Simon glared down at his dying enemy for a moment before lifting his eyes to search for Meghann. He saw her hunched over a pile of rocks, frantically pawing through the stones.

"My father's ring!" she screamed up at him when he touched her shoulder.

"That that c.o.c.ksucker, he must have ripped it off my neck!" Meghann clawed at the rubble, not seeming to notice her long nails breaking as she tore the ground apart.

"I can't lose my father's ring," Meghann sobbed. "His wedding ring my brother Frankie gave it to me after I left you, I visited my family before I went to Alcuin. And Frankie said Daddy wanted me to have the ring I was supposed to give it to my husband. I wear it around my neck, to keep it near me. But now it's not here I can't find it! I can't lose it, I can't!"

"Meghann." Simon spoke in a low, gentle voice, rocking her back and forth as though she were a small child. "It's all right no, don't cry. We'll find the ring, I promise. Hush now, hush."

Meghann clung to him, feeling lulled by the steady beat of his heart and the broad, comforting chest that pillowed her head.

"Now," Simon said, the calmness of his voice pushing her panic back. "Where were you when Guy took your ring?"

"It was after they tied me to the mesa. I felt the chain come off my neck but the mesa doesn't exist now. It blew up when I when I called that thing. So I was looking through the debris "

"Do you remember where the mesa was?"

Meghann nodded and pointed to a large boulder a few feet from them.

"Let's start our search there." Simon helped her up, and kept one arm around her waist as they walked to the spot where the mesa had stood.

Immediately, Simon spied a small gleam of gold under the largest piece of stone and plucked up the ring. "Here you are, sweetheart." He deposited the ring in the breast pocket of the shirt he'd put on Meghann.

Instead of smiling, she looked up at him with somber eyes. She felt the solid- gold band through the thin fabric of the linen shirt and thought of how excited she'd been the night Frankie gave her the ring, the night she thought she'd killed Simon and visited the family she hadn't been near since she had transformed.

The wedding ring was Meghann's talisman, something she'd gained by leaving Simon to die and making peace with the family he'd kept her from. The ring was proof she was the independent, fearless woman her father had raised her to be, not the simpering little creature that obeyed Lord Baldevar's every whim.

Now that wretched Guy Balmont had forced her into a position where she had to depend on Simon for her life. d.a.m.n him, Meghann thought, feeling almost strangled by the anger and frustration inside her. She'd sought sanctuary with Alcuin to be free of Simon, and now Guy had pushed her right back into his arms "What crisis made you cling to me last night?" Simon asked softly though his gold eyes burned through the pitch-black surrounding them. Meghann started to speak and he grabbed her close, gripping her forearms in an iron vise that made her cry out.

"You're mine," Simon said fiercely. "Why does that simple truth make you writhe in embarra.s.sment? What will it take to make you realize you belong to me?"

Before she could respond, Simon kissed her no gentle caress like he'd given her the night before but a hard, possessive touch that unleashed a wild, primal desire inside her.

I want you, Meghann body and soul. Surrender to me!

"Yes," she heard herself pant, everything save the tempestuous, dominating force tearing through her forgotten. "Please take me!"

Wh.o.r.e!

"Guy," Meghann cried and sat up. "I thought he was dead!"

"If I did not have ample reason before to kill him, I most certainly do now,"

Simon growled and gave a mock scowl at Meghann's giggle. He smiled and pulled her close for one more kiss before getting up and giving her his hand. "Wait by the car, and I shall destroy him. Then, we shall pick up where we were before that knave interrupted us."

Meghann shook her head. "It's my place to kill him, not yours."

Simon laughed, and folded her arm through his. "More and more, you are proving yourself my consort. Certainly yours should be the hand to wield the executioner's ax. Come along, sweetheart."

The impaled vampire sprawled facedown on the rocky desert floor, gasping for breath and squirming miserably with the sword securely lodged through his chest.

Simon gave Guy a chilling grin and grabbed his arm, tearing into his carotid artery with his blood teeth.

Meghann had to turn away watching Simon feed was making her own blood l.u.s.t rise. She glanced up at the full moon, thinking that instead of her finding answers, this trip out to the desert had resulted in more questions.

Something was happening between her and Simon, had been since the night she conceived. She'd been so sure, when Alcuin first told her Lord Baldevar was still alive, that he'd want to kill her. Instead, he'd declared himself still in love with her and laughingly told her she reciprocated his feelings, even if she denied it.

Meghann had denied it vehemently and often. Hadn't she spent forty years of her life reviling him, thanking G.o.d she was free of him? Then he reappeared and it was almost as if they'd never been apart. But why? It wasn't as if time had mellowed him he was still the same amoral fiend that took what he wanted with no regard for anyone else.

May G.o.d forgive you for embracing a monster.

"Shut up!" Meghann howled out loud, startling Simon out of feeding. She yanked the sword out of Guy's body and used it to castrate him with one swift stroke. "Don't you call him a monster, you you baby killer!"

Meghann brandished the sword high above her head, about to bring it down on Guy's neck, when he whimpered, "I have failed my master."

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?" she demanded. "Alcuin would despise you for what you tried to do tonight." "It's " he tried to gasp out, "it's you he would despise now Baldevar's s.l.u.t " Hemorrhaging from his mouth and nose, Guy was unable to continue speaking.

"Weakling," Simon muttered and put his hand on Guy's lank hair, allowing a small spark of life to flow through the dying vampire just enough so he could finish his last words.

Meghann felt her heart plummet into her stomach at the eager, interested look on Simon's face. If he gave Guy a reprieve, then she was sure she didn't want to hear what he was about to say.

Guy managed to smile at her the grin a hideous contrast to the pain in his eyes. "He made you his favorite to trick you make you trust him. Alcuin didn't love you just wanted to keep you away from your master. Told me told me to deal with you kill you if you ever conceived Lord Baldevar's child."

"You lying motherf.u.c.ker!" Meghann swung the sword at Guy's neck, decapitating him in the blink of an eye. After he was dead, she continued to hack at his flesh, swinging blindly. "Die! Die! Die! Die!"

She howled and thrashed when Simon pinioned her arms to her sides and took the sword from her. "Let go of me!"

"Your hysteria could harm the child," he said calmly.

"It's not true! It's not!" Meghann cried. "Alcuin loved me, I know he did."

Simon turned her around and caressed her cheek. "Perhaps he was fond of you as long as you remained pious and frigid toward me. However, if he ever thought you were falling in love with me again, he would have sanctioned your death without a second thought."

Meghann choked out the word "no" but it was a desperate plea instead of a furious denial.

"Meghann, he knew the implications of you reuniting with me, and I'd wager my immortality that he never once discussed them with you. You are carrying a child that might release us from darkness. If he lives, someday his blood might give us the power to walk in daylight. If I possess such power, what will stop me from destroying everyone that stands in my way?"

Suddenly, Meghann saw it a ruthless vampire who didn't have to sleep during the day. The rest of the vampires would be completely vulnerable to him; he'd kill them while the sun was up.

"That's right, Meghann. Alcuin knew he'd have to either keep us apart or destroy you."

"Stop saying that!" Meghann yelled. "Alcuin wouldn't kill me, never!"

"Wouldn't he? I killed him before making you pregnant to keep you safe. After you conceived, if you had managed to leave me again, do you know what he would have done?" Simon's bleak grin frightened Meghann more than Guy's surprise attack. "Nothing. He would have kept us separated so I could not nourish you with my blood just stood over your deathbed and watched you starve to death."

Meghann put her hands to her ears; she could not bear to hear any more of this. It was making the past forty years of her life a lie. Simon took her hands in his, breaking her heart as well as her faith in Alcuin with his words. "What do you think, Meghann? That Alcuin would tell you to seek me out so I could save you? He kept you in the dark because he never fully trusted you or your good friend, Doctor Tarleton." Simon's lips curled derisively at her shocked look. "Meghann, I'm not spinning this tale of betrayal to convince you that you have no friends and make you turn to me for solace; I have no desire to win you by default. I simply want you to face some hard truths. Do you think Charles Tarleton would still be alive if I thought he wanted to kill you? No, Alcuin could see that you and Charles gave your first loyalty to each other so he lied to you both."

"Maybe he didn't know I had to drink your blood," Meghann cried, finding a straw to grasp at.

Simon laughed nastily. "Dear girl, do you know how Infans Noctis came into my possession? Isaac Spears stole it from Alcuin. He knew that secret long before I ever did."

Meghann didn't know it was possible to hurt like this; there was a bitter lump in her throat and a tightness in her chest that made it difficult to breathe. She took air in short, shallow gasps, willing herself not to cry. She would not cry over this she would not cry over being betrayed by Alcuin, over the idea that all his loving guidance that reminded her so much of her mortal father turned out to be no more than a means to an end for him, a way to keep her and Lord Baldevar apart.

Meghann looked at the h.e.l.lish scene around her Guy Balmont's head glaring up at her, the eyes open and accusing, the dismembered corpse of his apprentice, all the rocks from the shattered mesa and thought she had to get away from this cursed spot. She had to get in her car and drive far, far from this place where she nearly lost her child. If she never saw the desert again, it would be too soon. She started to walk, idly wondering if Simon would make any move to detain her.

Right now she couldn't even look at him. How he must be laughing at her, a silly fool that couldn't even see she was being manipulated, that Alcuin only took her in to keep her from him.

Feeling dizzy and sick, she sagged against the Caddy, utterly drained and incapable of taking another step, even the small one of opening the car door. The world spun away from her and she would have slumped to the ground if not for the strong arms that picked her up and tossed her onto the front seat of the car.

Feed and you'll feel better. A wrist appeared under her mouth, and her nose twitched at the inviting smell of strong, hot blood.

Hungrily, Meghann bit down, feeling nothing but relief when the sweet taste of blood filled her mouth and banished her sickness. She lapped up the blood greedily, devouring not just the liquid but the power and strength flowing into her body from Simon's blood, wanting all that vigor for herself and the baby.

"Enough," she heard an amused voice say and the wrist was yanked away from her blood teeth and grasping hands. She became aware that her head was resting on Simon's lap, and tried to move but he kept her in place. "You must wait until you can feed on mortals again to drain your prey completely, little predator."

"Simon?" she murmured drowsily. "Is there something wrong with me? Why am I so tired?"

"Nothing is wrong," he responded calmly. "Nothing but being pregnant and utterly exhausted from that wretched attack. Sleep now, little one, and I promise you'll feel better when you wake up tomorrow night." "Why didn't you kill me?" she said and twisted around to make herself more comfortable. Meghann knew her questions had some sense of urgency behind them but it was getting so hard to think or speak.

"What?"

"When you came back." She yawned. "Why didn't you just kill me? ran off and left you to die ruined our life together for nothing just so one of your enemies could could use me against you. Why don't you hate me?"

"Hate you? For what? Being young and vulnerable to the machinations of a duplicitous priest? Don't upset yourself by dwelling on the past. Just shut your eyes and get the sleep you need to recover."

"Where are we going?" she managed to slur out when she heard the Caddy roar to life. "I Don't take me back to Lee's scared to be alone "

"Hush," Simon told her and stroked her hair, lulling her into sleep. "I am taking you where you belong home with me."

"Good," Meghann said and closed her eyes. She could sleep now, knowing that Simon Baldevar was standing guard over her and her baby.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

August 18, 1998

Meghann looked around the dark, dank chamber with loathing. This was where Simon had tortured Jimmy. Bile rose in her throat when her eyes settled on the iron maiden, the door to the casket ajar but empty now.

Against her will, Meghann remembered when that foul contraption had contained the body of her lover. Was it her imagination or did she see small drops of blood glistening on the brutal spikes in the door of the iron maiden?

Jimmy's blood how it must have hurt when those spikes settled into his flesh as Simon slammed the door shut and how Jimmy must have screamed "No, please, no. I don't want to see!" Meghann pleaded with whatever force, be it her subconscious or something stronger, used her dreams to drag her back to this awful place.

"Look carefully at this room, Banrion," a somber voice intoned behind her, and Meghann spun around to see Alcuin standing in the center of the room, his gentle brown eyes filled with sorrow and pity while he addressed her. "This chamber is a perfect reflection of Simon Baldevar's soul dark, bleak, twisted, and capable of any cruelty to gain what he wants. Is that the kind of man you want to raise your child with?"

"Don't you lecture me on what kind of man Simon is," Meghann fired back, for the first time addressing Alcuin without the utmost respect and love. She wasn't won over by his addressing her with the pet name of Banrion; she remembered all Simon had told her. "Even he doesn't prey on pregnant women."

"What Guy did to you last night was despicable," Alcuin said, and Meghann had never seen his gentle eyes look so sad. "I would never deny that and I will not allow him to go on thinking he did it for me. But he was not the one that caused this situation. Guy, like everyone else, is terrified of Lord Baldevar. That terror brought all the flaws in Guy's soul to the surface. I am not trying to excuse Guy he will suffer for his behavior. But I do not believe he would have hurt you if Lord Baldevar hadn't made you conceive."

"Would you have hurt me because Simon made me conceive?" Meghann demanded angrily. "Was Simon right were you going to stand by and let me die without telling me I needed his blood to survive?"

"Never," Alcuin said firmly. "Lord Baldevar achieving the philosophers'

stone may present a grave threat to all that oppose him but I would never sanction your death to neutralize that threat. Meghann, you are an innocent in all of this. I know that wicked fiend forced himself upon you. "

Meghann sagged against the iron maiden. "Alcuin, that's a lie. Simon he didn't force himself on me that night. "

"No!" Alcuin came to her side, clutching her arms with a grip that hurt even in a dream. "Banrion, brute strength isn't the only way to rape a woman. Never underestimate Lord Baldevar's cleverness. I know what he did to you that night he found every vulnerable, soft corner in your mind and exploited them all ruthlessly. I know he took advantage of your fear and uncertainty and when you lay weeping before him, he took you."

Meghann shook her head. "I was crying because he made me see that part of me part of me loves him." There she'd said it. Part of her loved Simon Baldevar; always had, always would.

Alcuin took her hands in his. "Banrion, trust me when I tell you what you feel is not love. You're simply very vulnerable right now and your vulnerability makes you reach out for any kind of comfort. But I beg you, do not turn to Simon Baldevar for solace. Remember the monster that lurks beneath the soft facade he's adopted in an attempt to win your heart. All his sweet, tender words and gestures are false. He doesn't love you, because he's incapable of love. Once you have the child, he'll destroy you if not by killing you outright, then by making your soul as bleak and shattered as his own. Lord Baldevar is a vampire in every sense of the word. He will take everything from you, suck you dry, and leave you with nothing. Please don't give him your heart."

Alcuin's words cut into her like a knife. She couldn't bear to think that Simon was lying to her, that he didn't love her as he claimed, that the wonderful sense of peace she had when he held her close and soothed her fears was nothing but a calculated ruse to make her trust him.

"Oh," Meghann gasped. The thought of Simon not loving her why hadn't she seen it before? Seen what kind of pain she must have put him through when she screamed that she hated him? She must have ripped his heart out when she was ready to walk out after thirteen years of professing to love him with all her heart and soul. How would she have felt if he'd been the one to turn her away all those years before?

Horrible, Meghann realized. Hurt and furious, but like him, she'd have been too proud to let him see her pain. No, she too would have thought of nothing but revenge of hurting him as badly as he hurt her.

"I'm a fool," Meghann said, her voice dull and toneless. "This room, all the pain and death Jimmy Delacroix it's all my fault. I shouldn't have left Simon, I should have stayed with him and then everyone would be safe. "

"Where would you be?" Alcuin demanded, and she still saw no anger or disappointment in his' gentle eyes. "Dead? Resigned to your fate?"

"In love," Meghann told him. "Don't you see, Alcuin? Maybe I do long for things Simon can't or won't give me but I do love him. I wish to G.o.d I didn't but I do."

"You don't love him it's simply l.u.s.t and his blood in you."

"No!" she howled. "No, no! I love him I don't know why, but I do. Maybe there's something twisted and bent inside me, but I do love him and I'm tired of denying it."

"Banrion, no. You're in shock you don't know what you're saying. I know you you'll feel very differently when you no longer need his blood. Then you'll see him for what he is and when you do, Banrion, you can destroy him if you'll just let me work through you. After you have your child, allow my spirit to enter your body and you'll finally be able to live without the threat of Lord Baldevar hanging over your head." Now Meghann understood she knew why Alcuin had come to her. He needed someone living so he could possess their body with his own strength to behead Simon Baldevar. Who better for the position than the only person in the world Simon wanted to trust Meghann O'Neill, the mother of his child?

Besides, with Meghann's gift for summoning, it would be very easy for Alcuin's spirit to enter her body.

"You only came to me tonight because you want to use me," she accused, ignoring the pain in Alcuin's expression. "All you care about is killing Simon you could give less of a d.a.m.n if he makes my soul as bleak and shattered as his own. Go away! Find someone else to carry on your holy war against Simon Baldevar."

Alcuin tried to grab her, and she clawed at him furiously. "Let me go! Leave me the h.e.l.l alone! Why can't all of you leave me alone? If you want Simon dead, do it yourself! Leave me alone. I want out of here. Simon! Simon, help me!"

She felt a harsh slap on her cheek. "Wake up!" Meghann sat up with a start, green eyes darting about wildly. Simon was leaning over her, the fury in his expression making her shake until she realized it wasn't directed at her.