"You don't have any conflicts about the three of us being closer," I said.

"Exactly."

I frowned at him.

"You must be more forthright with ma petite, Nathaniel. You know this."

Nathaniel sighed. "The two of you were letting it all get away from us again, and I wanted it to work, so I made it work."

I frowned harder. "I don't understand."

"It is not some outside force attacking us, ma petite, but those inside growing into their power."

"I still don't understand." And then suddenly I did understand, or thought I did. "Wait. You mean that Nathaniel mind-rolled me."

"I didn't mean to do that part, but I wanted you and Damian to be with me, for us all to be together."

"What did you do?" I asked, coming to stand in front of him.

He rounded his shoulders and hunched up. "You looming over me isn't helping."

"You're taller than I am."

"It is not about physical height, ma petite, and you know this."

"Fine," I said, and backed up so I wasn't looming. I stood there, arms crossed under my breasts, trying not to scowl at him and probably failing.

"I wanted it to work between us."

"Wait. I remember you saying something: I want this, you said."

"Yes."

"Your eyes were glowing lavender, so it was your power, not some interloper's, because then your eyes would have been the color of whoever was trying to take us over."

"Damian's eyes glowed his color, and yours glowed to your power. It was all us, just us."

I shook my head. "So why don't I remember?"

"This was his first time being in charge of your metaphysical union, ma petite. I believe he used more power than was needed, but he did not realize that until you had no memory of it."

"Did we all have unprotected sex? I mean, did you think to grab a condom for Damian?"

Nathaniel looked miserable. "No, I got carried away with it all. I'm sorry, truly sorry about that part."

"Normally I would be more angry about that," Jean-Claude said, "but ma petite is on birth control other than condoms. Damian is also older than even I am, so it is unlikely that he would be fertile. If you had to make that mistake with anyone, he is a good choice."

"Thank you for not being angry," Nathaniel said.

"He's not angry, but I am."

"I didn't know I could be in charge of us all. You both simply said yes to what I wanted. I asked for permission several times and you both said yes."

"Yes to what?" I asked.

"Let's just say that I hope Damian either remembers saying yes to me or doesn't remember anything at all."

I shook my head. "What did you do to our heterosexual vampire boy?"

"I didn't do anything to him, exactly."

"Then what exactly did you do to him?"

He turned his head to one side, and finally moved his braid to one side to expose more neat fang marks in the side of his neck. "He wanted to have sex again."

"So you supplied the blood for the next go-round," I said.

He let his braid fall back over it. "For round two, yes."

"How many rounds were there?" I asked suspiciously.

He grinned, but the look that went with it said he was far too pleased with himself.

"How many, Nathaniel?"

He opened his knees and moved his shorts out of the way to show another neat bite on his inner thigh.

I reached down toward my leg. "I didn't notice one when I got dressed."

"You were pretty upset when you dressed," he said, giving a small smile. He was trying not to look happy, but failing. I appreciated the effort not to piss me off more. It wasn't working, but I appreciated the effort.

"Four times, really? Four times with no condom-that's upping the odds a little too much, Nathaniel," I said. I let the frown go to the scowl I'd been wanting to have for the last fifteen minutes.

"It didn't up your chances four times, and I don't have to worry about getting pregnant."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

Jean-Claude laughed, loud and long, head back, mouth so wide open that he was flashing not just his fangs but almost every sparkling tooth in his head.

I turned the scowl on him. "What is so fucking funny?"

"Ma petite, Nathaniel was gallant enough to use his body to protect yours."

"What?" I asked.

"You and Damian kept saying yes. How was I supposed to know that you weren't sober enough to give permission?"

I'd been slow on the uptake, because I was angry and it was easier to just be angry instead of listening, but Nathaniel deserved better than that from me. I loved him, was in love with him, would have married him if I could have married more than just one man.

I took in a deep breath and let it out slow, counting my breaths, calming my body to calm the rest of me. Anger and blaming everyone else were easy. It had kept me emotionally safe for years, and emotionally isolated. I'd made the choice that I didn't want to do that anymore, which meant I had to choose something else to do. I'd decided what didn't work in my life; I was still working at what to put in its place that did work.

"Are you well, ma petite?"

I nodded. "I'm trying to be." I went to Nathaniel and offered him my hand. He looked up at me, then took my hand.

"I'm really sorry, Anita. I swear to you that I thought you and Damian were enjoying everything as much as I was."

"I believe you."

He smiled and squeezed my hand. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most," he said.

"I love you mostest," I said, smiling. Usually Micah was there to help us finish the litany, but it worked for just the two of us.

"I don't know what Damian will think when he wakes up for the night, but I'm okay."

"I think, ma petite, mon minet, it will depend on whether Damian received or gave attention."

"I received," Nathaniel said. "A lot of heterosexual men are willing to do it, but being on the other side of things weirds them out more. I didn't push."

"It can be difficult to tell the difference between normal persuasion and vampiric powers at first," Jean-Claude said.

"I didn't expect to have vampiric powers," Nathaniel said. "I thought only Anita and Damian had 'powers.'" He made air quotes with his free hand when he said powers.

"Richard is stronger for being a part of our triumvirate," Jean-Claude said.

"He's the leader of the local werewolves. He started stronger," Nathaniel said.

"Do not underestimate yourself, Nathaniel. There are different kinds of power. You have done something that Richard has never managed to do."

"He's tried to bespell me before," I said.

"But never successfully, and this was very successful," Jean-Claude said.

"I hope that Damian agrees with the successful part when he wakes up," Nathaniel said.

"One problem at a time, pussycat."

My phone rang and it was Edward's ringtone.

Nathaniel squeezed my hand and said, "It's Edward. Take it."

I pulled out my phone and said, "I'm here . . . Ted."

"We don't have to pretend right now," he said.

"Okay, what's up, Edward?"

"I told the police you had a vampire that knows the older vampires here."

"And?"

"If you bring him to help us talk to them, the police would agree to you coming in to consult."

"I can't agree to Damian coming back into Ireland, Edward. He feels like he barely escaped the first time."

"This time we know the vampires are here and real. Damian can come in with the full protection of the police."

"You don't know what you're asking, Edward."

"I know people are dying, Anita. I know more are going to die if we don't figure out how to stop this."

"It's just a bunch of vampires, Edward. You know how to kill vampires. Kill them and get out of there."

"The local police aren't letting me off leash much."

"What's that mean?"

"It means that the Irish are having trouble deciding how to deal with the vampires."

"Have you found the vampires that are doing this?"

"Not yet, but when we do the Irish still don't have a death penalty."

"Wait. Are you seriously telling me that when you finally trace these bastards down, the locals aren't going to kill them?"

"You know better than I do that vampires can become good little citizens, Anita."

"Not if they're doing this kind of shit, Edward."

"I'll bet if you ask your fiance what he did when he first rose from the grave it won't be any worse than this."

Jean-Claude had heard both ends of the conversation, of course. He said, "When the bloodlust first rises we all do horrible things, unless our masters lock us away for those first nights."

I looked at him while I said to Edward, "No one's innocent, I guess, but whoever is doing this in Ireland is killing people now, not hundreds of years ago."

"I guess that does make it worse," he said, his voice very dry.

"I can't ask Damian to go back to Ireland."

"Anita, his old master was so scary that she spooked you, but just a few years later she's lost enough power that she can't control a bunch of new vampires. What changed?"

"Damian won't know the answer to that."

"No, but he will know more about the local vampires than anyone else here, because he was one of them."