July 16, 1999, Friday

Manila, Philippines

Dear G.o.d:

I need someone to talk to . My feelings toward Adelan is just , maybe, like friends because he treated me as his friend . When I take a look at Bradley, I noticed that my feelings towards him does not yet fade . I found out that he already knew about it . Lord, I wanted to cry and cry out of shame . Because I am looking like a foolish in the front of him . And, hoping that someday, we would be together . Lord, I wish he did not exist tome because I am afraid what might be happened next . G.o.d, help me with this problem, and I don't want to happen it again . Yes, it is not bad to admire someone but it is hard for me to hope that I will be close to him . This is final! I hope I will not experience this again . Hope that he is not exist to me .

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Amen .

. . .

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