"Maybe not." He shrugs. "But I know you. And I know that I've never seen you quite so taken with someone before. I just don't want to see you get f.u.c.ked over."

"I'm not some bleeding heart, p.u.s.s.y." I chuckle. "If she decides she'd rather be with him then good riddance." I play it off like I couldn't give a s.h.i.t which couldn't be further from the truth.

I'm just not ready to let the doubt seep in just yet.

"Fair enough," Paxton laughs, changing the subject. "You heading into Deviants tonight?" he asks.

"Yeah. Deck's got Kimber over so I figure I'll head over and just make sure everything is running smoothly."

"Can you believe our boy is getting married?" He laughs, shaking his head like he still hasn't fully grasped the fact.

"Dude, I never thought I'd see the day," I agree.

"Now you're all b.a.l.l.s deep over a chick, too." He gestures to me. "You f.u.c.kers are getting soft on me."

"f.u.c.k you." I fake offense.

"I'm just kidding," he states the obvious. "I'm really happy for him. Kimber seems great."

"She really is. She has to be to put up with his emotional a.s.s." I shake my head.

"What time are you heading to the bar?" he asks, reaching over the counter to drop his now empty bottle in the trash can.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower and then head over."

"Mind if I tag along? I'm going f.u.c.king stir crazy just sitting here." He gestures around the condo.

"Not at all. You have any luck finding a place yet?" I ask, knowing he's been looking for a couple weeks now.

"You getting tired of me already?" He acts overly offended but is clearly joking.

"You know you're welcome to stay here as long as you need," I say, clasping my hand down on his shoulder for a brief moment as I pa.s.s. "Whatever you need just let me know." I release my grasp on him.

I know how hard of a time Paxton has had since losing his mom. I don't think he's quite let go of the guilt he's carrying for how rocky of a relationship he had with her growing up.

"I appreciate that, man," he calls after me as I disappear down the hall that houses the condo's two bedrooms and bathrooms.

Slipping inside my room, which is the larger of the two, I cross the s.p.a.ce to the attached bathroom, stripping off my clothes as I go.

I'm completely naked by the time I reach the shower, flipping the water on to let it warm up before finally stepping inside. The moment the hot liquid rains down over my back, Harlee's face flashes in front of my eyes. The way her nails scratched down the very place the water is now hitting. The way her l.u.s.t-filled eyes held my gaze as I rocked on top of her. The sounds of her cries of pleasure.

Just the thought of it makes my f.u.c.king d.i.c.k hard again. What I wouldn't give to have her right here with me at this very moment. The thought is f.u.c.king torture. To crave the feeling of her wrapped tightly around me and her not be anywhere close by to satisfy that craving is like a drug addict denying themselves the fix they so desperately need.

I don't know what the f.u.c.k it is about this girl that has me so wrapped up in her. I can't escape her, no matter how hard I try.

I'm f.u.c.king obsessed...

And there's not one f.u.c.king thing I can do about it.

Chapter Eleven.

Harlee The elevator ride up to Gavin's apartment feels like it lasts an eternity. I can feel every single beat of my heart, every breath my lungs take as they suck in air and let it out. I'm a wreck; a ball of nervous energy as I watch the b.u.t.ton to the seventeenth floor finally light up and the doors slide open.

The moment my feet hit the hallway, I turn around, ready to say f.u.c.k this and spend the two-hour drive back to Eugene being p.i.s.sed at myself for being such a p.u.s.s.y. Unfortunately, the elevator doors slide shut before I have time to react and suddenly I feel trapped like the walls are closing in around me.

Convincing myself that things between me and Gavin had to end was hard enough in itself. But now, facing the reality of actually saying those words to him has my stomach ready to rid itself of this morning's breakfast right here on the shining white tile floors.

I blame Kimber. Had she refused to give me his address when I asked, maybe I would have had time to talk myself out of this. Or maybe I should blame Joy for so willingly letting me take the Mercedes.

But then again I can't really blame them at all. I chose to put myself in this situation and now I'm choosing to get myself out of it. I know I need to get this over with one way or another.

Crossing to the end of the hall, I stop just outside the door that reads 1723, staring at the dark distressed wood for several long seconds before finally raising my fist. Rapping lightly against the surface, I take another deep breath. I do my best to calm the shake in my knees as I await the moment I have been dreading since last night when I realized this is what had to be done.

My heart is pounding so loudly in my ears, I barely register the noise of the door opening in front of me. It isn't until intense blue eyes settle on mine that I seem to snap from my haze.

"Harlee?" Gavin's smile spreads once he's recovered from the shock of finding me standing outside his door.

"H-Hey," I stutter, momentarily distracted by the fact that he's wearing no shirt, leaving his tight, defined muscles on full display. "I'm sorry to show up like this." I try to refocus. "Can I come in for a minute?" I ask.

"Of course." He pushes the door further open and steps aside to let me pa.s.s.

The moment the interior of the condo comes into view, I can't help but be extremely surprised that this is where he lives. I expected to find a run-down bachelor pad filled with beer bottles and empty pizza boxes. Instead, I'm standing in the middle of a very stylish, open living s.p.a.ce.

The walls are light gray, strategically designed with a few pieces of three-dimensional artwork that really gives the s.p.a.ce character. The dark wood floors seem to run throughout the entire condo and have a distressed look just like the front door.

There's a black leather sectional couch sitting in the center of the room facing a gas fireplace, a large television mounted on the wall above it. The back wall is lined with three floor to ceiling windows that make the s.p.a.ce feel open and airy, offering a perfect view of the city below.

"Wow," I say, finally turning back to Gavin just as he closes the door and slides the lock into place. "This place is incredible."

"It's home." He shrugs like it's whatever. "Can I get you a drink or something?" he asks, smirking when he catches me once again eyeing his incredible body.

"No, I'm not staying long." I shake my head, turning my gaze back to his face. "I'm sorry to just show up out of the blue like this, but I need to talk to you and it's a conversation I feel is better had in person."

"O-k-a-y," he draws out, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Can we sit?" I ask, gesturing to the couch.

I hate how formal I sound, but I know the last thing I can do right now is let my guard down.

"Sure." He nods.

I take a seat on the far side of the couch, relieved when he sits on the other side so he can face me. The last thing I want is for him to get too close, especially when he's only half dressed. My mind tends to go stupid whenever this man is involved.

"What's up?" He c.o.c.ks his head to the side curiously when I make no attempt to speak right away.

"We can't do this anymore, Gavin," I blurt out as I stare at the ottoman that sits directly in front of the couch, refusing to look at him. "It's not right, and I can't keep deceiving Bryan the way I have been. It's not fair to him."

"You're right." His words catch me off guard, my eyes flipping up to meet his. "It's not right because you should be with me, not him," he tacks on.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. s.h.i.t, I had this all worked out in my head," I ramble, scrambling to keep my thoughts straight. "I want to be with Bryan. I choose Bryan." I take a deep breath before once again meeting his gaze.

"I get you're scared. But you don't want him," he challenges, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as his eyes burn into mine.

"Yes, I do," I argue. "He's sweet and fun, and I really like him. I can't do this anymore. I know what this is, and I can't throw away what I could potentially have with Bryan over a fling you will no doubt tire of within days."

"That's not true." His voice takes on a hardness I hadn't antic.i.p.ated. "This isn't just some f.u.c.king fling. I'm not f.u.c.king playing games with you, Harlee. I thought I made that pretty clear the other night." His nostrils flare slightly causing me to shrink a bit under his heated stare.

"We both know this isn't going anywhere," I start again only to have him cut me off.

"Bulls.h.i.t," he seethes, pushing into a stand.

He's across the s.p.a.ce and pulling me to my feet before I have even processed that he's moved at all. Lifting my hand, he presses my palm against his bare chest as his face hovers just inches above mine.

"Do you feel that?" He gestures to how rapidly his heart is beating, each thud so intense it vibrates against my hand. "This is what you f.u.c.king do to me. You make me feel." He puts an emphasis on the word. "I don't just want your body. I want you. I want you in my life. I don't want to share you, or sneak around with you. I want you to be mine." His confession catches me off guard and I sway slightly, grabbing his forearm to steady myself.

"Gavin... I," I start but once again he doesn't let me finish.

"No." He tips my chin up, forcing me to meet his eyes. "You don't get to decide this without me. I'm just as much a part of this as you are."

"You don't know what you're saying," I finally manage to get out. "I'm sure it all sounds like fun right now, but when things get real, you're not going to want this the way you think you will."

"Don't f.u.c.king tell me what I do and do not want. I'm not a child. Yes, this is new and it's scary as h.e.l.l, but it's also the best f.u.c.king feeling I've ever had in my life," he admits, his words causing my heart to flip in my chest. "I know what I want, Harlee. I want you."

The second the words meet my ears his lips are on mine, soft at first but then more demanding. I try to resist. I try to fight against his attempt to change my mind, but it's useless. I am powerless against his advances. And what's worse, he knows it. He knows that when he kisses me, there's no way I can deny him.

My lips part involuntary and his tongue slides inside my mouth, a deep groan sounding from the back of his throat as he kisses me so deeply my body trembles against him.

He knows the moment he's got me. He can sense it in my demeanor. In the way my body goes limp against him, having no choice but to succ.u.mb to the intense want he stirs deep inside of me. I've never met a man that can command my body the way he does. I've never been with someone I couldn't walk away from. But with Gavin, all of that flies out the window.

Dipping down, he secures his hands around the back of my thighs before lifting me from the ground. I wrap my legs around his waist, securing my arms around the back of his neck as his lips fall to the base of my throat.

He nips and sucks the flesh as he slowly carries me down a dim hallway, pushing open the door at the very end. I barely register we are in a bedroom before the door slams closed and Gavin's mouth is once again on mine.

Each moment seems to happen in snaps, a timeless existence where there are no minutes or hours, but broken pieces like photographs being taken one after the other.

-My back as it comes to rest on top of a soft mattress.

-The eruption of goose b.u.mps across my flesh as piece by piece it's exposed to the coolness of the room.

-His lips as they trail down my chest, my stomach, nipping at my most sensitive flesh on his endless pursuit to kiss every inch of my body.

I'm so lost to the pleasure, to the feeling of being so worshipped, that by the time he rolls on a condom and settles in between my thighs, I feel like I belong to some clouded dream state rather than any actual reality.

When I feel his thick erection come to rest heavily against my pubic bone, I immediately readjust, eager to feel him inside of me. He finally enters inch by incredible inch, and I am a shameless mess of desperate need.

He lets out a deep groan as he sinks all the way inside of me, and my body takes over completely. My mind is no longer able to keep up with the demands of my l.u.s.t-filled appet.i.te.

I lift my hips to meet each of Gavin's thrusts, my body desperate and greedy for more. My nails rip at his flesh, and my teeth clamp down on his shoulder as the first o.r.g.a.s.m washes over me within minutes, hitting me in intense waves that sends my body convulsing below him.

Just when I think I can't take another second of the pleasure that is now almost painful, I feel another o.r.g.a.s.m start to build right behind the first.

"Gavin." His name is a plead off my lips.

"Let go, baby." He rocks back on his knees, pulling me up with him so that I am straddling his waist.

He enters me even more deeply in this position, but that's not what has my body feeling like it might split apart at any moment. It's from the feeling of his breath hot on my face. Of his hands as they lock on my hips. The look of animalistic hunger in his eyes as he grinds upward.

"Let go, baby." He rasps against my lips, sliding his tongue into my mouth. "Let go." He latches one hand down on my shoulder to hold me firmly in place as my second o.r.g.a.s.m rips through me.

My cries of pleasure echo throughout the otherwise silent room, but it does nothing to deter me. All I hear is him. All I feel is him. All I want is him.

"f.u.c.k," he grinds, finally succ.u.mbing to his own release as he sinks impossibly deep inside me.

He stills after several moments, dropping his face to my chest as he tries to catch his breath. Resting my chin on the top of his head, my hands work slow circles across his muscular back, neither of us ready to break the incredible connection I know we both feel.

"You told me once already that you're mine. I want to hear you say it for real this time." He speaks directly against my bare flesh, flicking his tongue against the hard bud of my nipple causing me to jump slightly.

"I don't think it's that simple," I say.

"Yes, it is." He pulls back to meet my gaze, his blue eyes so electric it causes my stomach to do a little flip. "I want you, Harlee. All to myself. I want you like this whenever I want it. I don't want to share you. Tell me you want that, too."

I wish his words didn't affect me so much. I wish I could fight off the emotion that bubbles in my throat and the excitement that flutters through my chest. He is what I want. I know that now. h.e.l.l, I've always known it.

"I want that, too," I answer honestly.

And I do. I want him more than I have ever wanted anything before in my entire life.

My only real hesitation is hurting Bryan, which is the last thing I want to do. But even as the thought crosses my mind, I know that's not entirely true. I'm also afraid to let Gavin in. I'm scared that if I do, I'll never recover when he walks away. And I truly believe eventually, he will walk away.

"G.o.d, what the f.u.c.k have you done to me, woman?" He hits me with a brilliant smile, pulling my face back down to his.

His lips brush against mine so sweetly that an involuntary gasp of air catches in my throat. There's something so intimate about our current position: his eyes burning into mine, his erection still deep inside of me, his lips working soft kisses across my mouth and jaw.

I can feel my heart swell inside my chest and with it comes a whole new onset of panic.

I love him.

I know it to be truer than anything else in this world. I don't know when it happened or how it happened so quickly, but as I pull back and once again meet his gaze, I know there is no denying it.

Of course, I keep my newfound revelation to myself. I don't need to add any more pressure to an already shaky situation. Because while it's easy to get lost and forget in the comfort of Gavin's arms, life is a lot more complicated outside of these four walls.