm they worked. After that, I carried on using them to keep the cards active and to get the pa.s.sport stamped with a few entries and exits.

Just as I would do if I needed to disappear, Sarah would be leaving behind everything she knew. She wouldn't be contacting family or friends, she would completely bin all the little day-to-day experiences that made up her life, all the little eccentricities that would give her away.

I started to think back over what she'd told me of her past because, without any outside help, that was the only place I had to go. I really knew very little, apart from the fact that she'd had a boyfriend a while ago, but binned him after finding out he was also seeing another woman. The story went that he lost a finger during the row with her; and that was the sum total in that department. Maybe metal-headed Mickey Warner could help, if I made it sound like a PV question. In fact, there would be plenty of questions for him to answer.

As for the family and her upbringing, she'd never told me much. All I knew was that, though we might have come from different ends of the social spectrum, we seemed to share the same emotional background. Neither set of parents had given a monkey's. She was f.u.c.ked off to school when she was just nine, and me, well, I was just f.u.c.ked off. Her family life was a desert, and it would hold no clues. The more I thought about it, the smaller the needle became and the larger the haystack.

What it boiled down to was that if she wanted to disappear she could-n.o.body was going to find her. I could be on her trail for months and still not be getting any warmer. I racked my brains, trying to remember something, anything, that might help, some little clue she might have revealed at some point that would give me a lead.

I pressed the "call" b.u.t.ton and ordered a couple of beers, partly to help me sleep, partly because, once I got to D.C." there would be no more alcohol.

For me, work and drink never mixed.

Maybe Josh could help. I could get hold of him when he returned from the U.K." and maybe he could access some databases and run some covert checks. I wondered whether I should tell him the truth, but decided against. It could land both of us in the s.h.i.t.

The thought suddenly struck me that part of me was hoping I wouldn't find her. I felt depressed, but resolved to crack on and get it over and done with. I would go straight to her flat, meet my new mate Metal Mickey, and take it from there.

The beer turned up and I decided to veg out for the rest of the flight. As I watched a film my mind drifted to Kelly. She was probably sitting at the table with her grand ad drawing pictures and drinking tea and trying to pull her shirt out from her jeans every time her grandmother tucked it back in. I made a mental note to call her.

I took another swig of beer and tried my hardest to think of something else, but I couldn't get Sarah out of my mind.

In 1987, two years before the end of the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan, the U.K. and U.S. were sending teams in-country to train Afghani rebels, the mujahedin.

The Soviet Union had invaded Afghanistan eight years earlier. Peasant villagers got their first experience of modern technology when they were pounded by Moscow's jets, tanks and helicopters. Three million were killed or maimed; six million others fled west into Iran or east into Pakistan.

Those that were left standing took on the Russians, living on stale bread and tea, sleeping on rocky mountainsides.

Eventually the mujahedin put out an international plea for help. The West responded with $6 billion worth of arms. Congress, however, would not give permission for the rebels to be armed with American Stinger ground-to-air missiles to take down the Russian gunships and ground attack aircraft, so our job was to train them in how to operate the Brit Blowpipe missiles instead. The CIA reasoned that if Congress was shown that the Afghans had a p.i.s.s-poor ground-to-air missile capability which they certainly did with Blowpipe: you needed to be a brain surgeon or have two right hands to use the thing then they would eventually be allowed to have Stingers instead. They were right. We stayed and generally trained them how to f.u.c.k the Russians over.

Not that I knew it at the time I was more concerned about not losing a leg on the hundreds of thousands of antipersonnel mines the Russians had dropped but in Saudi Arabia, a few years before, a young civil engineering graduate called Osama Bin Laden had also responded to the rebels' plea for help, packing himself and several of his family's bulldozers off to central Asia. An Islamic radical from an influential and enormously wealthy family, whose construction company had been involved in rebuilding the holy mosques in Mecca and Medina, Bin Laden was inspired by what he saw as the plight of Muslims in a medieval society besieged by a twentieth-century superpower.

At first his work was political. He was one of the Saudi benefactors who spent millions supporting the Afghan guerrillas. He recruited thousands of Arab fighters in the Gulf, paid for their pa.s.sage to Afghanistan and set up the main guerrilla camp to train them. Then he must have gone a bit loopy. With all that money he decided to take part in the fighting himself. I never saw him, but every other word from the mujahedin would be on the subject of how great he was. They loved him, and so did the West at that time. He sounded like a good lad, taking care of widows and orphans by creating charities to support them and their families, all that sort of stuff.

Our team had just finished a six-month tour in the mountains north of Kabul and was cleaning up back in the U.K.. before a two-week holiday when we got called to London for orders. It looked as if we were going back to visit our new best mates a bit quicker than we thought. Aboard the helicopter, the rumor going around was that we were needed to protect a civil servant during meets with the mujahedin. We groaned at the thought of having to nanny a sixty-year-old Foreign Office pen-pusher while he did an on-site audit of arms expenditure. Colin had been picked to be with the princ.i.p.al at all times when on the ground, while the rest of us would provide protection from a distance.

"f.u.c.k that," said Colin.

"It'll be like getting stuck in an episode of Yes, Minister." He promptly wriggled out of it and handed the job over to me.

Colin, Finbar, Simon and I were part of the team. We were sitting in a briefing room in a 1960s office block on the Borough High Street, just south of London Bridge, drinking tea from a machine and gob bing off as we waited for others to arrive. A woman we didn't recognize entered the room, and all four of us, as well as a few of the advisers and briefing personnel, did a double take. She was stunning, her body hardly disguised by a short black skirt and jacket. She nodded to people she knew and sat down, seemingly oblivious to the many pairs of male eyes burning into her back.

Colin would f.u.c.k the crack of dawn if he had the chance. He couldn't keep his eyes off her. She took off her jacket, and the sleeveless top beneath showed off her shoulders. They had definition: she trained. I could sense Colin getting even more excited.